What did i do wrong?

What did i do wrong?

Soalan yang keep on haunting me kalau i rasa things are not the way it suppose to be. Things that are not going to the place it should go. and i was so scared that things will never go to where i suppose it should be. confusing much? so do i.

What did i do wrong?

i have no answer. i have been searching for it for as long as i know but yet i didnt have the answer. i was scared. i really am. scared of things yang i tak tau ...like what will happen. i feel like im all alone doing this BIG thing. trying so hard to ensure that it will not fall down.

What did i do wrong?

maybe i feel like people will not betray me. people will always be kind to me, and treat me with respect and attention.

maybe at this time only i realized that i was actually did something wrong. i let people do exactly what they like, i let people do things that they are not suppose to do, i let my emotion over powered my critical thinking, i let love (if you read my blog you will know that i am person who have so much love for the people that i love, so much that i sometimes forgot to love my own self) keep me away from reality. i let people take me for granted.

for so many times.

and now i know i have to do something. but what is it? but how?

Quickie!

it's been a very long time since i last post an entry here. well, life has been good but i am really really busy like there is not time even to look at the instagram. hahaha... that is how busy i am. kat instagram bukan stalk other people's life okay, but more to online shopping...hahaha...

what should i update here?

my master class is almost done. lagi 2 semester habis. husband can't never been so nice. kadang2 lunch pon dia belikan makan. i balik tengah hari nk pergi class, the food are already there atas meja. kadang2 rasa macam sebak sebab supposely i la yang kena sediakan lunch untuk dia kan, but he did almost everything for me.

including lipat kain. you see, there are tons or perhaps pile of clothes bila jemuran kering, sebab i jenis yang bila baju tu dah melekat kt badan even for 1 hour, i takkan pakai dah. so thats why penuh je basuhan. hahaha... but again, dia la yang lipat kan. every single time.

sama la kalau siapkan beg susu bebudak. dia jugak. haihh...he has been so nice to me.

eh okayla. ni update dalam kelas ni. nanti update lagi k. muaahh!!

Being redha

you know, sometimes at one point of your life, you don't care about anything else rather than yourself, and people who loves you, and people that you love the most. even to come to an extend, you just care about yourself and your family, cause you know that family wont leave you terkedek-kedek behind. heh...

im at my almost 7months now. baby is growing well. i already know the baby's gender but yet not to reveal it till the baby is born. i just want to say ALHAMDULILAH. thank you Allah for giving me such rezeki.

anyway, do you know about redha? and what actually it means and what are the effects of redha towards one's life?

 "Redha bermaksud menerima dengan rasa senang dengan apa yang diberikan oleh Allah s.w.t samada ia baik atau buruk, samada ia berupa hukum, qada' mahupun ketentuan daripada Allah s.w.t".

especially when you had a bad day, or something bad happened to you that day. at first we might feel dissapointed, outcast, frustrated, angry, maybe we might blame others, or we might even blame ourselves due to what happened. but when it comes to being 'redha'. you will look at things differently, different dari apa judgements kita at the first place. we can even accept it simply just like that without being judgemental.

and you even feel relax and calm.something yang kita boleh achieved just by being 'redha'. redha dengan segala apa yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita.

this year 2015, really a year yang i takkan lupa seumur hidup i. both good and bad things did happened to me. and you never know what i had been through this year, and i passed through it, ALONE. alone (but not lonely definitely...haha). faced it, digested it, ALONE. i can say that i'm a pretty strong woman. i might not be a pious woman, but just by simply being redha dengan apa yang Allah dah 'tulis' untuk i, makes me what i am today.

so for what i had been through, give me sky and mountain, insyaAllah i can survive.hahaha...ish, takbur bunyik nya. no, what i mean is, experienced do teach me, you can never trust a person 100% except for yourself. this was what i get when i trusted a person too much. err...but i tend to trust people easily. one of my weaknesses maybe. tapi..really i tak sangka..

right now, just by being redha, i dah tak berapa kisah what will happen in my life, sekarang or later. i had gave so much, and this is how it repay me, then suit themselves. be it work, study, or anything in between. i just want to do things that make my life happy and conducive enough for my babies to grow well. I HAD GAVE SO SO MUCH, probably TOO MUCH. and now people do take me for granted.

if that so, then que sera sera. ;)

remember, life is too short to be wasted. people come and go, memory wont last for that long, yang sentiasa ada dengan kita is Allah, and He will never leave us, only we who left Him.

Quick Update

assalammualaikum.....teehee...lama gila tak write up kat sini. oh well, being mommy is no-more playing around man. but definitely a fun one. anyway, can we have a little bit of snip shot of my life (mestilah 'my life' kate blog sendiri kan?hihi). i will put in in numbering sebab...it looks fun to me...hahaha..

1. remember when i gave birth to baby sophea a year ago? yes...dah setahun rupanya. anyway, during puasa i had my confinement and then i went to japan and due to the time difference adalah hari yang tak puasa. same goes to this year!! this year during puasa i went to london, so tak puasa la jugak for a few days. thus, raya tak berapa nak fun sebab mama cakap orang yang tak puasa tak boleh raya. no?

2. baby sophea is still a baby (at least to me!). this coming september, she will be 1 year and 4 months old. toddler ke dah eh?nantilah check. so tengok ape yang dia dah pandai? (err...i thought all babies are pandai, kita ni diorang kecik lagi dah nak bezakan2 anak org tu lembap, anak orang tu cerdik. so sick la society nowadays). anyway, sophea dah pandai jalan. sophea dah ade gigi. rambut dh panjang. mommy memang sengaja biar panjang menutupi matanya, nak bagi panjang and nak ikat rambut dia macam budak bawah nie.

3. i don't know if i did lose some weight, but the kgs dont go up either. so i guess it is good for me. cuma bila kita lama sangat tak exercise lemah sangat sendi. occasionally adelah i buat a few workout routine, but selalunya workout routine i angkat sophea, kemas rumah, iron baju etc etc. ha!i guess sebab tu la weight tak naik eh?ohh okay...so lepas ni jangan bising la penat kemas rumah bagai, it s a sort of exercise. hahaha.... tapi perot tak leh cover la.menangis tengok.

4. i just love my job. 2 months holiday with salary, awesome kan?? rezeki wehh...sebab tu i tak paham bila orang suka complaint macam2 dalam hidup diorang. gaji sikit tak puas hati, gaji banyak tak puas hati. boss bagi kerja, boring pergi kerja. banyakkk la bunyik sedangkan setiap 10minit kerja kau update status kat facebook? puii... sebab tu i selalu cakap dengan husband i, " sayang...apa yang kita dapat hari ni semua ketentuan Allah. gaji banyak mana, dapat boss macam mana, dapat rumah besar mana...semua tu rezeki Allah. so bila kita start complaint and start comparing, maksudnya kita macam menyalahkan Allah kan? kita macam cakap indirectly yang Allah tu tak adilkan? " . memanglah, kita nak have a better life, tapi bila iols tengok cara kau cakap pungpang2 dalam facebook mendidih jugak. pakai tudang, pergi masjid, iols yakin sembahyang tak tinggal, so kenapa la hidup penuh dengan ketidakpuashatian je kak?

5. alhamdulilah dapat rezeki sambung master. tapi tetiba tak yakin boleh complete kan. yelah, mane nak kerja, jaga anak, jaga laki, jaga rumah, jaga penampilan (ehem!), mana nak study lagi. hahaha...tapi tak boleh nak sorok la, i sebenarnya kind of excited nak masuk kelas study and pay attention (sangat!). mampu ke tak?? nanti ada yang watsapp husband... "daddy, gambar sophea pleasee..". hahaha...that's what we have been doing kalau any of us outstation. hahaaha..

6. next step adalah tunggu husband buat decision, nak beli rumah ke nak beli kereta. ke nak beli iphone? jadahhhh....hahaha...i setuju sangat2 kalau dia beli rumah. i just nak rumah 1 floor pun tak pe, tapi bilik at least 3. hall luas, dengan dapur luas. eh ade ke? haha...tapi i cakap siang2 k, rumah tu, i nak decorate. refurnishing kate omputih. hahaha...

oklah....dah ngantok ni. haha...iolss tengah berlatih nak stay up pagi untuk assignment and tests. hahahahaha...... #semangat

Baby's Dilemma

i was thinking that since i (now) get back from work around 2p,, i should have pick up baby sophea kan instead of leaving her with nyai for two days straight. i mean, it is nyai who takes care of her so i tak rasa pape la to be worried . it is just that i feel like i missed my baby even more now. i missed her every second of the day.

kata anak, kan?

at 10months, she's not a baby anymore. sangat suka gelak, especially bila me and her daddy sing it out loud the incy wincy spider song, and the qasidah burdah ya-hanana. she would shake her bum bum back and forward vigourously , and when she's at her back (baring) -_____________-. but we love teasing her like that. nyayi sikit shake lebih. hahaha...

so i just told my husband that i want to pick sophea everyday starting next week. he said okay. im not sure how much we should put aside for the petrol and toll, but i guess we can make it happen. kan sayang?? ahhh having that cheeky little girl everyday at home would be something.

eh dah kul 7 la. nak get ready encik husband balik.

takla rutin kite tapi im trying to make it as a routine:
1. bukak gate utk husband.
2. salam, ciom, peluk sebelum masuk rumah.
3. amikkan air.
4. sediakan makan

ha senang kan? nampak senang tapi penat jugak, sebab lepas tu nak get ready gi jog plak. hihihi....

Quick update!

oh well. hello there!! *lap2laptopyangberhabuk*.

its been a long time yea since i last wrote here?? well, my life couldn't be better than what i have today. mashaallah alhamdulillah. walaupun i found it difficult to be ready by 7, and by 7.10am i should have reach my working place instead of golek2 with my husband cause he-starts-working-at-8.30-and-he-can-continue-his-other-1-hour-sleep is just annoyed me much.hehehe.

but, leaving the working place at 2pm is definitely a heaven. ahh, now you're telling me that i dont have a challenging working environment. tell me, what is the definition of challenging to you? by having some fist fight between the coworkers or clients? yup, i do have that just now. hahahaha....so which part of challenging u dont understand? hikhik...

kay, nanti kite sambung citer best2 lagi k. lapar sangat ni, nak g masak jap. daa!!

Siapa yang tak beradab sekarang?

ha, rasa macam besat sangat sebab semua kerja dah settle.

1. exam question paper semua dah siap. dah siap print, dah siap compile. tunggu student datang attend exam jer. hahahaha....
2. hadiah untuk birthday nephew dah siap beli. beli 3 barang sekali, ada lori, topeng, dengan action figure. beli banyak sebab murah. pastu sambil2 tu beli sekali toys sophea. heee.
3. next week start tempat kerja baru. insyaAllah, dapat kerja ni pun sebab bos lama recommendkan. betul la orang cakap, kalau kita sabar dan jujur bekerja, pulangan dia Allah akan balas. alhamdulilah.
4. weekend ni cuti empat hari. sangat terbaik.

***

you know, every time we celebrated hari raya aildilfitri, my mom will always invited over her chinese, indian, and the rest of her friends to join us for the celebration. usually on the second day raya itself, most of them will come from early morning around 11am and will stay around up until 4.00pm. so malam 1st daya raya tu, all of my family members will be busy cleaning the house and also preparing some meals like rendang ayang, rendang daging, ayam masak merah. and macam masak lodeh tu kita masak early morning la, so that tak basi cepat.

as what i learned from their visit, setiap kali diorang datang tu, each and everyone of them akan bawak gifts or buah tangan kita panggil. i mean, we never even once ask them to bring stuff / potluck but every year diorang akan datang bawak gift.

sometimes diorang akan bawak macam souvenier kalau diorang balik from vacation (diorang selalu go overseas for vacation..niceee!), and selalunya diorang akan bawak food stuff. kadang hamper, kadang boxes of chocolate, cake, biscuits, kuih raya, even cordial for drinks pun ada. bukan yang murah2 tu k, ni cordial from other country ataupun yang brand amway ke apa.

lepas diorang datang tu penuh la rumah kitorang dengan jajan. and all of us (basically me and my sister jela) akan excited to see what they brought for us.

so after a while, i beginning to wonder around, this is a very good habit and attitude for us me to grasps on. once i heard, " treat other people the way you wanted to be treated like". something like that. so kalau i suka bila dapat jajan orang datang rumah i, why can't i do the same thing? tak perlu hadiah mahal-mahal, kadang2 kuih tepi jalan beli la 2 3 jenis bawak datang kat umah orang. kira jangan datang kat rumah orang tangan kosong.

kalau you suka orang belanja you makan, kita pun kena suka belanja orang makan.
kalau kita suka orang cakap sopan santun dengan kita, kita pun kena cakap sopan santun dengan orang.
respect others, and others will respect you.

senang macam tu kan?

tapi kadang2 tak nafikan, on the way nak gi umah kawan kita tu, tak semua senang nak access kedai makan ke, kedai buah ke, supermarket ke. tapi mana yang sempat tu beli lah. kalau dah takde cash sangat pun, kalau tau rumah yang dituju tu ada budak kecik, beli la ais krim ke ape.

kita tak tahu ganjaran apa yang menunggu kita sebab menggembirakan orang lain. :)

bila kita jadi orang islam ni, patut kita ada sifat terpuji tu lebih sikit. tapi tengok gayanya....haihhh. susah nak cakap sekarang. kita tak perlu pergi ke Afghanistan sana untuk berjihad bagai, tengok diri kita, sekeliling kita, apa kita boleh buat untuk improve life orang2 Islam kita, tanamkan sifat terpuji dalam diri anak2 islam kita.

budak2 sekarang lebih kurang beradab dari orang dewasa. memang patut sebab budak2 baru nak belajar. tapi please la, sama2 kita usaha untuk jadikan anak2 kita lebih baik. kita jadi orang dewasa ni, tengok2 sikit anak kita supaya bila nak bercakap tu fikir dulu, ajar diorang adab.

tapi tu la, tengok orang malaysia ni dah tau perangai macam mana. tengok jela kalau bercakap bab politik.

sekian.

The Fat Tips

kadang-kadang ada satu masa dalam hidup kita, kita akan rasa 'down' sangat. semua benda macam not fall and fit into the right places, and kita rasa hidup kita ni susah sangat. tapi kan, just take a moment to look around, sebenarnye banyaaakkkkkk lagi benda untuk kita rasa bersyukur and also ramaaaiiii lagi manusia yang lebih teruk hidup dia dari kita.

selain berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik, dan nak hidup kita lebih baik, kita kena jugak berdoa semoga segalanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah.memang tak salah kalau kita compare hidup kita dengan orang lain, tapi kalau you keep on comparing your life dengan orang lain , and that will make you feeling down, apakah gunanya?? kalau you compare yourself to others untuk memajukan diri tak pe la jugak.

especially me. hahaha......sebok tengok orang lain kurus, kau pun nak jugak....tapi sambil compare sambil makan coklat. apakah? hahaha....tu encik husband cakap masa kitorang on the way nak balik rumah, "tak payah la compare2 dengan orang lain. orang yang compare2 and sebok amik tau hal orang lain ni loser, takde motif dalam hidup....". haha....kuang ajaq sangat tau. tapi pastu dia cakap, "tapi kalau u compare yourself and be positive about it...itu bagus lah..".

terus malam tu jogging 3km sekali harung. tapi memang terbaik lah. now we are planning to jog right after he pick me at the train. kira semua dah siap pakai baju sukan la nak run. satu jam je wak. ape la sangat...wahhh berlagak statement. anyway, post-natal weight ni memang liat giler (memang la liat tak workout ape kau ingat dia bertaburan lari lepas beranak??). so lagi 8kg je nak turun. bukan susah pun. -_____________-

anyway, comparing my life not mainly sebab weight, afterall sebelum ii , i weighted more than what i am now gulp? , but on something else. life; life without a problem bukanlah hidup nama dia. selalunya masalah yang datang ni, akan buat kita lebih hargai hidup kita.

tak percaya??

well, i am the living proof. so many things had happened in my life. i passed through it, and most importantly i learned through it. there are a few things that i wanted to share with you:

1. tak semua yang kita nak kita akan dapat.
2. ramai orang jahat dalam dunia ni.
3. but we can start one from our own self ; by being nice to other people.
4. percaya dengan ketentuan Allah.

tapi nasihat i yang paling utama sekali, when it comes to making choices, think carefully and wisely. kalau dua-dua sama berat, pilih yang ada extra point. don't worry, there is no wrong or right when making choices for our lives. it is just either we are following the short way or long way to happiness and success.

so anyway, pilihan i untuk work out lepas balik kerja tu, tak tahulah pilihan yang bijak ke tak. bahahaha.....you know, at one point im afraid i will be soooo tired that i can't cook for encik husband bila balik (but i would be so happy if he can eat only nasik and telur goreng with kicap) , and if i dont go, my trans-fat would be happy living around my waist and tummy.

but, read notes no 3: ".....being nice to other people".

let just stick to - making other people (fat and husband) happy, shall we?

running man

when sophea is not around (read: following her nenek jalan etc), basically husband and i will use all the time to...erm...you know, cherish each other as much as we could. in our own way of course. meaning, doing crazy things and trying to hurt each other (physically).

encik husband selalu je cakap, "hello sayang...awak tu mak orang tau....anak dah satu...cuba behave sikit..". well, that doesn't turn me down on doing things i like the most ;  teasing him. but by the time i want to write these down, i came to the end of the road. maaf lah yer...bahahaha!

but semalam, i balik office a bit lambat , because i met my friend halfway back, so we were basically chirping and gossiping updating each other. i tell that sad story later. so anyway, by the time we reached home, it was already 8.30 pm. luckily we were on diet starvation mode so encik husband nak makan burger jer. diet apakah makan burger. burger la lagi banyak calorie count dia. #dietfreaktapibukandietpunsebenarnye

so while waiting for the burger to defrost a bit, encik husband help me around the kitchen asah pisau. ye ye, im lazy like that , that my own pisau pun i tak asah until i have to do it jugak la. entah la, dah macam terbiasa plak encik husband tukang asah pisau and haaa, lagi satu, isi air dalam ice cube tray tu....hahaha...i punya tahap kemalasan yang amat melampu, dua benda tu je ha. oh lagi satu bab basuh toilet but we girls dont mention that isn't it?

lepas makan, take a rest for awhile, then we went for a jog. it's been a while since our last jog together. i do a bit of circuit training and on treadmill tapi encik husband tu biasalah dia. so we all decided to have our jogging session. siap-siap and off we go.

sampai je i terus cakap dengan ecik husband, "b, i nak run for 1 hour tau. u jangan stop...". dia jeling i dengan pandangan yang tajam. cis, dia ingat i tak mampu. fine! we'll see siapa yang tertinggal jauh kat belakang. i ran and ran and ran until im out of breath. masa tu dah halfway, lebih kurang 1.5KM. so i had another 1.5KM to go. dammit. mana boleh i mengaku kalah.

tapiii...masa tu muscle i dah senak. eh ade ke muscle senak?  but i just continued until dalam 300m nak sampai kat parking bay, i stopped. i had to stopped. hehehe....not because im tired but i stopped because i want to look around the scenery and the night view was just mesmerizing. you know what i mean right??

heee.....anyway, it was definitely a fun run. did a lil bit of cool down then balik. on the way back, we listened to a couple of my selection of songs our favourite songs, happily and energetic of we were that time. i guess when we really put our mind into it, things will eventually happen.

actually we were supposed to have our night run on monday, tapi monday tu encik husbank balik lambat so terpaksa cancel sebab by the time we finished our home cook dinner, dah nak pukul 10.20pm. abistu, kul bape nak habis jog , kan?? i know we were supposed to go, sekejap je pun dalam one hour, tapi sebab kitorang kan first timer after so long rehat, takut jugak tengah-tengah lari tu terpejam terus tido kat situ. hahahaha..... dah tua-tua ni banyak kemungkinan...gitewwww.....

balik je, cuba teka kitorang buat apa??haa......basuh toilet. boleh??? *hentak dahi kat dinding* penat wehhhhh....kena buli plak basuh toilet. i pun apa lagi, purposely buat-buat lambat, angkat kain dulu la...buat exercise perut la kat depan tv, hahaha.... last-last kena jugak. but alhamdulilah apparently tangan i luka sebab kena paper cut #perghhgediktakhengatminahnie so i ambil alih tugas sembur air je. but last night was damn cold, pergh diri kaku jela i sembur air. encik husband tukang sental-sental.

rasa kalau ada yang read dah tau sangat perangai tahap kebersihan encik husband dah macam OCD dah. i rasa toilet tu biasa je, takdelah kotor sangat. ntah apa dia dengki sangat tengok bathroom i. sebok nak sental malam-malam tu jugak pukul 12 am apakah nasib i seorang isteri .

tau-tau in between i dah cranky. hahahaha i ni memang tak boleh. if i feel a bit tired, mulah la i diam seribu bahasa pastu cranky macam dah taknak gurau la. dia kacau i ape ntah pastu i jawab, "ha jangann lahh....kita penat ni....". pastu dia jawab... "haaa cranky la tu...dah penat kan...". ehh la tauuu....dok kacau ceq wat pa....hahaha.

tapi lepas mandi terus segar bugar. hahahaha....siap pasang a chance of a cloudy meatballs 2 lagi siap makan kerepek. entah bila i tertido pun i tak tau. tau-tau encik husband kejut suh masuk bilik. ada patut kejut sesekali dukung la bawak masuk .

but we really do had a great day and it was fun. sometimes being just the two of us is good. but if sophea is around, it will just be great. great is better than good. oh i miss that cheeky little girl!

Sophea's Update

die kan, bila nak update jer niat tu kuat betul. but by the time nak update tu memang ke laut. nasib la ade orang tu suka sangat suruh i update. tak putus2 request suh update blog. tapi i syak la dia sebenarnye perli i, i je buat2 jujur, yang dia memang nak baca blog i. kita sebagai orang islam kan tak baik buruk sangka. wahahaha....padahal memang dah takde orang nak baca kak. tutup jela blog ni.

tapi....tak kisahla. sebenanrnya, in real life pun i memang jenis talkative. mak mertua pun kadang2 dia cakap "sophea macam mommy banyak cakap...". i rasa dia perli tu,suh  bawak2 berkurang kan bercakap, tapi.... he he he...that's not me...not me at all... *flip hair*

tapi i ni kalau diam seribu bahasa, maksudnya adalah yang tak kena. adalah orang yang i tak suka berada dalam radius 10 meter dari i, atau i simply dont want to talk. ada sekali tu i balik rumah mertua, nampak newspaper. i opened it and read it through. seronok la baca paper sebab dah lama sangat tak baca. sekali encik husband datang "sayang...tutup dulu paper tu. nanti mama kata menantu sombong taknak bercakap plak..". terkedu i. terus tutup and chirp around happily. hahaha.... kuang asam punya suami.

so nak update ape kita sebenarnye. update pasal sophea jom!

sophea 31 january ni genap dia 8 bulan. setakat 8 bulan ni apa yang dia dah pandai:

1. she talks a lot! i mean like a lot for baby her age. haha....i wonder dia ikot siapa. ada sekali tu nak dekat 15 minutes dia cakap non stop. well, not literally cakap, but yeah..she talked in her own language.. but me and encik husband sekalu jer terhibur with what she's trying to say. we love it and cherished them so much!

2. she knows how to clap her hands. ni rasanya kena ucap terima kasih kat mak mertua sebab dia yang ajar sophea tepuk amai-amai. mommy biasalah bawak balik rumah terus "sophea...clap your hands!!". hahaha...tapi paham plak anak aku ni. and she will clap her hand repetitively. tapi ikut mood dia la. kalau dia rajin dia buat.

3. she knows when i asked her to kiss me. for example macam, "sophea...kiss mommy...kiss mommy sayang..". pastu dia bagi dahi dia kat i. -_______-. tapi kita macam happy la kan sebab baby kita dah pandai response. so actually, our babies ni listen but they couldn't response (yet). so keep talking and show her things, nanti dia akan buat jugak.

4. she responses to my instruction. ni i baru buat experiment sekali jer. she picked a towel, so i asked her to put it back. and yup! she put it back...awwww....i tiap kali cakap ke suruh sophea buat ke, bila dia respon tu i macam melt-melt jer. she's just adorable..... haihhh

5. she still need to be put to sleep. ehh...macam kejam jer bunyik. i mean, i need to carry her, and hug her sampai dia tidur. kalau dia dah half tidur pun i dah boleh letak dia on her bad. dulu masa kecik-kecik tak boleh. letak je nangis. now she big girl already. sobs sobs...

6. she exciteds more when she sees her daddy. entah kenapa...kalau dengan daddy senang je nak senyum gelak borak2. kalau dengan mommy dia buat sukati dia jer. i know she loves me but she loves her daddy more??bzzzzzz..... mommy yang mengandungkan awak tau sophea!

alhamdulilah, i really can't describe how happy and calm i am now. dah takde apa untuk i fikir lagi especially lepas kahwin haritu (haritu ape...dah nak masuk 2 tahun okay...hahah). sekarang my life memang fully untuk husband and anak i. i just wanted to make them happy, and that they are happy with me around. banyak plan i nak buat dengan encik husband. on how to improve life, our lifestyle, our health, making money, take care of kids and stuff. rasa semua macam tu kot?

maybe our life is not perfect for you, but seriously i couldnt ask for more. it is just too perfect that at some moment i jadi takut, kalau Allah amik balik pinjaman Dia. we all know that this is only a loan from God right? i know...

but always remember things happen for a reason... just be happy :)

Penggoda

i really dont know about other people who already married. did you guys play around a lot with your spouse?? i mean like really fool around the house (err...not in a kinky way of course...i wouldnt dare to know...hahaha) with your husband? coz mannn....i really did get teased around pretty much.

especially time tengah mandi. tak kira la subuh ke, malam ke, pukul 2 3 pagi ke, encik husband tersangatlah 'rajinnnnnnnye' nak jugakkk tutup lampu bathroom i bila i'm taking my shower.. i mean, guys...did you really 'enjoy' that moment huh? listening to your wife's screaming in a middle of a night?? ishh...tak paham.

pastu if i were doin my thing, seboklah jerit dari luar, "baby....buat ape tewww...??". rasa nak jawab je, "masak sayang..." tapi kang dia kata i isteri derhaka plak. hehehe....selalu i jawab "adelah....sebok jer...". pastu i senyum-senyum sebab terfikir apelah husband i ni, sebok nak tau...ke tak boleh berjauhan ke ape... hehehe...

tu okay lagi. masa awal-awal kahwin dulu, tangan i memang dah standby je nak tapek die sekali. apekan tidak, i keluar bilik, dia tengah cangkung depan bathroom. dah kenapa?? memang niat hati dia tu nak terkejutkan i la tu. sah-sah la memang kita terkejut sebab lepas mandi, would you ever once concern on what is happening outside of your bedroom?? tak la kan...mesti la kite fikir takde orang and aman damai je. sekali ada orang duk mencangkung depan bathroom u, haruslahh rasa nak tapek... nasib i tak sepak je. hahaha.... tapi kalau niat memang nak sepak ngaku la nanti ter-sepak. hahaha...puas hati.

tapiiiiiiiiii................

itu kalau kat rumah, kalau dalam kereta jangan harap la. it's my turn bebeh. yela kan, encik husband kan driving, makanya, bermewah-mewahan la i dalam kereta. cocok pinggang dia kan (please don't do this, bahaya actually), joget2 depan dia ke. nyanyi2 sekuat hati ke.

selalu encik husband buat muka sardin jer. malu agaknya dapat wife tak berapa nak matang. atau pun dia geleng-geleng kepala. tak pun dia cakap, "b...orang sebelah nampak la..". merujuk kepada kereta sebelah.

bukan tak matang, it just that, i am being me, and i love to tease him as much he likes to tease me. so same-same la kan? hehehe...

ohh i remember, masa mula-mula kahwin banyaklah adegan panas dalam kereta, hahaha....well, dah halal kan. dulu masa tak halal jauh2 je la. tapi takde la panas mana pun. saje gurau-gurau. sekali kereta sebelah tu ternampak ke skodeng kitorang ke entah la. bila stop kat traffic light, dua-dua orang kat dalam kereta tu pandang kitorang. sekali tahu encik husband buat apa. dia pandang balik kereta sebelah tu, pastu gerak kan kepala dia macam, "ha, apsal? ada hutang?" sambil senyum kat orang sebelah tu. hahaha...orang sebelah tu senyum balik pastu tak pandang dah.

hahahaha.....gila taiko. dahla kau yang buat adegan panas mengundang, pastu kau nak sound dia balik. ha ha ha bagus perangai. but we had a good laugh about it. sampai sekarang kalau teringat balik mesti nak tergelak. ha ha ha.... kitorang ni memang...perangai dah macam ape ntah.

and selalu jugak i tanya dia soalan bonus. ala....perempuan kan suka tanya, "u sayang i tak?". rasa dalam sehari paling tak pun sekali mesti tanya. agaknya kalau sophea tu boleh jawab , dia jawab camni kot, " mommy....agak-agak la. dah la daddy dengan mommy dah 9 tahun, dah dapat sophea pun boleh tanya lagi...". hahaha....tak kiwe.... sukati mommy la.

ada once tu i tanya dia, "despite what had happened, u rasa menyesal tak kahwin dengan i...".

pastu encik husband jawab sambil pandang muka i, "not even once i.......". pastu i tak dengar dah la seterusnya sebab i dah busy angkat barang2 from boot kereta. dah jadi mak-mak ni, nak romantic pun halfway jer. banyak lagi kerja nak selesaikan.

ha ha ha.

Negative Vibes

tadi tengah kemas-kemas pendrive. ha ha ha pendrive pun nak kemas. panggggg sekali! yela...dah document semua berterabur dalam tu, haruslah kan kemas masuk susun dalam folder cantik-cantik. then masa kemas-kemas tu terjumpe la satu document. document tu la puncanya ada titik hitam dalam hati i ni. hurmm... titik hitam tu bukan sebab perasaan dendam ke ape. titik hitam tu macam satu benda paling buruk pernah berlaku dalam hidup i. kira macam, sepanjang i hidup, itulah 'benda' yang paling mengecewakan. and it hurts so bad that i decided to leave malaysia for good. and truly said, i'm not over it totally. i tau kita patut let go for good things to come our way, but i just cant. lagi2 especially when im all alone atau dengar lagu sedih, kata-kata yang menghancurkan hati i lingering in my mind. and yes, setiap kali teringat bulu roma i akan berdiri, thinking it 'that' thing happen again, what else would i do?

leave malaysia for good? maybe i will. and i bring sophea sekali. that would be nice eh growing up in suburbs of wales, or london. ehehehe.... can go shopping what. he he he... i just hope and pray that people will always keep their promises.

***

oh semalam encik husband konvo. being a wife, i always been proud with him. entahlah, knowing that he is always passionate for the job, and do things accordingly, i just hope in 10 years time dia dapat gelaran datuk. wahh...tinggi kan angan-angan. yela, if he become datuk, i go shopping. hahahah.... nampak tak permainan dia kat situ? haahaha....

i always proud to be his wife, always proud whenever he touches my hand and hold it tight. siapa yang tak suka bila dia rasa disayangi. siapa? semua suka. me too.... macam pagi tadi, dahla bangun lambat, but he kept holding my hand, hugged me tightly, padahal mata i laju je tengok jam pukul berapa dia nak bangun dari katil. but still i dont want to paksa him bangun, sebab helloooo...siapa plak suka tengah tidur kena kejut kan?? slow slow la. pastu nak golek-golek peluk2 kat katil. pastu nanti bising2 lambat...hahaha...cute tapi annoying. padahal dia yang buat lambat tu... hahaha...

i tak tau la perasaan dia kat i camne setelah nak masuk 2 tahun kahwin ni.but for me, my feelings for him still going strong. in fact, it getting stronger when sophea came into the picture. i see him, my beloved husband more like our life's line, as our protector. he, has the biggest influence in our lives. i just feel safe whenever im with him.

i'm sure sophea feel the same way too. *senyum*

hahaha...tetiba nak feeling cinta plak. ni mesti kes tertengok document yang penuh sejarah hitam tu. whenever i picture.............. ok im tired with all these. why la benda ni jadi kat aku??? kalau la boleh basuh brain kite nie so that i cannot remember any of these bullshit kan bagus. sakit otak jugakla sebenarnye.. orang maybe cakap, "ala kau je selalu pikir2...teringat2..memang la sakit hati..". memang la, but hello...it's there. in my BRAIN! that is what we called MEMORY. we can't delete the memories.

mood dah ke laut ni. haihhh.... baru nak stay positive. half day je dapat?? hahaha...

***

dah la. i just want to have a happy life. i dont need people who dont stay the same path with me. they can go if they dont like to stay in my route, the route to happiness. i want. i do really want. having loving husband who loves me and the babies. i really2 want it.

so ya Allah, sentiasa kurniakan kebahagiaan buat aku dan suami serta anak2. panjangkan jodoh kami sehingga ke syurga. permudahakn segala urusan kami di dunia dan juga akhirat. amin. insyaallah.

i have no idea but it's a story somehow

i just cant wait for december. sebab december adalah terpaling banyak cutinyer. hihi.... next month i keja selama 8 hari sahaja, dan yang lain adalah waktu berjimba dengan suami dan anak-anak. anak je pon...anak-anak ape nyer...hahaha...

dalam otak dah plan nak buat apa:
- kemas rumah
macam susun baju, pinggan mangkuk.

-buang apa yang patut
i know encik husband will the one yang saaaaaaaaaaaaangat happy when it comes to his-wife-throwing-out-unwanted-things. tapi tu la kan, baby sophea will be with me, so i harap dia boleh main sendiri and tak nangis nak mintak i dukung je all the time.

-masak
lunch time will be definitely a happy time untuk encik husband sebab dia akan balik rumah makan.

-nak jalan-jalan kat shopping centre dekat dengan rumah
a mommy-and-daughter shopping time. pow duit daddy sikit untuk lunch. hihi...

-PD vacation
family vacation. i need those. nak bawak sophea jalan-jalan and main pasir. oh if that the case, i need to buy her some new toys untuk korek2 pasir...

***

i bought some tudung for my mother in law. i hope she loves it (and she must!!haha). lagipun ni i beli tudung from AidiJuma. girl, they have like the best and cheap tudung okay. nanti bila i dah bertudung, my kinda tudung will be from AidiJuma. heeeee...

anyway, dah lama i tak belikan dia something. last time was a handbag untuk raya last year. oh and baju cotton from japan itu ari. oh ade rupenyer. hahaha...

my mother in law, geezz....i tell u, she's the best. i rasa both my mums are different from those makcik-makcik. u know. malas la i nak cakap, but u know la those makcik-makcik. that's why i love them both so much.

and my MIL, she loves my cooking. agaknye la kot. whenever i feel like cooking , i selalu bawakkan dia la makanan i masak tu. and she never complains. and i dengan muka tak malu nyer will ask her, "ma, sedap tak ma? ".

and she will always answer, "okay.". err....that's good enough kan? kang puji2 mesti dia risau anak dia taknak balik rumah makan sebab isteri masak sedap jer. hahaha...i know the feelings. we women mesti ade rasa jeles sikit2. hahaha....

***

kul 10pagi tadi encik husband dah message i. asking about what i'm gonna cook for dinner. boleh? adoi that guy ar. really making my life 'miserable' (in a sweet way though...kikiki). terus i cepat2 google nak masak apa.

so our dinner will be:
roasted chicken. because that is what we have kat dalam fridge.
mashed potato
and some boiled cauliflower and buncis.

ermm.... i really love it when encik husband message me and ask me whether i nak masak apa for lunch or dinner. it makes me feel wanted, and i rasa macam he loves being at home with me, and sophea, and sudi makan masakan air tangan i. i know im not a good cook, but still edible. walaupun i penat because im working, and balik je terus masak, i tak rasa susah pun.

tapi memang penat la lepas masak then kemas lagi. wish i have a robot who does the cleaning. heh.

but anyway, untuk cinta jantung hati i tu, i okay jer. doakan la yer encik husband, that i will be healthy and that i can serve u for as long as u want as i live.

Hidup Ini Indah?

Cerita payung.

tau tak, we need some major skills masa nak bukak payung? memang. ada macam guidelines on how to open your payung. tekan benda yang macam tersembul and tadaa, terbukak la payung anda. tapi mesti takde sape tau (or tulis dalam guidelines) yang masa nak tekan benda tersembul tu, kite kena tolak payung tu ke atas sikit (upper lift) so that kulit jari kita tak tersepit? ha tak de kan? benda tu kita tau through experience kan? that's why i dulu a lil bit fobia nak bukak tutup payung sebab banyak kali jari tersepit kat situ. -_________- haihh. bodoh sangat. tapi now dah pandai dah...hihi!

***

semalam, masa nak solat isyak, husband was at front, watching berita sambil makan vanilla iceream dalam cup. he offered me the icecream, but i just took a sip and NO for the rest of the icecream. look tempting tapiiii the calorie....haihh, satu jam jog okay. hahaha...i'm a calorie freak. but whatever it's my body (sebenarnya sedih sebab tak dapat makan. husband apa kisah...he looks good all the time despite boncit ke tak. cube kalau kita perempuan boncit ; horror jawapan dia).

anyway, masa i nak solat tu, i looked at our bed, and next to our bed was baby sophea's cot. and on sophea's cot, there's a pair of little red and denim shoe from 'Next'. i bought a few months back, but only managed to pakai her once.

masa i tengah pakai telekung tu, i stared at those bed and cot, and then it crossed my mind. "how on earth did i managed to get where i am now, being married and have a child?". it was so fast that i actually someone's wife, and a mother. so fast that i couldn't remembered the process and the roads to where i am now.

i have a very loving husband, who loves me with all his heart. i know that sebab he literally never leave me alone except masa nak pergi kerja, he loves to kiss me and hold my hand (or my peha...prfttt) whenever he can. and not in a naughty way, mind u. hahahha... and then, with him i have this beautiful baby. adorable and healthy baby are what matter the most.

haihh...i don't know what i have done to be deserve these irreplaceable gifts from Allah. but deep down inside i really bersyukur. not all are lucky like me, though ramai je pun yang lebih baik dari i. but at this moment, i just thanked Allah for everything. betul orang cakap, Allah bagi banyak benda kat kita, kenapa sikit pun kita tak tunduk and ikut apa yang Allah suruh.

***

i alway pray that these happiness will always follow me wherever i go. that my encik husband will always love me (and find me attractive as i grow older he he he), and that he will take care of me and our baby (or perhaps babies...next year ke mane tau...wahhh...hahaha). and that Allah will always love us and forgive us for every sins we did.

gosh, i really love both of my babies.

the feeling of wanting to be with them, and nak sentiasa peluk and ciom diorang all the time, sentiasa ada within me.

life couldn't be better. but insyaAllah getting better and better.

ps: daddy work hard sikit daddy. kitorang nak duk obersea.

High Chair Ikea

there are so many things to be done this weekend. sebab next week we will be mighty busy with aqiqah and stuff. but before i jump into entah-ape2-kind-of-story, i nak cerita dulu ape i buat for today.

malam tadi i slept at my mother in law's house, well, dah sehari tak jumpe sophea kan, rindu terlampau dah. then macam biasa around 5.30am we woke up, sebab nak balik rumah, and nak siap pergi kerja. selalu pun camtu. then by 6am camtu sampai lah rumah.

sekali encik husband request nak lunch tengah hari kat rumah. so i was like, "urmm...kul 6 pagi kot. tido?". tapi mengenangkan tugas isteri menjaga makan dan pakai suami, dalam keterpaksaan dan kemengantukkan tu, gigih la jugak masak. harap2 dia ingat la, isteri dia ni sanggup berkorban waktu tidur untuk masak dan membahagiakan suami. eceh....

so since ayam dah marinate, agak mudah lah nak masak. so i buat marinated chicken grilled with honey, lepas tu buat sup suun (ni dah berkurun mintak), sambal kicap super pedas, masak nasi, dengan tauhu goreng. hopefully tauhu tu edible lagi la untuk dimakan. siap semua dalam pukul 7am.

ecik husband 3 kali cakap "sedapp nye bauuu...", and siap bukak penutup kuali tu sambil cakap, "tak sabarnye nak makan....". mampu? harapnye sedap la, sebab masak time2 ngantuk kan?? pastu pagi tu dalam kereta i komplen la, "i ngantuk b, habis satu jam waktu tidur i...". hahaha....

pastu dia jawab, " mamak memang bangun kul 6 pun!!". cess...same kan i dengan mamak, mamak tu haruslah...meniaga kan... i pun jawab la.. "i melayuuuuu....". betul ape? nak samekan kita melayu dengan mamak plak.

encik husband diam..... tak lama tu, "mak mak sayang.....bukan mamak!". wakakakaa.... fine!

faham la maksud dia tu. mak mak kena bangun awal, masak, siapkan anak semua. i know its hard but i enjoyed every moment of it. macam haritu kitorang nak pergi penang, bangun kul 6 just nak siapkan barang2 nak letak depan pintu je pon, pastu mandikan sophea and siapkan barang sendiri. kul 8 camtu baru siap ok. 2 jam!! itu anak sorang. bayangkan anak 2 3 ??kikikikiki.... tak terbayang! *supermom*

encik husband cakap nak ajak kawan. masak bodo camtu pun nak ajak kawan. agaknye kalau i masak nasi beriani siap kurma daging dengan pajeri nenas, mau die jemput satu kampung. huahuahua...mungkin juga die tu nak perli i, sebab selalu sangat masak bodo2, ajak kawan baru tau malu sikit. hahaha....whatevers!!

***
 perasan tak entry ni macam excited sikit?? sebab kannn....i belikan sophea benda ni.... jap!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

scroll sikit. jangan malas pleaseee.....hihihi...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

BUMBO seat siap TRAY lagi..... macam makan kat kedai... kikiki...memang berkenan sangat masa jalan2 kat mothercare alamanda tu. tapi mahal plak RM299. tadi survey2 online, dapat murah. alhamdulilah. tak sabar nak letak sophea kat dalam tu. mesti gemok tersangkot tak boleh keluar dia. wahahaha...

weekend ni nak pergi ikea plak. daddy nak belikan sophea high chair. sebab sophea dah nak boleh makan dah next month. ingat nak beli sekali farley rusk tu. suka sangat menggigit.

 ni la high chair baby tu. murah je. dalam rm39 ke rm40 ntah. tapi ni without tray. kalau ade tray dalam rm50 kot. tapi kalau nanti2 korang nak beli tray tu dalam rm10 jer pun. so daddy, yang ni k?? ke daddy nak belikan yang ni.

daddy, nak yang niiii!!tapi yang ni rm200++. kalau daddy dapat bonus boleh la belikan yang ni. nampak stronger sikit la sayang. huauahuahua....

ok lah. got to go. tapi tetiba teringat ayam kat umah tadi...heeeeee....

Being A Rajin

kalau nak ikutkan, bulan depan (december), i kerja dalam 5 hari je sebulan. ha ha ha *evil laugh*. why?? sebab i nak habiskan annual leaves i yang bertunggak tu. heee...thats the beauty of working. lagipun cuti i tu i carried forward dari cuti sebelum i kahwin ari tu. pekerja dedikasi kan. so since i dengar ura-ura management kitorang dah nak di take over, baik habiskan if not nanti diorang bukan bayar balik pun. so yes, me, encik husband and sophea kat rumah will be marvelous. sebulan i dapat tengok sophea depan mata i.

semalam sophea was not with us. tapi daddy pulak sakit kepala. so date kitorang nak pergi jogging tergendala la. i though of doing circuit training, tapi alahai malas dah plak. malas malas malas. susah la penyakit camni. nak lose weight tapi malas, ha macam mane.

but alhamdulilah, i rasa i dah lose weight a bit. ha ha ha...sebab i boleh pakai baju lama i.tapi tak boleh cakap la sebab baju lama pun besar sebab lama dulu pun i gemuk jugak. hhahaha...lantak kau la kiah. sebenarnye tak kurus pun pastu self proclaimed. -______________-

***

semalam borak2 dengan encik husband. talking about married couple yang selalu bergaduh. encik husband baca kat mane ntah, dia kate majority couples gaduh sebab benda-benda kecik macam baju letak kat lantai, katil tak berkemas, tak tolong kat rumah etc etc.

i rasa macam terharu bila encik husband cakap, "i tengok kan b, takde satu pun yang kita buat....".

well, sebab i belajar dari dia. encik husband rajin okay kalau compared dengan i. betul la orang cakap, siapa yang kita bergaul, it makes what we are. contoh cam kita di kelilingi mereka yang pandai, eventually kita akan pandai, kawan dengan orang2 yang beriman, beriman la jugak kita nanti. so macam kes i, bergaul dan hidup dengan orang yang rajin, rajin la juga kite ni pun.

since the day i kahwin dengan encik husband, i belajar corak hidup dia. apa dia buat sebelum tidur, and ape dia buat lepas die bangun tidur. so i tengok cara dia and store in my mind how can i please him? by following cara hidup dia.

tu orang kata, suami isteri perangai sama jer. kalau buruk perangai isteri dia macam bini matyo, maknanya suami dia pun sama buruk, tak pandai jaga isteri. sebab tu dalam Islam sendiri pun cakap, isteri tu tanggungjawab suami. apa yang isteri buat reflect suami. so, i AKAN berusaha sehabis baik, supaya orang takkan cakap camtu kat suami i , and that i ni sentiasa membahagiakan suami i.

so, we never throw our clothes on the floor, sebab tu kitorang beli laundry bag dekat Ikea ala rm12 je pun. kitorang beli dua, satu letak dalam bedroom, satu letak kat laundry. ni pun i nak suh encik husband beli bakul laundry so that masa i nak angkat baju dari bedroom ke laundry room takde nak jatuh2 tercicir especially stokin encik husband. -__________-

then encik husband ajar i, towel hang dekat hanger and sangkut kat tempat airy. kalau i rajin i letak kat laundry room, if not letak kat bilik. so bila malam i nak pakai dah kering dah. oh last time before kahwin i tak buat camtu pun. tak la i longgok tepi or letak atas katil, itu pengotor tahap ape dah tu, i sangkut kat rail atau hang belakang pintu tapi susah la nak kering sikit. so lepas kahwin ni pandai2 la kan.

semalam tak pergi jog ingat nak buat circuit, tapi malas, pastu ade suara pensebok kat situ, "basuh toilet pon exercise jugak..". perghhh hahahaha. i dengan toilet ni memang kureng sikit. unless basuh toilet sama2 dengan encik husband okay la. tapi kalau menyendiri tu tidak mungkin la. hahaha...

hari ni tak sure nak jumpa sophea ke nak balik. i rasa nak jumpe sophea la. i missed her so so much. her cheeky smile and kaki dia yang kalau sepak kita tu boleh senak jugak lah. bambam sangat. balik la kan?? anak lebih penting dari segalanya.

Lunch

semalam balik awal. dalam 6.45 dah sampai kat station. tapi encik husband lambat plak. by 7.10 macam tu baru sampai. hrmm...lately ni encik husband teramat lah busy. nak message pun tak boleh. i mean he won't reply, or it takes him one year to reply my message. ha ha ha.... untuk mengelakkan hangin satu badan, i tak la message dia. kang tengah loving2 anje2 dia tak reply itu memang mengundang. mengundang ape? mengundang perasaan amarah. hahahaha... entah ape yang busy sangat. tapi selalu bila dia amik i tu, memang penat la kelihataanye beliau itu.

sampai rumah letak handbag, buga tag jam ape semua letak atas meja terus masuk dapur. heh.. dah nama pun isteri, makan pakai suami kena la jaga kan? semalam i masak daging paprik dengan egg salad sahaja. no rice. well, encik husband yang taknak makan nasi, so i'm okay with it. sedap plak makan egg salad semalam. terus encik husband cakap, "sayang...nanti i belikan u roti wholemeal, salad nanti u bawakkan i sandwich untuk lunch office k?". i senyum je la, dah tentu boleh jer. pastu encik husband cakap lagi, "tapi tak sempat lunch dah habis... hahaha!!". heee....selalu dah macam tu die tu.

encik husband cakap, kat office die banyak staff mat saleh, or european people la macam tu. diorang lunch memang jarang sangat keluar lunch. bukan macam orang malaysia ni. bak kata encik husband "jalan berdendai-dendai ramai2 gi beli makan bungkus dalam plastik merah ade polystrene...". hahaha...lawak gila. pagi2 kalau hantar encik husband kat ofis, ade la ramai2 perempuan jalan berdendai-dendai gi beli breakfast.

soalan encik husband, " diorang tak breakfast kat rumah ke?". i jawab la " tak sempat sayang... mane nak siapkan anak lagi...". kan?

encik husband cakap staff mat saleh tu hanya makan sebiji epal sahaja untuk lunch. sambil makan sambil buat kerja tanga diorang tu. awesome kan??

i kat office memang jarang gila turun beli makan or pegi makan. senang cerita i tak makan ataupun i makan la ape yang ada kat dalam office ni macam biskut ke oats ke. sebab i tak turun makan simply because kena menapak jauh (read:malas), lepas tu kalau makan lauk2 cedok tu, kedai dia...hrm...amat...hrmm..menyedihkan. sekarang dengan ramai orang mati kena kencing tikus, hrmm...i have to think twice.

jauh gila cerita. ha lepas masak paprik dengan egg salad tu, makan, kemas balik pinggan, lepak tengok tv. semalam jogging jugak. tapi keluar agak lambat. dalam 9.40. selalu 9.30 kitorang dah hit the road. oh oh, i sekarang minum herbal tea untuk laxative. sekali semalam sakit perut memulas2 dah macam apa. berlari cari toilet. tapi menyedihkan sampai kat toilet dua kali okay, tetiba je sakit perut tu terus hilang.

so sempat berlari.

semalam dengan kawalan nafas yang betul, and not drinking too much of water masa dinner sebelum tu, i dapat berlari sejauh 3KM tanpa ada perut cramp pun. wuhuuuuu!!!! happy gila okay. walapun ade la dalam 20seconds i stop kejap sebab penat gila, but i continued.

one of the reason because,

"if during workout u want to stop, but want to keep going at the same time, u're doing it right!!"

so itu yang i rasa semalam. encik husband dah kedepan, he never stops. kita mana boleh kalah dengan dia kan (read: he is my pembakar semangat), so i jogged back. man it does feel good. sakit2 la badan. but we felt good this morning somehow. ke tak? hahaha...

***
encik husband cakap, benda yang kitorang buat ni sangat penat. it takes time, effort, energy, and some cost. tapi it all worth it in the end. not only we will look good and feel good, tapi lately ramai sangat relative kitorang yang sakit jantung la, kidney problem la, kena dialisi, pastu ade one of my student father dia kena sakit jantung, strok and eventually died.

scary.

i mean mati memang pasti. kalau sebab mati kerana penyakit, kita dah tak amanah dalam menjaga 'harta' yang Allah pinjamkan kat kita due to what we eat and our lifestyle. kite yang sabotaj diri sendiri kan. eceh...padahal baru pergi jogging sekali je pon. hahaha...its ok. better late than never.

lagipun sekarang medical bills sangat lah mahal.

so one thing to avoid spending too much on medical bills, to have a healthy lifestyle.

malam ni dah tentu tak boleh jog sebab sophea ada. but no worries, we have circuit training.

awesome kan??

Terlajak Habis Semuanya

so yesterday was my puasa day. saje puasa sunat dan puasa ganti. tapi orang kate tak boleh sekali kan? takpela, Tuhan tahu. back from the work, encik husband fetch me quite late. kerja macam dia tu pun nak balik lambat. bukan dapat bonus 12 bulan ponnn...hahaha... tapi tu la kite panggil keikhlasan, berkhidmat untuk negara untuk rakyat. sayang, ingat kerja kerna ikhlas. jangan banyak merungut. i baca somewhere, dia cakap Allah kata kalau rezeki yang sedikit tu pun kita merungut, rezeki yang banyak pun kita akan buat benda yang sama. so, semoga murah rezeki, and that rezeki will be showered to me and baby sophea. hehehe.... i want to go London. you know that.... hehehe...

i thought of cooking sambal telur. just simple dish, sebab kitorang berdua je pon kat rumah. prfttt....macam la kalau sophea ade kat rumah boleh makan besar, makan pon tak pandai lagi...hahaha... i siap beli telur kat KKmart area ofis i tu.hahaha.....and bought a small box of cornflakes and fresh milk, untuk sahur esok konon. then, encik husband kept teasing me all the way from my office to putrajaya, asking whether i wanted to have some arabian and iranian cuisine that night.

haihhh.....i really thought we were in this together. you know, diet program. diet program i senang. no rice, no oil, no fat, no sugary drinks. yang lain boleh masuk. ni dah encik husband tetiba ajak makan nasi arab kat cyber kenapa?? kedengkian kan disitu. but, since i was am so determined, i tak makan pun nasi last night. and so do encik husband. tetiba bangga dengan dia sebab dia boleh decline nasi. hello !*waiving* encik husband? no nasi? he must took all the effort and determination to pulled it through. hahahaha..... ended up, we had lamb kebab. one meal, shared by two. tapi air bapak gelas besar sorang satu. tapi kenyang rasa nak muntah.

yang i marah sangat, sampai rumah our next activity is to go for a jog. light jog and then lift some weight. masa tu dah kul 9.00pm. i kemas2 rumah sikit, masuk bilik nampak encik husband tengah meriah2 baring kat katil. and then he said, "sayang....cube you baring kat sini..". i jeling jela, sebab i tau kalau i dah start baring, memang tak bangun nyer dah. sekali betul. dia ajak lagi and then dua2 tertido sampai pagi. dengan kipas terbukak, pintu tak tutup, lampu tak tutup, pintu toilet tak tutup. astagfirullah...tak tau la nak jadi apa kitorang ni. hahahaha...

pastu pagi2 perli i, "semalam sayang jogging ke??". kalau korang , ade rasa nak hempuk dia tak? ade, kan?i pun!! *senyum lebar* musnah harapan i nak add on calories. pfrtttttttt...benci sangat!

anyway, i terbangun kul 2 pagi tu, tutup lampu semua, basuh kain, jemur kain, masukkan pinggan and utensils dalam kabinet, lipat kain sambil tengok "whitehouse down", encik husband dah download kan. awesome gile citer tu. ade channing tatum yang sexy, so, worth watching! in between, i pause kejap and went to check encik husband. switched on the aircond, and selimutkan die, dengan tido tak berbaju. haihh...dia tu bukan boleh. kang pagi2 selsema sejuk sangat la, sakit perut la ape la. so selimutkan lah die ketat2 macam sophea kene bedung, so i pun buat yang sama kat daddy die. kiss him goodnight and went out.

tau2 dah kul 4.30am i pun buat omellete untuk sahur i. makan gosok gigi, kul 5.30am masuk tidur to encik husband. bangun pagi ni 7.30am. hahaha....i bangun awal okay, encik husband tu sebok pelok kedap2 tak bagi bangun. haihh...ofis die dekat 5 minit je pon dari rumah. tapi i pon snuggle balik kat bawah ketiak dia. bukan selalu dapat tidur berdua camni. kalau baby sophea ade, haruslah pelok baby sophea. hahaha...

malam ni katenye nak gi pasar malam. nak borong bahan mentah. yums yums!

Lintas

semalam ribut taufan kan? gila scary. tapi i was from my office tu terang jer pon although masa tu dalam kul 7.00pm. gelap tapi angin pun takde. and macam biasa i dalam train harus tidur. he he he. dulu masa tengok akak-akak yang tidur dalam train ni mengape la mereka tidur kan. tak cukup rehat ke kat rumah?

NOW DAH ADE SOPHEA barulah mengetahui.ha ha ha!

actually bukan tidur sebab penat, tapi sebab rasa tu jerr free time yang ade nak tidur. so anyway, tertidurlah saya dalam train, tau2 bila dah keluar tunnel hujan selebat-lebatnyer. cehhhh patut la sedap2 je tidur. hikhik!

abang kite amek kat station, punyelah ramai orang. lepas tu satu lagi tak faham dengan orang yang memandu kereta. KORANG MEMANG TAK BOLEH BAGI JALAN KAT PEJALAN KAKI KE NAK MELINTAS? dah la masa tu hujan lebat, korang dalam kereta kot, TAKKAN BASAH. and sah2 yang jalan kaki tu basah. so bagi la diorang lintas dulu. ni pejalan kaki yang kena tunggu tepi jalan dalam hujan nak bagi orang bawak kereta lalu.

tak faham la dengan manusia yang ada attitude macam ni. tak kisahlah melayu ke cina ke india ke kadazan ke, rasanya agama korang semua ajar kan sifat BELAS KASIHAN sesama makhluk? *geleng2 kepala* so please k, starting from today, please be alert dengan orang sekeliling, especially orang yang 'lemah' dari kita. eg macam kes pejalan kaki dgn pemandu kereta tu tadi la.

***

malam ni dating dengan boyfriend kat hotel. woot woot....eee, tak sabar sangat rasa nyer. ha nampak tak ke eksited an i tu?yela, dah lame tak berdatingan macam ni. tapi kadang2 dating berdua, our topic mainly about sophea. budak kecik demok ciom shedapp tu...he he he.

oh, sophea sekarang dah start to recognized people. so dia dah macam nak and taknak kat orang. aiyoo...difficult la like this. takut die meraung dengan orang. hrmm... how to encounter eh?i know....meet mo re people! socializing! heeee..... ok daddy, dah boleh start bawak sophea jalan2 pergi playground...

eh oklah, nanti sambung borak.

nak prepare exam...daaa!

Lelaki suka perempuan yang macam mana

ramai lagi rupenya yang the same age as I yang belum kahwin lagi. yang takde boyfriend pun ade. no, bukan salah korang. and takde kurangnye korang kalau takde boyfriend. awesome lagi ade la! but truly said, lepas i sekolah, lepas SPM, i already met encik husband and until now i am still with him. alhamdulilah but i dont know what would i do, kalau dia pergi macam tu saja. but yeah, macam mereka yang belum ada teman tu, i guess they ARE strong. apart from that, you all dah terpelihara dari dosa2 maksiat like pergi dating and all that stuff. heh...cool beans kan??

janganlah risau kalau you all dah terasa macam "hello...dah tua apehal aku takde boyfriend lagi ni?". kan Allah dah janjikan setiap yang hidup berpasangan. jadi sampai masanya ade lah. selalu orang kate save the best for last. jadi, jangan putus asa dan berserah kat Allah, kerja Tuhan manelah kite tau kan. ;)

best ke dah kahwin? frankly speaking, memang best, untuk orang yang homey macam i dengan encik husband. agaknye sebab dari kecik kitorang memang dah dibesarkan dengan persekitaran kondusif (ha nampak ayat buku kat situ...ha ha ha), so kitorang lagi rela melepak kat rumah and doing our things rather than go out and doing things that we did not like. mungkin untuk orang yang jenis keluar malam, selalu lepak luar, kahwin akan jadi perkara yang membosankan. mungkin.

tapi Allah, i really love spending time with encik husband (or family back then) kat rumah. kadang weekend tu bangun pagi gila, semata nak kemas rumah, and do some awesome cooking untuk encik husband. rasa macam masuk master chef ha ha ha. dan selalu nye i mesti pass with flying colours...prftttt. dah memang kau je yang masak, haruslah dia makan. hikhik... pastu bila dah petang dalam kul 1 camtu, semua dah bersih dah siap. rasa tenang je. so boleh la golek2 gurau2 kat umah.

no, bukan lah setiap weekend kitorang kat rumah je. sometimes keluar jugak. tapi macam perasaan 'nak keluar' tu jarang ade. and we seldom come up with a question, "keluar jom?". jarang. but i guess im lucky sebab encik husband pun jenis homey. kalau die jenis kaki lepak, mau makan hati berulam jantung...he he he.

so, kawan i ni dulu, ade boyfriend, Germanian. jatuh cinta sungguh la ni. but tetibe mamat German ni tinggalkan dia, and she thought he left her for another girl. turned out, he left her for another guy!! he? left her? for a guy? com'on...hahahahaha.....see, bukan i nak cakap ade boyfriend tu tak bagus, tapi kalau dah jadi camni, tak ke susah? kalau dah bawak kahwin? ha camner?

ni bukan kawan i sorang tau, masuk kes mamat germany ni dah 3 kes. adoi laa...ti hii...

ok, macam biasa nak share tips. tips macam mana nak lelaki suka kat kita. (ha'ah kak jemah...macam la lelaki tu suka sangat kat kau....) ha ha ha....no no, saje nak share. tapi kalau tak suka dah nak buat camne kan.

1. ade orang cakap, lelaki suka perempuan yang nampak sikap keibuan. i rasa bukanlah macam lelaki nampak kite terus,  "that's a mother to my daughter!". dah macam rapist kot. hahaha....i rasa lelaki suka perempuan yang nampak lembut, soft and kind hearted. kite pun tak suka kalau mak kite garang2 kan. so cuba jadi lembut, dari segi percakapan dan perbuatan.

2. lelaki suka orang bagi perhatian kat dia. ha, sama macam perempuan yang suka perhatian (mode:indenial), lelaki pun same jugak. cuba bagi perhatian yang tidak berbelah bagi. macam kita tak suka di madukan, atau dijadikan diantara beberapa pilihan perempuan lain, lelaki pun camtu. let's say kalau you all ade beberapa pilihan pun, tak payah lah nak mention kat semua orang. takut nanti ade orang yang suka menyampai2. dengki katenye.

3. lelaki suka perempuan yang bersih dan terurus. macam baju mestilah bergosok or takde wrinkles2 kalau keluar dating, kuku semua terjaga, bau wangi. sedangkan kite pun geli tengok orang tak terurus, nikan pula lelaki yang memang suka benda cantik jer.

4. lelaki suka perempuan bijak. bijak tu bukan lah bermaksud kena hafal semua equation physics, tau jenis2 cell and tissue dalam badan, ataupun tau the end product of process esterification camtu. means, bila kita bercakap tu, dia tau kite tak bodoh. tapi jangan pula tunjuk pandai. bersederhana saja. hik!

banyak lagi sebenarnye.

tapi yang paling penting BE YOURSELF.

apelah guna nyer berpura2 dan menjadi bukan diri kita untuk bahagiakan orang lain. berapa lama boleh tahan pun? so, be yourself, insyaAllah, ade je yang tengah tengok2 awak dari jauh. tiba masa, datanglah dia kat awak tu.

heee....

ps: seronok plak cinta2 nie....hik...