This is The Time

actually i wanted to give 'this is it' as the title of this entry, tapi kang ada orang claim michael jackson punyer final autobio movie dia plak, so with a slight changed i bagi la tajuk lain.

so, as the clock strike 12 which i suppose dah masuk hari baru, i don't get any answer regarding one of the most influencial question in my life, so things are not going to be the same again after this. you know, i had planned my life as what i want, because i don't want to waste any time, effort, feelings, etc etc although i know Allah has already plotted them for me. it was just a simple request as i thought all this while, this is what it was supposed to be. but no, it wont happen. and im tired, tunggu for nothing. i've decided to make it on my own. and i was quite ASHAMED with myself sebab i want it so badly but in the end, takde pape.the problem is, macam mana nak bagitau my family. i dah crack kepala fikir ayat yang paling sopan and less hurting. but maybe, the simplest answer should be, "tak tahu..". tapi so annoying kan?

regarding to that, at least i know lepas ni nak buat apa. sebenarnya sama jer klau the above matters jadi pun, cuma it should be a happy leaving, tapi now neutral leaving.

anyway, gaji tak masuk lagi. ingat nak beli nombor baru plus handphone. since ayah sangat baik hati to pay in advance and pay him back secara installment without any interest, sekarang masih tercari-cari handphone yang WORTH it. paling penting mesti ada wifi. HR cakap, kalau gaji bagi awal-awal nanti staff lari. sangat siot dia berkata begitu. by the way, kenapa iphone sangat mahal?tiba-tiba terminat..T_T

i read a book regarding personality, and i began to accept myself, and i began to realized my strengths and weaknesses. and sekarang, i took my work as what i am good at (strength) and perbaiki kelemahan. kelemahan tak tau ape sebab tak habis baca..haha!

tadi kat ofis best gila. masuk 9.30, boss datang lambat so dalam pukul 10 baru on desktop. lepas tu borak-borak, catch-up news nak dekat 12, itupun bos yang ajak okay. lepas tu baru buat kerja. MQA's coming so banyak documents nak kena handle. finished sorting at 2.30pm. lepas tu boss ajak bayar saman, pergi la balai polis. sekali ramai gila que up, balik la dengan hampa. tapi tak hampa sangat la sebab boss belanje sundae McD and tak hampa sangat sebab dapat bermain mata dan bertukar senyuman dengan abang polis. sampai ofis dalam 3.30pm, i masuk pantry makan. oh, i memang selalu tapau lauk rumah, selain jimat ia jugak sedap. habis makan pukul 4pm. lepas tu bukak email chatting dengan my friend, pasal love crisis. dalam 5.30pm habis.jangan ingat i tak buat kerja, tangan i cekap bermain computer (thanks to dinner dash) so multitasking bebeh! berhenti tea time, borak-borak dengan boss sampai pukul 6. buat kerja situ sana sikit, 6.15pm off desktop, ready nak balik. turun bawah sampai depan mesin puncher, pukul 6.28pm. memang la tak boleh punch. masuk board room, tengok view cantik gila, keluar balik punched tepat 6.30pm. terus balik.

so im beginning and trying to love my job. tapi esok dah start teaching, mesti busy sangat. T_T

okay nak tido.selamat malam.

ps: i was in love and i forgot what it feels like when you were in love.

Unsaid

okay everyone, HELLO!! how are you my dear audience? okayy, since everyone is here, i would like to say a few things to you guys as i thought these few things might be important to you, or better-it is important so i want you to put your ears on the maximum and listen very very carefully.

2011 is coming, and it only takes a few days for it to come.

so,
1. after so long i PLANNED and try to WORK things out, it didn't came out as what i EXPECTED. although, with your CONCERN, this should be happening. right?
2. so i don't want to HUMILIATE myself again, this time, im slowing down a bit. but you have to be CAREFULL, as i'm afraid it is going to STOP.
3. after what you have said to me dear friend, i'm moving away from you because truly said, your words and actions hurt me ALOT.
4. don't be sorry because i don't need your sympathy.
5. while you think that you are the most happiest person in the entire world, i know your secrets. so don't act and bragg as you are one.
6. im not actually liking you but it depends.
7. look around yourself, why people don't agree with you in the first place.
8. oh and look yourself in the mirror. while you are hating other people, again look in the mirror.
9. i've known you for a long time, and i know you well enough. but you never even try to understand me.
10. define friendship please.
11. girls, i love you. although we don't see each other frequently, but i know we love each other so much. this is what we call, growing. bear with it.
12. love don't wait. it comes and go. maybe it hang around quite a long time before it goes away.
13. and yes, i definitely in love with you.

thank you for the attention although semua ni takde kena mengena dengan kehidupan anda. and tomorrow is monday, i need to iron my clothes. hee..

missing!

True Love is Not a Fantasy

true love is a fantasy. itu kata patrick dempsey. but i don't think that is completely true. in my opininon, true love will exist kalau both partners love each other so much, completely honest, and very much loyal to each other.

the question is, is it hard for you to be completely honest and at the same time loyal to your partner? kenapa there are such thing as lying, hidding and etc. just because we are called homosapien, and we are not perfect, kita boleh senang-senang jadikan itu sebagai alasan untuk tidak jujur dan setia?

so, currently im watching a popular series or drama whatever you call them. and dalam cerita tu ada 5 pelakon yang ada 5 different personalities and everything. two of them are married, tinggal the rest as kawan. what makes me so keen to watch from season 1 to season 5 is simply because how sweet the couple can be.

so these are the characters yang i think helps a lot when you want to find your soulmate. or even if you are married, boleh jadi ini antara benda-benda kecil yang i think berguna dalam hidup.

1. always support your partner especially berkaitan benda yang diorang suka.let's say satu hari diorang balik kerja and tells you yang dia kena marah bos ke ape, cheer him/her up. give him your full support and says that everything is gonna be alright.cakap yang kita bole go through this thing together.
2. never put the blame on him/her. contohnyer dia tersalah beli sos. janganlah membebel yang you all tak suka sos nie la, kenapa tak dengar cakap you all la,kenapa tak write down la.
another word that i HATE so much, "tu laa..kan i dah cakap bla bla..". even if anyone cakap macam tu rasa nak smack je muka orang tu. memang kadang-kadang kita nak cakap, tapi just keep it in your mind. bukan sahaja ayat itu menjatuhkan kredibiliti seseorang, malah kita sebagai pasangan sepatutnya jaga air muka pasangan kita. itu semua pilihan. so bila pilihan tu salah, ada cara lain untuk betulkan keadaan.
3. keep them ahead. pengorbanan. in everything you do, put the one you love as the reason you do whatever things you do. contohnya kerja. kita bekerja untuk bagi anak bini makan, untuk kebahagia keluarga. bila senang semua senang. so that kita rasa semangat bila kita tau ape jua yang kita buat, akan ada seseorang yang menghargai.
4. tell them how much you love them, everyday. i know, ramai yang rasa kenapa perlu ucap cinta setiap hari.asal tahu dalam hati cukupla. i don't know about guys, tapi girls memang mengader nak hari-hari dengan 'i love u..' , 'i miss you..' sebab boys and girls are differents maka kehendak pun different. well, kalau you have a partner yang joyous enough tak kisah dengan this thing, well..good for you.
5. cinta bukan sebab harta. erm..harta memang penting, tapi jangan jadikan harta sebagai tujuan rasa cinta. cinta sebab rasa. rasa dalam hati.
6. still madly deeply in love after so many years together. bukan susah untuk nak rasa cinta. simple things like holding hands, talking on the phone for hours, emailing, simple notes left. use your creativity.

what else?malas nak fikir dah. banyak sangat. but it is a good lesson. and i love how the series came up with this whole love marriage thing. very nice.

but i know, benda yang paling memenatkan bila kita dah buat sehabis baik just to make them happy, they never appreciate it. when we wanted to make things to a whole new level, it is just not at the right time. buy honey, keep trying. you'll have somebody to love you.

*senyum*

ok sekarang nak sambung tengok season finale. gosh..i really love love, if ya' know what i mean..

How Do I know He Loves Me?

How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?

How does she know that you really really truly love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
How does she know that you really really truly love her?

It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
"How do I know he loves me?
How do I know he's mine?"

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is Grey?
He'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

You got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each little something to lead her to believe you love her

Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true
How do you know he loves you?
How do you know he's yours?

Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words meant just for you?
He'll find someway to tell you with the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love
He's your love

That's how you know he loves you
That's how you know it's true

Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes
Plan a private picnic by the fire's glow
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show

That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

-That's how you know OST Enchanted-

Checklist

since im spending my time alone (which is great!), there are a few things need to be settle down.

checklist:
1. basuh pinggan - checked!
2. basuh kain - checked!
3. jemur kain - checked!
4. lipat kain - petang..
5. sweeping the floor - checked!
6. mopping - petang..
7. iron working clothes - esok..
8. slides for class - malam..
9. cooking for lunch - err...home delivery?
10. movies - now!
11. kemas bilik sendiri, bilik ayah & mama, bilik abang, guest room - checked!
12. siram pokok bunga - no way!
13. basuh kereta - malam (kot).
14. lap meja, tv semua- checked!

what else? currently i am watching videos from youtube, basically a music video. gosh sure they all have lyrics that make you go "damn....". in the blues perhaps. i love to put myself in that real situation. it keeps me on the ground. ya' know..

*senyum*

im hungry. thinking of going to that shop mall, saje buat window shopping. tapi...no cars are available. i mean , yang ada semua manual-t. malas la..ececeh..sebenarnya tak pandai bawak..lalala~

im going to have this weekend all by myself, eating, sleeping, goleking, facebooking, blogging and surfing while watching those korean dramas from KBSW. my oh my....pleasure!

Cinta Tak Direstui

Malam ini ku lihat bulan
Tak terjatuh lalu terurai
Ku nggak ngerti apa yang harus
Ku lakukan

Hari ini aku putuskan
Untuk jauh ku langkahkan kaki
Untuk pergi dari dirimu

Biarkanlah kan kubawa
Sejuta harapan yang indah
Yang pernah kita lalui
Saat bersama

Ku harap kau bisa mengerti
Cinta kita tak direstui
Malam ini harus
Rela ku pergi

Maafkanlah kekasih
Ku harus tinggalkanmu
Meski ku tahu ini menjadi
Kau sakit hati

Relakanlah kekasih
Tutup air matamu
Semua ini aku lakukan
Untuk kebaikanmu

Dengarkanlah kekasih
Ku harus tinggalkanmu
Meski ku tahu ini menjadi
Kau sakit hati

Relakanlah kekasih
Tutup air matamu
Semua ini aku lakukan
Untuk kebaikanmu

-d'massive-

when you know that the moment has arrived...

Pick Me while You Can

Alhamdulilah. satu masalah hidup selesai. sometimes we just need courage and facts to work things out. kadang-kadang ape yang kita cakap, orang tak faham. so to make things easier, narrow down your options into only two choices. (a) and (b). not 'buts', cause 'buts' is stupid, same goes to 'tak tau', the most stupid irrelevant answer to any questions. but anyway, i'd done my part and i am so happy to see the outcomes, if there's any. but probably not. but yeah, the problem dah settle, i can continue with my life.

im tired and i don't want any craps to deal with. enuff is enuff.

tadi masa pergi kerja, i was so exhausted and in very bad mood. oh, my very bad mood day doesn't affect anyone sebab usually my very-bad-mood cuma dapat dirasakan oleh saya. maybe i'll be a lil quiet but it's okay to say "hye F..". so boss dengan baik hati announced that today(friday 24th) keja halfday. gila best. and while waiting for the 1.00pm, my boss did manicure for me. turqoise. nice kan?

and bila balik rumah, everything was settled. i am happy about it. maybe once in awhile i will think about my choice but at times, kita dah tak rasa sebeban dulu. kita tak rasa menyusahkan orang and we lead our life according to what we want, although what we want is seldomly we get. right?

sekarang nak tidur dengan perasaan yang 'lite'.

oh yer, im going to change my number. maybe it's still a maxis. reason to change:
1) it cost me a load than what i can afford. 30seconds call for 39sens? bapak mahal. tak tau kenapa tukar rate dia. expensive for me.

other option-celcom xpax ke ape. digi perhaps. depend. will let friends know through FB.

Okay, will do!

nampaknye im beginning to write again. selalunya i take about 5 to 30 minutes to finish an entry depending on my mood and the surroundings. i have almost 10 great entries that should be posted out tapi i couldn't help but keep them in the draft, sebab too sensitive to some people, maybe mengaibkan a few people and etc. i don't want to hurt anyone whether directly or indirectly.

i made a few good things today and i felt proud with myself and i felt good about it, actually. i don't have to mention it or maybe later (indirectly) but yeah, it's good when you did something nice. in that case, you know that for your entire life, that this very one day, was a day when you did something good, kalau nak compare dengan hari-hari yang mendosa je lebih. kan?

staff ramai cuti due to x-mas and office seems so bored. and exam a day before christmas?gila sangat tak respect kepada penganut agama kristian. they all pon need time to be with the family, deco the house, sama macam kita buat preparation for Aidulfitri, Deewali, Gong Xi Fa Chai. what would you feel if others do this exact thing to you? esok i keje sampai pukul 10 malam. i rasa hari-hari sebelum hari jumaat, i need to work until 10 pm everyday. which is good because by the time i get home, i wil be penat like damn and terus tido.

lapar?tak sangat but im craving for these:

kan??sedapnyer.....i never was a big fan of satay from kajang since the first time i ate them at the age of 8. the satay tak well-done, not juicy enough, the marinated satay never that great, kuah kacang not suit my taste. senang cakap, satay from that infamous place never up to my standard.

bila i pindah to my place, i found a very nice and humble kedai tepi jalan, owned by a very old malay makcik with his son (never meet her husband btw) which apparently he was my senior during school. he is so like mat rempit but the thing is, he helped her mom like everyday to jaga the stall. it change my perception you know. rempit=bad. rempit jual satay tolong mak= sweet enough. sometimes his friends pun hang around, tak tau la menolong, atau tolong menyusahkan. ehehe...eh, jauh menyimpang! oh the satay sangat sedap sangat sangat sangat sedap that i love it very much. kadang-kadang tapau, kadang-kadang makan kat kedai dia. and it was cheap too. totally worth it!

so, weekend's coming. again-movies, satay (night only), and domino's for lunch! sementara tunggu gaji masuk, kita habeskan duit yang ada dulu..=)

ps: things are not the same. we are not young and i can't no longer be the same, if you are not the same person i used to know.

Belum Cuti-Plan Dah Ada

why life should have such drama? why on earth people loves drama rather than doing your own work and behave as such you are in a professional manners. i thought working with that kind of tribe je ada masalah macam nie, tapi working in this type of tribe pon lebih kurang jer. it is exhausting and i really don't like when everytime the drama's are on air. you get what i mean? and it could be worse.

but i really enjoying myself at work. i take my everyday job as something that i LIKE to do, not something that i HAVE to do. two different meanings but with the same goal- finishing your job. i suka waktu pagi, where i am equip with full energy, charged from a very good night sleep the night before. i love waking up in the morning (if i have something to do) but i HATE waiting until the nights come. i bole bangun seawal 5pagi untuk mula kerja, but bila time tunjuk pukul 5 petang, i mula jadi macam kanak-kanak nampak aiskrim berserta happy meal, all excited to get home. nasib baik, i heard that my class usually sampai pukul 5 je since malam ACCA will start off their classes.

my place takde orang melayu. kalau ade pon, wayy to junior. so i am hoping, starting january, the management akan hire orang melayu *ehem*. selain i memerlukan seseorang untuk menyegarkan mata i, i juga memerlukan teman berbual (communication barrier due to different nationality) dan juga teman makan waktu lunch.err, bukan i tak suka keluar dengan my friends, tapi it will be merrier kalau ada someone yang macam kita. yela, boleh share tempoyak bila dia amik sambal belacan.

tadi one of the lecturer stop by and gave us a whole chocolate cake. tak tau la sebab lapar ke ape, but the cake was awesome, sedap! ada lagi separuh kat office, hopefully takde la anak-anak semut yang buat party Zouk kat situ, memang mintak spray je la kan. she was nice actually. her face is like so garang you know, so i macam biasa double standard la kan. turned out, she is super nice! muka garang tapi baik takpe. jangan muka hodoh perangai pon ikut hodoh, such a *****.

anyway, lagi beberapa hari nak new year!!mesti fun kalau dapat celebrate dengan orang yang paling kita sayang. to give me such a warm hug and says, "i am happy to go through these years with you and i can't wait to have another year with you..". and yes, i don't get it this year. but i already have my new year's resolution. sounds pretty amazing.

my married friend asked me, "how many times you wish i love you to your love one?". i said every second if i can, but usually everytime the conversation between us stop, and out of nowhere pun i boleh cakap camtu. it shouldn't have reasons or rules. when you feel like you want to express your feelings, do it!she said i am oh so romantic..

esok kerja and baju belum gosok. kalau malas, i pakai baju kurung since paling senang nak gosok. if extra rajin, i pakai la kemeja and seluar/skirt. by esok, tinggal lagi satu hari je keje but i have to work until 10pm. part time job kan.

sabtu?my family nak pergi jenjalan but i am too lazy so i decided to stay at home, mintak duit sikit kat mama, and will order dominos pizza and eat them all by myself sambil tengok HBO or any DVD's available.

sounds great for Christmas? i don't celebrate Xmas but thanked PM for giving us public holiday. i always support you PM..muah muah!

Bangun lambat tak bererti lambat

i was late to office this morning because i woke up late. usually my sweet childish sleep ended at 7.30am plus a 10mins of snooze. but tadi, at 8.13am baru bangun. i was rushing like mad and managed to arrived at the lrt putra around 8.35am. uh'huh.....with no make-up on. mana sempat nak pakai eyeliner and dapped a blusher pon. i looked like a mess.

upon arriving at the office, my stomach growled. not because i'm hungry, err..well part of it, but semalam i ate a whole pack of siput sedut or it's scientific name - Cerithidea obtusa . especially bila masak lemak cili padi memang terbaik. so anyway, any sea food dish there's always one yang busuk. i guess i've ate the bad one, so perut sangat sakit. sampai je office, okay you know what the hell i was doing, no need to elaborate on that.

the best thing was, the office has a new look. my boss and other collegues arranged our office to be a better place. more spacious. they moved the student's file's cupboard into my big boss room, they arranged the tables, so our place become spacious enough for us untuk buat kenduri pon. we even have a new stronger chairs.thanks to them!

things are not going well between us-the collegues. i don't know why. we were good and close before this, but now, ermm...things were not the same. i don't know what my mistakes,i don't know what i did to make them do this kind of thing to me. and i don't know if they treated me like this just because the boss is quite keen to me although i am the freshman compared to them. but if i did anything wrong, i am sorry. i don't mean it that way.im just want to do my job.

i went surfing through the net,to have a backup plan called "D-Plan". i am saving my money and time for February's big event, but if the event is cancelled, im gonna use my money and time for September's event. i don't wanna waste any money AND time no more.

i was shocked to see that my money susut already. In conclusion, i am suck at money handling. so no handphone, no laptop, and no camera.

i don't know how you managed to buy that oakley's sunglasses. it was damn expensive man!btw, you looked sexy in it mr.boyfriend..lalala~

A Day Out Turn Sweet Sour..ahaha!

yesterday me and my boyfriend,we went out to watch some movies. and yeah being the nicest boyfriend ever, he usually bought the tickets online, because it was so damn easy for us just to went to the counter and picked it up.i was and still thinking of applying for a credit card, surely not for showing off, but it's for the convenience. but i have a goal, to have this much amount of salary, only then i would apply one.

so we went to OU (as usual) and chose Tron Legacy. i think my boyfriend was much enjoying the movie, i prefer (that day) to watch romantic comedy movie but there were none of it. and best yet, i slept for almost 15minutes in the middle of the movies, and woke up only when my boyfriend siku me, because i think he knew i was asleep. i don't think the movie was bad, but i guess i was damn tired or maybe the 3D glasses causes me to sleep.

my review: as i paid for a 3D, i was hoping that the movie wow me, and yes-they're not. and i was (for the entire movie) praying that when the program crashes during The Grid, the pixels crashes into pieces and falls on me (audience) and they managed NOT to do so. i was so freaking dissapointed. and when sam's father out of nowhere having this superpower was SO NOT COOL. you are a human in the first place and trapped in your own programme. you are not superhuman. the only things that wow me was the super sleek motorbikes (love!) and the game (the grid) itself.

and shamely to say that Harry Potter beats Tron Legacy. (for me)

after movie, we went straight to SS2 for a dinner. it was my treat because my boyfriend got some good news about his work (congrats hun!).so it was time for us to celebrate something. we were always missed out to celebrate our annivesary due to bad timing and etc.so that night was the night. sadly, SS2 only managed to put up 20tables for each night because MP told them to do so. it was not hype anymore, i mean the place.we had to wait almost 10minutes for a table as there were lots of people waiting in the line, and when we got the table, we had to shared it with other people.you know, they talked loud, fast, and laughed like mad. and i don't have the chance to have a romantic dinner with him, like usual.

since the movie was bad, the place was crowded, and the food also bad. too salty for me. he said that, it will be our last time to go there.it was pretty sad because i quite like that place. i mean their pink panther, chicken chop were nice and delicious.

another great thing was, i met my friend, she's married and it was my first time seeing her. just right after i got out from the washroom, she was passing me by. i looked right to her, and we were like, "ahhhhhhhhhhhh..........eeeeee......******..jumpe jugak!!".. it was great after so many years. she's newly bride and the wedding supposed to be somewhere around march. she's pretty, and so nice. we were like best friend although all these years we were only known through the virtual world.

hrmm..boyfriend always so nice to me. we were talking about works and how to deal with things.as i said so many times, i always like when he tell stories. i dont why. i dont know if i love the stories or i just love listen to his voice. and i love to hear his thoughts and ideas. i always respect him as friend, and as a man who always has this brilliant ideas and maturity in his thoughts.he was a good friend too.

talking about future, both of us have created our own future. Insyaallah with Allah's will, things will turn out nicely, right sayang?? yes i love him, i love him very much the same from the very first moment. he is everything to me. my very best friend.

Perangai Students During Exam

they always and sure will make me laugh vigorously (in heart) everytime when i in charged or become the invigilator. macam-macam betul. and it makes me wonder, adakah saya juga begitu kelihatan clumsy, honest, nerd, etc etc.

Perangai #1: Best Student.
kalau best student with good CGPA okay jugak la, ni answeer sheet pon penuh separuh tapi muka buat muka confuse atau tak pun, buat muka tekun nak jawab exam siap tulis and kira-kira kat langit, kira macam sebok sangat la sampai calculator pon tak cukup sampai nak tulis kat langit. macam nampak jer. masalahnyer everytime i looked at him,dia buat macam tu. maybe nak tunjuk sangat dia menjawab soalan lebih tekun berbanding orang lain. whatever.

Perangai #2: Loves the tree
Ini kes mintak answer sheet, macam father (lebih sopan berbanding bapak) dia punya company. i really don't mind at all about who's paying for the papers, but I DO CARE for how much the trees that's need to be cut down to make the papers. masalahnya, dia bukan tulis penuh dengan answer and kalau silap terus keronyokkan ke apa, ni lukis 'love-love' sikit, keronyok.tulis nama dengan matrix number tak cantik pon, keronyok. lagi satu masalah, exam hall besar. ke depan ke belakang i hantar answer sheet-penat. so please make it useful rather than conteng your bf's name and keronyok.

Perangai #3: Gorgeous!
untuk students yang rasa diri diorang hot. truly said, lelaki dan perempuan sama je. perempuan biasalah, sentiasa rasa hot jer. tapi kalau lelaki pon nak rasa hot jugak-susah. yes i know, i always looked (or checked) on you, sebab yela kau memang undeniable hensem, tapi janganlah kau usha aku je macam saje nak bagi aku tengok lagi betapa hensemnya kau.i have a bf for god's sake..hahaha!!so kira i yang duduk tak senang. i tak tau whether i pandang dia sebab dia hensem, atau sebab dia pakai kasut Lacoste dengan jam G-shock tu, and t-shirt putih with levis..all my favourite. tapi dia memang hot stuff. sayang cuma bukan ISlam.

Perangai #4: Tak sedar Diri
tak nak mengata, tapi kalau asal kau dari negara orang kulit hitam and tempat kau memang all the time panas matahari, and resemble safari, jangan nak mengada sangatlah nak suruh aku TUTUP air-cond sebab kau feeling cold, hanya lepas kau baru duduk 5 minit?? lelaki kot. cakap dahla bajet British accent.

Perangai #5: Paling Ternakal
masuk exam hall, bising-bising, datang paling lambat, keluar awal. nak keluar siap say goodbye to the whole people kat exam hall. rasa nak baling jer heels 3 inch ni kat dia. pastu bila dah bagi warning jangan bercakap, dia cakap lagi dengan kawan dia. pastu pandang-pandang aku konon macam aku suka sangat la perangai macam tu. sekali bagi dia muka paling garang, dia dah jeling-jeling konon menyampah la dengan tak ter-cool-nya cik invigilator ni. padan muka. so what.

cuma satu baiknya cik invigilator nie, dia suka bagi jawapan kat budak exams. maths salah kira, dia tolong hampir kesemuannya. paper english present past tense, progressive past tense semua dia tolong.even how the virus spread paper computer yang bukan dia punya pon dia tolong jugak. business statistic yang ada sikit-sikit dengan statistic dia dulu pon dia tolong jugak.

tak tau la kot bila dia jaga budak-budak forensik ni, dia yang duduk terus kat meja tu tolong jawab.

Work Day #40

nak masuk bulan kedua kerja di tempat baru, gosip-gosip liar, office's affair, backstabbing,mula kedengaran di sana sini. since i'm not working with malays, and the only malay there is me, so to potray the best's malay ever, i would never (still trying) behave as such that ramai orang cakap melayu ni suka menfitnah and batu lesung, eh i mean fire stone-batu api katenye. and me, hanya duduk di table, dengar perbualan mereka dalam bahasa asing yang hanya term2 tertentu yang my brain receptor bole react, and smile and wave. cewahh..macam queen pulak. anyhow, it is their problem, so better still biar diorang yang deal with it.

setiap kali lunch, boss suka ajak kita. boss kita yang bukan melayu tu sangat sangat suka makan makanan melayu. masa dia belajar kat UM dulu, ramai kawan melayu, so dah terbiasa sangat. makanan ibunda pandang sebelah mata je. walaupun kadang-kadang jer boss belanja lunch, tapi boss suka beli side dish. macam fruits la rojak la. paling suka kalau pukul 5 dia ajak jalan-jalan pergi beli karipap atau cheese cake. dia bayarkan, so setakat temankan apa adehal. walaupun dia berlainan bangsa, suka bebenor dia ajak kita.

ada satu penyarah nie, dia suka sangat tegur kita. masa jaga exam hari tu, siap dia cakap kat students, "if you have any problems, just ask this nice lady here (merujuk kepada saya), and she will call me." tapi dia memang baik pon. just for the records, i caught two students cheating during exam. my boyfriend said im so not cool, and to just give them a chance. sorry sikit k? i never cheat during exam, i mean final exam k. so it is just not fair to others. strict eh?

oh, my part time job started last week, and the work started yesterday. it was okay. since im having cough and flu, it was not okay then. but i managed to do it, shall i say-perfectly? bragginnngggggg!!!ha ha ha.

isnin kerja. truly said, i missed my life as a student. and yes, tipu sangat bila orang kata dah pegang duit taknak continue study. money is nothing to me compare to having free time and less pressure. err...money is nothing to me when the boyfriend pays everything...lalalala~

Snip Snip...

1. kerja sangat sibuk. MQA nak datang baru nak kelam kabut. pastu yang kelam-kabut nyer adalah kita. long working hours and lunch pun tak sempat. yang baiknya boleh lose weight. tapi kalau balik mengketedarah macam 10 tahun makan pon tak guna jugak. anyway, balik selalunya terus tidur. penat penat penat.
2. i was hoping something big happen in february 2011, but i guess it is not going to happen and will never happen. sedih sangat dan berhari-hari nangis tak ingat dunia. yer, perempuan memang sinonim dengan menangis, kan?but rasanya itulah yang kita namakan Qada' dan Qadar. truly said, i never waste any time pun sebenarnya. it's a journey, and a learning process. cume kesan dia masih berbekas sebab 'it's a promise'.
3. ehem. first payment dah dapat. happy bukan main. and sebab sedih sangat i bought a new shoe. ingat nak beli dua tapi melampau pulak kan?kang tak pakai jer. azam 2011, i nak beli satu kasut setiap bulan.atau tak -alternately dengan baju, seluar, beg..etc.
4. konvo hari tu i had a blast time with friends. tapi tapi masih sedih dengan keadaan no.2. so konvo, biasalah, bunga, gifts, taking pictures, nangis-nangis.
5. next week, parents off to JB and S'pore.lama pulak tu. tak tahu nak ikot ke tak. but i guess i want to stay home, being alone is a great time to heal myself. sounds boring, but yes, im a homey girl.

tengok. nak buat full story pun malas. ha ha ha.

Bila Anda Bosan Mengharungi Jalan Yang Sesak

you know, when you are in a long trip to some where that you wanted to go,for an example-a mall, you tend to get boring, or at least feels like you wanted to do something kan dalam kereta. since i felt like it was a long trip, so i came up with an idea, or best-a game!!sambil berniat nak kacau mr.driver.

kita panggil dia, "a mini car game". permainan ini requires only two person, and pastikan partner anda seorang yang cool tapi cepat naik angin, sayang anda sepenuh hati, penggeli, dan dia suka mini games.

*gelak*

i played these mini games, selalunya dengan my bf. actually, this game was invented specially for him. hadoii..memang seronok la. lagi-lagi dia kuat melayan. memang nak gelak guling-guling jer.


Rattle Snake

game ni kena buat bunyi macam rattle snake. bukan hiss-sound tapi dia macam 'terh terh' la bunyi dia. kena buat dengan muka macam nak attack. guna dua jari, jari telunjuk dan jari hantu. move the two fingers up and down, macam jari telunjuk atas, jari hantu ke bawah dari jauh, dan makin lama makin dekat dengan tempat yang paling geli, contohnya perut, dengan kelajuan yang sangat perlahan. kalau anda pandai buat muka 'psycho' makin seronok permainan ini. tiada yang menang atau yang kalah, tapi selalunya yang kalah adalah yang rasa geli.

*gelak*


Incy Wincy Spider

game ni sama macam rattle snake. tapi kita ganti bunyi rattle snake tu dengan lagu incy wincy spider. game nie mudah. kena nyanyi lagu incy wincy spider dengan penuh semangat sambil tangan pun macam climbing up the spot macam tu. sampai je dekat ...washed the spider out, jari kita pon slide jugak kat tempat partner kita yang paling geli contohnya pinggang. kalau dia tepis maksudnya kita menang la tu. kalau boleh nyanyi macam kita nyanyi kat baby, so that dia tak suspicious sangat kita nak buat macam tu.kan?? hihihi..


Touch N Go

Game ni takdelah fun sangat. tapi it was fun to me. game ni selalunya dimainkan macam lagi 500m nak dekat plaza tol. game ni cuma requires smart tag. smart tag jarang sekali lekat kat cermin kereta tu kan sebab takut kena pecah kereta ke ape. so, sementara tunggu lorong smart tag turn kita, anda boleh la amik smart tag tu, dan
scan kat partner kita tu sambil buat bunyi "titt titt!!", konon macam dah scan. buat especially dekat anggota badan macam lengan atau perut. masa scan tu buat muka seposen dan macam takde perasaan. lepas tu cakap, "dah, bole jalan dah..". selalunya pasangan anda buat muka bengang kenapa dia naik kereta dengan orang macam anda.

i tau game ni mungkin kelihatan bodoh, but it was fun to me, at least. dari i tak buat ape-ape yang fun dalam kereta dan jalan jam. oh fyi, teasing him is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE GAME!!since dia adalah penggeli, kacau dia always keep me happy. teehee..

so i had a lot of fun teasing him today. he looked tired but managed to keep me happy at all times. sepatutnya makan meatballs ikea hari ni, tapi dia telah menggoda saya untuk makan ikan siakap 3 rasa, my favourite. sangat benci but it was all worth while sebab ikan besar sangat dan sedap sangat2!! thank you sayang.

rapunzel adalah sangat best. tak sia-sia tengok 3D yang pening2 lalat itu. i hate it sebab gaji tak masuk lagi, and i wanted to buy a few things so no shopping for me. haisshh...f21 was on sale like 70% and the skirts, oh my- gojes sangat! he bought seluar kerja, and i think he will look good in that. sape lagi nak cakap bf sendiri look good, selain daripada gf. hee..

im waiting for a news and i hope everything will be great, like always! Ya Allah, permudahkan segala urusan kami. Amin~

kasut purple

berbaju ayu purple ditambah dengan kasut purple heels 5inch berambut ikal mayang jalan dengan penuh yakin dari train station ke ofis. gaya penuh anggun klasik sambil mendengar mp3 player sony berwarna pink, gaya moden wanita golongan elit. sampai ofis seawal setengah jam dari waktu punch card, memang gaya pekerja berdedikasi. masuk lift dan terus punch card, pegi ke cafeteria untuk 'breakfast'.

sampai ofis setelah setengah jam berlalu, boss pun sampai. "good morning miss XX" dengan gaya selamba penuh rasa hormat. no wonder boss senang dengan pekerja yang satu ini.

"miss FF, can you take the question paper from the XX room, and go to building YY?we have exam at 10.00". jam pukul 9.30.

perempuan berbaju purple ayu bergaya elit terus tepuk dahi, "wth la wehhh..!!". building YY to jauhhhh kot!".

*scroll atas*

5inch kan punye ksaut??tak blist plak kau jalan laju gila macam lumba jalan siap bawak kotak macam 5kg ada question paper pastu nak kena jalan and set up exam hall in 30 minutes??are you kidding me??

memang yakin dan pasti blister la lepas tu. hangin jugak. cadang duduk office hari ini buat kerja-kerja amal edit and add marks and everything. last-last the whole day jaga exam. lunch pada pukul 5.30pm. lapar tahap rasa nak makan meja kat situ.

5.30 balik ofis, pergi cafe makan for 30 minutes. dan godek pc sini sana sikit, 6.15 ciao. heaven betul. penat tapi okayla. met new people and new students.

oh, monday and wednesday ni cuti?tapi kenapa?








it's my CONVOCATION DAY...horeyy!!

Part Time Job

since i tak pernah add my collegues kat facebook, so i am pretty sure diorang tak baca my blog.

i got another job offer but it's a part-time job.so after office hour 6.30pm, i have to go to another place and work from 8.00pm to 10.00pm. tadi dah call and confirmkan my position.

nak cari duit lebih kena la rajin usaha. orang yang berusaha Allah dan janjikan balasan yang setimpal.

bukan dengan cara MLM atau skim cepat kaya. dusta semata. oh, MLM pun ada usaha jugak. duduk dan dapat duit yang melimpah ruah. cool gilakan?

whatever. i just bought a carwash solution from AMWAY. my only car wash solution yang i yakin dan pasti dapat bersihkan my car dengan bestnyer.

Panduan Menaiki Keretapi Transit (the pandai-way)

Sejak-sejak dah selalu sangat naik train nie, i mula rasa ada beberapa perkara yang orang kita (baca: malaysian) tak patut buat, dan kalau boleh elakkan kalau dan bila naik train.

1. sebelum beli tiket, tolongggggggggggggggla keluarkan duit sebelum beli tiket nak beratur tu. we don't have time to wait for you to keluarkan duit from your purse okay!lepas dah amek tiket, boleh pulak nak masukkan balik dalam purse yang dia dah simpan awal-awal JUST BEFORE beli tiket. it get pretty annoying bila orang kat bekang dah beratur panjang.
2. nak masukkan tiket dalam card slot tu, we don't have like 3010 punya teknologi even if you are using touch ' n go. supposely nama dia wait-touch-wait-'n-go. leave at least 3seconds for it/the system to compute the whole thing. gap between you and the person in front of you. just sebab sifat TAK SABAR you tu, semua orang terpaksa change lane beratur, and of course orang yang beratur lane sebelah mesti marah kita potong que dia.
3. naik escalator tu, kalau nak bersenang lenang, SILA BERDIRI di sebelah kiri. bukan sebelah kanan. i had to like criss cross semata nak cepat. sangat wth okayy.
4. let people out dulu. kalau kita miss the train, lebih better than dari orang yang tak dapat turun,and kena ambik train lain nak patah balik to the desire station. stupid and pity isn't it?? cepat tak bertempat.
5. ini paling menyampah sangat. naik train kat kelana jaya, nak turun kat terminal putra. tapi duduk betul-betul depan pintu!!aihh..kang cakap bodoh sombong marah. station kau jauh lagi, duduk kat tengah-tengah train yang takde pintu pun takpe. yang kau bijak sangat block the way orang nak turun naik kenapa?jauh lagi tau tak??
6. bagila orang mengandung duduk. kau mengandung ke?ke perut besar jadi malas nak berdiri?
7. kalau bawak beg besar turun dari KLIA ke ape, letak tepi. bukan sejurus selepas kau masuk kat pintu and leave it kat situ. orang belakang nak masuk camne??aihh..otak kat lutut ke, bungkus dalam beg sekali?
8. wangi-wangi kan sikit diri tu kalau nak public transport.
9. kalau nak suruh sedara-mara datang ambik, pastikan you are the one who WAIT for your family to come and fetch you. bukan diorang yang TUNGGU and park kat depan tempat teksi. kacau traffic and kacau teksi faham tak? lepas tu dah kena hon pon tak reti gerak. cakap kurang pandai, kereta bawak nak canggih jer.so i am PRETTY SURE kalau kereta semahal itu, otak dan pemikiran sama mahalnya. kalau tak, anggap jela awak tak layak nak pakai kereta mahal-mahal macam tu.

kerja seronok. perjalanan pergi dan pulang agak tak menarikla. berubah la sikit wahai rakyat malaysia. kata asia penuh dengan kelembutan dan adab sopan santun yang tinggi. tapi?? haihh..memalukan.

One Day of Aidiladha

" abang, kalau raya puasa kan, kite hantar sms mintak maaf semua kan, kalau aidiladha?", i asked my brother. i found myself sounded pretty stupid and jahil and funny at the same time since i can't recall the purpose of aidiladha.

so i replied my friend's sms, " selamat hari raya aidiladha, semua hidup kita lebih diberkati, amin". but rasanya mine was like more 'ikhlas' sebab dia hantar sms yang dah set siap gambar masjid and everything. but since i've known her macam 3 hari, it's fine.

pagi raya tiba-tiba teringat kat my bf. lepas sembahyang raya, i packed all the foods and hantar kat dia. risau sebab the night before he went home agak lambat and lepas tu dia kata dia terus tidur. so takut jugak perut dia kosong pagi dah kena sembahyang raya semua. traffic was okay, so sekejap je dah sampai. luckily dia ada kat luar rumah masa i sampai. two of his U's friends pon ada. jumpa FMIL lepas tu kena bahan. sabar jela. teehee...

i went back home tapi tak sempat tengok diorang kena sembelih. and lagipon boleh tak pergi surau tak pakai tudung? nak kata bodoh pun yer jugak. hahaha...so i balik rumah nenek and makan for breakfast. lapar gila. dalam kereta, perut buat pertandingan karaoke..T_T

petang until tadi went for a house-warming of my cousin. cosy gila rumah dia. and since rumah dia kat suburb, lagi la rasa malas nak balik. 'curik' 3 bungkus nasi impit untuk bawak gi office esok.

so, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA. SEMOGA PENGORBANAN KITA SELAMA INI DITERIMA ALLAH S.W.T.

ps: kalau lontong tertukar dengan nasi impit/ ketupat, sangat tak patut okayy...hahahaha!!

kedebushh!!

ok good. dah boleh sign in blog macam biasa. sangat wth.

hari ini macam jatuh ditimpa tangga, ditimpa batu bata dan sebagainya.

1. sangat lapar. i ate only roti for breakfast and mihun goreng which i bought early in the morning and ate it at 1pm. dalam ofis dah macam mihun baru keluar peti ais okayy. malam ni tak rasa nak makan cos really not in the mood. tapi kenapa?
2. not in the mood sebab tadi kena marah kat ofis. uwaaaa....it was my mistake and i admitted it. me wrongly calculated the amount and they already printed it and dah tunjuk kat BOD. siapa suruh diorang tak tulis percentage and all that. our job is to do the grading and data entry bukan kira, bukan juga bahagian account.see kan dah menyusahkan ramai pihak?but yeah, the blame was on me (sedih). tapi lepas tu bos beli cheese cake and choc cake yang super2 sedap (bukan act nak pujuk) tapi still i get carried away kena marah but i took it as a challenge and sumpah tak simpan dalam hati, but taula kan, this is my first time on job so...yeah, tengah nak keep it together. professionalism.
3. putra lrt agak wth hari ini. nak masuk, box kad yang kita nak masukkan tu semua rosak kecuali satu je. bayangkan 1000 orang nak masukkan kad, tak ke penuh? masa nak balik pun macam tu jugak. passenger beratur kot sampai atas tangga. and lagi satu, pekerja rapid KL sangat rude. walaupun bukan i primary contact, tapi i pasti kalau dia tinggi suara kat pakcik tu, memang i nak sound die. dah tau job descripiton kau ada connection dengan people/human/ person, jangan nak rude sangatlah. kalau rasa dah tak boleh nak buat customer service, jadi zoo keeper ke ape.kalau my father diorang treat macam tu, sumpah i pegi lawan kat court.
4. demam sebab bahagia sangat pergi dating hari itu. *senyum* tula orang cakap, jangan gembira2 sangat, nanti sedih.

hari isnin dah macam nie. nasib baik rabu cuti raya haji...*senyum*

<>

Ain't No Match

i went for a movie with my bf semalam. he said he wanted to watch megamind, tapikan megamind banyak betul pengaruh illuminati so i macam malas sangat nak tengok. so macam rasa nak tengok life as we know it, tapi macam tak worth it la tengok genre drama for a movie. baik tengok action movie yang cost them like trillion, barula okay.kan?so, unstoppable la jawapan yang kita cari.



called him to buy online ticket. lepas jumpa masa beli popcorn, dia kata he bought the tickets long before i ask him to do so..sweet plak rasa dia buat camtu.. i guess we were sort of having the same idea, signals, wavelength. teehee...but i'm glad.



*senyum*



ok. citer unstoppable memang psycho gila. it's about two trains on the same exact railway and one of them takde driver and bawak hazardous chemical yang boleh letupkan the whole city!!i never thought i was sooo into that movie, you know what i did??i squeezed his hand like mad!!sebab cerita tu panic sangat and the hero is so handsome like im melting (not denzel washington) memang tak sedar i was holding his hand too tight. it was funny and embarassing too sebab selalunya im not the one yang pejam2 mata bila tengok cerita hantu ke, yang terkejut-terkejut bila cerita meletup ke ape, but this movie kan, gosh...terbawak-bawak perasaannya!! bila mood cerita tu dah neutral baru la terperasan betapa kuatnya the squeezing..hahahaha!!



whatever.



malam tu hujan plak. we were hoping to find a malay restaurant which will provide an astro service sebab nak tengok EPL. malangnya takde, and we were so hungry during that time sebab tak lunch yela keluar pukul 3 movie 4.15pm habis dah nak malam, memang dinner terus la. we can't even think about it, i mean tempat nak makan.



bought a caramel frapuccino and headed home. dalam kereta we were having like a political talk, of course bukan pasal politik, tapi lebih kepada how your character behave and response towards certain people. more or less, both of us adalah sama. ha'ah, sama rupenyer kita and perhaps sebab dia adalah lelaki, rationality dia lebih sikit compare to us, perempuan.



anyway, we ate at a new thai restaurant inside a shopping complex. it ain't that expensive but it was not an ordinary dish. tomyam memang sangat terbaik. arrived around 8.30pm and balik around 10pm. to have a not-so-love-talk with him adalah sangat terbaik. i get the chance to know him better. his thoughts and idea.



apa yang terharu sangat ialah his a big fan of football especially the EPL. tapi semalam dia tak kisah pun of not watching the match over our dinner. you know la guys, kalau dah minat certain benda tu, bola selalunya mesti nak pergi tengok. but semalam was "our own sweet time". so, choosing me instead of the match, was really something special and meant a lot to me.


*senyum*


i guess somehow im also important in his life, right?

P.s/: I LOVE YOU.

Work Day #10

ye. itulah kejadian yang berlaku di office tadi di mana both HR and Programme manager sudah datang my office and asked for an updated list of clients from my collegues, tapi satu updated pun diorang tak buat.im not sure whether diorang tak buat or what. gosh!i never (of course) seen such scene and since i was in another boss's room so biarkan jela the other staff kena marah.

me?im a newbie and since these two days i was quite rajin buat kerja, the boss just smile at me and walked away. tadi masa nak punch card the boss yang paling marah tadi boleh senyum jer kat i. see how nice??

*senyum*

actually it was my adhoc job, as i said earlier my job requirement will only be fulfill in January. macam biasa facilitate program tak buat lagi. ape ada hal??

tadi agak letih sebab kena berhadap dengan boss dalam bilik tolong dia. i put my handphone and a bunch of hacks and air mineral atas meja. looking at the phone alternately. my bf pun busy jugak lately (biasala nak tutup akaun akhir tahun) so takde plak die nak kerap sms dengan i. kadang-kadang jer.

*rindu*

oh by the way, last few days i buat kerja of an iran guy, he's the operational exec. so i think im quite good at the task yela asyik buat tu je. came a newbie, and my boss had to explain to her twice before she could understand the whole thing. and had to tunjuk sample templates lagi. my boss tak payah tunjuk sampai habis pun i've already understand the whole thing masa mula-mula buat.

im not saying she's no good, but i'm better.

post ini untuk seseorang yang masih rasa sangsi dengan keupayaan saya..*wink*

hope esok adalah hari yang baik jugak.feel good today. sebab dah mula gain confidence. and i juga dah pandai pick up phone from my boss's table. you know la, yang call my boss sudah pasti the top management and everything. oh tadi i angkat call from media prima. media prima? rasa macam artis pulak.

*gelak*

by the way, kasut putus lalu kat jalan kerikil masa nak amik tatum. sudah pasti sabtu nie beli kasut baru! \(^^)/

Sign in Problems

I've got this problem where everytime i wanted to log in/sign in into this blog account, they asked for verification that requires country of living and handphone number.

semua orang pon verify ke?

i really don't want to type in my handphone number since i know nanti my phone penuh dengan sms iklan and phone call yang tak dikenali nombornya.

so how??

what did i do was, i went over other blogs, and left a comment. because they only requires email and password, and word verification. kenapa pulak nak leave handphone number kan?

tadaa!

senang!

One day to go

trip to singapore will be the perfect gateway. i feel so lonely la kat malaysia nie, cewaahh...tapi tiba-tiba rasa malas jugak nak pergi. prefer to stay at home sorang2, tidur, online, masak italian food, where the rest of my family pergi our vacation home, for a vacation.

since my uncles and atuk-atuk ada kat singapore, and i have (at least) a singaporean blood, so tak salah balik kampung sesekali. cuma without the parents la. i can't even remember rumah diorang sebab selalu dengan parents, kita mengikut jer.

but this time pergi dengan my dear friend and two others. it should be fun, perhaps!!

there's nothing to buy there, sebab sing dolar quite expensive compared tu us. tapi still jugak diorang shopping kat malaysia. what the heck la.

so sekarang tengah cuba letak semangat untuk pack baju.teehee...

ps: mamat singapore hensem2 ke? kalau suara sedap macam taufik batisah pun okay dah.

Adil dan Saksama

Kita hidup ni kena sentiasa adil dan tidak berat sebelah. eh sama maksud, but what the heck la kan.

For example, kita ada kawan dari sekolah rendah, sekolah menengah, kolej, universiti, dan tempat kerja. kita tak boleh la nak berat sebelah dan hanya keluar dan lepak dengan kawan sekolah menengah je, sedangkan dengan kawan dari tempat lain hanya sekali dalam seumur hidup je kita ajak keluar.

kalau keluar pun nak cepat balik. kalau keluar pun nak jumpe sekejap je. contoh lepas tengok movie terus balik. terasa sangat kot . hrmm..i rasa, orang yang berkelakuan macam ni, hanya sebab:

1. dia tak suka anda.
2. dia tak suka lepak dengan anda.
3. bosan keluar dengan anda.
4. membebankan.
5. dia malu keluar dengan anda.

i bukan apa, kalau tak suka dan tak sudi tu, cakaplah awal-awal. i pun bukan terhegeh-hegeh sangat nak keluar dengan diorang pun. senang kalau i tau, next time kalau ada ajak-ajak lepak i cakap je, "thanks but no thanks".

i have my own pride. dua tiga kali boleh la i nak put aside. tapi kalau dah banyak kali, terasa jugak. lagipun sebelum ni, banyak jugak salah silap dah i maafkan. bukan mengungkit, tapi cuma nak rasa dihargai dengan setiap pengorbanan yang kita buat. bukan balasan, tapi penghargaan.

rasa dihargai bukan untuk diminta, tapi pemberian. it's a gift. sebab itu rasa dihargai itu hanya sesetengah orang je yang boleh rasa.

sedih pulak post malam nie. kadang-kadang rasa fed-up sangat. tapi entah lah.

Work Day #1

ok. malas sangat nak cerita panjang-panjang sebab dah mengantuk. ok tipu. sebab nak kena buat revision sikit.

1. ayah hantar at about 7.30am from home. woke up at 6.30am. awal gila memandangkan last night slept at 2.30am.
2. arrived at 8.30am sedangkan office started at 10.00am.
3. waited until 12.00pm only them managed to meet the big boss.
4. big boss hensem sangat dengan mata coklat2 cair. see-tru punye.
5. number one lady also hot. malaysian-indian but looked like french-greek lady.
6. class will be started only on january, so sekarang ad-hoc la macam biasa.
7. balik naik train.
8. masuk office 9.30am, balik lambat sikit la 6.30pm. but it's okay. pergi tak ramai, balik pon tak ramai.

i sound stupid la tonight. bye!

A Self-Starter Kit: Slumber Party

nama taknak ngalah. whatever.

dikala hati tak tenteram, my friend suggested that we should go out and do small reunion between us, good friends. so entah macam mana, i said, "count me in..". since im not that kind of person yang suka go out and jalan-jalan, somehow i just tell myself, "hey girl, go out and have a life la..". so yeah, i keluar jugak.

pakai black short and blue shirt. super comfortable cuma menyesal tak pakai flipflop, mesti lagi super comfortable. there were 4 of us. they picked me up at my house and i brought along a bag with baju tidur and everything in case nak kena overnight at my friend's house.

on the way to the place, kitorang terserempak dengan our own beloved lecturer yang hotstuff gila kat U dulu semua like cair dengan dia sebab he was like super nice and handsome too. jarang orang ponteng his class sebab memang tak stress class dengan dia.so, kitorang stopped our car belakang kereta dia (masa tu x taula kete dia). i know he lives somewhere my house area tapi tak sangka boleh jumpa. kitorang tried to recalled his plat's number and it was totally HIM! we asked my friend who were driving at that time to take over his car and slow down.

bila dah berselisih tu, i turunkan cermin kereta and like waving at him madly and like jerit-jerit "encik L** encik L**!!!!" macam jumpa artis (we really did that!!) and we were laughing like gila-gila bila the looked on his face was like OMG-who-the-fuck-are-they-and-why-they-were-waving-like-mad-at-me, macam tu la lebih kurang.

kat simpang depan traffic light, he stopped his car sebelah kitorang, i thought dia nak marah ke ape sebab sukahati wave2 kat dia, sekali dia cakap, " korang nak pergi mane ar??". and mestila i took the honour jawab soalan dia sama macam kat class dulu (haha!), "nak pegi KL la encik L**. encik L** nak pergi mana?" and bla bla bla. lama jugak borak before lampu turned hijau. kitorang terkejut sangat sebab dia KENAL kitorang. psttt..nasib wife dia takde, wife die cemburu buta kot. kalau i pun, husband hot gila, hensem, baik pulak tu..kan?

anyway, we parked the car kt plaza low yat and walked to berjaya times square and decided to try the indoor theme park. tapi oleh kerana two of them are such a loser (hahaha!) takot nak naik rides, tak jadi la. jalan balik to plaza low yat and go karaoke instead. dari pukul 2pm sampai pukul 6pm kat redbox and with total of rm141.85 sen for four. nyanyi sampai serak-serak dah suara, but it was fun sebab biasa la kitorang, menyanyi nak siap menari naik atas kerusi macam buat konsert sendiri.

lepas tu gerak IKEA. takde ape yang harus dibeli kecuali the curry puff and hotdogs die yang super lazat itu. my friends beli cermin rm20 for 4 pieces and table lamp rm9.90. gila cheap but i know that is not my necessity, it wass lust (haha!). oh, ada some attitude problem di IKEA but tell you later la, bawak negative energy plak.

malam tu ingat nak tengok hobin jang hobin dengan gomo kelate gomo, tapi tak sempat. alangkah ruginya tak dapat tengok si kembar yang hot itu. balik rumah pun dah nak dekat kul 11. sampai rumah my friend, buat pillow talk. two of them tak mandi, and you know la sapa mandi pukul 1 pagi siap bershampoo bagai wangi gila, siap pakai lotion and night cream ni kalau future husband tau ni makin sayang jer dapat bini pembersih kan. ok melalut but yeah, kitorang borak-borak sambil pejam mata (baca: mengantuk).

two of them (yang tidak mandi) dah tidur, dengar sayup-sayup je katenye. me and my other friend continue talking, biasalah takde cerita lain perempuan nie, lelaki-cinta-putus cinta-perangai lelaki yang unpredictable- tukar cinta-tukar boyfriend-kahwin-anak- shopping. dalam 2.30 pagi my friend tutup lampu, rambut i pon dah kering and kitorang pun dah slow. tau-tau dah pagi.

so pagi bangun awal, pastu sambung borak-borak and took a shower at 11am. siap-siap terus pergi plaza masalam. best jugak kat situ okay. my friend amek handphone dia repair and stopped lunch at the chicken rice shop. with rm14.99 each, kenyang nak mati makan. sedap yang amat and perut bagai nak pecah. i ate like suku of the nasi but i habeskan bean sprout diorang. pemalas sayur diorang nie. and sebab ada pai tee lagi la terbaik makan kan. ingat nak ajak my super gorgeous baik hati boyfriend (baca:ampu) makan kat situ weekend nie.

then we went to sunway pyramid. oh rite, kat sunway pyramid ada satu kedai japan, memang totally all the stuff from japan, and semua stuff die cuma berharga RM5. i repeat RM5. memang rambang mata macam nak beli semua. so i bought two cat's collars untuk sagitarius and jacky, and a blusher. dah la blusher dia nampak mahal. tak try lagi but i chose beige. santek.

my friend dropped me at abdullah hukum lrt station and terus balik rumah. dalam pukul 6.30 sampai, ayah fetched me. supposely keluar dengan encik boyfriend, tapi dia demam. kesian sangat kat dia. tanya dia nak i datang ke bawak some hot soup ke ape, dia kate tak payah sebab dia tak larat nak bangun. risau sangat kat dia. hopefully he's doing fine. esok kerja plak tu. mintak-mintak dia sihat lepas tidur malam nie.

so there goes my weekend! lepas konvo bulan 12 ni, we are planning to go to port dickson. hopefully jadik la. yeay!!

Hari Berjimba : Belum Post-Mortem

sempat lagi menaip. bukan apa, janji pukul 11, pukul 10 dah siap (baca: punctual), so sambil tunggu-tunggu sambil bukak internet. ape lagi perkara berfaedah macam baca buku, baca surat khabar, kemas rumah, pergi jogging ke, selain surfing the internet??

sendiri fikir.

anyway, hari ni rasa-rasa nak buat slumber party la kat rumah budak-budak tu. perlu ke bawa perwarna kuku, facial equipment segala? bantal-bantal comel berbentuk hati dak berwarna pink?oh, dulu saya pernah dapat bantal strawberry masa bakal mak-mertua saya belikan masa diorang cuti kat cameron highland dulu. cool gila kan bakal mak-mertua saya? sebab tu saya sayang dia sangat-sangat.

ok, sedih pulal tiba-tiba teringat bakal mak-mertua..T_T

saya sudah pack baju. setakat baju tidur satu seperti seluar snoopy dan baju untuk balik keesokkan harinya. macam tak kerja plak kau kan keluar hari ahad bagai. duit pun dah bawak. tak banyak tapi cukupla nak beli topup rm10 tiga puluh kali. yela, nanti bawa sikit-sikit, tak cukup takkan nak pinjam kawan kot? ni pun dah duit pinjam dari mak ayah..teehee..

oh oh, before i end up this conversation, malam ni tengoklah Mari Menari, kot-kot nampak saya. yang pasti saya bukanlah penarinya...kakaka.. ape kejadahnye la pergi tempat-tempat macam tu. don't ask me, ask my friend. beriya ajak kami ni. i never been to any of live show except theatre. so this will be my first experience. mesti gelabah badak je diorang-diorang yang pergi. i macam biasa, cool. tapi kalau dah nampak afdlin shauki ke, fahrin ahmad ke, aaron aziz ke, melompat jugak la.

*gelak*

selain itu, boleh jugak cari-cari bakal suami. we never know right?jodoh di tangan Allah. kalau dah bercinta lama-lama tapi tak ke mana, pun fikir sendiri. orang kalau dah tak sudi, angkatlah kaki yer. heyp heyp, bukan saya, orang lain la. saya kan pencinta setia. walau ditinggal begitu sahaja pun, cinta tetap dan sentiasa ada kat sini..*tunjuk hati*. see??

hey cinta, pergi mana?lama tak jumpa..rindulaaaaa....teehee...=)

ps: dari shah alam ke KL bape lama??takkan sampai 3 jam kott...dusshhh!

Calling for all Ibu(s)

Kalau esok-esok ni i kahwin, lepas 9 bulan dapat baby, kira bunting pelamin la kan, i nak anak i panggil i IBU. i repeat IBU.

walaupun kata ganti diri ketiga i - 'mama' (jangan tanya kenapa mama), still i nak anak-anak i yang gemok, putih dan debab itu panggil i IBU.

kenapa IBU? kenapa tak mama, mommy, or bonda??

kalaulah pulak my baby tu lelaki, alangkah sejuknya perut i bila dia panggil i ibu sebab..

bayangkan kat sekolah gangster gila, main rugby pulak tu, ketua pengawas sekolah, or masuk MCKK ke, or RMC ke siap dengan baju NO.3 ke, jumpa-jumpa i, jerit IBU siap peluk ciom semua.

comel gila kot!!

i rasa awek-awek hot pon boleh cair kalau dengar anak i yang berbadan sasa, bermain rugby dan memakai baju NO.3 tu panggil i IBU. walaupun muka tak berapa nak hensem, kan?

oh, panggilan BONDA pon masih di considerate kan.

*senyum*

ps: ni la padahnya bila baca blog orang dah kahwin. ahh..tak pedulik!

To be with someone special

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch and swing with,

never say a word,

and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had. "

sometimes, the only thing that i want is for you to be here.

Forgive and Forget

something bad happened to me. it makes me wonder, why i am still here?? why i am still here, waiting patiently, where all that i've got is hurt?? am i too nice or just being a plain stupid? i don't have the answer, really i don't. but all that i care, is to be here, to be here every second and every moment. i hope my loyalty pays off.only that matters to me.

people deserve second chance. i repeat. people deserve second chance. hear me talking? yeah. but how about people who still wants another chance after doing the same mistakes over and over again? do we, the people who will forgive them deserve to be treated the same way, over and over again?

don't we deserve a second chance after being treated that way?
don't we deserve to be love and live happily ever after?

i still believe in what Allah said, " be good to people and people will treat you good". and Dia sendiri akan balas semua perbuatan baik kita. i know nowadays, kalau kita berbuat baik kat orang, belum tentu orang itu akan berbuat baik pada kita. since kiamat dah dekat, lebih ramai lagi manusia bertopengkan baik, tapi hatinya busuk, kotor dan penuh hasad dengki.

but i CHOSE to live this way. by being nice to people, by trying to see the good side of every person, give a good impression, and forgive people for what every mistakes that they did. i know, someday they realize that they were so wrong and hopefully they will change.

contoh, by being a setia girlfriend, doesn't mean your boyfriend will setia at you back. but deep inside we know, we have done something good and don't do wrong. we are not the one who ruin the relationship. it is better than being the perempuan who chasing after many guys, isn't it? and hopefully the boyfriend will realized that his own girlfriend love him so much that no one could ever done something good and sweet like that.

*senyum*

im no good. but whenever i have the chance to do something GOOD, i will go for it. whenever i have the chance TRYING to be good, hell yeah i'm gonna try it.

for the person who may concern, i forgive you if you read this. i forgive all the things that you ever done to me. i want to start a new life and a new day with a new book. im not very sure if you want to be in that book, but im pretty sure that i want you in my life. things are going crazy but right now i've already put it aside and let it go. im just hoping it will not happen again.

yes, i am trying (very hard) to start to believe and to trust. one more time.

*senyum meleret-leret*

ps: mood baik lepas PMS and new work awaits...ka-ching! \(^^)/

Watching TV always be my half-full cup of tea.

Kita ada 3 series of CSI:

1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2. CSI New York
3. CSI Miami

Dalam banyak-banyak series nie, yang paling i suka adalah CSI Miami.

Kenapa??

Sebab ade Horatio. masa mula-mula tengok dia berlakon cam rasa nak sepak-sepak jer kebelagakkan dia, tapi dah banyak kali tengok rasa macam 'oh wow'. lagipun cerita dia lebih direct, senang faham, gambar cantik (kalau tukar astro beyond mesti lagi cantik), and mamat hot berlakon, as usual.

Tapi simply because, setiap kali tengok AXN, memang CSI Miami je yang ada. tak taula si CSI: Crime Scene Investigation dengan CSI New York pegi mana. jarang-jarang jer dapat tengok.

Sekarang i am trying to develop my interest untuk tengok TV. walaupun sepatutnya interest tengok TV adalah ke arah berita semasa, forum perdana, al-kuliyyah dan sebagainya, tapi i would like to pupuk dulu minat ke arah TV. watching TV by tengok cerita yang boleh mendatangkan minat.

minat tengok sekarang adalah:

1. Top Chef / Diva
2. Amazing Race Asia / AXN
3. The Kardashian / E
4. Cinta Kirana / Ria
5. Disney Movie / Disney
6. Anime / Animax

cukup lah tu. walaupun kadang-kadang tak tau pukul berapa the show on air, tapi boleh la sekadar mengisi masa lapang. esok dah ada duit, for sure beli buku baru. i don't care.

*senyum*

Mungkin Pasti

Kalaulah boleh dilukis dan ditulis dengan kata-kata perasaan saya sekarang ini, mahu tidak berhentinya hujan, mahu tidak matahari memancar, mahu tidak burung berkicau, mahu tidak laut berhenti bergelora. gelap, mendung.

Tapi tidak ada satu kata pun yang boleh menggambarkannya. hanya Allah Tuhan yang Satu itu yang Maha mengetahui segala. dan semua yang terjadi sudah pasti akan kehendakNya. mungkin Tuhan yang sayangkan hambaNya ini ingin memperjelas pandangan mata hati yang kabur kerana cinta. mungkin.

mungkin cinta itu sudah tidak bermakna lagi.

mungkin cinta itu sudah tiada lagi.

mungkin.

Few of Many Things That I Like..

Since i'm strike with boredom, thus im occupied myself with reading (from the internet) and yes, blogging. this is one of many ways to do something usefull (or act macam sibuk sangat). menyesal pulak tak siap-siap ikot ayah keluar tadi. dengar macam nak pergi pavillion.

T_T

anyway, let's get started people,39 things that i like :

1. money. because when i have the money, i have the power of purchasing and thus i feel sorta like i have all the power in the world. with money i can go where ever that i want, and buy anything that i need. the only money that i get with my own sweat was about early this year where i worked and gained rm179.75 cent. the rest is of course, parent's money.
2. make-up. i have tons of them which some of them tak pernah guna pun. some were gifts from friends and family, some beli sendiri, and some curi from my mother.i have all kinds of range from foundation, corrector, mineral powder to gloss and lipstick. but yeah, the things that i use are only the basics.
3. black, red, and hot pink. now im trying to love white. i think white is sexy.
4. cooking and baking. but it depends on the mood. once i baked a banana caked with only 4 pieces left of banana, it was a success. and it was my first attempt.=)
5. cleaning my room or house. i want things to be organized, tak suka sepah-sepah sebab akan pening and moody. moody to myself because too lazy to kemas.
6. tomyam. man i love this unique thailand's dish! pernah makan tomyam 5 hari berturut-turut and stil never gets tired with tomyam. my favorite is seafood tomyam.
7. and it goes better with ikan siakap 3 rasa. although this dish is a lil bit pricey (rm25++), but whatever kalau dah sedap makan jela. anything (food) below rm50 is consider as not cheap, but okay-la. but depends on the restaurant.
8. hot food. yang pedas-pedas sahaja. anything yang pedas selalunya berjaya sedap. kan?=)
9. anything sweet. juices, cake, chocolate, bun.
10. mamak food. roti canai, tosai, but not capati, nasi kandar. ate capati only once in my life.
11. carbonated drinks.
12. basuh kereta, especialy bila dilanda musibah. it keeps me sane. and plus, Tatum looks cleaner and handsome too.=)
13. karoke. and sing like a mad person. oh yeah, pergi karoke kena menyanyi penuh perasaan dan kesumbangan. you will feel good.
14. handbags. i dont have many, i have only like 50 bags but my room dah takde tempat nak simpan. and my handbags selalunya dijaga rapi. masuk dalam dust bag and masuk dalam paper bag.
15. romantic movies/stories. i always put myself in the play and mula berangan. my favourite are The Notebook, Ps I Love You, and....
16. parfume. I love to death Miracle by Lancome. masuk nie dah 3 kali beli, only the 3rd time i asked my mom to buy for herself, which you know la later it was mine. now im using Jadore by Christian Dior and Rockstar by Anna Sui. tak banyak tapi cukup untuk mewangikan badan. preparing to buy Gucci Rush 2.
17. rose clippers. hair accessories. i love rose, big flowers on my head. especially red and white.rasa macam kat caribbean island pulak.
18. fries from McD.
19. heels. love heels but tak boleh guna cuma beli sahaja, because im quite a tall person and bila pakai like 4inch heels pon dah macam KLCC bergerak.
20. hanging out with friends. tapi sekarang semua dah jauh-jauh.T_T
21. swimming.
22. travelling. preparing, saving and planning to go london. maybe on honeymoon.
23. hugging and kissing.. it's one of the way of showing your love.hug and kiss your loves one whenever you can.
24. sleeping in an airconditioned room with thick warm blanket when its pouring rain outside. and it's 12.00pm. gosh...
25. being in love and loved by someone. it's the best feelings one could get..=)
26. driving while listening to love songs..=)
27. helping people. with all the powers that i have, i will help as far as i could get my hands on.
28. uniform. polis, bomba, askar, pilot, navy, anything that wears uniform always and will always catch my attention. sexy people!
29. dress, skirts, mini skirts are always my favour.
30. sleeping. oh my...(guilty)
31. indonesian songs. puitis, menusuk kalbu, and sedap.
32. baju kurung and kebaya.
33. people who are sensitive enough to realized what had happen in their surroundings.
34. gadjets. mobile phone, computers, PDA, music player. if only i have lots of money.
35. weddings. lagi-lagi time akad nikah, kita yang bukan family pun ikot nangis. sebab i know people who get married are those yang betul-betul falling in love..kan?plus ayam masak merah memang terbaik.
36. the smell of gasoline bila tengah isi fuel kereta. wow sungguh.
37. smart tag. life is getting easier isn't it?
38. family. the one and only.
39. people who are good hearted.

ok now rasa sangat lapar and nak masak since i dont eat anything from morning and now is like 4.00pm so selamat tinggal boredom!!

*gelak2*

ps: learn when you know nothing.

Entah

Ku tahu, kau selingkuh
Kau duakan cintaku yang tulus
Kau tahu, diriku
Tak pernah berpaling dari dirimu
Tega nya kau dustai semua
Janji kita berdua

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu..

Tak pernah ku bayangkan
Cerita kita berakhir begini
Tega nya kau dustai semua
Janji kita berdua

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu..

Masihkah ada,
Cinta dihati ini
Dihati kecilku berharap kau masih bagian dari hidupku

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu


by Afgan

QUick QUack

I thought of watching Life as What it is-i bet it was a cute movie tapi since seat paling comfortable dah takde, 3 row in front of the screen pulak, batal- tengok You Again. Since this movie, hollywood jugak dah mula bagi jalan cerita yang kita semua boleh predict. tapi tak dinafikan ada part-part yang sangat hillarious. if you are too rich, you better watch this movie. and if you are not, simpan duit untuk filem action hollywood, yang ada 3D, lagi worth it.

came home to abg's condo at about 12am. pretty tired and mata dah rabak. but it was all worthwhile because im enjoying my day to the max. tapi perut sangat2 lapar sebab lupa nak makan malam. i bought 6 pieces of big apple'd donut tapi tak makan pun. rasa nak makan nasi paprik, or tomyam, or sup tulang. forced myself to sleep.

hari ni pergi ke langat tengok my cousin's new house. its a kampung house with a slight modern touch. community melayu but somehow i feel welcomed. rumah dia cantik and i bet bila dah masuk sofa and everything lagi wow. but yeah, being me, ceiling umah dia rendah and it's like 10cm kipas nak cecah kepala. gotta be extra careful.

balik rumah around 6pm, terus mandikan tatum. he's in the mess (padahal baru mandi last week). busuk dah. and like 20minutes mandikan dia, he was all good. putih suci berseri.

so now i want to take a bath and prepare for a next interview. and that's my quick update!!

position

malam ni takde story yang menarik.

this morning went for an interview but the big boss keluar meeting plak and i had to wait from 11am to 2pm. luckily the boss called and cakap a few promises thing but you know i dont want to put high expectation (damn i really love that job!), so gonna meet him again (3rd time in a row okay gila gigih!) esok. seriously kalau tak dapat jugak, subang here i come!!

T_T jauhhhh..

oh, i have this one bad habit where i LOVE to sleep with my face on the pillow, senang cerita jawa, tidur telungkup atau tidur meniarap. feels like heaven okay, lagi-lagi bila tangan dah masuk bawah bantal sejuk lembut jer.

but then i came across a few articles, especially in ISLAM, tidur meniarap sangat tak bagus, sebab tidur meniarap menutup pintu rezeki and which i learned that tidur menghadap kiblat dan mengiring ke kanan adalah PALING BAIK (tidur tak himpap jantung maksudnye tu). so mulai malam ini, tidur saya adalah melentang atau menghadap kiblat dan ke kanan.

i remember ada someone close to my heart, dia tidur melentang, kaki crossing, dan tangan di dahi.isn't that cute!!!???*wink2* orang kata, posisi tidur macam ni, orangnya berpandangan jauh. yeke??

tau kenapa nak tukar posisi. sebab any things that i do, such as reading, watching TV or movies, FB, blog, surfing, i do it while meniarap. and hari ni sakit pinggang la plak. mungkin itu sebab nyer. now saya tak boleh bend even to wash my face. luckily sinki toilet tinggi.

ps: asyik senyum-senyum je dua tiga hari ni. kenapa?

Kapal is not actually a boat.

life pretty hettic sekarang nie. banyak interviews yang kena attend. i feel so tired sebab the preparation before the interview perlu banyak masa dan komitmen. anyway, of all the interviews, i got two job offers, which im still considerating whether to take it or not. and takot jugak nak decline the offer.

oh, bukan job dubai tu. job dubai tu manager dia belom balik dari oversea sebab she promised to call me after she arrives here. and yet i haven't receive any call from her or the company. jangan hoping lebih-lebih, kang tak dapat-kecewa.

tomorrow i've got another interview, a position that i really want. gaji ok, sangat dekat, dan ada career development if you know what i mean. i went to the place tadi, and they asked me to come again tomorrow. so, kena buat extra prep lagi.isn't that nice?

*senyum*

semalam pergi dating kat jalan TAR for the first time after so many years. oh thanks to him by the way *senyum* i told him that im not that kind of girl yang jalan panas sikit tak boleh asyik nak pergi shopping complex jer beraircond bagai. walaupun semestinya lebih sejuk dan selesa, but sometimes we do need a 'fresh air', aite?barang yang dicari tak dapat, keropok lekor, air sirap cincau, dan manisan india susu-my-favo, dan coconut candy yang dapat. thank you for all yer awak, sedap!

later that night we went for a romantic dinner kat kapal. it is really a kapal, only that it cannot move. yeah, we have some serious talked, and later came out with our own solution and agreement. so kata persetujuan dah dicapai, tinggal action sahaja.

*senyum*

ate a few lamb chops and drank fruit juices, then we were good to go. afterall esok (today) adalah hari kerja so tak baik la lambat-lambat.

life is about making choices. it's neither right nor wrong.

ps: thank you for all the treats..especially the indian candy! and tolong ingat jalan nak pegi the ship.

Once in a Life

have you ever think of leaving everything behind, and start a new life in a new place? i don't know about you guys, but i sometimes did thought about that. well, it wasn't actually that you are trying to run and leave your problem behind, but this is regarding your no-solution problem, especially when it comes to heart problem (no medicinal intention on that) .

lagi-lagi bila kita rasa tak dihargai, kita feel lost, rasa macam nak pack barang and start a new life. kan? bila diri kita tak diperlukan lagi, give me one good reason why we have to wait for it to happen?takde reason right. we do anything we could but what do we get? nothing. bukan tak tahu, cuma taknak amik tahu, taknak tahu.

anyway, i got an interview offer with one of the international company , have 60 outlet throughout the world (ok ini info dapat masa dia call tadi..hehe). dia cakap if i'll be the one yang dia cari, she said i better pack my things and followed her working in the middle-east, mane lagi kalau bukan DUBAI.

mula-mula i was thinking taknak kerja jauh dari rumah. kerja kat subang pun dah kira jauh okay. but bila bad things macam nie happen, mulalah rasa nak buat bersungguh-sungguh untuk interview nanti. bersungguh sangat where i WILL do some research, on the company, the position they offered, and also what will be my contribution to them.

dubai okay. once in a life chances. i say we go for it!

ps: cross fingers, research, sembahyang hajat.

Rezeki Allah

Betul la orang cakap. rezeki itu ada je kat mana-mana untuk kita. cuma dengan berkat usaha dan doa sahaja, dan bagi orang yang rajin, rezeki itu akan datang bergolek-golek atas arahan dan kehendak yang Maha Esa.

begitu juga pasal berkahwin. itu semua rezeki dan jodoh. kalau bercinta bagai nak arwah pun, kalau dah ditakdirkan rezeki dia bukan suami kita, nak buat lagu mana?? ada juga yang hanya kenal sehari dua, kalau dah Allah kata dia itu suami kita, tetap juga dia. bukan Sheikh Muzafar. okay, itu hanya penambahan.

kalau saya nak berkahwin pun, hanya pada tahun 2011. kalau lambat dari itu, saya rasa lebih baik saya berangkat ke London. memang itu je tanah tumpah darah ku. seorang diri sambil bermain salji ketika musim sejuk. what do you care?

*gelak*

Oh, kita bukan nak cakap pasal saya yang nak berkahwin. lambat lagi. bertunang pun belum ape kejadahnya nak cerita pasal kahwin. siapa nak kahwin, silakan. sebab nanti bila saya kahwin, kawan-kawan saya suma dah ada babies. bila dah ada babies, mesti mereka sangat comel, macam pengantin (saya).

*gelak*

sebenarnya saya cuma nak cakap, betapa gembiranya saya bila...hish, takpelah. saya rasa sambung entry esok ke, esok malam ke. it is too fast to tulis kat sini pun. excited lebih la awak nie.

anyway, saya sebenarnya jatuh cinta lagi dengan lelaki yang sering memberi headache kat saya. i just can't get rid of him. tengok dia swimming je hari tu, rasa penuh je kasih sayang saya kat dia. ye, saya tak swim sebab malas. dia buat freestyle je laju gila, lawan gaya frog pun dia laju. dia dah suruh saya pegi half kolam pon dia still laju.

so kalau dah asyik- asyik kalah je, saya decided nak duduk je kat tangga pool sambil tengok dia berenang. sambil-sambil tu saya fikir la pasal masa depan. is he the one for me? itu saya tak boleh jawab. hanya berserah kepada Allah je supaya limpahkan kurnia dan rezeki bercinta ni kat kami, i mean like for forever. just simply because i love him so much.

in conclusion, ini bukan entry pasal cinta. pasal lain sebenarnya, tapi nanti la kita update lain.

*senyum*

teehee.....

ps: tiga bijik datang bergolek. sudah pasti bukan buah langsat.

My cup of tea

Tempat: MY house
Masa : 9.00pagi

lelaki : " selamat pagi. boleh saya bercakap dengan F***h **i***n??"
me : "ye saya bercakap." (mengantuk)

lelaki : " F***h **i**n, alamat No *** Jalan ****....betul?"
me: "hrm. betul la tu. kenapa?"

lelaki : " kitorang nak hantar bunga la. ada kat rumah tak?"
me: " ada tapi sekarang saya nak keluar bang.hantar sekarang boleh ke?"

lelaki: " 9.30?tak sempat ni kak.."
me : " yeke?ermm...kedai kat mana nie?" (dalam hati rasa nak letak je phone takot gotcha call ke ape)

lelaki: "seputeh, bangsar.."
me: " hantar kat midvalley boleh? saya dah on the way ke sana la.."

lelaki : "boleh kalau akak tak kisah.."
me: "ha, kenapa plak?besar sangat ke bunga dia?"

lelaki: "besar tak besar la kak. ada 12 kuntum."
me: "takpela, nanti saya call balik la arrange delivery. saya nak call nombor mana eh?"

lelaki: "no nie jela kak.."
me: "ok. terima kasih yer.."
lelaki: "same2 kak.."

(letak phone. masih blurr)

Tempat: dalam kereta otw to Mid.

me: "ayah, ada orang nak deliver bunga, siapa plak yang kasi yah?" (gelak2 malu)
ayah: "galang kot.." (im a big fan of randy pangalila)
me: "wahhh..kalau galang sekarang jugak kita pergi indon pinang galang yah.."
ayah:" perasan. bf kamu la yang hantar, siapa lagi.."

Tempat : Midvalley
Masa : 10.45pagi

lelaki: " kak, macam mana bunga nie?"
me: "erm..hantar esok bole ke bang?"

lelaki: "bunga tu dah buat kak..."
me: "yer?takpela..hantar jela kat midvalley nie. saya tunggu.."

lelaki: "dalam midvalley ke?"
me: "ha'ah..tunggu depan McD boleh?"

lelaki : "McD kat belah mana kak?"
me: "dekat GSC tue..wayang.."
lelaki : "ok kak. jumpa sana. bye.."

after 30minutes..
SMS : " kak, saya dah sampai.."

the bouquette is so beatiful. ada 12 kuntum red roses, sangat wangi, dan sangat mekar. and i saw a yellow card in between the flowers. so i opened it.

(nak tulis tapi malu la..but it was so sweet feels like melting dah hati ni..)


takde nama siapa-siapa pon kat situ. so i wondered siapa la yang bagi. i had a fight with my bf, memang tak terfikir pon dia, because he was like so mad at me. and i was like double mad at him.

so i called him and he was like malu-malu.mula-mula dia tak mengaku dia hantar, lepas tu i dengar dia gelak-gelak. and i was like lagi malu sebab semalam macam marah sangat but tadi macam dah malu-malu suara jadi menggedik sikit cakap "thank you..i love the flowers so much.." kat dia.


*gelak*


well, i did underestimated him. he did gave me flowers a few times tapi seriously tak sangka dia nak delivered bunga sebab last night fight was devastated to me. i gues this is one of his way of telling how sorry he was, for everything i pressumed.


my ex bf told me that i am lucky enough to have him (my bf) sebab dia sangat sabar orangnya. even he (the ex) said that dia sendiri tak tahan dengan perangai i, and that is the reason why we broke off dulu. and he said i should think deeply that after so many years, he (my bf) still love me and stays by me.


hrm...i guess i should be thankful. but you know la, guys kan unpredictable and very annoying sometimes. my bf, ergghhhh....i dont why but i just love him to death despite what he had done to me. i really love him, and many people didn't know that. but i know my bf knows about it. he should know that i really love him.


anyway sayang, if you read this, thank you for the flowers. sangat2 terkejut but i love it so much. mama terus jeles lepas balik office tadi and mula cari gaduh dengan ayah kenapa dia x dapat bunga. dia kata bf saya romantik. *gelak*


im sorry for these past few weeks. i know i never been a good gf to you and selalu marah-marah. but i love you and i wanted to say how sorry i am. we learn from mistakes, don't we? thank you for always be there for me. terima kasih jugak sebab terima saya seadanya saya.


walaupun dah terlambat 3 hari, still i want to wish you happy 6th year and 8months of our anniversary. i love you and forever i will.


*senyum*

How to not feel like a Loser?

When you feel like macam semua benda tak kena, what do you do?

if i were under pressure, a big one, i always put myself to cry. it's one of my way to heal myself, my heart respectively. so, i've been crying a lot lately, just to cast away a few pressureness of myself.

another way is to listen to a song or many songs, and please choose the most devastated, kira macam lagu yang paling buruk yang buat kita rasa a bit better than that song. i mean nasib kita lebih baik sikit dari lirik lagu tu, then you won't feel that sorry for yourself.

then, i will start to compare myself, my situations and my problems if any, to any person revolving around me yang could have been slightly had the worst situation and problem, then i will feel better.

for example, that person has bought a fairlady warna putih at my age, i feel so envy. than i will start comparing myself to a person who has to take rakit just to go to kedai runcit next door. kesian kan?contoh la.

anyway, tadi took my car jalan-jalan sekitar taman. drivers behind my car mesti pissed off gila sebab i drove like lagi lambat dari siput, just because i was thinking about what's happening to me right now, im crying while driving, talking to myself on how to solve that problem, start comparing myself with others. ingat tadi nak drive-through McD, but yeah traffic agak teruk and fuel was like ada 2 bars je, so malas nak isi minyak, i just drove home.

Soalan Utama:

Kalau kita mengharap akan sesuatu untuk terjadi, tapi ia tak terjadi, apa yang akan kamu buat?

1. lupakan saja hasrat dan harapan itu dan mulakan hidup baru.
2. berusaha sampai menjadi kenyataan walaupun anda telah berusaha selama lebih dari bertahun-tahun.
3. tidak mulakan hidup baru dan masih mengharap.
4. redha dan berserah dengan ketentuan Allah untuk ia tak terjadi (tidak berharap sangat).
5. redha dan berserah dengan ketentuan Allah untuk ia jadi (berharap).

you can also leave any other answers/ questions. pandangan masing-masing kan?i just have some thoughts in my mind.

*senyum*

Review Muzikal Tun Mahathir

Tarikh : 6 Oktober 2010
Masa : 8.30pm - 1.00am
Tempat : Istana Budaya, Kuala Lumpur

If you are not a big fan of the superior genius person, Tun Mahathir Mohamad, you should watch this theatre musical, so that you could be one of his many fans.

*gelak*

anyway, it started off nicely in the beginning, a little shaky in the middle, and "oh wow.." (in a good way) towards the end of the show. untuk bukan peminat seni yang obsesi seperti saya, tentu ini adalah bukan review yang terbaik untuk anda baca. sekadar menggunakan review ini untuk meletakkan your personal expectation, boleh la.

*senyum*

scene2 yang menarik adalah dari permulaan show iaitu ketika Che Det dilahirkan, sampailah Che Det berkahwin dengan the cutest Dr Siti Hasmah. masa dia jadi doktor. tak ingat berapa lama scene itu, tapi a few hours jugaklah that part, memang sangat tak boring. seronok sangat feels like nak dancing plak kat situ.

bagi peminat politik, second part of the show where Che Det dah entered politics, the bloodbath scene, resignation of his deputies and many more, maybe could catch your attention. for me yang sangat tak minat sejarah, this one is not my cup of tea. sekadar tengok dan well, actually bagus jugak la sebab there are a few things yang i tak tau pun pasal Che Det and his contribution. informasi itu penting.

lepas tue masuk scene Che Det punya contributions. Proton, Sepang, KLIA, KLCC, Putrajaya dan etc semua dipaparkan. kan dah cakap dia nie genius?siapa lagi yang boleh buat infrastruktur sebaik dia?ada tapi tak sebaik dia. masa ni rasa sangat berkobar-kobar nak berjaya macam dia.

*senyum*

last part paling hebat. started off dengan scene Che Det letak jawatan masa perhimpunan UMNO tahun 2003 tak silap (malas nak google). sedih gila. masa nie scene Che Det dipujuk oleh ramai menteri video, continue lagi dengan Dr Siti Hasmah pujuk dia. it was a very sad moment. i even heard a few people yang dah menangis belah row depan2 and belakang2. me?urmm....sedih jugak, but not strong enough to force me to cry. hee..tapi seriously memang sedih.

out of 5 bintang, i give 4 and half. so what is wrong with another half of the stars?

1. bagi satu watak kepada dua orang (zizan nin & esma daniel) adalah susah untuk bagi standing ovation kat mana-mana pun, unless at the end of the show korang cakap "zizan nin dan esma daniel sebagai Tun Mahathir!!". barulah boleh.
2. masa part mula scene Tun letak jawatan sampailah Dr. Siti Hasmah (erra fazira) pujuk Tun (esma) adalah sangat2 sedih dan nearly made me cry, and ada jugak yang dah menangis. at the end of that scene, erra nyanyi. that was totally strike out!!erra menanyi cepat sangat while kitorang nye mood masih lagi dalam sedih. the lagu not sedih enough ok (agak catchy although it was a sad song). i hope that masa Tun pegi, the light is dim and off dalam 30secs, barulah kemudian start scene nyanyi. mesti superb!!
3. and parking kat Istana Budaya half of it was closed. i just don't get it.

selections of actors (if that's what you called them) adalah bagus, mantap, dan tepat. esma daniel adalah pilihan tepat. i am so thankful it was not jalaluddin hassan if not, i taknak pergi pun. zizan nin pun sangat tepat. DUA SUDU darah pakistan ade la dekat zizan, so it was a good choice.haha..erra was not bad jugak. dia cantik sangat.

so, for those yang tak tengok lagi, this show is extend until the 9th October 2010. i recommend this theatre musical sebab it reminds us of who we are and what's left for us now. siapa yang benci dia, you should watch this yourself, look from his perspective. and for Tun's fans, kita doakan agar beliau sihat dan dipanjangkan umur. as you said, we still need him.

ps: next on the list- Muzikal Teater Kampung Boy by Lat.

Remembering The Last Moment

Remember the last time when you hold my hand?
it was tight and enough to keep me warm. and i love it.
i love the way you hold my hand.
i love the feeling when your fingers running through mine.

Remember the last time when you smell my perfume on my neck?
it was so close i can feel the warm of your breath.
i always have this goosebump whenever you are close.

Remember the last time when your nose tickles mine?
I love it everytime you try to kiss me.
It was short and sweet.
But it always pull me to have you more.

Remember the last time when your skin brushes mine?
I always push myself closer to you.
To feel you more.
To have you more.

And your lips.
It was red, tender, and sweet.
To kiss you is like a gift from the heaven.
I can never get enough of your kisses.

To love you, means to have you.
And i have to have you,
Simply because i love you.

ps: charlie st cloud. watch it and you'll get what is this all about..teehee..=)

Hari Mimpi

hari ni suppose untuk jadi :

1. hari yang paling bahagia.
2. hari yang paling happy.
3. hari yang paling mengada-mengada.
4. hari yang paling nakal-nakal.
5. hari yang paling bukan diri sendiri.
6. hari yang paling seronok untuk ingat hari-hari nakal yang lepas.
7. dan hari yang penuh kasih sayang.

*senyum*

tapi itu semua kenangan. kenangan yang penuh dengan gelak tawa, suka dan duka.

semalam adalah satu hari yang tak tidur sampai ke subuh. tiba-tiba terlelap. dan pukul 7 pagi terbangun sambil air mata tak henti-henti mengalir.

mengalir kerana mimpi semalam yang penuh emosi. mimpi sampai menangis hingga ke alam realiti.

*diam*

ps: selamat hari cinta. and i still madly deeply in love with you sampai ke hujung nyawa.

Harapan Cuma

bila kita letakkan sesuatu harapan yang SANGAT tinggi pada sesuatu benda, atau pada seseorang, kita tend to wait for it to happen like every second of the day. and yet bila sesuatu itu tidak terjadi, kita macam gedebush golek jatuh ke bawah, ke tempat yang paling dalam dan gelap.

for a less stronger people, menangis la ubat penahannya. untuk seketika sahaja.sampai bengkak-bengkak mata. sampai takde suara. sampai di setiap hujung kata itu ada sedu sedannya.

*diam*

tipula kalau kata i don't even have a hope for something. i have. and it is a lot. ada sekali tu, bila tak dapat ape yang diinginkan, i feel like i want to die. tapi..entahlah. takde la sampai nak bunuh diri. i mean, i REALLY wanted to die, tapi biarla malaikat maut cabut sendiri, bukan i ask for it to come.

*senyum*

and this time it happen again. i wish and i prayed a lot for it to happen (ok mungkin tak cukup sembahyang ke doa ke ape), but it didn't happen. it's more like a turning point, where everything yang i ada, sekarang dah takde. it is gone. and i don't think it will come back.

and yes. i feel like i WANTED to die, and yes i cried a lot, and yes di setiap hujung kata-kata itu ada sedu sedannya. and it HURTS so so so much rasa macam nak cabut segala hati, sendi, urat yang ada.

lagi-lagi bila sudah ada bunyi-bunyi nyanyian sumbang yang bermain disekeliling. tidakkah mereka faham? atau mereka sudah punya segala lalu dilontar rasa tidak puas hati itu kepada orang yang less fortunate?

oh hati dan nyawa, bersatulah untuk jadi lebih kuat untuk hari-hari yang datang. bila dunia sudah tidak mahukan kita, pasti ALLAH itu sentiasa ada untuk kita. kan?

*senyum*