They way i want you is not the same way as You want me.

have you ever feel like, all this while you had been telling the same damn thing over and over again until the day that you finally assumed that the person would had at least understand the whole thing, but in the end the person is (still) doing the same thing, over and over again?

is it what we called miscommunication, or plain stupid?

*****

it's been two weeks straight, i did not get my saturday and sunday off (i work from monday until friday) due to the workload. it is not about someone paksa me to go to work, it came from a thing called, responsibility. and of course OT claiming. what else?so of course im off to work esok.

i just went back from a friend's wedding at negeri sembilan. okay my friend sangat la cantik with the purple dress and the makeup-fulamak i tell you!hikhik...it was fun watching people getting married. you know why?because we know that guy HAVE already decided to take her as a wife and to live forever with her. isn't sweet? agaknya kalau i la kahwin, mau berhari-hari menangis sebab i know (at last) there's somebody actually in love with me. and i just want to thank him like everyday for everything.

haihh...sebak plak. takpela.

*****

pernah tak ada kawan yang janji nak belikan you something tapi sebab you taknak jumpa orang tu atas sebab-sebab yang tak dapat nak elakkan, tiba-tiba dia cakap nak bagi kat orang lain benda tu? same macam mula-mula dia nak ajak kau pergi tengok wayang, tiba-tiba kau tak boleh nak pergi, dia ajak orang lain? atau sebenarnya dia memang HARAP kau jangan jumpa dia sebab dia MEMANG nak bagi benda tu kat orang lain dan of course nak tengok wayang dengan orang lain.

sebab kalau i la kena macam tu, memang hancur luluh la hati jantung ni. memangis berhari-hari la kiranya. mood out and feel so damn USELESS. tapi......at least i know, im not that SPECIAL anyway in that person's life. kan?

kadang-kadang hidup berkawan nie, kita boleh tau la samada dia memang nak kawan kita, atau kawan masa memerlukan je. boleh fikir sendiri dah kot.

*senyum sinis*

Lebih Penting dari Yang Sedia Ada

semalam pukul 3.30pagi baru sampai rumah. nasib ayahanda sangat baik hati nak amik kat ofis. masa tu banyak teksi dengan drag queen je kat bawah ofis. seram. nak sangat jumpa gay yang hensem, tapi takde pulak. dah penat-penat jumpa lelaki hensem walapun gay sejuk jugak hati.kedai-kedai kat bawah ofis dah macam kedai-kedai zaman koboi. deserted dengan kertas terbang-terbang. back to the story, ingatkan kerja pensyarah ni senang jer, rupanya lebih teruk. at one point, sebenarnya dah boleh sedar nak kaya takde jalan yang senang, semua susah.

cerita pasal kaya, rupanya susah nak cari duit ni eh?ingatkan senang. sebab dulu masa zaman tak kerja lagi, mintak mama dengan ayah duit macam mintak air masak kat dapur je." yah, takde duit la. bank in kan enam ratus bole?". itupun SMS je. gila kurang ajar. dahla orang tua tu penat-penat cari duit, kita mintak untuk personal use je plak tu. oh, kan duit beli buku, stationary, flight kapal terbang tak masuk dalam pocket money. sekarang, duit sendiri pun by the end of the month tersekat-sekat.

betul orang cakap. lagi tinggi gaji, lagi banyak expenses. tapi kalau gaji rendah, keinginan lagi lebih dari orang yang gaji tinggi. tak boleh jugak.

banyak benda-benda yang dulu pandang sebelah mata jer dah pandang guna dua mata. dan dah stop pun. kalau it keeps on going, alamatnya, duit habis macam tu jer. lepas tu alhamdulilah i dah tukar from Maxis Prepaid to Digi Postpaid. lebih 100% perubahan expenses tu.so far so good. and so far lebih murah. seriously.

next gaji banyak nak settle. and nak ketepikan. walaupun gaji naik, setelah tolak semua agak paras hidung la. dulu masa zaman sekolah selamba badak pergi makan TGIF, apsal sekarang macam tak boleh nie?pelik sangat ni. dulu duit dapat rasanya tak sampai separuh gaji tapi hidup jer, sekarang? hidup jugak tapi macam zombie sikit. sikitlah.

kita manusia ni, kalau nak cakap tu, jagalah hati orang sekeliling sikit. jangan main cakap jer. im not sure tapi kalau kita kecikkan hati orang, berdosa tak?tak tahulah. tapi yang i tau kalau menyakitkan hati manusia lain kira aniaya maka berdosa?takpe, nanti kita rujuk ustaz sikit. so, kalau nak update status ke ape ke, kira dulu perasaan orang yang membaca. somewhere somehow orang tu kecik hati jugak.

hari ni halfday kerja. seronok betul. buat-buat lemah je kat ofis, boss kasi balik. memang la kasi, sebab lepas ni dia hempuk kerja yang sama jugak. esok nak kena mengajar chemistry. esok lagi biology. tiba-tiba sekarang lebih semangat biology dari chemistry. gila murtad. tapi seronok bila ada foreigners student yang mula-mula macam sombong tiba-tiba jadi baik dan semangat. rasa macam nak kasi A je.

anyway, i ingat dah takde lagi cabaran-cabaran dan dugaan yang akan ditempuh setelah berhempas pulas tahun-tahun yang sebelumnya. rupanya ada lagi. maybe or just maybe im not ought to be the one?

*crying*

ps: rasa macam nak pergi UK sekarang jugak. sekarang la.

Apart of me still

*taknak buat initial. mcm ape je*

kerja sangat berlambak katanye. esok lebih kurang macam kena tidur ofis. nasib baik ofis agak selesa untuk ditidur. so sepanjang minggu lepas balik almost dalam 9pm to 10 pm. then sabtu ahad juga kerja. sepanjang minggu depan juga lebih kurang hari-hari balik waktu yang sama. tapi sabtu ahad mungkin tak datang since ada wedding kawan penting untuk attend. lepas tu rehat sebulan. rehat sebulan tu kiranya boleh balik 6.30pm macam biasa. lepas tu sila pecahkan kepala sendiri.

oh, office issue dah raise makin tinggi hingga ke managing director. susah susah susah. and i sakit kepala fikir semua benda. diluah mati mak, ditelan mati bapak. i was hoping to see my psychologist, sapa lagi orang yang cerdik pandai, encik bf. but he was too busy doing nothing and taknak jumpa i. gila sedih. sedih sangat. sedih sampai nangis-nangis. so from now on taknak tegur dia sampai bila-bila and i dont care. dont even think to find me. period.

oh, salah satu dari azam tahun 2011 dah bermula. jeng jeng jeng. tapi macam tipu-tipu je. eee....so still teruskan juga azam itu. insyaAllah!

my abg sula beli itu kereta putih manyak santek. and sangat jeles. i think i want to sell my Tatum and buy that gorgeous car. tapikan, bontot dia panjang so macam tak payah jela. Tatum pun dah cukup besar dan comel untuk i.

so sekarang nak pack baju, nak masuk dalam beg, esok boleh tidur ofis dah.btw, perlu bawak teddy bebear ke??winduuu!

Extreme Experience

eh hello blog, how are you?

Broga,13Feb2011.i thought i can make it to the top, tapi lagi 500m baru nak sampai puncak.bukan taknak naik, tapi encik bf cakap, top bukit broga tu sempit and seriously, gila ramai orang. so i tak nak pegi and kitorang just lepak kat second pit tengok sunrise pagi-pagi yang hening tu.

it was damn sweet and i really had an intimate moment dengan encik bf masa tengok sunrise. we just sat there, dengan angin yang sejuk,and looking for matahari.in our own world, saya cuma ada dia,berdua di situ. bising dengan orang ramai tapi senyap dan damai. we hardly talk, but we both know we don't have to speak to deliver the love messages.

segala persediaan buat malam sebelum panjat broga.i only managed to get the basic things. encik bf malam tu dah msg nak bawak apa. it was so nice of him telling me to bawak raincoat and everything.

sampai kaki bukit broga ,tiba-tiba dia keluarkan headlight yang dia beli a day before for me. seriously it was damn sweet. headlight okay.i tak terfikir dia akan se-concern itu untuk belikan headlight sedangkan malam tu dia dah suruh bawak torchlight. rasa terharu sangat masa amik headlight tu dari tangan dia. mungkin dia tak tau pun kenapa i macam senyap masa start hiking. sebak kot.

all the way up he was with me all the time. tak pernah sekalipun dia tinggalkan i and like every second dia akan tanya wether i was okay and do i need a break.halfway through, second pitstop i muntah.he took off my sweater and put it in my bag. he took out hersheys choc and asked me to eat some sebab perut kosong tak breakfast dah gatal panjat broga.teruskan lagi jalan, then i stop (masa ni memang tak tahan). muntah lagi sekali. masa ni stop agak lama. four of our friends dah gerak dulu after i asked them to do so.tapi diorang supportive enough and tak pernah putus asa bagi semangat suh i panjat. but i was too slow.

i actually expecting yang encik bf akan cakap, "tula gatal sangat nak naik broga kan dah muntah2.." or "sebab tu saya taknak awak ikut saya dulu..". but he is not even near to that.he cheered for me, tak pernah push me to go faster. untuk setiap tanah yang i pijak, dia akan cakap, "b nampak batu besar atas tu?kat situ kita stop..u can do it sayang..". and yes of course i panjat, and stop kat situ.

mungkin mereka yang lalu sebelah kitorang macam "eleh..gedik gila..". up to you, but i really need that. the supports. and getting support from him is like getting a new invented magical pill to boost up me.it was hard for me. years of a bad lifestyle really took a toll on me. but he was there. dia ada kat sebelah i,giving support.tak pernah herdik, sikit pun dia tak buat i rasa i membebankan dia which i yang rasa i membebankan dia. sampai kat second highest top, we stopped. and yes, i muntah lagi, and pening-pening dah masa ni.


kitorang cari spot untuk duduk, and said a few words. we can see clearer the top of the broga. angin yang sejuk buat i rasa lebih tenang. i ingat dari mula sampai la akhir puncak broga, the way he treated me.i felt so protected bila ada dia.

and naik broga bukan hanya untuk suka-suka, it was a learning process. dia, dalam keadaan yang macam nie, i tau somehow he was born to be a leader. his friends said the same thing too.he knows how to give directions and sort out things. dia boleh jaga i dalam pada masa yang sangat genting. seorang yang sabar dan dia bukan seorang yang suka memperlekehkan orang.

bagi dia, i seorang yang tak cepat mengalah. and yes, i bukanlah sekuat mana dan segarang yang dia sangka. perempuan, memang lemah. i admit that.

kekasih, thanks for giving me the chance to proved who i really am, and thanks untuk semua benda yang you buat untuk i sepanjang hari itu dan selama ini. headlight?damn i never see it coming from you. and yes, i really want to spend the rest of my life with you. insyaAllah.


ps:im having like mad fun dengan the other four friends...i love them!!

faulty

Eh holla blog!how are you?

While I'm composing this entry, I'm in the train heading to terminal putra.now the time shows 8.45pm.I decided to balik lambat today. Anyway when I was in the office, I went through the fb just to checkout any updates or any news, you know.just an ordinary checkout.

Sekali I nampak an update from a very good friend.although dia tak cakap pasal I, still I'm feeling a bit uneasy with the situation.I felt so damn guilty.even until now.

You know, when you are too excited about something,the thing can turn upside down in a split of second if Allah wills it.sebab tu orang cakap tiap satu tu jangan suka sangat,nanti menangis.I feel like crying,and my collegues pun realize it. Tapi I tahan je.

Lepas tu ada suara-suara busuk hati cakap,"tu la..kan aku dah cakap..". Really, siapa yang cakap camni pada orang yang ditimpa kesusahan, memang la busuk hati orang tu.sama ada dia dengki dengan u, atau dia tengah suka sebab u ditimpa kesusahan.

Kita tau ke bila kita akan ditimpa kesusahan?kita tau ke bila decision kita tu adalah salah?kenapa nak kena cakap macam tu?I just don't understand kenapa manusia ni suka lihat kejatuhan orang rather than HELPING them?

I feel so sad.I really am.I just want to say I'm sorry.

faulty

Eh holla blog!how are you?

While I'm composing this entry, I'm in the train heading to terminal putra.now the time shows 8.45pm.I decided to balik lambat today. Anyway when I was in the office, I went through the fb just to checkout any updates or any news, you know.just an ordinary checkout.

Sekali I nampak an update from a very good friend.although dia tak cakap pasal I, still I'm feeling a bit uneasy with the situation.I felt so damn guilty.even until now.

You know, when you are too excited about something,the thing can turn upside down in a split of second if Allah wills it.sebab tu orang cakap tiap satu tu jangan suka sangat,nanti menangis.I feel like crying,and my collegues pun realize it. Tapi I tahan je.

Lepas tu ada suara-suara busuk hati cakap,"tu la..kan aku dah cakap..". Really, siapa yang cakap camni pada orang yang ditimpa kesusahan, memang la busuk hati orang tu.sama ada dia dengki dengan u, atau dia tengah suka sebab u ditimpa kesusahan.

Kita tau ke bila kita akan ditimpa kesusahan?kita tau ke bila decision kita tu adalah salah?kenapa nak kena cakap macam tu?I just don't understand kenapa manusia ni suka lihat kejatuhan orang rather than HELPING them?

I feel so sad.I really am.I just want to say I'm sorry.

Cara-cara menulis surat untuk kekasih?

eh, holla blog!how are you?

hrmm..

semua orang mencari cinta sejati. semua orang. tapi cinta sejati hanya daripada Tuhan kepada hambaNya. itu cinta hakiki. ok ingat tu. tapi untuk hidup di dunia yang biasa-biasa, to have that special someone that you loved so much, that you really want to cuddle and be by his/her side like 24/7 would be GREAT. and mengetahui yang orang itu pun cintakan kita se-infiniti kita cintakan dia, adalah DOUBLE GREAT!

entri kali ini hanya entri biasa-biasa. lebih kepada betapa terima kasihnya saya kepada Tuhan yang Pemurah kerana meminjamkan saya seorang daripada hambaNya untuk mencintai saya, dan peluang untuk saya mencintai dia. Tuhan bagi cinta kami itu lama, 7 tahun kalau dikira dari tarikh rasminya. dan cinta itu tetap utuh dan teguh selama mana kami 'mahukannya'. iya, terima kasih Allah di atas segala-galanya.

tiada sekuntum bunga, tiada makan di hotel bertaraf dunia, mahupun belaian manja. hanya seperti hari-hari lain kami keluar bersama. ke Soho untuk urusan, dan berhenti makan di Ikea, kerana hanya itu yang kami boleh fikirkan sebab perut sangat lapar dan tekak haus menggila.tapi despite all that, ape je yang saya buat kalau ada dia, semua rasa seronok. like seronok sangat.

you can say, "ohh..org bercinta memang camtu..". so it was a positive thing kan? kalau bercinta semua seronok. so tak best, kalau bukan bercinta? bad thing?you know better.

siapa kata cinta 7tahun itu tenang selamanya? in between kadang-kadang ada banjir kilat, kadang-kadang tsunami. tapi belum kiamat, kerana bila kiamat, cinta kami pun habis juga.so anyway, ada masa-masa both of us lupa diri, lupa yang di suatu sudut itu, ada cinta yang menunggu. tetap setia menunggu.walau ape pun. it is great untuk ada someone yang betul-betul setia, kan?

so, dear encik kekasih;

1. terima kasih kerana memberi peluang kepada both of us 7 tahun yang lalu untuk kenal each other.
2. terima kasih kerana masih memilih saya walaupun banyak sangat-sangat dugaan yang kita kena tempuh selama nie.
3. saya tau kadang-kadang saya mencabar kesabaran dan juga ego awak just to make you mad even more. tapi trust me, i love you more than these words can say.
4. im not your super great perfect girlfriend, tapi hanya awak je tahu how great i can be. betapa saya suka puji-pujian yang awak bagi whether awak ikhlas ke tak, but still im loving it.
5. 7 tahun belum cukup untuk saya meluahkan rasa cinta saya kat awak.
6. dan 7 tahun belum cukup untuk awak bagi saya cinta awak tu.
7. terima kasih untuk semua food yang sedap-sedap dan mahal itu. saya akan ingat setiap kata-kata awak sebelum kita makan, "syg, beruntungnya kita dapat makan sedap-sedap macam ni..". saya tau awak ni softhearted dan pemurah. saya tau.
8. terima kasih untuk hadiah yang saya sendiri tidak mampu untuk membelinya. saya suka, dan sayang untuk guna, dan saya nak lagi untuk hari-hari yang akan datang..haha..
9. terima kasih kerana bersabar dengan saya bila saya mengamuk dan emo out of nowhere, bila saya tuduh awak macam-macam, bila saya totally ignored you bila marah sangat, dan bila saya jadi your-not-perfect-gf at all.

tapi saya takkan lupa bila;

1. saya had a fight dengan one of my gf masa kat sarawak tu sebab diorang fitnah saya, saya call awak in the middle of your class masa kat terengganu dulu padahal masa tu kita tengah gaduh,you picked up the call and calmed me down. saya menangis bagai nak gila thinking macam mana nak present projek, but you were there sayang, sampai saya stop menangis. give me strength and support when IN NEED.
2. awak sebenarnya masih dengan saya selama satu jam yang awak decide nak balik. masa tu kat KLCC. i argued with you about the time. pukul 6 awak balik. i cried sebab i rasa you are not a good bf for me, without knowing sampai pukul 7.30pm awak masih di situ, kat belakang saya, following me wherever i go.takut kalau jadi apa-apa kat saya sebab awak dah balik (konon). macam mana tau? you hold my hand all of sudden sampai saya naik train without saying anything.
3. awak tiba-tiba datang KLIA pukul 3 pagi untuk hantar saya ke sarawak. padahal sebelum tu kita gaduh pasal benda bodoh yang awak buat. saya rasa nak peluk dan ciom awak je, tapi apakan daya keluarga semua ada kat situ. tapi serius macam cerita ada apa dengan cinta. yer, cinta kita sayang.

banyak lagi yang awak buat kat saya. banyak betul kenangan cinta kita. saya ingat, satu-satu semua yang kita lalui. tapi betul, saya bersyukur sangat sebab kenal dengan awak. kita kenal ikhlas dari dulu lagi. bukan sebab harta maupun darjat. kita bodoh-bodoh jer, baru nak 'up' katenya. kan?

so anyway, banyak lagi yang saya nak belajar pasal awak, sebab kita akan continue untuk Chapter 2 Love Story kita soon. very soon. i can't wait, and kita dah plan macam-macam dan doa semoga semua dipermudahkan Allah Esa.

dear encik kekasih, selamat ulang tahun percintaan kita yang ke 7 tahun. saya tetap dan masih cintakan awak seperti selalunya, makin bertambah. saya doakan kita sentiasa menjadi diri kita, dan love each other until the end of time. terima kasih untuk segalanya. halalkan segala makan minum saya, dan saya harap semuanya akan baik-baik untuk kita dua.

i love you sayang, i truly am..

The One who Loves You,

Your Girlfriend

one gone, who's next?

My friend nak berhenti kerja. Apart of dapat better offer, ada sebab lain die berhenti. Cube fikir klau your boss baik gila, staff takkan pergi macam tu je kan. As for me, I really need to stay strong to keep it together.kate nak cari pengalaman kan?

Tp I'm thinking wether keje berlambak tu sapela yang nak buat? Kalau die campak kat I, memang siapla.memang la I ni rajin, tapi agak-agakla kalau semua I yang kena buat.balik ni nak jumpa encik kekasih nak tanye pendapat dia yang bernas.

Oh, arini anniversary kami yang ke 7tahun. Jadi nak hadiah best-best tau syg!!

I don't think you are hot enough for that.

eh holla blog, how are you?=)

the whole day hari ni, im doing my work in a classroom, you know MQA's work. penat kot. dari pukul 9.30pm sampai pukul 6.00pm non stop. itu pun after my friend datang suruh balik office since she was all alone and boring. thanks for the HP sebab boleh la jugak SMS-ing the boyfriend, and i was like laughing and enjoying my work so much since i rasa i ada dia temankan i buat kerja. yang penat sikit sebab i took all the assignments, mid-term and final papers out from the P&C room, then nak cari all the papers pun satu masalah jugak.

lunch tu im not feeling that hungry, tapi sebab all the friends dah ajak makan so pergi jugak. hari ni kitorang makan KFC . the only fast food i enjoyed much mesti kfc, bukan popeye, carl's junior, and not even mcd.

sebenarnya nak cerita pasal lunch tadi. tapi panjang pulak introduction dia.anyway, masa sampai kat kfc tu, punya la penuh orang nak lunch. takut tempat takde i asked my friend to jaga tempat and i go buy the food. another friend of us datang lambat. so sebenarnya nak cerita pasal perempuan yang beratur depan i. this girl beratur dengan her friend. ok fine. diorang okay jer.

tapi tiba-tiba bila dah nak dekat sampai kat kaunter (macam lagi 3 orang customers) kawan perempuan depan i ni datang and asked them suruh belikan. tapi you know what, macam kind of pushy. muka minah dua orang depan i ni dah berubah. i think diorang comes from the same tempat kerja but tak rapat sangat. nak tak nak kena jugak belikan.

things yang i dont like:
a) kau tak kenal sangat tapi kau guna diorang just untuk kepentingan. i hate that ALOT!
b)i dont mind if you SAMA2 queue for the food although you cut cross orang belakang, tapi bukan suruh belikan okay. aku bukan kuli batak kau. UNLESS i wanted to do so, and you are my good friend and i love you.

minah tu datang tiba-tiba terus buat order kat akak kfc yang selalu pre-order dulu sebelum kaunter, bagi duit and blah. bila sampai kaunter dah nak bayar dia datang balik. lepas tu i think dia nak "have it here" rather than "take away". tapi kawan dia bungkus semua sekali. pastu dia boleh cakap, "laaaaa....kenapa bungkus sekali!" sambil buat muka macam rolls eyes la macam tu.

weh angin weh. dah la tak hot despite kau pakai tudung tapi buruk perangai. ok takde kena mengena. kesian la kat kawan-kawan kau tu. haihh...sakit jiwa nyer. nak lunch pun tak senang. maybe bagi korang it's okay, normal, but for me kalau hidup untuk menyusahkan kawan pun tak guna sangat.

tapi ada satu lagi cerita. haritu we all pergi dating dekat mana ntah and orang ramai gila, rasanya kat klcc kot. then we saw this one couple beli food sama-sama oh how sweet. tapi lepas tu gelabah cari seat. bak kata encik boyfriend, tak boleh ke boyfriend je beli and the girlfriend seat at one place? but i said, romantik la sayang beli sama-sama. i always think it that way. tapi encik boyfriend cakap susahlah macam tu, buang masa pun yer.

as for me and encik boyfriend, kitorang take turns beli food. i mean maybe this week dia beli food and next week i beratur beli food. tapi selalunya dia je yang beli.

he maybe not a romantic kind of guy, tak romantik dengan kata-kata, tak pandai pujuk (really!), tapi in some other way dia romantik la jugak macam beli food, bawakkan barang shopping (not handbag unless kat sungai wang, BB ke tapi dia tak kisah bawak handbag atas sebab keselamatan, yang pasti dia tak malu, lagi malu kau jadi bf and beg gf kau kena copek and you can't do nothing about that, kan?). and kita as gf pun kena tau jaga air muka bf anda.

ok whatever, banyak pulak membebel malam nie.

nak tengok legend of the guardians..bye!!

10 reasons why...=)

hey holla blog!how are you?

alhamdullilah. im just so thankful and grateful for having these:

1. that im still a Muslim. i always have this faith.
2. that i have a family that always suport me no matter how, no matter what. through ups and downs.love them no matter how cruel my life could be.
3. i have already graduated for both diploma and degree. looking forward for my master and phd.
4. i have an amazing boyfriend for these 7 undoubtly great lovely years. it always fun having him around my life and i never regretted for being such a loyal gf to him. i love him, so much that i can't tell him how much he actually meant in my entire life.
5. and i have a lovely FMIL and FFIL in you know what i mean. can't wait to make it an official.
6. i have a job that i work hard for it and actually earn my own check.
7. i have a car. although it is not my dream car, tapi having the fact i got him to carry me around Malaysia dah cukup menggembirakan.
8. i have two houses. walaupun bukan officially mine, tapi since im living in it, boleh la kan. thanks to ayah and mama.
9. i have a good health and body condition. i've been into a critical disease before but thank you Allah for giving back my life that i borrowed from you for these 24years.
10. i have a few good friends. noted the few. thanks dear for always be there although kita tak selalu jumpa.

damn life couldn't be better than these 10 greatfulness..haha!!i love you guys and looking forward to have you till the day i die. amin.

Status FB punya angkara

memang direct to the point la kan punye tajuk entri this time. eh holla blog, how are you? starting from today onwards, my blog will starts with "eh holla blog, how are you?" for the rest of my life. geez....hardwork!

anyway, memang nak cerita pasal status kat facebook, yang kawan-kawan saya post, ops!kawan ke?lemme check it out later.and annoying kinda status.



Contoh 1:
"boss naikkan gaji seribu je bulan ni. bapak sikit!"
- tak bersyukur or berlagak sangat.

Analysis: sebenarnya dia nak kita cakap betapa beruntungnya dia dapat gaji tinggi, siap naik plak tu. lepas tu pungpang la.haishh..



Contoh 2:
"kawan-kawan kerja cakap saya ni comel..betul ke?"
- status untuk seeker attention. totally!!(macam bangang)

Analysis: selalu yang post ni, dia adalah seorang yang tak famous waktu zaman belajar-belajar dulu tak kira sekolah atau universiti. macam alter-ego, hanya di internet yang dia boleh cakap camtu. pernah ke anda duduk semeja dengan kawan anda and tanya, "weh, aku macam orlando bloom ke?kawan aku cakap camtu dowh!".



Contoh 3:
" homaigoddd...dah gemok sangat nie..tak cantik dah..=("
- yang cakap kurus, rambut blonde, sexy...urgghh!!

Analysis: kawan-kawan help her by saying, "babe kau lawa la. mane ada gemok. cantik macam jeniper lopeh...". help them people, please satisfy them the way that they wanted to.



Contoh 4:
"padan muka jantan sakit mental..terhegeh-hegeh sangat!"
- double meaning. one way of telling, "hello, look at me im fucking hot"

Analysis: ni lebih kurang macam kat atas. nak kawan-kawan dia cakap, "ye ar kau kan santek gila, mesti ar ramai suka kau..". ha, riak riak!



Contoh 5:
"perangai macam sial. tak berubah-berubah.kalau kau suka sangat amek la. baik gi mati!"
- gaduh dengan bf/gf. esok tau-tau nak kawen dah.

Analysis: ni paling benci macam nak mati. sebab laki yang kau kawen ni, kau dah busukkan dan burukkan SEBELUM kau kahwin dia. kalau sebelum kahwin kau dah buka/pandai/ sesuka hati aibkan dia, tak mustahil dah kahwin citer kain dalam laki bini pun kau nak citer. pantang aku.

******

Fine. kadang-kadang bila kia penuh dengan emosi, kita tend tu tulis apa yang kita rasa. lagi-lagi kaum Hawa. i pun pernah (kot) agaknya la tulis status macam tu. tapi usually kalau i try nak tulis untuk seseorang misalnya kawan, bos, bf, selalu benda tu i tulis secara general dan tak nampak sangat kepada seseorang. Contohnya,

"haihh....benci nya kat dia, tapi rindu..."

untuk bf boleh? boleh!
untuk kawan? boleh!
untuk kucing? boleh!
ha kan, senang!

actually ini semua perception masing-masing. you know, the way you look and interpret for certain situations. Allah bagi minda dan fikiran jadi sila guna. mungkin bagi anda, status di atas adalah biasa dan normal. so up to you guys!

Promoted..Alhamdulilah!

student boleh tahan memeningkan kepala. ada yang panggil teacher, ada yang panggil miss, ada jugak yang panggil Mem'. tapi paling tak boleh tahan diorang panggil Kak. but i don't care, as long as diorang tak panggil hoi ke, kau ke, i still can tolerate with that. but i prefer Mem, although im not married yet.

susah jugak bila class ada foreigners. i need to be extra careful, takut nanti semangat explain dalam BM, diorang tak faham. but so far so good. aihh, jadi tenaga pengajar ni kena yakin sikit walaupun ketiak basah-basah la jugak masa kelas 3 jam tadi. nasib keyakinan berada di tahap tertinggi.

tapi paling seronok bila dapat cuci mata tengok the boys. ada sorang tu memang i suka usha, especially masa i jadi invigilator hari tu. sekali masuk plak kelas i, lagi la semangat. he was the first one to asked me a question. tapi takut-takut jugak masa i suruh kira partial pressure kat whiteboard.

but then, kelas petang dari pukul 2 sampai pukul 3 petang i tunggu student, sorang pun tak datang. bukan nak SMS ke ape. hangin jugak i, tapi naseb i boleh bermalas-malas kat office. tapi sebab bermalas-malas la i jadi terlebih rindu kat encik bf.

anyway, i was promoted to be the Head of Science Programme, after 2 months kerja sana. that was quite fast right?but i guess i did very well, i mean the performance. tapi i tak cakap kat my collegues pasal promotions ni, sebab diorang lebih senior dari i and i taknak diorang kecik ati since ada konflik sikit. naik pangkat naik la gaji kan?so friends, i tau you guys nak wish congratulations, tapi tak payah la kat FB, nanti kantoi plak. you get what i mean?

encik bf, thanks for the wish tapi i had to delete all your comments okay??you can wish me with a kiss this saturday. afterall i open-table for you and gorgon also. damn i miss that cute guy. bring him over jugak dah cakap kan..

so, i hope in a next 5 years, i jadi Naib Canselor Universiti pulak ke, or better, i nak jadi Menteri di Kementerian Pendidikan, jadi boss kepada my bf (or husband) that time..kita tengok sape yang bossy lepas nie..hikhik!!

ps: nak apply for another job.

Just The Way You Are..

you know, girls are hard to handle. ok sorry, most some girls are difficult to handle. i know that, because im a girl. we are not that difficult to be handle actually, it is just you (men) should know how to handle us girls.

and most of the time, the girls will always dissapointed when we don't get what we want. for example a Gucci bag an attention from you men.i don't know if it just girls asking too much of a favor or men are just plain stupid.

but hello, boys out there haven't you heard of Bruno Mars? i think he is one of the sexiest men alive. this song below is how guys should treat their girls. i mean com'on. write a sweet gorgeous song like this and sing it to the whole world is a MUST. Bruno's can, why can't YOU?

anyway, since im not in a good mood and i need something to cheer me, i selected this song and pretended that that special someone is singing this song for me, or better is thinking of me like Bruno's did for his girl.

i almost burst into tears when i listened to this song. quite meaningfull.



suatu hari nanti, i just want to go sit by the beach at night,looking at the shining stars with my beloved someone and he is playing his guitars, singing me this song with his eyes. i MIGHT fall in love again with you again..and again..and again..and again till the day i die..<3

i nak letak sekali the lyrics because i can't never get enough of it..love it so much!

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

ps: im gonna listen to this song whenever i feel lost..ha hamekkk!!

Go Away to A Place

Rindu dah sampai. Kat tempat yang paling jauh, dan yang paling dalam. Dia punya sakit, jangan tanya la macam mana. Sampai sekarang pun boleh rasa lagi. I can't find the right medicine for it.

Hopefully seminggu dua hilang la rasa macam ni. Because i can't stand it anymore. Sebab rasa ni buat I hilang fokus untuk beberapa harinya. or mungkin bertahun lamanya. so please go away.

It's about time. it's about time.........

ps: Stay strong girl. there's nothing to be worried for...=)

Great T-Day!

Seronok betul cuti thaipusam hari ni. hit the bed sama macam hari kerja yang lain, bezanya waktu bangun. selalu hari kerja bangun pukul 7.40am, tapi hari ni bangun pukul ...erm..haihh, tak payah la nak mention kat sini sebab agak tak sopan untuk perempuan baik bangun around that time. teehee..

frankly speaking, i enjoyed the minute i woke up. handphone sejak beberapa hari ni senyap sunyi and the battery was out, jadi better off kan saja.tapi i rasa handphone i merajuk tu sebab dengar, kes dia dah kena replace tapi tak tau lagi la nie. sangat berkira yer bila i have to spent like more than 1K for a stupid handphone. then bangun kemas-kemas bilik sikit, i added a side table to my bedroom since barang kerja macam notes, books, student's assignments suma nak letak mana kan so ada meja ni amat membantu. it is a table i bought a long long time ago from Ikea tapi still the bOm. ingat i nak turun Ikea la nanti nak buy this table.

which one is good?my old one is in wood colour so the pink or the red one? tengok la nanti since kat Ikea sekarang macam-macam warna boleh dapat. hrm..esok i ada rumah sendiri, semua i nak in bold colour. yang penting ada spotlight dengan aircond. barula boleh beramah romantik dengan encik suami di ruang tamu sambil menonton How I met Your Mother sambil makan popcorn. oh yer, mesin popcorn pun kena ada. lepas tu dua-dua tidur kat living hall tak masuk bilik popcorn berterabur atas lantai while the tv is still on pastu kena hurung semut. buruk perangai wehh.

so lunch tadi mama masak ayam kari terbaik. lama siot tak makan sedap macam tu. ni kari kasih sayang okay. ingat nak tambah tapi apakan daya. masuk dapur basuh pinggan sambil tengok rice cooker kat sebelah kiri. dalam hati, "bye bye CC(nasi-nasi)...i see u tomorrow.." tsk...T_T lepas tu tengok TV dengan ayah dengan mama, cabut uban mama sini sikit, sana sikit pastu ngelat. dulu-dulu rajin la jugak nak cabut uban diorang, tapi sekarang haihh...liat!

then masuk bilik tukar sarung bantal yang dah seminggu tak tukar euwww disgusting betul. i know i know u all atleast dua hari sekali dah tukar kan?i know, saya sangat termalu dengan kemalasan saya. im too busy trust me. tapi i dah tukar, yeay!! hari tu beli cadar baru in blue, santek sangat tapi malas malu nak tukar so nanti la.

cosy sangat kan? rasanya double cosy bila ada encik suami boleh cuddle-cuddle dalam aircond sambil main PSP sama-sama rebut-rebut. ok berangan but cossyyyyy kan??i dont like blue that much but blue's nice.hee..

then petang tengok that two romantic old folks tengah romantically having their gardening time kat luar, i just sat there on the bench looking at how lovely of them spending their old time together.would i have the same kind of man who's going to love me until the wrinkles show up, until the day i die? i hope so. sambil tengok diorang sambil makan limau raya cina tu, tiba-tiba.."mama, don't cut my grass!!". ada ke patut mama potong sesuka hatinya my crawling plants. tak patut..my house lagi 60% nak jadi macam fairytale punye taman, and wedding i harus macam fairytale, then dia potong.haishh...so terpaksa la buat wedding kat hotel cenggini..kakakaka...alasan semata. tiba-tiba hujan.

so tau-tau dah petang. i iron my baju, oh esok pakai baju ayu (baju ayu=baju kurung), esok nak jadi ayu since semalam dah pandai borak-borak dengan Mr.A kat office siap ber i-you i-you mengada-ngada sungguh. siap tanya tak balik lagi ke?? Mr.A kalau i jumpa mesti berpeluh sakan. aik, nervous sangat ke dengan i?esok kalau selisih i nak cakap hai la sebab selama ni kalau selisih mesti i pandang bawah (cover cun la konon..menyampah!).

so sekarang dah golek-golek atas katil. semoga hari esok akan lebih baik dari hari ini yang baik. sabtu we are going to have a party kat Cheras and tido rumah abang sehari. kita nak swimming the whole day, yeay!!

ps: it takes me awhile to stay awake..=)

PTPTN

there's a thing about a person called, peminjam. seperti yang kita sudah sedia maklum, orang yang bernama peminjam, dia akan susah untuk menukarkan statusnya kepada pembayar. untuk skop yang lebih kecil, kawan-kawan kita yang pinjam duit kat kita atau orang lain. jumlah yang kecil, dari rm5, rm10, and kalau yang lucky enough, dapat la pinjam barang rm100 or rm200. tapi kalau kita tengok historynya, amatlah susah sekali untuk bayar. bayar lump sum memang tak termaktub dalam kamus hidup, lagi haru kalau dia bayar rm1 setiap bulan. kita sebagai orang yang meminjamkan malu jugakla nak mintak balik (which i think for chinese is not a problem) tapi padahal itu adalah tanggungjawab si peminjam untuk bayar balik.

for a larger problem here, macam biasa orang yang meminjam duit dari satu intitusi yang terkenal kita panggil PTPTN. okay bagi orang yang tak tahu, setiap pinjaman MESTI ada interest untuk dibayar balik. so kalau korang nak elakkan dari kena interest, pinjam dekat mak bapak, sedara-mara atau kawan-kawan. tapi kena tahan bebelan dan sindir-menyindir macam biasa takkan tak tau plak kan.

PTPTN bagi pinjam duit kat korang untuk tanggung korang masa belajar, untuk sesi belajar. bukan untuk korang beli jeans Levis baru, dan bukan untuk bermegah dengan handphone baru tatkala PTPTN masuk dalam akaun korang. jadi jangan membebel2 dan menghina dan mengutuk cakap beban la, interest tinggi la ape la, pastu taknak bayar, pastu nak buat demonstrasi la, buat petisyen la ape la.tidakkah korang ni orang bijak pandai??tidakkah korang tau setiap benda yang korang pinjam ada INTEREST? you are not that stupid, do you?

ni baru PTPTN. belum buat loan bank. korang ingat bank tu bukan loan shark ke??korang belum kena lagi. lagi dia boleh seal rumah and everything and campak korang keluar dari rumah tau. so kalau PTPTN korang belum settle, jangan bijak pandai sangat nak buat personal loan la, nak pakai credit card la. senang cerita, kalau tak mampu jangan berlagak mampu.

untuk adik-adik yang baru nak masuk institusi pengajian tinggi tu, kalau mampu nak bayar sendiri, kalau parents mampu, disarankan bayar sendiri. memang betul, kita akan jeles bila kawan-kawan kita dapat PTPTN, diorang makan besar, pergi cuti sana sini. tapi ketahuilah at the end of the day, mereka akan susah untuk bayar balik. as far as i know, ada orang dah anak 3 pun masih tak dapat nak bayar hutang PTPTN lagi.

sebab in the future kita tak tahu kita dapat kerja yang bagus ataupun tidak. adakah kita mampu untuk membayar balik pinjaman kita. as for me, im not married yet but i have my own commitment macam bayar balik kereta and bagi duit jajan kat parents. itupun i dah rasa berat although ramai cakap for a start, it is a good salary. ini belum kahwin, ada anak, ada rumah. so cuba bayangkan kalau ada hutang PTPTN lagi??

bukan i nak rugikan PTPTN, bukan. PTPTN bagi interest yang paling rendah, tak macam banks. mostly bank kalau loan, interest je 2.00% and above.so bagus untuk tolong orang yang nak belajar. tapi kalau dah pinjam kenalah bayar balik. jangan bila time nak bayar, bebel-bebel macam orang gila mahal la ape la. annoying okay? annoying lagi bila tau masa kau dapat duit PTPTN dulu kau berjoli sakan. kan??

kesimpulannya, setiap orang yang meminjam, haruslah membayar setiap amount yang dia pinjam including interest/bunganya sekali. korang haruslah pastikan sama ada PTPTN (pinjaman) itu perlu atau tidak untuk study. kalau korang MEMANG guna PTPTN untuk study, memang i doakan kejayaan yang tidak terhingga kepada korang, semoga dapat gaji yang bagus untuk bayar balik. tapi seriously, sape guna duit PTPTN untuk berjoli dan beli blackberry, sila masukkan kepala anda dalam bakul sampah sekarang.

What's happening T_T

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
Cause sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed

Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change

Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away

Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's not wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby




ps: All-4-one and Boyz-2-men are my ultimate damn great group that i always fall for..hee..=)

Tears in Heaven

Malam ni sedih sangat.
I cried over and over again until i'm about to run out of breath.
It was so devastated and the only way to expressed it was through crying.

I just want to cry the whole night...please...

Birthday Celebration of a Gorgeous Man

hari ni adalah bukan hari yang lucky. i moved out from office at around 10 walaupun class start at 10am. faham sangat student mesti datang 30minit lambat. i don't care sebab if you pay that much amount of money and you are stupid enough not to study, sukahati. sampai class yang jauh dari office, pendrive 4GB itu tertinggal.

amik kat ofis patah balik gi class. sampai class kali ke-2, charger or cabel laptop takde dalam bag. entah lecturer mana yang bijak sangat tak letak balik lepas guna. then i went back to the office amik kabel. sampai ke class kali ke-3, cabel HP tu tak boleh pakai, rosak mungkin. rasa macam nak carut je tapi i sabar lagi. patah balik ofis amik cabel baru. sampai ke kelas kali ke-4, LCD punya control takde. i dah mula susun ayat nak carut, tapi thanks to one of the student jumpa the control beneath the chair.

lepas habis class, my friend SMSed cakap get ready for lunch. we already knew that a surprise birthday party will be held untuk big boss. so these were what he had untuk lunch tadi.

20 kotak regular sizes of domino's pizza! (ini mastermind dari i, nasib tak order pizza hut)

dalam 60 pieces of hot and spicy KFC chicken. damn, ini paling sedap!!

chocolate indulgence as a great dessert from Secret Recipe..slurrppss!!

then masa tengah-tengah makan tu, i macam biasa la mulut, tangan, kaki mana pernah nak duduk diam. i jalan sana, kacau orang ni, kacau orang tu, cuit food orang, kenal dengan staff yang hensem baru.

banyak lagi food lain macam chicken wing BBQ from dominos, twister bread, donut, egg currypuff and etc. tapi memang tak larat nak makan. i ate 2 pieces of pizza, seketul chicken KFC and 2 chicken wings, tu pun dah nak termuntah dah.

lepas tu masuk office mata dah mengantuk memang sedap kalau dapat golek-golek. ingat nak ngelat kat surau, tapi rasa hina pulak pergi sana bukan nak sembahyang nak tido.

i enjoyed every moment of that since i was accompanied by a bunch of great friends and great foods too!!

ps: happy besday boss!!i dengar i dapat increament??really??yeay!!

Carwash Girl

Setelah dua minggu Tatum tak mandi, akhirnya hari nie i mandikan la jugak dia. kesian dia. nampak murah je, takde dah muka comel happy je bila nampak i. nasib la jugak dia tak merajuk, kalau tak, masak jugak la nak memujuk dia balik. ewahh..anyway, hari ni i nak share apa yang i buat and guna untuk menjaga kejelitaan si Tatum nie. i rasa barang kosmetik dia lagi mahal compare dengan barang-barang kosmetik yang i guna.

Eh chupp!!bagi sesiapa yang tak tahu dan tak kenal Tatum nie, haa..dia nie la pengarang jantung i no 2 selepas encik kekasih. kalau encik kekasih pergi meninggalkan kekasihnya ini, i ada encik kekasih no 2 (spare part la konon).

Firstly, i selalu siram atau make it wet dengan simbah tak pun pancut dengan air, so that senang nak sental dan hilangkan keladak-keladak Tatum ni. since Tatum ni kulit putih mulus dan bersih, tak mandi 2 minggu adalah haru di mana jelas ternyata kesan kotoran degil. kesian Tatum dapat mama yang malas sibuk..T_T

My family selalu gunakan produk ini demi menjaga kesejahteraan sejagat. Tak pernah miss kecuali stock tak dapat. daripada saga dulu-dulu, corona, iswara, myvi, samapi la ke satria, waja, alfa dan bmw, semua guna produk ni. produk ni sangat-sangat bagus sebab dia store the original colour of your car, and shining-shining lagi. ops, i bukan buat promosi di sini, tapi memang ini la kenyataannya. tak mahal dalam RM38 je. and guna dalam quarter of the bottle cap je lepas tu gosok-gosok, sental-sental. bau dia, fuhh...sophisticated gila.

lepas dah basuh dengan yakinnya, i tengok jam baru pukul 6.00pm, rasanya amatlah afdal kiranya i pergi wax sekali si Tatum nie. sebab kulit putih dia dah sikit keladak, waxing (bunyi macam gi buat bikini wax plak) adalah a must. untuk waxing, pilihan tepat adalah guna produk dari Kit. Kit ni sama macam Amway, produk dari USA. bukan tak suka buatan Malaysia, tapi kalau setiap kali pun beli produk ni, kita selesa kan. ala, macam korang kalau dah suka sangat Triumph, takkan korang tiba-tiba nak tuka selera tanpa sebab kan?rasa tak sexy kan?hikhik..tadi waxing memang lenguh tangan macam nak mati dah, tapi apakan daya, sayang punya pasal ku redah jugak. especially yang calar-calar tu (entah siapa yang buat T_T), letak wax banyak gila, sental kuat-kuat. memang terbaik.


Citarasa yang berbeza buat kami tetap bersama. Since encik bf guna ambi pur, i pilih glade. tapi bau kereta dia dah sama macam bau dia. sedappp..*ehem* dulu i pakai glade kelabu, sekarang dah tukar flower pink- typical perempuan seksi sungguh.. eh eh?hikhik...anyway, lama-lama i macam tak suka sangat, terus amik VS pure seduction kasi spray, lagi sedap bau tau.

sambil-sambil kemas, tunggu encik bf sms/call satu hari pun takde dia agak sombong jugaklah hari ni buat i lagi rindu-rindu je kat dia, saya dengar lagu from the favorite, Babyface. memang dah syahdu teringat kat encik bf. semalam dah jumpe pun rindu. sambil-sambil lap dashboard kereta, sambil-sambil susun CD dalam begnya, tersenyum-senyum ingat kisah semalam. ni semua symptom orang tengah bercinta eh?? *senyum*

hrm..ramai orang macam gelak dan mengata, kenapa susah-susah nak buat benda ni semua. hantar jela kedai sepuluh ringgit je pun. well, it's not about the money (err...okla sikit la), tapi i rather do it by my own than wasting time facebooking or blogging. this extra 1 hour, dari i duk terbaring lepak tak berpeluh, baik i buat something yang beneficial. dahla seminggu tak sweating, takan 1hour weekend tak boleh nak sweat sikit.lagipun takde benda lain nak buat kan?

kalau korang kaya bolehla nak hantar sana sini sinun. korang kaya kan?kita yang tak berapa kaya ni, buat sendiri sudah. beruntung siapa dapat gf macam ni, esok suami duk dalam baca paper, isteri kat luaq basuh kereta. oh please..i don't mind. sambil basuh kereta, sambil ngurat abang hensem jiran sebelah tengah basuh kereta dia, boleh tanya khabar sebab bini dia malas nak basuh kereta duk dalam baca paper. lalalala....

anyway, i saved rm10 today for not sending my car to the carwash (err..mula-mula memang macam nak hantar sebab penat semalam dating 1 hari). so this rm10 masuk tabung nak beli benda penting masa birthday (24 Feb) ni. lagipun hati dah girang sangat ni bila encik bf macam tak kisah nak tambah duit kat mana-mana yang berlubang..ngeee..

dah, korang esok ada laki jangan biar dia basuh kereta sorang-sorang kat luar. mana tau akak jiran sebelah dapat laki malas, dia yang kena basuh kereta, naya je korang. then akak tu pakai hot pants t-shirt putih lak kan *ehem*. jaga-jaga cik salmah..

hahahahahahahahaha....

ps: basuh kereta sama-sama lebih romantis katanye. kan b kan? =D

Workload

okay. dah 3 kali ni buat different posts. apa nak jadi pun tak tau la.

anyway, encik bf adalah sangat menggembirakan hati. i love him day by day. i missed him even after we met. and i just need him in my life. i really do.

dahla nak tidor. esok nak prepare presentation plak and prepare questions.

• BKA
• CHM
• BIO
• SC

oh shoot!

It's not about me, it's about knowing yourself.

hari ni kerja so STRESSED out, so i kept on telling myself "hold on babe..hold on..he still loves you..". okayy, memang takde kena mengena my bf dengan kerja, but you know what, by knowing that i have him and that he loves me, it is good enough to source me some energy and keeps me moving. somehow i sedar yang sebenarnya dia yang banyak membantu i untuk teruskan hidup (besides family) and mengharungi cabaran hidup, although i can say that cabaran hidup dari dia je dah 60% (haha!!), but yeah, he's my bestfriend, and i can do anything that i want to him because i know best friend won't leave his friend for some reason. kat office, memang like selang seli i teringat dia, sambil buat kerja.

after 7 years, still i want him so badly. dia ada chanting ape-ape ke nie?hikhik!oh lupa nak cakap, respect is so damn important okay? even if your bf jenis tak kisah dengan perangai you, or cara hidup you, atau the way you talk, laugh and everything, but surely pay some respect to him, especially masa dia kerja, and depan kawan-kawan dia. it's not like you cover cun ke apa, be yourself by not being so too yourself, got what i mean?

hari ni i learned something from the office. not really i learned, tapi knowing something. at 1.15pm i went down the office and bought rojak. sedap gila okay. abang jual rojak tu, memang hari-hari tegur ke ngurat ke i suh beli rojak dia. selalu i passed by je dia punya kedai sebab beli food kat kedai nasi campur lain. so bila dah beli, sedap plak. i rasa dah 3 hari berturut-turut i makan rojak dia..haha! selain murah (RM3.00), sedap and juga healthy food. then we went up to the office and chit-chat up with my collegues.

my collegues cakap, im a very FIRM and STRICT person. i was like so shocked sebab i sendiri pun tak tau that i am like that. err....my bf cakap i ni memang garang, and i agreed with him tapi selalu i rasa i garang dengan dia je tapi bukan dengan orang lain tapi right now my collegues pun dah perasan that thing. masalahnya dia kata, it was a good thing and she wanted to make me as her role model.

then i tanye, "babe, give me some evidence la why you're saying such thing about me. i dont think i was like that..". dia kata that i know what i want and i will stay with my decision. bila i was given a job, anything yang i buat according to me and the great thing is i know how to do it. even the boss was saying, " farah's good. any task that i gave her, dia akan buat a good job..".

but actually i am not. im not firm, and im not strict at all. (sayang...you category lain k?haha..) i guess maybe i go by simple rules and i followed them. i dont know. i dont know what type of person i am. that is why i need them as my CCTV, you know untuk bagitau apa i buat betul and ape i buat salah.

sometimes friends yang lama (old friends), tak nampak perangai sebenar kita sebab dah terlalu immune dengan kesengalan kita, where else, new friends dia bole pick point kita macam mana. walaupun tak tepat, but it helps also somehow.

*senyum*

but i know, and i believed that, walau kat mana pun kita, walau pangkat apa pun kita, walau tinggi mana pun kita, sentiasa ingat untuk berbuat baik kepada orang terutama orang yang susah dan orang teraniaya. Allah itu Maha melihat dan Maha mendengar. jangan risau dan jangan susah hati okay? Allah itu The Best.

Stim??oh wow..

esok boss nak belanja steamboat (kot) atas sebab kitorang sangat hardworking lately especially the other department of mine. diorang yang generate income of the company and our job is to maintain the Customer Service of our clients and future clients perhaps.

esok rasanya lebih baik kita pakai baju kurung sebab perut boleh disorok di dalam baju kurung. kalau pakai skirt kemeja ke ape, macam obvious sangat je buncit tu nanti.

actually diorang dah pergi makan banyak kali without me. diorang non-muslim so selalu pergi kedai jual khinzir, arak dan sebagainya which kita (muslim) tak boleh makan. so perhaps this time around clean and clear la tempat dia.

eee....tak sabar sangat!!

pic credit: google.com

Communication is about me and you.

Setiap orang ada cara mereka yang tersendiri untuk berkomunikasi dengan orang yang mereka sayang. salah seorang daripadanya ialah kekasih. *skema* most of us prefer to meet their love ones everyday, rindu dan tak boleh tido punya pasal. which is great. i mean, hello..u get to see your bf everyday sape taknak, kan?

well, im not that lucky, where i usually jumpa my bf once a week, or once every two weeks, tu tak campur kalau bergaduh ada la once a month je keluar. selain dari our distance (home) is like 45minits of driving tak campur jamm lagi, and both of us are working so untuk jumpa hari-hari adalah mustahil sebab penaat sangat. well, it makes me think, kalau kitorang satu ofis, macam mana pulakkan? should we act like there is nothing between us, or act like a couple should be, atau biasa-biasa je?in my vocab, there is no such thing as biasa-biasa saja. so tett, cannot!

anyway, thanks to the technology, kita ada handphone. itulah medium perhubungan for me and him. and dia, sebagai seorang lelaki yang sibuk (konon), handphonenya selalu sahaja terbiar maka perasaan kekasih hatinya selalu saja disakiti dan dirobek-robek sebab tak dapat nak contact..T_T

but lately, *ehem* encik kekasih macam sweet sangat entah kenapa like every messages sent or received macam berbunga-bunga rasa, pastu kita goes like, "awww...his so sweet!", and kita feels like melayang, and hugging the phone while guling-guling atas katil and say, "i really love this guy.." and start berangan and macam tu la kiranya.

after the years goes by, kitorang sekarang lebih matured in everything we say or do. which is good. as i said before, he is my bf, my friend, my enemy, and the best thing is, he is my very best friend. i can talk almost about anything with him except bila kitorang had a fight, we can't actually speak to each other.i mean, he can but i can't.

so tonight, im kind of missing him walaupun semalam baru jumpa but still i miss him totally. because i enjoyed and had a hell of a fun every second when im with him.or maybe sebab saya tersangatlah cintakan dia sebab tu saya rasa macam ni?mungkin juga but i hope the best for whatever the future will bring.

ps: missing you love~

Craving tapi bukan mengukir (engrave?)

Setelah beberapa kali dengan hampa dan kecewanya pergi jauh-jauh (25minutes of driving) ke damasara nun, akhirnya apa yang dihajati dapat juga. bayangkan the last time me and my bf pergi sana untuk dapatkan benda nie, jauh-jauh nie, hanya McD yang dapat sebab orang ramai gila, padahal yang sebelah rumah i pun boleh dapat kot McD. dahla im not a big fan of McD except for the ultimate fatty high cholestrol french fries, and its apple pie and the icecream (tiba-tiba banyak pulak suka). but that's not the point.

the point is, i went all way through jammed and the expensive toll although memang la the bf yang drove, but still jauhhhh tau. and akhirnya my kempunan itu telah dapat dipenuhi.

tadaa!!

Sweedish Meatballs from Ikea

i know i know. takdelah mewah sangat makanannya compared to the kempunan of frappucino from starbucks, or the swiss burger from tgif but it was my kempunan okay, so i berhak untuk menentukan kempunan i sendiri *tiba-tiba*. .haha!anyway, my bf telah belikan i the largest meatballs meal and it was damn good and i enjoyed every bites of it lebih-lebih lagi bila peneman makan kita itu adalah a person yang kita enjoy the most to be with. sedap gila!!!

my bf chose this meal. it is a new meal due to the spring season agaknya. it was crunchy and the flavour suited my bud taste and his too. ada sauce but i can't recall what is was made or taste of. tapi sedap. licin okay! ( i should have captured the after meal meal kan). but orang ramai gila sebab lunch hour but weekend memang penuh orang okay. dulu tak macam tue sangat but since it becomes a major talk so ramai la yang datang.

before pulang, we tapau the famous currypuff and icecream. and yes, i only took a sipped of the the vanilla icecream and he finished it off. penuh kot makan meatballs tadi. so i guess it will takes another month before im craving back for the meal.

lepas tu kitorang pergi sini, Daiso. semata-mata nak beli pink book holder dengan pink stationary holder untuk my new office.

it was a great outing. dah lama tak jalan-jalan and have fun dengan dia macam hari ni. we don't go for a movie nor we go for a fancy restaurant. but i enjoyed every moment with him and we have something to plan for, don't we sayang? i take this day as my 6 years and 11 month of our anniversary's celebration. still i love you very much indeed.

now what??siapkan powerpoint monday ada class kott...hee..nite!

pictures: credit to google.com source

Papa yang Disayangi

nampak gaya macam tidur lambat je kita hari ni. tapi ape-ape pun, hari ni enjoy gila working. sebab hari ni dapat opis baru, meja baru, kerusi baru dan desktop baru. dengar-dengar macam Macintosh jer, tapi dengar-dengar lagi macam biasa la mesti Dell. tak tau bila sampai since buat major change so it's gonna take awhile for everything to arrive, isn't it? so tadi bertungkus lumus angkat barang and set-up the office. new office lebih panjang dan lebih lebar, mula-mula ingat nak letak cubicle but kitorang taknak since kitorang semua berkawan baik and having fun in a office WITH the cubicle is a no. although susah la nak FB or blogging. nak email dengan kesayangan pun macam terganggu. so there goes my day. hopefully esok lebih better!

jauh menyimpang. i nak cerita pasal papa yang disayangi sebenarnya. *ehem*

haritu, i went for a shopping with my family. we went to KLCC. after jalan masuk Zara, keluar Isetan, masuk M&S, keluar kat MNG, kitorang cuba nak makan dekat Bumbu Desa. siapa tak pernah makan, this was like the BEST makanan minang ever because i ate at BumbuDesa when i (we) was in Bandung for a holiday, kira macam HQ dia la. 2hari berturut-turut makan. damn sedap gila! (encik boyfriend, jom!). so semua restaurant penuh. Madam Kwan's jangan cakap la. tak buat reservation memang harapan la. orang ramai gila kat KLCC, and i dah pening a few minutes after that. lagipun perut dah lapar gila.

so i suggested to mama untuk balik and makan KFC (sahaja) dekat area my house. ingatkan aman la dekat KFC sini, tapi harapan!boleh pulak diorang buat birthday party. and the queues were like damn LONG, and diorang bukak 2 counters sahaja. CONGRATS!!sangat bijak.

mestila i yang pergi beratur beli food (kalau pergi dengan encik boyfriend, i tak pernah okay beratur beli food, he is like the best bf ever!). so i nampak satu uncle, eh takla macam uncle sangat. die macam Eizlan Yusof. putih, matured, hot gila! macam tu la. so kita nak letak dia category mana. abang?sayang?eh eh..bukan..hee.. kita panggil dia Mr.P.

so dia adalah salah satu jemputan ke birthday party kat KFC tu. i can see that he is alone. wife dia takde. mungkin single dad. but the fact that dia melayan kerenah anak lelaki dia dua orang tu really makes my heart melt. anak dia nakal, biasala boys, tapi tak sekali pun dia marah or jentik anak dia. although anak dia nakal, but they behave as such, tak memalukan mak bapak. anak panjat kerusi umah orang lompat2 macam rumah sendiri takde sofa-memalukan.

paling sweet gila, diorang macam ada game. so the children were asked to make a long line using anything they can think of macam kasut, stokin jam and everything. so bila game start, anak Mr.P tu mintak dengan bersungguh-sungguh tali pinggang Mr.P untuk sambungkan the line. masalahnya Mr.P dengan cool cabut tali pinggang tu and gave to his son. and paling comel bila seluar jeans dia longgar, lepas tu boleh lipat-lipat macam pakai sampin sebab nak tercabut la kot. haha...so cute okay!

lepas tu dia panggil anak dia makan, and say "you did a very good job.." walaupun anak dia kalah. ada a few parents yang kelam kabut nak suh anak diorang menang but this guy, dia cool je tengok anak dia main game, and give his own way of support- by giving the tali pinggang and etc. sweet sangat.

as for me, i want my children to have the same education and experience that i had when i was young. my parents taught me well, kalau tak, tak mungkin berjaya macam sekarang ni kan? hahaha...and of course, i want my children to have a papa, and he has a good character macam Mr.P a.k.a eizlan yusof tu.

so guys, nanti dah ada anak sendiri, manja dan garang biar bertempat. okay?heee..=)

ps: now i know who you are.

Eh?hello 2011!!

Gosh, rasa sekejap gila masa berlalu and we are in 2011 now. for your information, im not the one who go out celebrating new year, go partying all night long, dancing on the stage while hugging a few unknown gorgeous man (haha!) what so ever since im a homey, i rather go out with a few friends and lepak at expensive restaurant (after about 2 weeks ikat perut) and have a drink (baca: non-alcoholic) together whilst reminisce our great memories. as for the record, i went out with my coolest auntie and makan besar. there you go. encik boyfriend was on a vacation so, yeah.

looking way back in the year of 2010 (cewahh..), what is/ are my accomplishment(s)?is good or bad?is it as what i expected them to be or what??

1. finished my BSc- almost 3 years of hard work.
2. industrial training with PDRM - after 2 application letters are rejected.
3. have my own white car - after 2 months of waiting.
4. graduated with honoured - alhamdulillah.
5. have a job - enjoting myself.
6. do a part time job - penat but it's worth it.

so 2011, what are the plans? i did have my own list of plan but i rather not to show it, and just try as hard as i could to achieve them, just like what i did in 2010. to get some idea, i wanted to further in MSc, but looks like i'll have to wait for my adik to finish her Dip. so we both will go somewhere together tapi ada plan lain lebih penting dari segalanya yang akan datang in this year 2011, so i have to choose wisely between them.

so happy new year everyone!!let's us work our asses out so we could have a better life for our future!! doakan semuanya selamat sentiasa..amin. =)

This is The Time

actually i wanted to give 'this is it' as the title of this entry, tapi kang ada orang claim michael jackson punyer final autobio movie dia plak, so with a slight changed i bagi la tajuk lain.

so, as the clock strike 12 which i suppose dah masuk hari baru, i don't get any answer regarding one of the most influencial question in my life, so things are not going to be the same again after this. you know, i had planned my life as what i want, because i don't want to waste any time, effort, feelings, etc etc although i know Allah has already plotted them for me. it was just a simple request as i thought all this while, this is what it was supposed to be. but no, it wont happen. and im tired, tunggu for nothing. i've decided to make it on my own. and i was quite ASHAMED with myself sebab i want it so badly but in the end, takde pape.the problem is, macam mana nak bagitau my family. i dah crack kepala fikir ayat yang paling sopan and less hurting. but maybe, the simplest answer should be, "tak tahu..". tapi so annoying kan?

regarding to that, at least i know lepas ni nak buat apa. sebenarnya sama jer klau the above matters jadi pun, cuma it should be a happy leaving, tapi now neutral leaving.

anyway, gaji tak masuk lagi. ingat nak beli nombor baru plus handphone. since ayah sangat baik hati to pay in advance and pay him back secara installment without any interest, sekarang masih tercari-cari handphone yang WORTH it. paling penting mesti ada wifi. HR cakap, kalau gaji bagi awal-awal nanti staff lari. sangat siot dia berkata begitu. by the way, kenapa iphone sangat mahal?tiba-tiba terminat..T_T

i read a book regarding personality, and i began to accept myself, and i began to realized my strengths and weaknesses. and sekarang, i took my work as what i am good at (strength) and perbaiki kelemahan. kelemahan tak tau ape sebab tak habis baca..haha!

tadi kat ofis best gila. masuk 9.30, boss datang lambat so dalam pukul 10 baru on desktop. lepas tu borak-borak, catch-up news nak dekat 12, itupun bos yang ajak okay. lepas tu baru buat kerja. MQA's coming so banyak documents nak kena handle. finished sorting at 2.30pm. lepas tu boss ajak bayar saman, pergi la balai polis. sekali ramai gila que up, balik la dengan hampa. tapi tak hampa sangat la sebab boss belanje sundae McD and tak hampa sangat sebab dapat bermain mata dan bertukar senyuman dengan abang polis. sampai ofis dalam 3.30pm, i masuk pantry makan. oh, i memang selalu tapau lauk rumah, selain jimat ia jugak sedap. habis makan pukul 4pm. lepas tu bukak email chatting dengan my friend, pasal love crisis. dalam 5.30pm habis.jangan ingat i tak buat kerja, tangan i cekap bermain computer (thanks to dinner dash) so multitasking bebeh! berhenti tea time, borak-borak dengan boss sampai pukul 6. buat kerja situ sana sikit, 6.15pm off desktop, ready nak balik. turun bawah sampai depan mesin puncher, pukul 6.28pm. memang la tak boleh punch. masuk board room, tengok view cantik gila, keluar balik punched tepat 6.30pm. terus balik.

so im beginning and trying to love my job. tapi esok dah start teaching, mesti busy sangat. T_T

okay nak tido.selamat malam.

ps: i was in love and i forgot what it feels like when you were in love.

Unsaid

okay everyone, HELLO!! how are you my dear audience? okayy, since everyone is here, i would like to say a few things to you guys as i thought these few things might be important to you, or better-it is important so i want you to put your ears on the maximum and listen very very carefully.

2011 is coming, and it only takes a few days for it to come.

so,
1. after so long i PLANNED and try to WORK things out, it didn't came out as what i EXPECTED. although, with your CONCERN, this should be happening. right?
2. so i don't want to HUMILIATE myself again, this time, im slowing down a bit. but you have to be CAREFULL, as i'm afraid it is going to STOP.
3. after what you have said to me dear friend, i'm moving away from you because truly said, your words and actions hurt me ALOT.
4. don't be sorry because i don't need your sympathy.
5. while you think that you are the most happiest person in the entire world, i know your secrets. so don't act and bragg as you are one.
6. im not actually liking you but it depends.
7. look around yourself, why people don't agree with you in the first place.
8. oh and look yourself in the mirror. while you are hating other people, again look in the mirror.
9. i've known you for a long time, and i know you well enough. but you never even try to understand me.
10. define friendship please.
11. girls, i love you. although we don't see each other frequently, but i know we love each other so much. this is what we call, growing. bear with it.
12. love don't wait. it comes and go. maybe it hang around quite a long time before it goes away.
13. and yes, i definitely in love with you.

thank you for the attention although semua ni takde kena mengena dengan kehidupan anda. and tomorrow is monday, i need to iron my clothes. hee..

missing!

True Love is Not a Fantasy

true love is a fantasy. itu kata patrick dempsey. but i don't think that is completely true. in my opininon, true love will exist kalau both partners love each other so much, completely honest, and very much loyal to each other.

the question is, is it hard for you to be completely honest and at the same time loyal to your partner? kenapa there are such thing as lying, hidding and etc. just because we are called homosapien, and we are not perfect, kita boleh senang-senang jadikan itu sebagai alasan untuk tidak jujur dan setia?

so, currently im watching a popular series or drama whatever you call them. and dalam cerita tu ada 5 pelakon yang ada 5 different personalities and everything. two of them are married, tinggal the rest as kawan. what makes me so keen to watch from season 1 to season 5 is simply because how sweet the couple can be.

so these are the characters yang i think helps a lot when you want to find your soulmate. or even if you are married, boleh jadi ini antara benda-benda kecil yang i think berguna dalam hidup.

1. always support your partner especially berkaitan benda yang diorang suka.let's say satu hari diorang balik kerja and tells you yang dia kena marah bos ke ape, cheer him/her up. give him your full support and says that everything is gonna be alright.cakap yang kita bole go through this thing together.
2. never put the blame on him/her. contohnyer dia tersalah beli sos. janganlah membebel yang you all tak suka sos nie la, kenapa tak dengar cakap you all la,kenapa tak write down la.
another word that i HATE so much, "tu laa..kan i dah cakap bla bla..". even if anyone cakap macam tu rasa nak smack je muka orang tu. memang kadang-kadang kita nak cakap, tapi just keep it in your mind. bukan sahaja ayat itu menjatuhkan kredibiliti seseorang, malah kita sebagai pasangan sepatutnya jaga air muka pasangan kita. itu semua pilihan. so bila pilihan tu salah, ada cara lain untuk betulkan keadaan.
3. keep them ahead. pengorbanan. in everything you do, put the one you love as the reason you do whatever things you do. contohnya kerja. kita bekerja untuk bagi anak bini makan, untuk kebahagia keluarga. bila senang semua senang. so that kita rasa semangat bila kita tau ape jua yang kita buat, akan ada seseorang yang menghargai.
4. tell them how much you love them, everyday. i know, ramai yang rasa kenapa perlu ucap cinta setiap hari.asal tahu dalam hati cukupla. i don't know about guys, tapi girls memang mengader nak hari-hari dengan 'i love u..' , 'i miss you..' sebab boys and girls are differents maka kehendak pun different. well, kalau you have a partner yang joyous enough tak kisah dengan this thing, well..good for you.
5. cinta bukan sebab harta. erm..harta memang penting, tapi jangan jadikan harta sebagai tujuan rasa cinta. cinta sebab rasa. rasa dalam hati.
6. still madly deeply in love after so many years together. bukan susah untuk nak rasa cinta. simple things like holding hands, talking on the phone for hours, emailing, simple notes left. use your creativity.

what else?malas nak fikir dah. banyak sangat. but it is a good lesson. and i love how the series came up with this whole love marriage thing. very nice.

but i know, benda yang paling memenatkan bila kita dah buat sehabis baik just to make them happy, they never appreciate it. when we wanted to make things to a whole new level, it is just not at the right time. buy honey, keep trying. you'll have somebody to love you.

*senyum*

ok sekarang nak sambung tengok season finale. gosh..i really love love, if ya' know what i mean..

How Do I know He Loves Me?

How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?

How does she know that you really really truly love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
How does she know that you really really truly love her?

It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
"How do I know he loves me?
How do I know he's mine?"

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is Grey?
He'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

You got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each little something to lead her to believe you love her

Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true
How do you know he loves you?
How do you know he's yours?

Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words meant just for you?
He'll find someway to tell you with the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love
He's your love

That's how you know he loves you
That's how you know it's true

Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes
Plan a private picnic by the fire's glow
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show

That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

-That's how you know OST Enchanted-

Checklist

since im spending my time alone (which is great!), there are a few things need to be settle down.

checklist:
1. basuh pinggan - checked!
2. basuh kain - checked!
3. jemur kain - checked!
4. lipat kain - petang..
5. sweeping the floor - checked!
6. mopping - petang..
7. iron working clothes - esok..
8. slides for class - malam..
9. cooking for lunch - err...home delivery?
10. movies - now!
11. kemas bilik sendiri, bilik ayah & mama, bilik abang, guest room - checked!
12. siram pokok bunga - no way!
13. basuh kereta - malam (kot).
14. lap meja, tv semua- checked!

what else? currently i am watching videos from youtube, basically a music video. gosh sure they all have lyrics that make you go "damn....". in the blues perhaps. i love to put myself in that real situation. it keeps me on the ground. ya' know..

*senyum*

im hungry. thinking of going to that shop mall, saje buat window shopping. tapi...no cars are available. i mean , yang ada semua manual-t. malas la..ececeh..sebenarnya tak pandai bawak..lalala~

im going to have this weekend all by myself, eating, sleeping, goleking, facebooking, blogging and surfing while watching those korean dramas from KBSW. my oh my....pleasure!

Cinta Tak Direstui

Malam ini ku lihat bulan
Tak terjatuh lalu terurai
Ku nggak ngerti apa yang harus
Ku lakukan

Hari ini aku putuskan
Untuk jauh ku langkahkan kaki
Untuk pergi dari dirimu

Biarkanlah kan kubawa
Sejuta harapan yang indah
Yang pernah kita lalui
Saat bersama

Ku harap kau bisa mengerti
Cinta kita tak direstui
Malam ini harus
Rela ku pergi

Maafkanlah kekasih
Ku harus tinggalkanmu
Meski ku tahu ini menjadi
Kau sakit hati

Relakanlah kekasih
Tutup air matamu
Semua ini aku lakukan
Untuk kebaikanmu

Dengarkanlah kekasih
Ku harus tinggalkanmu
Meski ku tahu ini menjadi
Kau sakit hati

Relakanlah kekasih
Tutup air matamu
Semua ini aku lakukan
Untuk kebaikanmu

-d'massive-

when you know that the moment has arrived...

Pick Me while You Can

Alhamdulilah. satu masalah hidup selesai. sometimes we just need courage and facts to work things out. kadang-kadang ape yang kita cakap, orang tak faham. so to make things easier, narrow down your options into only two choices. (a) and (b). not 'buts', cause 'buts' is stupid, same goes to 'tak tau', the most stupid irrelevant answer to any questions. but anyway, i'd done my part and i am so happy to see the outcomes, if there's any. but probably not. but yeah, the problem dah settle, i can continue with my life.

im tired and i don't want any craps to deal with. enuff is enuff.

tadi masa pergi kerja, i was so exhausted and in very bad mood. oh, my very bad mood day doesn't affect anyone sebab usually my very-bad-mood cuma dapat dirasakan oleh saya. maybe i'll be a lil quiet but it's okay to say "hye F..". so boss dengan baik hati announced that today(friday 24th) keja halfday. gila best. and while waiting for the 1.00pm, my boss did manicure for me. turqoise. nice kan?

and bila balik rumah, everything was settled. i am happy about it. maybe once in awhile i will think about my choice but at times, kita dah tak rasa sebeban dulu. kita tak rasa menyusahkan orang and we lead our life according to what we want, although what we want is seldomly we get. right?

sekarang nak tidur dengan perasaan yang 'lite'.

oh yer, im going to change my number. maybe it's still a maxis. reason to change:
1) it cost me a load than what i can afford. 30seconds call for 39sens? bapak mahal. tak tau kenapa tukar rate dia. expensive for me.

other option-celcom xpax ke ape. digi perhaps. depend. will let friends know through FB.

Okay, will do!

nampaknye im beginning to write again. selalunya i take about 5 to 30 minutes to finish an entry depending on my mood and the surroundings. i have almost 10 great entries that should be posted out tapi i couldn't help but keep them in the draft, sebab too sensitive to some people, maybe mengaibkan a few people and etc. i don't want to hurt anyone whether directly or indirectly.

i made a few good things today and i felt proud with myself and i felt good about it, actually. i don't have to mention it or maybe later (indirectly) but yeah, it's good when you did something nice. in that case, you know that for your entire life, that this very one day, was a day when you did something good, kalau nak compare dengan hari-hari yang mendosa je lebih. kan?

staff ramai cuti due to x-mas and office seems so bored. and exam a day before christmas?gila sangat tak respect kepada penganut agama kristian. they all pon need time to be with the family, deco the house, sama macam kita buat preparation for Aidulfitri, Deewali, Gong Xi Fa Chai. what would you feel if others do this exact thing to you? esok i keje sampai pukul 10 malam. i rasa hari-hari sebelum hari jumaat, i need to work until 10 pm everyday. which is good because by the time i get home, i wil be penat like damn and terus tido.

lapar?tak sangat but im craving for these:

kan??sedapnyer.....i never was a big fan of satay from kajang since the first time i ate them at the age of 8. the satay tak well-done, not juicy enough, the marinated satay never that great, kuah kacang not suit my taste. senang cakap, satay from that infamous place never up to my standard.

bila i pindah to my place, i found a very nice and humble kedai tepi jalan, owned by a very old malay makcik with his son (never meet her husband btw) which apparently he was my senior during school. he is so like mat rempit but the thing is, he helped her mom like everyday to jaga the stall. it change my perception you know. rempit=bad. rempit jual satay tolong mak= sweet enough. sometimes his friends pun hang around, tak tau la menolong, atau tolong menyusahkan. ehehe...eh, jauh menyimpang! oh the satay sangat sedap sangat sangat sangat sedap that i love it very much. kadang-kadang tapau, kadang-kadang makan kat kedai dia. and it was cheap too. totally worth it!

so, weekend's coming. again-movies, satay (night only), and domino's for lunch! sementara tunggu gaji masuk, kita habeskan duit yang ada dulu..=)

ps: things are not the same. we are not young and i can't no longer be the same, if you are not the same person i used to know.

Belum Cuti-Plan Dah Ada

why life should have such drama? why on earth people loves drama rather than doing your own work and behave as such you are in a professional manners. i thought working with that kind of tribe je ada masalah macam nie, tapi working in this type of tribe pon lebih kurang jer. it is exhausting and i really don't like when everytime the drama's are on air. you get what i mean? and it could be worse.

but i really enjoying myself at work. i take my everyday job as something that i LIKE to do, not something that i HAVE to do. two different meanings but with the same goal- finishing your job. i suka waktu pagi, where i am equip with full energy, charged from a very good night sleep the night before. i love waking up in the morning (if i have something to do) but i HATE waiting until the nights come. i bole bangun seawal 5pagi untuk mula kerja, but bila time tunjuk pukul 5 petang, i mula jadi macam kanak-kanak nampak aiskrim berserta happy meal, all excited to get home. nasib baik, i heard that my class usually sampai pukul 5 je since malam ACCA will start off their classes.

my place takde orang melayu. kalau ade pon, wayy to junior. so i am hoping, starting january, the management akan hire orang melayu *ehem*. selain i memerlukan seseorang untuk menyegarkan mata i, i juga memerlukan teman berbual (communication barrier due to different nationality) dan juga teman makan waktu lunch.err, bukan i tak suka keluar dengan my friends, tapi it will be merrier kalau ada someone yang macam kita. yela, boleh share tempoyak bila dia amik sambal belacan.

tadi one of the lecturer stop by and gave us a whole chocolate cake. tak tau la sebab lapar ke ape, but the cake was awesome, sedap! ada lagi separuh kat office, hopefully takde la anak-anak semut yang buat party Zouk kat situ, memang mintak spray je la kan. she was nice actually. her face is like so garang you know, so i macam biasa double standard la kan. turned out, she is super nice! muka garang tapi baik takpe. jangan muka hodoh perangai pon ikut hodoh, such a *****.

anyway, lagi beberapa hari nak new year!!mesti fun kalau dapat celebrate dengan orang yang paling kita sayang. to give me such a warm hug and says, "i am happy to go through these years with you and i can't wait to have another year with you..". and yes, i don't get it this year. but i already have my new year's resolution. sounds pretty amazing.

my married friend asked me, "how many times you wish i love you to your love one?". i said every second if i can, but usually everytime the conversation between us stop, and out of nowhere pun i boleh cakap camtu. it shouldn't have reasons or rules. when you feel like you want to express your feelings, do it!she said i am oh so romantic..

esok kerja and baju belum gosok. kalau malas, i pakai baju kurung since paling senang nak gosok. if extra rajin, i pakai la kemeja and seluar/skirt. by esok, tinggal lagi satu hari je keje but i have to work until 10pm. part time job kan.

sabtu?my family nak pergi jenjalan but i am too lazy so i decided to stay at home, mintak duit sikit kat mama, and will order dominos pizza and eat them all by myself sambil tengok HBO or any DVD's available.

sounds great for Christmas? i don't celebrate Xmas but thanked PM for giving us public holiday. i always support you PM..muah muah!

Bangun lambat tak bererti lambat

i was late to office this morning because i woke up late. usually my sweet childish sleep ended at 7.30am plus a 10mins of snooze. but tadi, at 8.13am baru bangun. i was rushing like mad and managed to arrived at the lrt putra around 8.35am. uh'huh.....with no make-up on. mana sempat nak pakai eyeliner and dapped a blusher pon. i looked like a mess.

upon arriving at the office, my stomach growled. not because i'm hungry, err..well part of it, but semalam i ate a whole pack of siput sedut or it's scientific name - Cerithidea obtusa . especially bila masak lemak cili padi memang terbaik. so anyway, any sea food dish there's always one yang busuk. i guess i've ate the bad one, so perut sangat sakit. sampai je office, okay you know what the hell i was doing, no need to elaborate on that.

the best thing was, the office has a new look. my boss and other collegues arranged our office to be a better place. more spacious. they moved the student's file's cupboard into my big boss room, they arranged the tables, so our place become spacious enough for us untuk buat kenduri pon. we even have a new stronger chairs.thanks to them!

things are not going well between us-the collegues. i don't know why. we were good and close before this, but now, ermm...things were not the same. i don't know what my mistakes,i don't know what i did to make them do this kind of thing to me. and i don't know if they treated me like this just because the boss is quite keen to me although i am the freshman compared to them. but if i did anything wrong, i am sorry. i don't mean it that way.im just want to do my job.

i went surfing through the net,to have a backup plan called "D-Plan". i am saving my money and time for February's big event, but if the event is cancelled, im gonna use my money and time for September's event. i don't wanna waste any money AND time no more.

i was shocked to see that my money susut already. In conclusion, i am suck at money handling. so no handphone, no laptop, and no camera.

i don't know how you managed to buy that oakley's sunglasses. it was damn expensive man!btw, you looked sexy in it mr.boyfriend..lalala~

A Day Out Turn Sweet Sour..ahaha!

yesterday me and my boyfriend,we went out to watch some movies. and yeah being the nicest boyfriend ever, he usually bought the tickets online, because it was so damn easy for us just to went to the counter and picked it up.i was and still thinking of applying for a credit card, surely not for showing off, but it's for the convenience. but i have a goal, to have this much amount of salary, only then i would apply one.

so we went to OU (as usual) and chose Tron Legacy. i think my boyfriend was much enjoying the movie, i prefer (that day) to watch romantic comedy movie but there were none of it. and best yet, i slept for almost 15minutes in the middle of the movies, and woke up only when my boyfriend siku me, because i think he knew i was asleep. i don't think the movie was bad, but i guess i was damn tired or maybe the 3D glasses causes me to sleep.

my review: as i paid for a 3D, i was hoping that the movie wow me, and yes-they're not. and i was (for the entire movie) praying that when the program crashes during The Grid, the pixels crashes into pieces and falls on me (audience) and they managed NOT to do so. i was so freaking dissapointed. and when sam's father out of nowhere having this superpower was SO NOT COOL. you are a human in the first place and trapped in your own programme. you are not superhuman. the only things that wow me was the super sleek motorbikes (love!) and the game (the grid) itself.

and shamely to say that Harry Potter beats Tron Legacy. (for me)

after movie, we went straight to SS2 for a dinner. it was my treat because my boyfriend got some good news about his work (congrats hun!).so it was time for us to celebrate something. we were always missed out to celebrate our annivesary due to bad timing and etc.so that night was the night. sadly, SS2 only managed to put up 20tables for each night because MP told them to do so. it was not hype anymore, i mean the place.we had to wait almost 10minutes for a table as there were lots of people waiting in the line, and when we got the table, we had to shared it with other people.you know, they talked loud, fast, and laughed like mad. and i don't have the chance to have a romantic dinner with him, like usual.

since the movie was bad, the place was crowded, and the food also bad. too salty for me. he said that, it will be our last time to go there.it was pretty sad because i quite like that place. i mean their pink panther, chicken chop were nice and delicious.

another great thing was, i met my friend, she's married and it was my first time seeing her. just right after i got out from the washroom, she was passing me by. i looked right to her, and we were like, "ahhhhhhhhhhhh..........eeeeee......******..jumpe jugak!!".. it was great after so many years. she's newly bride and the wedding supposed to be somewhere around march. she's pretty, and so nice. we were like best friend although all these years we were only known through the virtual world.

hrmm..boyfriend always so nice to me. we were talking about works and how to deal with things.as i said so many times, i always like when he tell stories. i dont why. i dont know if i love the stories or i just love listen to his voice. and i love to hear his thoughts and ideas. i always respect him as friend, and as a man who always has this brilliant ideas and maturity in his thoughts.he was a good friend too.

talking about future, both of us have created our own future. Insyaallah with Allah's will, things will turn out nicely, right sayang?? yes i love him, i love him very much the same from the very first moment. he is everything to me. my very best friend.