A Self-Starter Kit: Slumber Party

nama taknak ngalah. whatever.

dikala hati tak tenteram, my friend suggested that we should go out and do small reunion between us, good friends. so entah macam mana, i said, "count me in..". since im not that kind of person yang suka go out and jalan-jalan, somehow i just tell myself, "hey girl, go out and have a life la..". so yeah, i keluar jugak.

pakai black short and blue shirt. super comfortable cuma menyesal tak pakai flipflop, mesti lagi super comfortable. there were 4 of us. they picked me up at my house and i brought along a bag with baju tidur and everything in case nak kena overnight at my friend's house.

on the way to the place, kitorang terserempak dengan our own beloved lecturer yang hotstuff gila kat U dulu semua like cair dengan dia sebab he was like super nice and handsome too. jarang orang ponteng his class sebab memang tak stress class dengan dia.so, kitorang stopped our car belakang kereta dia (masa tu x taula kete dia). i know he lives somewhere my house area tapi tak sangka boleh jumpa. kitorang tried to recalled his plat's number and it was totally HIM! we asked my friend who were driving at that time to take over his car and slow down.

bila dah berselisih tu, i turunkan cermin kereta and like waving at him madly and like jerit-jerit "encik L** encik L**!!!!" macam jumpa artis (we really did that!!) and we were laughing like gila-gila bila the looked on his face was like OMG-who-the-fuck-are-they-and-why-they-were-waving-like-mad-at-me, macam tu la lebih kurang.

kat simpang depan traffic light, he stopped his car sebelah kitorang, i thought dia nak marah ke ape sebab sukahati wave2 kat dia, sekali dia cakap, " korang nak pergi mane ar??". and mestila i took the honour jawab soalan dia sama macam kat class dulu (haha!), "nak pegi KL la encik L**. encik L** nak pergi mana?" and bla bla bla. lama jugak borak before lampu turned hijau. kitorang terkejut sangat sebab dia KENAL kitorang. psttt..nasib wife dia takde, wife die cemburu buta kot. kalau i pun, husband hot gila, hensem, baik pulak tu..kan?

anyway, we parked the car kt plaza low yat and walked to berjaya times square and decided to try the indoor theme park. tapi oleh kerana two of them are such a loser (hahaha!) takot nak naik rides, tak jadi la. jalan balik to plaza low yat and go karaoke instead. dari pukul 2pm sampai pukul 6pm kat redbox and with total of rm141.85 sen for four. nyanyi sampai serak-serak dah suara, but it was fun sebab biasa la kitorang, menyanyi nak siap menari naik atas kerusi macam buat konsert sendiri.

lepas tu gerak IKEA. takde ape yang harus dibeli kecuali the curry puff and hotdogs die yang super lazat itu. my friends beli cermin rm20 for 4 pieces and table lamp rm9.90. gila cheap but i know that is not my necessity, it wass lust (haha!). oh, ada some attitude problem di IKEA but tell you later la, bawak negative energy plak.

malam tu ingat nak tengok hobin jang hobin dengan gomo kelate gomo, tapi tak sempat. alangkah ruginya tak dapat tengok si kembar yang hot itu. balik rumah pun dah nak dekat kul 11. sampai rumah my friend, buat pillow talk. two of them tak mandi, and you know la sapa mandi pukul 1 pagi siap bershampoo bagai wangi gila, siap pakai lotion and night cream ni kalau future husband tau ni makin sayang jer dapat bini pembersih kan. ok melalut but yeah, kitorang borak-borak sambil pejam mata (baca: mengantuk).

two of them (yang tidak mandi) dah tidur, dengar sayup-sayup je katenye. me and my other friend continue talking, biasalah takde cerita lain perempuan nie, lelaki-cinta-putus cinta-perangai lelaki yang unpredictable- tukar cinta-tukar boyfriend-kahwin-anak- shopping. dalam 2.30 pagi my friend tutup lampu, rambut i pon dah kering and kitorang pun dah slow. tau-tau dah pagi.

so pagi bangun awal, pastu sambung borak-borak and took a shower at 11am. siap-siap terus pergi plaza masalam. best jugak kat situ okay. my friend amek handphone dia repair and stopped lunch at the chicken rice shop. with rm14.99 each, kenyang nak mati makan. sedap yang amat and perut bagai nak pecah. i ate like suku of the nasi but i habeskan bean sprout diorang. pemalas sayur diorang nie. and sebab ada pai tee lagi la terbaik makan kan. ingat nak ajak my super gorgeous baik hati boyfriend (baca:ampu) makan kat situ weekend nie.

then we went to sunway pyramid. oh rite, kat sunway pyramid ada satu kedai japan, memang totally all the stuff from japan, and semua stuff die cuma berharga RM5. i repeat RM5. memang rambang mata macam nak beli semua. so i bought two cat's collars untuk sagitarius and jacky, and a blusher. dah la blusher dia nampak mahal. tak try lagi but i chose beige. santek.

my friend dropped me at abdullah hukum lrt station and terus balik rumah. dalam pukul 6.30 sampai, ayah fetched me. supposely keluar dengan encik boyfriend, tapi dia demam. kesian sangat kat dia. tanya dia nak i datang ke bawak some hot soup ke ape, dia kate tak payah sebab dia tak larat nak bangun. risau sangat kat dia. hopefully he's doing fine. esok kerja plak tu. mintak-mintak dia sihat lepas tidur malam nie.

so there goes my weekend! lepas konvo bulan 12 ni, we are planning to go to port dickson. hopefully jadik la. yeay!!

Hari Berjimba : Belum Post-Mortem

sempat lagi menaip. bukan apa, janji pukul 11, pukul 10 dah siap (baca: punctual), so sambil tunggu-tunggu sambil bukak internet. ape lagi perkara berfaedah macam baca buku, baca surat khabar, kemas rumah, pergi jogging ke, selain surfing the internet??

sendiri fikir.

anyway, hari ni rasa-rasa nak buat slumber party la kat rumah budak-budak tu. perlu ke bawa perwarna kuku, facial equipment segala? bantal-bantal comel berbentuk hati dak berwarna pink?oh, dulu saya pernah dapat bantal strawberry masa bakal mak-mertua saya belikan masa diorang cuti kat cameron highland dulu. cool gila kan bakal mak-mertua saya? sebab tu saya sayang dia sangat-sangat.

ok, sedih pulal tiba-tiba teringat bakal mak-mertua..T_T

saya sudah pack baju. setakat baju tidur satu seperti seluar snoopy dan baju untuk balik keesokkan harinya. macam tak kerja plak kau kan keluar hari ahad bagai. duit pun dah bawak. tak banyak tapi cukupla nak beli topup rm10 tiga puluh kali. yela, nanti bawa sikit-sikit, tak cukup takkan nak pinjam kawan kot? ni pun dah duit pinjam dari mak ayah..teehee..

oh oh, before i end up this conversation, malam ni tengoklah Mari Menari, kot-kot nampak saya. yang pasti saya bukanlah penarinya...kakaka.. ape kejadahnye la pergi tempat-tempat macam tu. don't ask me, ask my friend. beriya ajak kami ni. i never been to any of live show except theatre. so this will be my first experience. mesti gelabah badak je diorang-diorang yang pergi. i macam biasa, cool. tapi kalau dah nampak afdlin shauki ke, fahrin ahmad ke, aaron aziz ke, melompat jugak la.

*gelak*

selain itu, boleh jugak cari-cari bakal suami. we never know right?jodoh di tangan Allah. kalau dah bercinta lama-lama tapi tak ke mana, pun fikir sendiri. orang kalau dah tak sudi, angkatlah kaki yer. heyp heyp, bukan saya, orang lain la. saya kan pencinta setia. walau ditinggal begitu sahaja pun, cinta tetap dan sentiasa ada kat sini..*tunjuk hati*. see??

hey cinta, pergi mana?lama tak jumpa..rindulaaaaa....teehee...=)

ps: dari shah alam ke KL bape lama??takkan sampai 3 jam kott...dusshhh!

Calling for all Ibu(s)

Kalau esok-esok ni i kahwin, lepas 9 bulan dapat baby, kira bunting pelamin la kan, i nak anak i panggil i IBU. i repeat IBU.

walaupun kata ganti diri ketiga i - 'mama' (jangan tanya kenapa mama), still i nak anak-anak i yang gemok, putih dan debab itu panggil i IBU.

kenapa IBU? kenapa tak mama, mommy, or bonda??

kalaulah pulak my baby tu lelaki, alangkah sejuknya perut i bila dia panggil i ibu sebab..

bayangkan kat sekolah gangster gila, main rugby pulak tu, ketua pengawas sekolah, or masuk MCKK ke, or RMC ke siap dengan baju NO.3 ke, jumpa-jumpa i, jerit IBU siap peluk ciom semua.

comel gila kot!!

i rasa awek-awek hot pon boleh cair kalau dengar anak i yang berbadan sasa, bermain rugby dan memakai baju NO.3 tu panggil i IBU. walaupun muka tak berapa nak hensem, kan?

oh, panggilan BONDA pon masih di considerate kan.

*senyum*

ps: ni la padahnya bila baca blog orang dah kahwin. ahh..tak pedulik!

To be with someone special

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch and swing with,

never say a word,

and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had. "

sometimes, the only thing that i want is for you to be here.

Forgive and Forget

something bad happened to me. it makes me wonder, why i am still here?? why i am still here, waiting patiently, where all that i've got is hurt?? am i too nice or just being a plain stupid? i don't have the answer, really i don't. but all that i care, is to be here, to be here every second and every moment. i hope my loyalty pays off.only that matters to me.

people deserve second chance. i repeat. people deserve second chance. hear me talking? yeah. but how about people who still wants another chance after doing the same mistakes over and over again? do we, the people who will forgive them deserve to be treated the same way, over and over again?

don't we deserve a second chance after being treated that way?
don't we deserve to be love and live happily ever after?

i still believe in what Allah said, " be good to people and people will treat you good". and Dia sendiri akan balas semua perbuatan baik kita. i know nowadays, kalau kita berbuat baik kat orang, belum tentu orang itu akan berbuat baik pada kita. since kiamat dah dekat, lebih ramai lagi manusia bertopengkan baik, tapi hatinya busuk, kotor dan penuh hasad dengki.

but i CHOSE to live this way. by being nice to people, by trying to see the good side of every person, give a good impression, and forgive people for what every mistakes that they did. i know, someday they realize that they were so wrong and hopefully they will change.

contoh, by being a setia girlfriend, doesn't mean your boyfriend will setia at you back. but deep inside we know, we have done something good and don't do wrong. we are not the one who ruin the relationship. it is better than being the perempuan who chasing after many guys, isn't it? and hopefully the boyfriend will realized that his own girlfriend love him so much that no one could ever done something good and sweet like that.

*senyum*

im no good. but whenever i have the chance to do something GOOD, i will go for it. whenever i have the chance TRYING to be good, hell yeah i'm gonna try it.

for the person who may concern, i forgive you if you read this. i forgive all the things that you ever done to me. i want to start a new life and a new day with a new book. im not very sure if you want to be in that book, but im pretty sure that i want you in my life. things are going crazy but right now i've already put it aside and let it go. im just hoping it will not happen again.

yes, i am trying (very hard) to start to believe and to trust. one more time.

*senyum meleret-leret*

ps: mood baik lepas PMS and new work awaits...ka-ching! \(^^)/

Watching TV always be my half-full cup of tea.

Kita ada 3 series of CSI:

1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
2. CSI New York
3. CSI Miami

Dalam banyak-banyak series nie, yang paling i suka adalah CSI Miami.

Kenapa??

Sebab ade Horatio. masa mula-mula tengok dia berlakon cam rasa nak sepak-sepak jer kebelagakkan dia, tapi dah banyak kali tengok rasa macam 'oh wow'. lagipun cerita dia lebih direct, senang faham, gambar cantik (kalau tukar astro beyond mesti lagi cantik), and mamat hot berlakon, as usual.

Tapi simply because, setiap kali tengok AXN, memang CSI Miami je yang ada. tak taula si CSI: Crime Scene Investigation dengan CSI New York pegi mana. jarang-jarang jer dapat tengok.

Sekarang i am trying to develop my interest untuk tengok TV. walaupun sepatutnya interest tengok TV adalah ke arah berita semasa, forum perdana, al-kuliyyah dan sebagainya, tapi i would like to pupuk dulu minat ke arah TV. watching TV by tengok cerita yang boleh mendatangkan minat.

minat tengok sekarang adalah:

1. Top Chef / Diva
2. Amazing Race Asia / AXN
3. The Kardashian / E
4. Cinta Kirana / Ria
5. Disney Movie / Disney
6. Anime / Animax

cukup lah tu. walaupun kadang-kadang tak tau pukul berapa the show on air, tapi boleh la sekadar mengisi masa lapang. esok dah ada duit, for sure beli buku baru. i don't care.

*senyum*

Mungkin Pasti

Kalaulah boleh dilukis dan ditulis dengan kata-kata perasaan saya sekarang ini, mahu tidak berhentinya hujan, mahu tidak matahari memancar, mahu tidak burung berkicau, mahu tidak laut berhenti bergelora. gelap, mendung.

Tapi tidak ada satu kata pun yang boleh menggambarkannya. hanya Allah Tuhan yang Satu itu yang Maha mengetahui segala. dan semua yang terjadi sudah pasti akan kehendakNya. mungkin Tuhan yang sayangkan hambaNya ini ingin memperjelas pandangan mata hati yang kabur kerana cinta. mungkin.

mungkin cinta itu sudah tidak bermakna lagi.

mungkin cinta itu sudah tiada lagi.

mungkin.

Few of Many Things That I Like..

Since i'm strike with boredom, thus im occupied myself with reading (from the internet) and yes, blogging. this is one of many ways to do something usefull (or act macam sibuk sangat). menyesal pulak tak siap-siap ikot ayah keluar tadi. dengar macam nak pergi pavillion.

T_T

anyway, let's get started people,39 things that i like :

1. money. because when i have the money, i have the power of purchasing and thus i feel sorta like i have all the power in the world. with money i can go where ever that i want, and buy anything that i need. the only money that i get with my own sweat was about early this year where i worked and gained rm179.75 cent. the rest is of course, parent's money.
2. make-up. i have tons of them which some of them tak pernah guna pun. some were gifts from friends and family, some beli sendiri, and some curi from my mother.i have all kinds of range from foundation, corrector, mineral powder to gloss and lipstick. but yeah, the things that i use are only the basics.
3. black, red, and hot pink. now im trying to love white. i think white is sexy.
4. cooking and baking. but it depends on the mood. once i baked a banana caked with only 4 pieces left of banana, it was a success. and it was my first attempt.=)
5. cleaning my room or house. i want things to be organized, tak suka sepah-sepah sebab akan pening and moody. moody to myself because too lazy to kemas.
6. tomyam. man i love this unique thailand's dish! pernah makan tomyam 5 hari berturut-turut and stil never gets tired with tomyam. my favorite is seafood tomyam.
7. and it goes better with ikan siakap 3 rasa. although this dish is a lil bit pricey (rm25++), but whatever kalau dah sedap makan jela. anything (food) below rm50 is consider as not cheap, but okay-la. but depends on the restaurant.
8. hot food. yang pedas-pedas sahaja. anything yang pedas selalunya berjaya sedap. kan?=)
9. anything sweet. juices, cake, chocolate, bun.
10. mamak food. roti canai, tosai, but not capati, nasi kandar. ate capati only once in my life.
11. carbonated drinks.
12. basuh kereta, especialy bila dilanda musibah. it keeps me sane. and plus, Tatum looks cleaner and handsome too.=)
13. karoke. and sing like a mad person. oh yeah, pergi karoke kena menyanyi penuh perasaan dan kesumbangan. you will feel good.
14. handbags. i dont have many, i have only like 50 bags but my room dah takde tempat nak simpan. and my handbags selalunya dijaga rapi. masuk dalam dust bag and masuk dalam paper bag.
15. romantic movies/stories. i always put myself in the play and mula berangan. my favourite are The Notebook, Ps I Love You, and....
16. parfume. I love to death Miracle by Lancome. masuk nie dah 3 kali beli, only the 3rd time i asked my mom to buy for herself, which you know la later it was mine. now im using Jadore by Christian Dior and Rockstar by Anna Sui. tak banyak tapi cukup untuk mewangikan badan. preparing to buy Gucci Rush 2.
17. rose clippers. hair accessories. i love rose, big flowers on my head. especially red and white.rasa macam kat caribbean island pulak.
18. fries from McD.
19. heels. love heels but tak boleh guna cuma beli sahaja, because im quite a tall person and bila pakai like 4inch heels pon dah macam KLCC bergerak.
20. hanging out with friends. tapi sekarang semua dah jauh-jauh.T_T
21. swimming.
22. travelling. preparing, saving and planning to go london. maybe on honeymoon.
23. hugging and kissing.. it's one of the way of showing your love.hug and kiss your loves one whenever you can.
24. sleeping in an airconditioned room with thick warm blanket when its pouring rain outside. and it's 12.00pm. gosh...
25. being in love and loved by someone. it's the best feelings one could get..=)
26. driving while listening to love songs..=)
27. helping people. with all the powers that i have, i will help as far as i could get my hands on.
28. uniform. polis, bomba, askar, pilot, navy, anything that wears uniform always and will always catch my attention. sexy people!
29. dress, skirts, mini skirts are always my favour.
30. sleeping. oh my...(guilty)
31. indonesian songs. puitis, menusuk kalbu, and sedap.
32. baju kurung and kebaya.
33. people who are sensitive enough to realized what had happen in their surroundings.
34. gadjets. mobile phone, computers, PDA, music player. if only i have lots of money.
35. weddings. lagi-lagi time akad nikah, kita yang bukan family pun ikot nangis. sebab i know people who get married are those yang betul-betul falling in love..kan?plus ayam masak merah memang terbaik.
36. the smell of gasoline bila tengah isi fuel kereta. wow sungguh.
37. smart tag. life is getting easier isn't it?
38. family. the one and only.
39. people who are good hearted.

ok now rasa sangat lapar and nak masak since i dont eat anything from morning and now is like 4.00pm so selamat tinggal boredom!!

*gelak2*

ps: learn when you know nothing.

Entah

Ku tahu, kau selingkuh
Kau duakan cintaku yang tulus
Kau tahu, diriku
Tak pernah berpaling dari dirimu
Tega nya kau dustai semua
Janji kita berdua

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu..

Tak pernah ku bayangkan
Cerita kita berakhir begini
Tega nya kau dustai semua
Janji kita berdua

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu..

Masihkah ada,
Cinta dihati ini
Dihati kecilku berharap kau masih bagian dari hidupku

Entah masihkah ada cinta dihatiku
Untuk mu
Entah kapankah ku dapat membuka hati ini, untuk mu


by Afgan

QUick QUack

I thought of watching Life as What it is-i bet it was a cute movie tapi since seat paling comfortable dah takde, 3 row in front of the screen pulak, batal- tengok You Again. Since this movie, hollywood jugak dah mula bagi jalan cerita yang kita semua boleh predict. tapi tak dinafikan ada part-part yang sangat hillarious. if you are too rich, you better watch this movie. and if you are not, simpan duit untuk filem action hollywood, yang ada 3D, lagi worth it.

came home to abg's condo at about 12am. pretty tired and mata dah rabak. but it was all worthwhile because im enjoying my day to the max. tapi perut sangat2 lapar sebab lupa nak makan malam. i bought 6 pieces of big apple'd donut tapi tak makan pun. rasa nak makan nasi paprik, or tomyam, or sup tulang. forced myself to sleep.

hari ni pergi ke langat tengok my cousin's new house. its a kampung house with a slight modern touch. community melayu but somehow i feel welcomed. rumah dia cantik and i bet bila dah masuk sofa and everything lagi wow. but yeah, being me, ceiling umah dia rendah and it's like 10cm kipas nak cecah kepala. gotta be extra careful.

balik rumah around 6pm, terus mandikan tatum. he's in the mess (padahal baru mandi last week). busuk dah. and like 20minutes mandikan dia, he was all good. putih suci berseri.

so now i want to take a bath and prepare for a next interview. and that's my quick update!!

position

malam ni takde story yang menarik.

this morning went for an interview but the big boss keluar meeting plak and i had to wait from 11am to 2pm. luckily the boss called and cakap a few promises thing but you know i dont want to put high expectation (damn i really love that job!), so gonna meet him again (3rd time in a row okay gila gigih!) esok. seriously kalau tak dapat jugak, subang here i come!!

T_T jauhhhh..

oh, i have this one bad habit where i LOVE to sleep with my face on the pillow, senang cerita jawa, tidur telungkup atau tidur meniarap. feels like heaven okay, lagi-lagi bila tangan dah masuk bawah bantal sejuk lembut jer.

but then i came across a few articles, especially in ISLAM, tidur meniarap sangat tak bagus, sebab tidur meniarap menutup pintu rezeki and which i learned that tidur menghadap kiblat dan mengiring ke kanan adalah PALING BAIK (tidur tak himpap jantung maksudnye tu). so mulai malam ini, tidur saya adalah melentang atau menghadap kiblat dan ke kanan.

i remember ada someone close to my heart, dia tidur melentang, kaki crossing, dan tangan di dahi.isn't that cute!!!???*wink2* orang kata, posisi tidur macam ni, orangnya berpandangan jauh. yeke??

tau kenapa nak tukar posisi. sebab any things that i do, such as reading, watching TV or movies, FB, blog, surfing, i do it while meniarap. and hari ni sakit pinggang la plak. mungkin itu sebab nyer. now saya tak boleh bend even to wash my face. luckily sinki toilet tinggi.

ps: asyik senyum-senyum je dua tiga hari ni. kenapa?

Kapal is not actually a boat.

life pretty hettic sekarang nie. banyak interviews yang kena attend. i feel so tired sebab the preparation before the interview perlu banyak masa dan komitmen. anyway, of all the interviews, i got two job offers, which im still considerating whether to take it or not. and takot jugak nak decline the offer.

oh, bukan job dubai tu. job dubai tu manager dia belom balik dari oversea sebab she promised to call me after she arrives here. and yet i haven't receive any call from her or the company. jangan hoping lebih-lebih, kang tak dapat-kecewa.

tomorrow i've got another interview, a position that i really want. gaji ok, sangat dekat, dan ada career development if you know what i mean. i went to the place tadi, and they asked me to come again tomorrow. so, kena buat extra prep lagi.isn't that nice?

*senyum*

semalam pergi dating kat jalan TAR for the first time after so many years. oh thanks to him by the way *senyum* i told him that im not that kind of girl yang jalan panas sikit tak boleh asyik nak pergi shopping complex jer beraircond bagai. walaupun semestinya lebih sejuk dan selesa, but sometimes we do need a 'fresh air', aite?barang yang dicari tak dapat, keropok lekor, air sirap cincau, dan manisan india susu-my-favo, dan coconut candy yang dapat. thank you for all yer awak, sedap!

later that night we went for a romantic dinner kat kapal. it is really a kapal, only that it cannot move. yeah, we have some serious talked, and later came out with our own solution and agreement. so kata persetujuan dah dicapai, tinggal action sahaja.

*senyum*

ate a few lamb chops and drank fruit juices, then we were good to go. afterall esok (today) adalah hari kerja so tak baik la lambat-lambat.

life is about making choices. it's neither right nor wrong.

ps: thank you for all the treats..especially the indian candy! and tolong ingat jalan nak pegi the ship.

Once in a Life

have you ever think of leaving everything behind, and start a new life in a new place? i don't know about you guys, but i sometimes did thought about that. well, it wasn't actually that you are trying to run and leave your problem behind, but this is regarding your no-solution problem, especially when it comes to heart problem (no medicinal intention on that) .

lagi-lagi bila kita rasa tak dihargai, kita feel lost, rasa macam nak pack barang and start a new life. kan? bila diri kita tak diperlukan lagi, give me one good reason why we have to wait for it to happen?takde reason right. we do anything we could but what do we get? nothing. bukan tak tahu, cuma taknak amik tahu, taknak tahu.

anyway, i got an interview offer with one of the international company , have 60 outlet throughout the world (ok ini info dapat masa dia call tadi..hehe). dia cakap if i'll be the one yang dia cari, she said i better pack my things and followed her working in the middle-east, mane lagi kalau bukan DUBAI.

mula-mula i was thinking taknak kerja jauh dari rumah. kerja kat subang pun dah kira jauh okay. but bila bad things macam nie happen, mulalah rasa nak buat bersungguh-sungguh untuk interview nanti. bersungguh sangat where i WILL do some research, on the company, the position they offered, and also what will be my contribution to them.

dubai okay. once in a life chances. i say we go for it!

ps: cross fingers, research, sembahyang hajat.

Rezeki Allah

Betul la orang cakap. rezeki itu ada je kat mana-mana untuk kita. cuma dengan berkat usaha dan doa sahaja, dan bagi orang yang rajin, rezeki itu akan datang bergolek-golek atas arahan dan kehendak yang Maha Esa.

begitu juga pasal berkahwin. itu semua rezeki dan jodoh. kalau bercinta bagai nak arwah pun, kalau dah ditakdirkan rezeki dia bukan suami kita, nak buat lagu mana?? ada juga yang hanya kenal sehari dua, kalau dah Allah kata dia itu suami kita, tetap juga dia. bukan Sheikh Muzafar. okay, itu hanya penambahan.

kalau saya nak berkahwin pun, hanya pada tahun 2011. kalau lambat dari itu, saya rasa lebih baik saya berangkat ke London. memang itu je tanah tumpah darah ku. seorang diri sambil bermain salji ketika musim sejuk. what do you care?

*gelak*

Oh, kita bukan nak cakap pasal saya yang nak berkahwin. lambat lagi. bertunang pun belum ape kejadahnya nak cerita pasal kahwin. siapa nak kahwin, silakan. sebab nanti bila saya kahwin, kawan-kawan saya suma dah ada babies. bila dah ada babies, mesti mereka sangat comel, macam pengantin (saya).

*gelak*

sebenarnya saya cuma nak cakap, betapa gembiranya saya bila...hish, takpelah. saya rasa sambung entry esok ke, esok malam ke. it is too fast to tulis kat sini pun. excited lebih la awak nie.

anyway, saya sebenarnya jatuh cinta lagi dengan lelaki yang sering memberi headache kat saya. i just can't get rid of him. tengok dia swimming je hari tu, rasa penuh je kasih sayang saya kat dia. ye, saya tak swim sebab malas. dia buat freestyle je laju gila, lawan gaya frog pun dia laju. dia dah suruh saya pegi half kolam pon dia still laju.

so kalau dah asyik- asyik kalah je, saya decided nak duduk je kat tangga pool sambil tengok dia berenang. sambil-sambil tu saya fikir la pasal masa depan. is he the one for me? itu saya tak boleh jawab. hanya berserah kepada Allah je supaya limpahkan kurnia dan rezeki bercinta ni kat kami, i mean like for forever. just simply because i love him so much.

in conclusion, ini bukan entry pasal cinta. pasal lain sebenarnya, tapi nanti la kita update lain.

*senyum*

teehee.....

ps: tiga bijik datang bergolek. sudah pasti bukan buah langsat.

My cup of tea

Tempat: MY house
Masa : 9.00pagi

lelaki : " selamat pagi. boleh saya bercakap dengan F***h **i***n??"
me : "ye saya bercakap." (mengantuk)

lelaki : " F***h **i**n, alamat No *** Jalan ****....betul?"
me: "hrm. betul la tu. kenapa?"

lelaki : " kitorang nak hantar bunga la. ada kat rumah tak?"
me: " ada tapi sekarang saya nak keluar bang.hantar sekarang boleh ke?"

lelaki: " 9.30?tak sempat ni kak.."
me : " yeke?ermm...kedai kat mana nie?" (dalam hati rasa nak letak je phone takot gotcha call ke ape)

lelaki: "seputeh, bangsar.."
me: " hantar kat midvalley boleh? saya dah on the way ke sana la.."

lelaki : "boleh kalau akak tak kisah.."
me: "ha, kenapa plak?besar sangat ke bunga dia?"

lelaki: "besar tak besar la kak. ada 12 kuntum."
me: "takpela, nanti saya call balik la arrange delivery. saya nak call nombor mana eh?"

lelaki: "no nie jela kak.."
me: "ok. terima kasih yer.."
lelaki: "same2 kak.."

(letak phone. masih blurr)

Tempat: dalam kereta otw to Mid.

me: "ayah, ada orang nak deliver bunga, siapa plak yang kasi yah?" (gelak2 malu)
ayah: "galang kot.." (im a big fan of randy pangalila)
me: "wahhh..kalau galang sekarang jugak kita pergi indon pinang galang yah.."
ayah:" perasan. bf kamu la yang hantar, siapa lagi.."

Tempat : Midvalley
Masa : 10.45pagi

lelaki: " kak, macam mana bunga nie?"
me: "erm..hantar esok bole ke bang?"

lelaki: "bunga tu dah buat kak..."
me: "yer?takpela..hantar jela kat midvalley nie. saya tunggu.."

lelaki: "dalam midvalley ke?"
me: "ha'ah..tunggu depan McD boleh?"

lelaki : "McD kat belah mana kak?"
me: "dekat GSC tue..wayang.."
lelaki : "ok kak. jumpa sana. bye.."

after 30minutes..
SMS : " kak, saya dah sampai.."

the bouquette is so beatiful. ada 12 kuntum red roses, sangat wangi, dan sangat mekar. and i saw a yellow card in between the flowers. so i opened it.

(nak tulis tapi malu la..but it was so sweet feels like melting dah hati ni..)


takde nama siapa-siapa pon kat situ. so i wondered siapa la yang bagi. i had a fight with my bf, memang tak terfikir pon dia, because he was like so mad at me. and i was like double mad at him.

so i called him and he was like malu-malu.mula-mula dia tak mengaku dia hantar, lepas tu i dengar dia gelak-gelak. and i was like lagi malu sebab semalam macam marah sangat but tadi macam dah malu-malu suara jadi menggedik sikit cakap "thank you..i love the flowers so much.." kat dia.


*gelak*


well, i did underestimated him. he did gave me flowers a few times tapi seriously tak sangka dia nak delivered bunga sebab last night fight was devastated to me. i gues this is one of his way of telling how sorry he was, for everything i pressumed.


my ex bf told me that i am lucky enough to have him (my bf) sebab dia sangat sabar orangnya. even he (the ex) said that dia sendiri tak tahan dengan perangai i, and that is the reason why we broke off dulu. and he said i should think deeply that after so many years, he (my bf) still love me and stays by me.


hrm...i guess i should be thankful. but you know la, guys kan unpredictable and very annoying sometimes. my bf, ergghhhh....i dont why but i just love him to death despite what he had done to me. i really love him, and many people didn't know that. but i know my bf knows about it. he should know that i really love him.


anyway sayang, if you read this, thank you for the flowers. sangat2 terkejut but i love it so much. mama terus jeles lepas balik office tadi and mula cari gaduh dengan ayah kenapa dia x dapat bunga. dia kata bf saya romantik. *gelak*


im sorry for these past few weeks. i know i never been a good gf to you and selalu marah-marah. but i love you and i wanted to say how sorry i am. we learn from mistakes, don't we? thank you for always be there for me. terima kasih jugak sebab terima saya seadanya saya.


walaupun dah terlambat 3 hari, still i want to wish you happy 6th year and 8months of our anniversary. i love you and forever i will.


*senyum*

How to not feel like a Loser?

When you feel like macam semua benda tak kena, what do you do?

if i were under pressure, a big one, i always put myself to cry. it's one of my way to heal myself, my heart respectively. so, i've been crying a lot lately, just to cast away a few pressureness of myself.

another way is to listen to a song or many songs, and please choose the most devastated, kira macam lagu yang paling buruk yang buat kita rasa a bit better than that song. i mean nasib kita lebih baik sikit dari lirik lagu tu, then you won't feel that sorry for yourself.

then, i will start to compare myself, my situations and my problems if any, to any person revolving around me yang could have been slightly had the worst situation and problem, then i will feel better.

for example, that person has bought a fairlady warna putih at my age, i feel so envy. than i will start comparing myself to a person who has to take rakit just to go to kedai runcit next door. kesian kan?contoh la.

anyway, tadi took my car jalan-jalan sekitar taman. drivers behind my car mesti pissed off gila sebab i drove like lagi lambat dari siput, just because i was thinking about what's happening to me right now, im crying while driving, talking to myself on how to solve that problem, start comparing myself with others. ingat tadi nak drive-through McD, but yeah traffic agak teruk and fuel was like ada 2 bars je, so malas nak isi minyak, i just drove home.

Soalan Utama:

Kalau kita mengharap akan sesuatu untuk terjadi, tapi ia tak terjadi, apa yang akan kamu buat?

1. lupakan saja hasrat dan harapan itu dan mulakan hidup baru.
2. berusaha sampai menjadi kenyataan walaupun anda telah berusaha selama lebih dari bertahun-tahun.
3. tidak mulakan hidup baru dan masih mengharap.
4. redha dan berserah dengan ketentuan Allah untuk ia tak terjadi (tidak berharap sangat).
5. redha dan berserah dengan ketentuan Allah untuk ia jadi (berharap).

you can also leave any other answers/ questions. pandangan masing-masing kan?i just have some thoughts in my mind.

*senyum*

Review Muzikal Tun Mahathir

Tarikh : 6 Oktober 2010
Masa : 8.30pm - 1.00am
Tempat : Istana Budaya, Kuala Lumpur

If you are not a big fan of the superior genius person, Tun Mahathir Mohamad, you should watch this theatre musical, so that you could be one of his many fans.

*gelak*

anyway, it started off nicely in the beginning, a little shaky in the middle, and "oh wow.." (in a good way) towards the end of the show. untuk bukan peminat seni yang obsesi seperti saya, tentu ini adalah bukan review yang terbaik untuk anda baca. sekadar menggunakan review ini untuk meletakkan your personal expectation, boleh la.

*senyum*

scene2 yang menarik adalah dari permulaan show iaitu ketika Che Det dilahirkan, sampailah Che Det berkahwin dengan the cutest Dr Siti Hasmah. masa dia jadi doktor. tak ingat berapa lama scene itu, tapi a few hours jugaklah that part, memang sangat tak boring. seronok sangat feels like nak dancing plak kat situ.

bagi peminat politik, second part of the show where Che Det dah entered politics, the bloodbath scene, resignation of his deputies and many more, maybe could catch your attention. for me yang sangat tak minat sejarah, this one is not my cup of tea. sekadar tengok dan well, actually bagus jugak la sebab there are a few things yang i tak tau pun pasal Che Det and his contribution. informasi itu penting.

lepas tue masuk scene Che Det punya contributions. Proton, Sepang, KLIA, KLCC, Putrajaya dan etc semua dipaparkan. kan dah cakap dia nie genius?siapa lagi yang boleh buat infrastruktur sebaik dia?ada tapi tak sebaik dia. masa ni rasa sangat berkobar-kobar nak berjaya macam dia.

*senyum*

last part paling hebat. started off dengan scene Che Det letak jawatan masa perhimpunan UMNO tahun 2003 tak silap (malas nak google). sedih gila. masa nie scene Che Det dipujuk oleh ramai menteri video, continue lagi dengan Dr Siti Hasmah pujuk dia. it was a very sad moment. i even heard a few people yang dah menangis belah row depan2 and belakang2. me?urmm....sedih jugak, but not strong enough to force me to cry. hee..tapi seriously memang sedih.

out of 5 bintang, i give 4 and half. so what is wrong with another half of the stars?

1. bagi satu watak kepada dua orang (zizan nin & esma daniel) adalah susah untuk bagi standing ovation kat mana-mana pun, unless at the end of the show korang cakap "zizan nin dan esma daniel sebagai Tun Mahathir!!". barulah boleh.
2. masa part mula scene Tun letak jawatan sampailah Dr. Siti Hasmah (erra fazira) pujuk Tun (esma) adalah sangat2 sedih dan nearly made me cry, and ada jugak yang dah menangis. at the end of that scene, erra nyanyi. that was totally strike out!!erra menanyi cepat sangat while kitorang nye mood masih lagi dalam sedih. the lagu not sedih enough ok (agak catchy although it was a sad song). i hope that masa Tun pegi, the light is dim and off dalam 30secs, barulah kemudian start scene nyanyi. mesti superb!!
3. and parking kat Istana Budaya half of it was closed. i just don't get it.

selections of actors (if that's what you called them) adalah bagus, mantap, dan tepat. esma daniel adalah pilihan tepat. i am so thankful it was not jalaluddin hassan if not, i taknak pergi pun. zizan nin pun sangat tepat. DUA SUDU darah pakistan ade la dekat zizan, so it was a good choice.haha..erra was not bad jugak. dia cantik sangat.

so, for those yang tak tengok lagi, this show is extend until the 9th October 2010. i recommend this theatre musical sebab it reminds us of who we are and what's left for us now. siapa yang benci dia, you should watch this yourself, look from his perspective. and for Tun's fans, kita doakan agar beliau sihat dan dipanjangkan umur. as you said, we still need him.

ps: next on the list- Muzikal Teater Kampung Boy by Lat.

Remembering The Last Moment

Remember the last time when you hold my hand?
it was tight and enough to keep me warm. and i love it.
i love the way you hold my hand.
i love the feeling when your fingers running through mine.

Remember the last time when you smell my perfume on my neck?
it was so close i can feel the warm of your breath.
i always have this goosebump whenever you are close.

Remember the last time when your nose tickles mine?
I love it everytime you try to kiss me.
It was short and sweet.
But it always pull me to have you more.

Remember the last time when your skin brushes mine?
I always push myself closer to you.
To feel you more.
To have you more.

And your lips.
It was red, tender, and sweet.
To kiss you is like a gift from the heaven.
I can never get enough of your kisses.

To love you, means to have you.
And i have to have you,
Simply because i love you.

ps: charlie st cloud. watch it and you'll get what is this all about..teehee..=)

Hari Mimpi

hari ni suppose untuk jadi :

1. hari yang paling bahagia.
2. hari yang paling happy.
3. hari yang paling mengada-mengada.
4. hari yang paling nakal-nakal.
5. hari yang paling bukan diri sendiri.
6. hari yang paling seronok untuk ingat hari-hari nakal yang lepas.
7. dan hari yang penuh kasih sayang.

*senyum*

tapi itu semua kenangan. kenangan yang penuh dengan gelak tawa, suka dan duka.

semalam adalah satu hari yang tak tidur sampai ke subuh. tiba-tiba terlelap. dan pukul 7 pagi terbangun sambil air mata tak henti-henti mengalir.

mengalir kerana mimpi semalam yang penuh emosi. mimpi sampai menangis hingga ke alam realiti.

*diam*

ps: selamat hari cinta. and i still madly deeply in love with you sampai ke hujung nyawa.

Harapan Cuma

bila kita letakkan sesuatu harapan yang SANGAT tinggi pada sesuatu benda, atau pada seseorang, kita tend to wait for it to happen like every second of the day. and yet bila sesuatu itu tidak terjadi, kita macam gedebush golek jatuh ke bawah, ke tempat yang paling dalam dan gelap.

for a less stronger people, menangis la ubat penahannya. untuk seketika sahaja.sampai bengkak-bengkak mata. sampai takde suara. sampai di setiap hujung kata itu ada sedu sedannya.

*diam*

tipula kalau kata i don't even have a hope for something. i have. and it is a lot. ada sekali tu, bila tak dapat ape yang diinginkan, i feel like i want to die. tapi..entahlah. takde la sampai nak bunuh diri. i mean, i REALLY wanted to die, tapi biarla malaikat maut cabut sendiri, bukan i ask for it to come.

*senyum*

and this time it happen again. i wish and i prayed a lot for it to happen (ok mungkin tak cukup sembahyang ke doa ke ape), but it didn't happen. it's more like a turning point, where everything yang i ada, sekarang dah takde. it is gone. and i don't think it will come back.

and yes. i feel like i WANTED to die, and yes i cried a lot, and yes di setiap hujung kata-kata itu ada sedu sedannya. and it HURTS so so so much rasa macam nak cabut segala hati, sendi, urat yang ada.

lagi-lagi bila sudah ada bunyi-bunyi nyanyian sumbang yang bermain disekeliling. tidakkah mereka faham? atau mereka sudah punya segala lalu dilontar rasa tidak puas hati itu kepada orang yang less fortunate?

oh hati dan nyawa, bersatulah untuk jadi lebih kuat untuk hari-hari yang datang. bila dunia sudah tidak mahukan kita, pasti ALLAH itu sentiasa ada untuk kita. kan?

*senyum*

Leaving

i am really not in a good mood.

i mean like really really not in a good mood.

if i have a ticket to go abroad, i'm tottaly in.

leave everything behind.

leave everyone behind.

Allah, hanya kepada Mu aku meminta. amin.

Getting Married

ok. shock sangat malam nie. i got a good news- my ex is getting married next year!!or perhaps it was a bad news?but somehow deep inside my heart, i feel relief. sebab i tahu, he doesn't have any heart and hope at me, and i don't have to be guilty and pretended like i still love him. well, i did love him-as a friend.

but he's still young. my ex is a year younger than me, and his soon-to-be wife is a year younger than him. dulu dia cakap, dia akan getting married at the age of 30 but last night when i was ym-ing him, he told me the whole story.

memang terkejut sangat since i think i need him as a close friend now, lagi-lagi bila dilanda musibah bencana alam yang datang tak diundang ni, but what else can i do?people dah move on. i think i need to move on with my life jugak. although we did have some history back then, but i don't think i need to be clinging onto somebody as if like we have something ke ape.

so tadi i told him not to be close to some of his girl friends, takut his soon-to-be wife get jealous or something, boleh timbul fitnah and everything. i told him untuk jaga that girl sebaik mungkin without ever hurting her. i cakap jugak jangan msg i (and other girls too) selalu, unless it is something important like life-and-death situation.

hrm, even my exes pon dah nak kahwin. dah la lagi muda.

*gelak*

at one point, i just feel i need to build my own family, and have kids, and ada suami yang mencintai kita sepenuh jiwa dan raga. kan?? it should be fun, balik rumah, cuddling2 dengan hubby, and get a good night sleep, esok pagi bangun nampak muka dia lagi, cuddling2 lagi, maybe ask him to get an EL, so that boleh cuddling2 lagi.

*gelak*

alhamdulilah. i am happy for my ex. although i tak sangka sesecepat ini, but i think he really did a good job with his future. atleast dia tahu apa yang penting dalam hidup dia. i doakan everything will go well for him.and bahagia hingga akhir hayat dia.

so now,i will go hunting. any single lion out there?rrooaarr!!


ps: ok. from now on, i will stop hunting. im the bait. eat me! teehee..

Hilangnya Cinta

Bila cinta kini
Tak lagi bermakna
Yang ku rasa kini
Hanyalah nestapa
Ditinggalkan cinta masa lalu

Dulu kau tawarkan
Manisnya janjimu
Yang ku sambut itu
Dengan segenap hatiku
Bila engkau pergi
Tinggalkanku

Hilangnya cintamu
Menusuk hatiku
Hingga ku memilih
Cinta yang fana

Perginya dirimu merobek jantungku
Hingga ku terjatuh
Dalam harapan....




-OST Lagenda Budak Setan-