2 days with her

dua hari lepas, i cuti. well, annual leave i banyak lagi rupanya (lucky me sebab when we changed management, my unused leave can be carried forward...yeay!). so monday hantar babypie cucuk 5 bulan. cried once, and then she was okay. i mean lepas cucuk, nangis sekali, and lepas tu gelak. i was like, "amboi, pura-pura sangat kan?". prftt...

i think sophea was really enjoying the mother-daughter time. i mean, she'll cry when she can't see me, contohnye i pergi dapur masak ke or pergi toilet wee wee ke. she even cried when i stand up to switch off the fan. prftt.... melampau sangat kan.

but it really melt my heart when once, i lied down next to her, and took out my phone to take our pictures together, she was really enjoying herself taking pictures with me, she smile everytime i took photo of us, she touched my face literally my cheek and mouth when taking pictures. i think she tried to play jokes on me. but she was too cute and her action just took my breath away.

and all the time she'll look at the camera, and alternately looking at me. tsk...she's just being sweet with her mommy, isn't she?

then bila dalam pukul 7pm camtu daddy balik after two days outstation. bukak je pintu, daddy said, "assalammualaikum..." (we've been practicing to wish assalammualaikum everytime she wakes up from sleep, or after a long time didn't see her). and sophea was laughing excitedly to see her daddy.

ok, memang melt away rasanye. both me and husband smile to each other to see her 'intelligent' actions. bila daddy agah2 dia pun, still she laughing excitedly. and she kept looking at her daddy. even masa both of us having our dinner together with sophea on my lap, she kept turning and tossing around to have a good look at her daddy.

my babies. owh...owhh.... *love*

lepas daddy dia balik, usually memang encik husband akan update all his work stories and we will share and update each other about the day. so baby sophea was like diligently listened to whatever things we said and talked about. i tak perasan sangat sebab encik husband yang dokong sophea and i was busy preparing to serve dinner.

but encik husband pointed this out this morning when he sent me to work. " macam semalam la, sophea dengar jer bile kite borak2 semalam...".

we were so obsessed with her, even on our way to work pun boleh scroll her pictures and videos. awww..... overly attached parents. hahaha...

esok only i can amek her at MIL's. cuti dua hari and stayed at home with her is just exciting. really you can't get enough of her. so i guess, when encik husband can give me rm2000+ per month nett, i'll stop working daddy.

promise. hahahaha!

Jeruk Pak Ali Pulau Pinang

you know last time we went to Pulau Pinang to attend encik husband's friend's wedding? yup, and it was so fun! anyway, kalau pergi penang tapi tak beli jeruk adalah bukan "visiting penang". katenye lah.

so we went to Chow Rasta to buy some of the jeruk. usually i bought the one yang ah soh or apek jual, quite cheap there, dalam half kg for rm5 kot camtu. memang murah. but this time around, since encik husband ikot, dia kate beli yang jeruk pak ali.

well, of course jeruk pak ali sangat mahal, kalau compare dengan jeruk yang ah soh or apek jual. but looking at the bright side, jeruk pak ali claimed that diorang punya jeruk lebih healthier and delicious compared to other jeruks. jeruk pak ali jual dalam half kg rm10 kot. where else jeruk chow rasta jual half kg rm5. double the price.

anyway, no doubt memang sedap and tak sakit tekak makan.

that night bila sampai rumah, i was just started to prepare our dinner when suddenly encik husband appear on my back, while holding scissors and a packet of jeruk. jeruk mangga is his favourite.after cutting the packet, encik husband took a sip of the cuka jeruk tu. and when i saw that, i straightly shouted,

 "sayang! janganlah minum air jeruk tu!!"

"kenapeeee...... tak boleh ke? " with his sad face.

"bukan tak boleh....tapi tak elok..."

then he poured the air jeruk dalam sinki. and shouted back,

"sayang! kenapa buang air jeruk tu!!"

"sayang cakap tak boleh minum....."

"memanglah tak boleh minum, tapi you buang kenapa.....?"

and with the bored look on his face, he just went off to the living room, with the packet of jeruk.

***

i mean, com'on! people will understand right, you can't drink the air jeruk, but that doesn't mean you can throw the air jeruk. semua tau kan yang air jeruk tu act as a preservative untuk jeruk tu tahan lama. that's the point jeruk boleh tahan berbulan-bulan.

so now what? we have to finish the jeruk(s) within a month?????!!?? *pengsan*

samsung s3 tiba-tiba tak boleh on

is this thing happen to u?well well well, you are not alone in this situation, because you got me! hahaha...perasan sangat. anyway, kalau tiba2 handphone s3 korang tak boleh on, tetiba semalam okay je scroll instagram and now sekarang tak boleh on langsung. bateri habis?try nak charge pun tak keluar icon charging bateri tu kan? tapi LED biru tu menyala. kalau ade yang try switch on pun, ada rasa macam vibrate sekali dua je, lepas tu dah takde vibration kan?

yer, handphone s3 saya pun macam tu la keadaanya, sebelum doctor pronounced 'sudden death' . hahaha....gitu. sudden death yer. bukan manusia je boleh, handphone pun nak jugakkk.

the death
a day before tu, i was with my family having a nice lunch at seoul garden. having s3, i used that as my camera to take all the pictures since my baby sister dah nak fly UK weekend tu. so kitorang went out and have fun, best sebab my small family semua cukup corrum.

due to the excessive used of camera, batery dah flat out. being me ( a mother of one), handphone dah tak jadi priority sangat, so bila batery mati, i just let it sat in my handbag, until that one sweet guy (psttt...encik husband la who else?) akan keluarkan dari handbag and charge kan untuk i. sweet sangat dan being me, amik kesempatan memang suka...hahaha... sebab tau dia akan chargekan, i memang buat dek je dengan handphone s3 tu.

so bila dia charge, i pun okay je la takde check ape. dah one full day ni charge, no icon, lampu LED s3 menyala, tapi still tak boleh on. called encik husband, die datang switched on pun, ade vibrate sekali, lampu LED biru still menyala, but still nothing appears on the s3 screen.

damn, apehal?? risau dah ni. tapi tak risau sangat la. kalau sebelum kahwin, haruslah laju2 beli cari handphone baru (dan yang pasti bukan s3). dah kahwin duk serumah ni dah depan mata, happy je pun takde handphone.

then, malam second day tu pun, tak boleh on. encik husband being a sweet guy, go la google for me the problem. so here was what we found regarding the s3 phone:

" SDS(Sudden Death Syndrome) is a very bad bug which is killing a lot of Galaxy S3′s. But what is this bug and what does it do?Well,everything starts with the memory chip of the Galaxy S3. It it not an well finished chip, so it degrades after some amount of time using the phone.Not every Galaxy S3 has this chip,so download this app to check the version of the chip your Galaxy S3 has.If you have the insane chip then you are in danger, if not,you are safe "
- www.naldotech.com


"SDS or Sudden Death Syndrome commonly affects the Galaxy S3 16GB variant which can cause panic once it happens.
Causes: Flash Memory eMMC chip on the device.
Solution 1: If the device manages to boot up again, install an app called eMMC Brickbug Check to determine if your device is affected.
Solution 2: In case your Galaxy S3 is suffering from it, go straight to the nearest Samsung Support Centre to get it fixed or have it replaced."
 - au.ibtimes.com

Solution
tak tunggu lama. we all sent the phone to the shop in cyberjaya. memang kitorang beli kat situ, and dapat warranty samsung original sebab kitorang beli under dataplan Digi. so that kedai memang promise if anything happen hantar kat dia, or boleh straight pergi kat Digi Service Centre kat Solaris Mont Kiara. kitorang pernah pergi dulu masa kitorang beli Blackberry, scroll die rosak.

i only bought the samsung s3 phone for 5months dah jadi macam ni. so sikit sakit hati la, but im all good now. so siapa yang ada masalah camni, just go to your shop yang u beli s3 tu, or sape yang fall under my case, pergi la Digi service center.

Advice
sebab tu i always advice my friend, not to buy unauthorized phone. sebab kita tak tau dari mana phone tu datang, and we dont have the knowledge to identifiy whether the phone is original, recond, or fake. so, untuk elak daripada dapat phone yang ditipu, belilah from the authorized dealer macam Digi, Maxis, Celcom etc etc depends on ur telco provider la kan. sebab anything, diorang akan ade warranty for the phone and services.

so, i waited almost one month (dan sebulan tu kena still bayar data plan jugak la...komitmen pun kan). so baru dapat semalam, agak teruja jugaklah, sebab amoi tu cakap, samsung tukar the whole screen. i tanya kenapa phone i mati, dia cakap screen problem. so i guess betul jugak sebab encik husband cakap, dia whatsapp and call i, phone i still receive tapi tengok phone takde pape. sobs!

article
according to the article mentioned above, i dah download samsung free apss " eMMC check", alhamdulilah, handphone i contained "sane chip". alhamdulilah. so maybe betullah lah screen problem and not SDS. so better u all download sekarang before hilang semuanya.

* thank you encik husband sebab jadi my knight in shining armor. tolong hantar and amek and cek all that. carikan fon baru untuk i, just to makesure you can call and message me. i owe u so much. i love u and thanks for everything.

Terlajak Habis Semuanya

so yesterday was my puasa day. saje puasa sunat dan puasa ganti. tapi orang kate tak boleh sekali kan? takpela, Tuhan tahu. back from the work, encik husband fetch me quite late. kerja macam dia tu pun nak balik lambat. bukan dapat bonus 12 bulan ponnn...hahaha... tapi tu la kite panggil keikhlasan, berkhidmat untuk negara untuk rakyat. sayang, ingat kerja kerna ikhlas. jangan banyak merungut. i baca somewhere, dia cakap Allah kata kalau rezeki yang sedikit tu pun kita merungut, rezeki yang banyak pun kita akan buat benda yang sama. so, semoga murah rezeki, and that rezeki will be showered to me and baby sophea. hehehe.... i want to go London. you know that.... hehehe...

i thought of cooking sambal telur. just simple dish, sebab kitorang berdua je pon kat rumah. prfttt....macam la kalau sophea ade kat rumah boleh makan besar, makan pon tak pandai lagi...hahaha... i siap beli telur kat KKmart area ofis i tu.hahaha.....and bought a small box of cornflakes and fresh milk, untuk sahur esok konon. then, encik husband kept teasing me all the way from my office to putrajaya, asking whether i wanted to have some arabian and iranian cuisine that night.

haihhh.....i really thought we were in this together. you know, diet program. diet program i senang. no rice, no oil, no fat, no sugary drinks. yang lain boleh masuk. ni dah encik husband tetiba ajak makan nasi arab kat cyber kenapa?? kedengkian kan disitu. but, since i was am so determined, i tak makan pun nasi last night. and so do encik husband. tetiba bangga dengan dia sebab dia boleh decline nasi. hello !*waiving* encik husband? no nasi? he must took all the effort and determination to pulled it through. hahahaha..... ended up, we had lamb kebab. one meal, shared by two. tapi air bapak gelas besar sorang satu. tapi kenyang rasa nak muntah.

yang i marah sangat, sampai rumah our next activity is to go for a jog. light jog and then lift some weight. masa tu dah kul 9.00pm. i kemas2 rumah sikit, masuk bilik nampak encik husband tengah meriah2 baring kat katil. and then he said, "sayang....cube you baring kat sini..". i jeling jela, sebab i tau kalau i dah start baring, memang tak bangun nyer dah. sekali betul. dia ajak lagi and then dua2 tertido sampai pagi. dengan kipas terbukak, pintu tak tutup, lampu tak tutup, pintu toilet tak tutup. astagfirullah...tak tau la nak jadi apa kitorang ni. hahahaha...

pastu pagi2 perli i, "semalam sayang jogging ke??". kalau korang , ade rasa nak hempuk dia tak? ade, kan?i pun!! *senyum lebar* musnah harapan i nak add on calories. pfrtttttttt...benci sangat!

anyway, i terbangun kul 2 pagi tu, tutup lampu semua, basuh kain, jemur kain, masukkan pinggan and utensils dalam kabinet, lipat kain sambil tengok "whitehouse down", encik husband dah download kan. awesome gile citer tu. ade channing tatum yang sexy, so, worth watching! in between, i pause kejap and went to check encik husband. switched on the aircond, and selimutkan die, dengan tido tak berbaju. haihh...dia tu bukan boleh. kang pagi2 selsema sejuk sangat la, sakit perut la ape la. so selimutkan lah die ketat2 macam sophea kene bedung, so i pun buat yang sama kat daddy die. kiss him goodnight and went out.

tau2 dah kul 4.30am i pun buat omellete untuk sahur i. makan gosok gigi, kul 5.30am masuk tidur to encik husband. bangun pagi ni 7.30am. hahaha....i bangun awal okay, encik husband tu sebok pelok kedap2 tak bagi bangun. haihh...ofis die dekat 5 minit je pon dari rumah. tapi i pon snuggle balik kat bawah ketiak dia. bukan selalu dapat tidur berdua camni. kalau baby sophea ade, haruslah pelok baby sophea. hahaha...

malam ni katenye nak gi pasar malam. nak borong bahan mentah. yums yums!

People Change, and It's About Time

a few weeks ago i went for my friend's daughter 1st birthday party. whoahh...i passed the stage and phase of attending engagement ceremonies and weddings, and now slipped into attending baby showers and children birthday parties. hikhik..how fast time flies nowadays. motherhood. but i like it. in fact, i love it a lot! as i owned a child now, i love babies more than i can imagine. and when i see posts of babies getting abused or in bad health condition, i will be moody and sad the whole day, and even cry at the office.

sounds like a mother, much? hahaha....yeah yeah....i'm 'cengeng' like that. and i will go pestering my husband, saying "B, how can people be so mean??", "B, kenapa diorang bodoh sangat...sakit la baby tu.." , "sayang....i cried at the office sebab tengok baby kena dera...". and you know what my husband will say?

"that's why i don't watch those kind of videos....". prfffffttttt!! whatever...i don't care!

so anyway, masa kitorang tengah lepak2 makan kat birthday party tu, the abang was talking about not-meeting-his-firends-and-go-lepak thing. he said that, at his age (30), people are no longer go lepak. even the guys were already married (most of them) and they like to spend their times with their kids and families rather than go lepak with friends.heh..

 you know, i believed, that one day, everyone will eventually going through the same thing. just like him, and just like me. you know, went for school, passed high school, entered college, passed college, working world, get married, have kids, our kids getting married, got cucu, and grow old with the one you love *waive at husband*, and die. the last part is PASTI.

don't go crazy by saying, "i'm not going to get married.." or "i'm going to die aloneeee...". hahaha....no you're not! we are human. human basically doing the same thing..err....or common thing. it's either you first or me first. having you-first or me-first is not a competition by the way. but we are human. we compete.

anyway, i just wanna say how bless i am, and how thankful i am to Allah (mostly) sebab jalan yang Dia tuliskan untuk i sangat-sangat sempurna segalanya. i've been to my worst and weakest spot ever in my life that i feel there is no point of me living in this world, but alhamdulilah, Allah Maha Mendengar. and Dia tau apa yang terbaik untuk kita.

that's why i said, Allah is the Most Powerful. Dia bagi kekuatan yang i tak pernah tau i ada. bila i ingat balik that time , i know that i will be strong for whatever come by may. for once, i know Allah ada dengan i. people can't never understand, but i know. i just know it. *smile*

so, i think i'm doing great now. having sophea with me are indeed the most precious best priceless gift i could ever had. and encik husband, i know i can't get a man that as good as him. heee....macam semalam, we we just get back from penang, attending friend's wedding. penat memang penat. balik tu encik husband asked me to cooked. fine, tak kisah pun as i love cooking (pleasing him). so bahan2 pun terhad, i just cooked paprik, telur dadar, that's all. so as i was cooking, he put all his effort to unpack our luggage, sort things back to their places. even the tupperware pun dia dah siap basuh.

bila dia buat camni, kadang2 ada benda yang i nak marah pun tak jadi nak marah. i rasa kalau lelaki lain balik rumah tidur je terus. (if i were a man, a husband, i'll do that....hahahaha). yela kan, lantak lah, dah kerja wife. wife buat la. tapi takkkk....not my husband.

cuma lepas makan nasi paprik tu tambah dua kali, dia terus tidur. i masa tu dah gigil2 lapar jugak, tapi sophea was having hard time to sleep (die memang selalu camtu...nak tidur je ada masalah....hahah), takkan nak pass kat encik husband semata nak makan. tak patut sungguh. so i dodoikan sophea until she fell asleep. tapi 2 minit je lepas i letak dia kat sofa, and tengah suap nasi barang 2 suap camtu, die dah bangun. tangan i ada sambal belacan okay. hahaha....

and from now on (eceh...setiap kali pun camni), i promise to try not to pick a fight with encik husband over small things and silly things. kesian la kat die. dia dah buat macam2 kat i. punnnn nak ajak gaduh lagi. hahaha... i just love them to death. i am.

Tounge Tie or Pendek Lidah

Apparently my babygirl was diagnosed (eh boleh guna ke diagnosed ni?haha) with tounge tie, atau orang melayu panggil lidah pendek. tapi dalam bahasa medical term is ankyloglossia.my brother dulu masa dia kecik-kecik pun ade benda ni, and my brother in law pun ade tounge tie but he doesn't go for the procedure sebab dia bukan major sangat pun. he can speak well.

it's all in the gene bebeh, hahaha....anyway, so we were lucky sebab my mother perasan yang sophea was having the same problem macam my brother.

symptom
ade a few things yang sophea buat yang leads to tounge tie. antaranya:
1. bila breastfeed, my nipple will hurt so much and bleeds sebab ade cut. i think mungkin sophea sucked my boobs kuat sangat, atau since she cant hold it with her tounge so dia kemam dengan gusi dia kot.
2. bila menyusu, she can't lick her lips, or to clean her own mouth. so i kena la lap selalu susu dia tu.
3. jarang menangis or menangis ada bunyik tenggelam sikit dan tak nyaring. (but sophea memang jarang nangis but when she cries, OH EM GEE sangat kuat gilerr....hahaha)
4. dia tak boleh keluarkan lidah.

procedure
so, masa first2 kitorang nak check sophea's tounge, we went to Klinik Kesihatan (goverment) sebab masa tu pon sophea's punye check up, dah alang2 tu kan tanya sekali. so it was free.so the doctor said it might be tounge tie, but she asked me to go for specialist sebab dia general doctor sahaja bukan peds (aik,tapi kerja kat klinik ibu dan anak....aaaa camne ni?)

then we went to hospital pusrawi kajang, sebab sophea pernah check up kat situ pasal skin and sunat. so dah ade record, and kitorang tau kat situ dah ade peds, and lagi satu dekat dengan rumah mother in law, so hence. then kat situ the peds, Dr Baizura cakap memang tounge tie, so dia just buat referral letter to pediatrician surgeon. kitorang mintak dia buat dua surat; satu untuk government hospital, and satu lagi private hospital.

then kitorang pergi KPJ Tawakal untuk set up appointment. we met with the famous doctor, Dr Zahrin. but actually we dont have to meet him, sepatutnye kite terus jumpe peds surgeon sebab dah ade referral letter tu. but takpelah, belajar dari kesilapan. then Dr Zahrin referred us to the pediatrician surgeon, Dr Zulkilfli. masa jumpe Dr Zahrin tu pagi, then appointment dengan Dr Zulkifli tu kul 2.30pm. kitorang balik tu kemas2 rumah nak pindah from KL to Putrajaya.

surgery
so kul 2.30pm sampailah kitorang kat klinik Dr Zulkifli. ade 3 orang sebelum kitorang. ingatkan cepat, sekali kul 3.30pm jugaklah masuk.

sophea was placed on the surgery table. the Dr put his two fingers under sophea's tounge to hold it. in just 10seconds, the Dr cut her extra membrane (causes of tounge tie) and so she screamed out loud. hahaha...no anesthetic watsoever. i guess it hurt alot sebab ade bleeding and sophea nangis dah macam apa. i terfikir jugak kenapa Dr tak bagi bius but i guess he knows better.

so to stop the bleeding, i was given a cotton swab to put some pressure on the cut. dalam 30mints camtu, darah stop dah. we were not allowed to give her milk or pacifier so i just pujuk2 dia and dodoikan die tu calm her down.

(mommy was crying sebab tak pernah tengok sophea sakit macam tu...sobs...even mommy can feel your pain sayang....sobs sobs...)

after that, Dr asked to check on sophea again. and she was smiling and giggles at the Dr. prfttt.....

malam tu dia ade fever sikit, maybe sebab badan dia tahan sakit cut tu kan. we gave her some liquid paracetamol, and after a few hours baru dia nak tido. meragam sikit la malam tu. merengek-rengek.

now
sophea was okay. sekarang suka main saliva dia sendiri. prfttt....orang baru dapat lidah katenye...hahaha...

all together, daddy paid dalam rm400++ camtu kot. so not that expensive pun. but lobang jugakklah wallet daddy and lepas tu mommy takleh request nak makan chillis...hahahaha...

***

whatever it is, kitorang bersyukur sangat semua selamat untuk sophea. hopefully dia akan jadi sihat and berjaya in whatever things she do. mommy and daddy just boleh doakan and tunjuk jalan yang baik untuk sophea. but semua terpulang kat sophea macam mana nak jadi orang yang berjaya dalam hidup.

berubah hati

you know the story where my husband says "dunia ini ibarat neraka bagi mukmin.."? yup. now he started around saying, "lelaki beriman tidak akan bagi aurat isteri menjadi tontonan orang lain...". okay now i'm speechless. hahaha....i don't know what to say.i know it is COMPULSORY for us muslim to wear it, but.....yeah, i know we have to but......

ever heard of, "when there's a will, there's a way?". yup. i still dont have the will...not something to be proud of. but i need to be a very good muslim and human being inside and out. i dont want people to look down on me. you know, where you wear tudung, but you bad mouthing people, you talk about other people a lot instead of reciting surah or zikrullah, you go to clubs, you wear tight clothes short shirt where all the bumps and boobies can be seen from far away, you dont pray 5 times a day, you dont feel gratefull for all the things you have now, you watch uncensored things, you think negatively all the time in which we have to 'berprasangka baik' thing etc etc. you know.

i dont like that. i dont like when people wear tudung, but still they have that kind of attitude. i have highly respect for those muslim yang bertudung. men, you've gotta be strong sebab you have to wear tudung and have great attitude. that must be hard. but you did it!you should be proud. unlike me.

to husband,
dont worry. i won't be like this until the end of time. people change, and i will change too, you know, to be a better me, and better us. i need time, and maybe my effort too, to change who i am today. but i like to take a small step rather than changing 360 and do things as above.

but one thing for sure, my love for you will never change.although i selalu garang2 and cari gaduh and merajuk all the time, i still love you. ok daddy?

now i want to eat nasi arab.k bai.

Lintas

semalam ribut taufan kan? gila scary. tapi i was from my office tu terang jer pon although masa tu dalam kul 7.00pm. gelap tapi angin pun takde. and macam biasa i dalam train harus tidur. he he he. dulu masa tengok akak-akak yang tidur dalam train ni mengape la mereka tidur kan. tak cukup rehat ke kat rumah?

NOW DAH ADE SOPHEA barulah mengetahui.ha ha ha!

actually bukan tidur sebab penat, tapi sebab rasa tu jerr free time yang ade nak tidur. so anyway, tertidurlah saya dalam train, tau2 bila dah keluar tunnel hujan selebat-lebatnyer. cehhhh patut la sedap2 je tidur. hikhik!

abang kite amek kat station, punyelah ramai orang. lepas tu satu lagi tak faham dengan orang yang memandu kereta. KORANG MEMANG TAK BOLEH BAGI JALAN KAT PEJALAN KAKI KE NAK MELINTAS? dah la masa tu hujan lebat, korang dalam kereta kot, TAKKAN BASAH. and sah2 yang jalan kaki tu basah. so bagi la diorang lintas dulu. ni pejalan kaki yang kena tunggu tepi jalan dalam hujan nak bagi orang bawak kereta lalu.

tak faham la dengan manusia yang ada attitude macam ni. tak kisahlah melayu ke cina ke india ke kadazan ke, rasanya agama korang semua ajar kan sifat BELAS KASIHAN sesama makhluk? *geleng2 kepala* so please k, starting from today, please be alert dengan orang sekeliling, especially orang yang 'lemah' dari kita. eg macam kes pejalan kaki dgn pemandu kereta tu tadi la.

***

malam ni dating dengan boyfriend kat hotel. woot woot....eee, tak sabar sangat rasa nyer. ha nampak tak ke eksited an i tu?yela, dah lame tak berdatingan macam ni. tapi kadang2 dating berdua, our topic mainly about sophea. budak kecik demok ciom shedapp tu...he he he.

oh, sophea sekarang dah start to recognized people. so dia dah macam nak and taknak kat orang. aiyoo...difficult la like this. takut die meraung dengan orang. hrmm... how to encounter eh?i know....meet mo re people! socializing! heeee..... ok daddy, dah boleh start bawak sophea jalan2 pergi playground...

eh oklah, nanti sambung borak.

nak prepare exam...daaa!

Perasaan Itu

lately ni i selalu tengok gambar masa kitorang kahwin dulu. gambar bersanding, gambar honeymoon, and paling best tengok gambar masa baru pindah rumah. bila tengok gambar kitorang bukak hadiah kahwin, susun dalam almari semua, seronok sangat.

masa tu i cuti lama.
encik husband isnin tu kerja, siap balik kul 11 malam lagi. i was the one who fetched him at the office. boss dia cina tu mesti rasa bersalah sebab let him stayed at this office lambat2 macam tu. hahaha....marriage is not just about *ehem* okay. it is more than that. macam understanding and honesty. walaupun honestly speaking, i memang tak faham kerja encik husband (dan malas tak cuba memahami), and all i think about is myself, and how he should be with me like alllllllllll the time (read: overly attached wife), tapi kadang2 ada la jugak i memahami beliau.

contohnya; let him have the boy's night out.

dalam sebulan or dua bulan sekali i let him go out and have fun. (eh?ade ke?) hahaha. but encik husband sendiri suka kat rumah, palaying around with me. and now bila dah ade sophea lagi la overly attached nyer dia dengan kitorang. i like that. i rasa semua wife pun suka bila husband ade kat rumah.

bukan sebab kitorang fikir ape, it is just, when you have A MAN at home, you rasa secure. you rasa lelaki tu lebih utamakan kita dalam semua benda. bukan kah jadi sesuatu yang dipentingkan itu best?indah? he he he. sebab i rasa macam tu. bila i rasa diri i dipentingkan especially from encik husband, i selalu cakap kat diri i, untuk jadi lebih baik dan terbaik untuk encik husband.

tapi yela, i kan, walaupun kitorang dah kawan almost 10 years, dan dah kawen for more than 1 year, rasa excited menunggu setiap kali dia balik kerja tu macam sesuatu sangat. ha ha ha....i excited gila kot kalau dia nak balik. rasa dia sama macam masa dulu i tunggu die datang amek nak gi dating. teehee...and encik husband, menjadi kebiasaanye die akan call like right 5 minutes before dia sampai rumah. and kadang2 kalau i senyap je tak whatsapp die ke ape, die call or message je tanye kenapa diam.

diam la sebok dukung and ciom sophea. hahaha...

so as a human, biasalah. bila orang buat tu kite tak hargai pun. adela sekali dua dia call i biarkan je (sebenarnye susah nak reach phone bila kat rumah. dukung sophea, remember?haha), but mostly i tak dengar. so kalau tiba2 dia balik je camtu i macam terkejut jugak la. and start cari point like,  "why dont u call first...". "tak message kite pun macam selalu..."

nampak?nampak? nampak tak betapa mengadernya i dengan encik husband?wahahaha...i rasa cukup tempoh sabar dia, memang makan senduk la kot i kan. hahaha...

but i loveeeeeeeeee it bila dia message or call or bila die teringatkan i. tak kisahla i tau ke tak, tapi i buat2 jela die teringatkan i like all the time...hahahaha...

macam tengah hari tadi, dia message i,

"b makan ape tadi syg...".

tibe2 i rasa macam luluh je jantung . sebab ade 'syg' kat belakang tu. it would be a whole lot different kan between,

"b makan ape tadi?" dengan "b makan ape td syg...".

sebab "b makan ape td syg.." rasa macam encik husband cakap dengan penuh kasih sayang.

ha ha ha..... terok sgt ni rasa cinta camni ni laaaaa.....hahahahahaha

the sweetness

busy busy. tapi sempat je nak update sebab, ni jela tempat luahan rasa. nak share something. walaupun memang la takde respon tapi bila kita baca balik entry tu macam ade orang tanya kita soalan, and kita jawab. so jawapan yang kita dapat tu diguna pakai untuk selesaikan balik masalah. hahahaha....creepyyy...dah la masalah sendiri plak tu. mihmihmih...

sekarang ni macam2 perasaan ade. tapi at this moment i rasa nak sangat balik rumah i sendiri, and do one thing that i enjoy most: sleeping cleaning and cooking...heh! bila i stress or bila i gaduh dengan encik husband, i rather to have my own spot, space, and time by my own, without other people interrupting.

tahukah anda, bila saya mengalami ketegangan suasana dengan lelaki yang paling paling saya cintai, iaitu encik husband, berdiam diri selama beberapa jam (atau hari dan bulan) adalah pendekatan mudah yang saya ambil? wakakaka....haruslah encik husband amat marah dengan situasi ini. gila ape kau duk serumah tak bercakap waima sepatah perkataan pun.

tapi i rasa safe and comfortable living in my own world. heh.. dan tenang obviously.

selalu i senyap i takde fikir pun pasal punca pergaduhan, jauh sekali nak fikir cara nak end off the fight..hahahaha....i selalu macam tak fikir ape pun, and my mind just lingering around. tapi encik husband, kalau dia tak tahan, nanti dia provoke2 , yang mana akan datangkan balik amarah i, dan pergaduhan berlanjutan lagi.

seeeeee??u tak kacau i, i tak kacau u.

tapi in between ade jugak terfikir, "bila la nak baik ni..." "bila laa die nak pujuk aku ni...". tapi takde pun. nanti lama2 entah i pun tak tau nanti baik jugak. i pun tak ingat camne boleh baik.

tapi orang cakap, bila bergaduh ni, jangan ade perasaan MALAS untuk berbaik, dan jangan ade perasaan macam "lantak kau lahh". sebab this is when two hearts become aparts, and we dont want things to get uglier than the fight itself kan?

i boleh berdiam lame2, tapi nanti2 rindu sendiri. hikhik...

bila encik husband jauh2 ni mula la otak ligat fikir bukan2. shoooooohhh syaitan. sebok ajerr...

selalu soalan yang i fikir, "dia ingat tak kat i macam mana i ingat kat die?" "did he missed me as much as i missed him?". well soalan orang perempuan. lelaki bukan tau pun. bukan dia kisah pun kannn...

tapi harap2 nye die rindu la.

hrmmm....cepatlah ahad, tak sabar nak jumpe kekasih hati i ni. entah ape die bawak jajan untuk i. handbag ke? makeup ke?? ehhhhhh.......

Lelaki suka perempuan yang macam mana

ramai lagi rupenya yang the same age as I yang belum kahwin lagi. yang takde boyfriend pun ade. no, bukan salah korang. and takde kurangnye korang kalau takde boyfriend. awesome lagi ade la! but truly said, lepas i sekolah, lepas SPM, i already met encik husband and until now i am still with him. alhamdulilah but i dont know what would i do, kalau dia pergi macam tu saja. but yeah, macam mereka yang belum ada teman tu, i guess they ARE strong. apart from that, you all dah terpelihara dari dosa2 maksiat like pergi dating and all that stuff. heh...cool beans kan??

janganlah risau kalau you all dah terasa macam "hello...dah tua apehal aku takde boyfriend lagi ni?". kan Allah dah janjikan setiap yang hidup berpasangan. jadi sampai masanya ade lah. selalu orang kate save the best for last. jadi, jangan putus asa dan berserah kat Allah, kerja Tuhan manelah kite tau kan. ;)

best ke dah kahwin? frankly speaking, memang best, untuk orang yang homey macam i dengan encik husband. agaknye sebab dari kecik kitorang memang dah dibesarkan dengan persekitaran kondusif (ha nampak ayat buku kat situ...ha ha ha), so kitorang lagi rela melepak kat rumah and doing our things rather than go out and doing things that we did not like. mungkin untuk orang yang jenis keluar malam, selalu lepak luar, kahwin akan jadi perkara yang membosankan. mungkin.

tapi Allah, i really love spending time with encik husband (or family back then) kat rumah. kadang weekend tu bangun pagi gila, semata nak kemas rumah, and do some awesome cooking untuk encik husband. rasa macam masuk master chef ha ha ha. dan selalu nye i mesti pass with flying colours...prftttt. dah memang kau je yang masak, haruslah dia makan. hikhik... pastu bila dah petang dalam kul 1 camtu, semua dah bersih dah siap. rasa tenang je. so boleh la golek2 gurau2 kat umah.

no, bukan lah setiap weekend kitorang kat rumah je. sometimes keluar jugak. tapi macam perasaan 'nak keluar' tu jarang ade. and we seldom come up with a question, "keluar jom?". jarang. but i guess im lucky sebab encik husband pun jenis homey. kalau die jenis kaki lepak, mau makan hati berulam jantung...he he he.

so, kawan i ni dulu, ade boyfriend, Germanian. jatuh cinta sungguh la ni. but tetibe mamat German ni tinggalkan dia, and she thought he left her for another girl. turned out, he left her for another guy!! he? left her? for a guy? com'on...hahahahaha.....see, bukan i nak cakap ade boyfriend tu tak bagus, tapi kalau dah jadi camni, tak ke susah? kalau dah bawak kahwin? ha camner?

ni bukan kawan i sorang tau, masuk kes mamat germany ni dah 3 kes. adoi laa...ti hii...

ok, macam biasa nak share tips. tips macam mana nak lelaki suka kat kita. (ha'ah kak jemah...macam la lelaki tu suka sangat kat kau....) ha ha ha....no no, saje nak share. tapi kalau tak suka dah nak buat camne kan.

1. ade orang cakap, lelaki suka perempuan yang nampak sikap keibuan. i rasa bukanlah macam lelaki nampak kite terus,  "that's a mother to my daughter!". dah macam rapist kot. hahaha....i rasa lelaki suka perempuan yang nampak lembut, soft and kind hearted. kite pun tak suka kalau mak kite garang2 kan. so cuba jadi lembut, dari segi percakapan dan perbuatan.

2. lelaki suka orang bagi perhatian kat dia. ha, sama macam perempuan yang suka perhatian (mode:indenial), lelaki pun same jugak. cuba bagi perhatian yang tidak berbelah bagi. macam kita tak suka di madukan, atau dijadikan diantara beberapa pilihan perempuan lain, lelaki pun camtu. let's say kalau you all ade beberapa pilihan pun, tak payah lah nak mention kat semua orang. takut nanti ade orang yang suka menyampai2. dengki katenye.

3. lelaki suka perempuan yang bersih dan terurus. macam baju mestilah bergosok or takde wrinkles2 kalau keluar dating, kuku semua terjaga, bau wangi. sedangkan kite pun geli tengok orang tak terurus, nikan pula lelaki yang memang suka benda cantik jer.

4. lelaki suka perempuan bijak. bijak tu bukan lah bermaksud kena hafal semua equation physics, tau jenis2 cell and tissue dalam badan, ataupun tau the end product of process esterification camtu. means, bila kita bercakap tu, dia tau kite tak bodoh. tapi jangan pula tunjuk pandai. bersederhana saja. hik!

banyak lagi sebenarnye.

tapi yang paling penting BE YOURSELF.

apelah guna nyer berpura2 dan menjadi bukan diri kita untuk bahagiakan orang lain. berapa lama boleh tahan pun? so, be yourself, insyaAllah, ade je yang tengah tengok2 awak dari jauh. tiba masa, datanglah dia kat awak tu.

heee....

ps: seronok plak cinta2 nie....hik...

Lelaki macam mane yang sesuai buat suami

my friend asked me, "how long does he took to propose me?". and while i'm doing my work on the laptop, with both my hands and eyes on it, oh not to forget my brain too, i simply answered, "8 years...". jaw dropping and eyes blotting. i mean my friend. hahahaha....bila diorang laughing at me, then only i realized what do they mean by propose.

yela kan. for us muslim, propose is a term used to get married, asking in hand to be a wife officially. but actually, what do they mean by propose was bila encik husband a.k.a boyfriend masa tu tanya i untuk jadi his girlfriend. hrmm... not to forget. i was his girlfriend for a loyal-8-years-without-once-i-tengok-orang lain. hahaha.... how setia i was? pretty setia huh?

that's pretty insane. but trust me, there were a lot of dramas, and crying, and pujuk memujuk whatsoever, not to forget money, time and effort, just to keep both of us together. although i think i yang banyak berkorban (prftttt berkorban as in the one who did the talking, memorizing things, keep things happening all year around hehe..), i must say that he is pretty reliable. yela kan, kalau dia tak reliable dah macam mane dia nak jadi husband i? ha ha ha...

so actually we were friends before we decided to be together. after 6 months. and being me, i was the one who were proactive and not playing tagging when i was with him. you know tagging? malu2 kucing la etc etc. com'on girls, no such thing as in malu2 kucing. i'm preety opened with him. share experiences and all that as im the one who did the talking and he's listened.

bukanlah malu kucing sampai nak bercakap pun tak boleh. ade batas nye. tapi what's the point of jadi malu kucing tapi dalam hati ade perasaan nak bercinta dengan dia. ha dosa tau! kalau camtu suh ibu ayah cari orang kahwinkan saje. senang kan?

tapi dulu i had this idea, in which kalau i tak jadi kahwin dengan this super annoying encik husband (ha ha ha), i suh je mama and ayah carikan orang and kahwin kan. tapi syarat lepas kahwin i nak duduk London.

nampak tak dia punye sedih hati nak lari jauh dari malaysia. bawak hati la konon. hi hi hi...

bila ingat balik, termalu2 i. gaduh2 tapi anak satu dah pun. muahahahaha......

pastu nanti encik husband cakap, "sophea.....mommy tu dari dulu lagi rasa daddy tak sayang dia...sampai sophea dah ade pun dia rasa daddy tak sayang dia..."

nanti i kat belakang seat tu buat la muka kat encik husband. tapi blushing sikit la...ha ha ha.... naseb sophea tak faham lagi...kalau dia faham pun mesti dia buat muka kat daddy dia. hahaha...


kalau orang tanye i la, macam mana nak tau whether lelaki tu akan jadi suami yang baik atau tak? there is no answer for that, but all i can say is,

1. macam mane kita nak orang treat kite, means nak orang treat kite baik2 je, camtu lah kite kene treat orang lain. macam i, i really did my best to please him, so in returned i dapat ape yang i nak.
2. jangan expect menggunung dari lelaki. macam nak makan kat hotel 5 stars setiap kali dating. dapat iphone 5s setiap kali birthday etc etc. when we expect less, then tetibe dapat more than we expect, that's the beauty of it.
3. sentiasa doa kat Allah agar dipertemukan jodoh yang baik. cukup baik untuk sayang kita dan keluarga kecil kita ni dan bertanggungjawab.
4. kalau rasa pasangan kita ni cukup menyakitkan hati, tengok2 la sikit selama berkawan/berkahwin ni takkan sikit pun takde kebaikan dia. contohnye macam pagi dia keluar belikan nasi lemak untuk breakfast tu tak cukup baik lagi ke?

ingat. kita ni bukan sempurna sangat. so jangan ingat orang lain sempurna macam yang kita nak. tapi trust me, a good relationship is fill with honesty, love, and trust.

Counting Time

encik husband will not be around for this one whole week. outstation. this time around Manilla. he asked me i nak ikot ke tak, you know, he loves bringing me all over the places it's either i want it or not. last time masa pergi Japan. sebab this time pergi Manilla, i macam malas. kalau lepas ni pergi Europe definitely i'll go! anyway adoiilaa...siapa la mangsa yang nak diajak bersembang dan bergaduh. hihi...

i always ask him, whether he actually loves me or not. hahaha...silly kan?? i knowwwwwwww....but i love teasing him that way. i know he might get boring with those silly questions (nampak plural 's' so ade banyak lagi soalan bagi kat die), but as long as i'm enjoying doing it, and i'll make sure i don't go overboard doing it, then it will be okay.heeeee......selalu i suke tanya dalam kereta. i'll be staying at the back with sophea, sebab sophea seating in the carseat, so encik husband akan jeling through the rear mirror and rolling his eyes macam menyampah sangat dengan soalan i tu. ha ha ha.....

kadang-kadang dia akan panggil i, "pstttt.....sayang....sini la kat kite....ciom sikit....". duhhh ngader gilerr. dulu masa sebelum sophea ade, we were like love birds berkepit ciom dalam kete sana sini macam takde tempat lain nak buat ha ha ha, but since sophea dah ade, memang lupekan jela hasrat nak buat camtu lagi. lagipun feeling kiss2 dari belakang ni ape la sangat. tapi sophea kan a good baby, die jarang meragam kalau duduk kat carseat tu. so selalunya kalau sophea dah okay je dalam tu, masa i bercinta la plak dalam kereta.

borak2 sambil peluk ke, or main laga2 pipi ke, but once in awhile toleh2 jugak kat sophea. kadang2 dia buat muka garang, macam bosan dengan perangai mommy and daddy dia. whateverrrr....hahahaha....tapi penat la nak pelok encik husband dari belakang. besar sangat ukuran lilitan tu kan. but any peluang yang ada, yang i nampak just to show him how much i love him, i akan buat.

i bet he knows how much i love him. ermmm....i pun tau sebenarnye yang encik husband sayang i. i boleh tau la. dah kalau everyday pun dia akan balik and drove all the way to KL sedangkan i dah bagi permission untuk dia tak balik, call sms and even email me during work just to answer my repetition questions, siapkan barang2 especially sterilizer and heater susu sophea, sediakan air panas etc etc, ape lagi yang tak cukup untuk tunjukkan yang dia sayang i?sayang kitorang?

how much is too much?

susahkan nak measure benda yang berkaitan rasa ni. hati semua. sebab dia rasa dan tak boleh ukur.

tapi i just nak die tau yang i syg sgt kat die. and that both of us, me and sophea love him so much. and just harap daddy akan sayangkan kitorang jugak all the time. sobs!

amboi, encik husband pergi tak sampai sehari lagi dah meleret2 camni......hahaha!