This is The Time

actually i wanted to give 'this is it' as the title of this entry, tapi kang ada orang claim michael jackson punyer final autobio movie dia plak, so with a slight changed i bagi la tajuk lain.

so, as the clock strike 12 which i suppose dah masuk hari baru, i don't get any answer regarding one of the most influencial question in my life, so things are not going to be the same again after this. you know, i had planned my life as what i want, because i don't want to waste any time, effort, feelings, etc etc although i know Allah has already plotted them for me. it was just a simple request as i thought all this while, this is what it was supposed to be. but no, it wont happen. and im tired, tunggu for nothing. i've decided to make it on my own. and i was quite ASHAMED with myself sebab i want it so badly but in the end, takde pape.the problem is, macam mana nak bagitau my family. i dah crack kepala fikir ayat yang paling sopan and less hurting. but maybe, the simplest answer should be, "tak tahu..". tapi so annoying kan?

regarding to that, at least i know lepas ni nak buat apa. sebenarnya sama jer klau the above matters jadi pun, cuma it should be a happy leaving, tapi now neutral leaving.

anyway, gaji tak masuk lagi. ingat nak beli nombor baru plus handphone. since ayah sangat baik hati to pay in advance and pay him back secara installment without any interest, sekarang masih tercari-cari handphone yang WORTH it. paling penting mesti ada wifi. HR cakap, kalau gaji bagi awal-awal nanti staff lari. sangat siot dia berkata begitu. by the way, kenapa iphone sangat mahal?tiba-tiba terminat..T_T

i read a book regarding personality, and i began to accept myself, and i began to realized my strengths and weaknesses. and sekarang, i took my work as what i am good at (strength) and perbaiki kelemahan. kelemahan tak tau ape sebab tak habis baca..haha!

tadi kat ofis best gila. masuk 9.30, boss datang lambat so dalam pukul 10 baru on desktop. lepas tu borak-borak, catch-up news nak dekat 12, itupun bos yang ajak okay. lepas tu baru buat kerja. MQA's coming so banyak documents nak kena handle. finished sorting at 2.30pm. lepas tu boss ajak bayar saman, pergi la balai polis. sekali ramai gila que up, balik la dengan hampa. tapi tak hampa sangat la sebab boss belanje sundae McD and tak hampa sangat sebab dapat bermain mata dan bertukar senyuman dengan abang polis. sampai ofis dalam 3.30pm, i masuk pantry makan. oh, i memang selalu tapau lauk rumah, selain jimat ia jugak sedap. habis makan pukul 4pm. lepas tu bukak email chatting dengan my friend, pasal love crisis. dalam 5.30pm habis.jangan ingat i tak buat kerja, tangan i cekap bermain computer (thanks to dinner dash) so multitasking bebeh! berhenti tea time, borak-borak dengan boss sampai pukul 6. buat kerja situ sana sikit, 6.15pm off desktop, ready nak balik. turun bawah sampai depan mesin puncher, pukul 6.28pm. memang la tak boleh punch. masuk board room, tengok view cantik gila, keluar balik punched tepat 6.30pm. terus balik.

so im beginning and trying to love my job. tapi esok dah start teaching, mesti busy sangat. T_T

okay nak tido.selamat malam.

ps: i was in love and i forgot what it feels like when you were in love.