berubah hati

you know the story where my husband says "dunia ini ibarat neraka bagi mukmin.."? yup. now he started around saying, "lelaki beriman tidak akan bagi aurat isteri menjadi tontonan orang lain...". okay now i'm speechless. hahaha....i don't know what to say.i know it is COMPULSORY for us muslim to wear it, but.....yeah, i know we have to but......

ever heard of, "when there's a will, there's a way?". yup. i still dont have the will...not something to be proud of. but i need to be a very good muslim and human being inside and out. i dont want people to look down on me. you know, where you wear tudung, but you bad mouthing people, you talk about other people a lot instead of reciting surah or zikrullah, you go to clubs, you wear tight clothes short shirt where all the bumps and boobies can be seen from far away, you dont pray 5 times a day, you dont feel gratefull for all the things you have now, you watch uncensored things, you think negatively all the time in which we have to 'berprasangka baik' thing etc etc. you know.

i dont like that. i dont like when people wear tudung, but still they have that kind of attitude. i have highly respect for those muslim yang bertudung. men, you've gotta be strong sebab you have to wear tudung and have great attitude. that must be hard. but you did it!you should be proud. unlike me.

to husband,
dont worry. i won't be like this until the end of time. people change, and i will change too, you know, to be a better me, and better us. i need time, and maybe my effort too, to change who i am today. but i like to take a small step rather than changing 360 and do things as above.

but one thing for sure, my love for you will never change.although i selalu garang2 and cari gaduh and merajuk all the time, i still love you. ok daddy?

now i want to eat nasi arab.k bai.