A Worried Mommy...ceh!

assalammualaikum.

ha. okay.

you know how worried i am during this very first pregnancy of mine?? i always thought that i am not normal, unlike the 'normal' mom. you know, orang cakap during pregnancy akan ada these normal symptoms:

1. morning sickness cuma level die different from a person to another person
2. dia akan mudah rasa penat
3. ada makanan yang dia tak suka
4. bau husband kurang mendapat sambutan...hahaha!
5. ada makanan yang dia craving...benda pelik-pelik
6. dan lain- lain

but trust me, i don't have any of these symptoms. bukan berlagak, like seriously but more to worried. sama ada i pregnant ke tak sebenarnya ni. masa mula-mula tau pregnant pun macam tak percaya, i was shivering instead of jumping in joy bila baca result kat pregnancy test kit tu. our baby is more like an 'accident' baby although we don't take any precaution or protection (hahaha...!) sebab encik husband kan nak pergi kursus, i don't think the baby will stick around sampai daddy dia ada. but Allah is Great, Dia bagi i peneman bila husband i pergi kerja.

Allah is Almighty, isn't He? and i bersyukur sangat. i can't explain this but i think semua mother yang menunggu untuk pregnant akan ada this satu special feelings, and it is just beautiful.

so anyway, back to my worries, sampai sekarang (alhamdulilah) i don't have any morning sickness atau rasa penat yang melampau. i am what i used to be, cuma a bit plump because i don't jog anymore...hahaha!when i read the books, seeks opinion, asking a lot of questions to the experts, they all said it is all NORMAL kalau kita takde symptom pregnancy. but my worries doesn't stop there. sebab my cousin cakap kalau u morning sickness tu means baby is growing well...*pucat*

habis je first trimester, i'm quite lega. sebab masa tu is the critical time for the baby, sama ada dia survive or not. masa tu jugak roh dia ditiupkan ke dalam jasad. but still the worry-ness tu ada. no morning sickness, no penat-penat, no blood spotting, cuma i selalu pergi toilet, but i think sebab i suka minum banyak-banyak. takut baby haus masa mommy tengah tidur, boleh?haha!

masa i 6weeks, i went for an ultrasound kat Klinik Idzham Taman Melawati. RM51. cheap kan?? and please expect a cheap consultation, a cheap respond from the doctor, a non-motherly talk from the doctor, and non- educational consultation from the doctor. i sent them a complaint letter, and up until now (16weeks of pregnancy), i didn't get any response from them. oh, reason i pergi check? definitely to make sure whether i am pregnant or not, baby i normal ke, kat luar rahim ke, is my sac ada ke etc etc eh hello, you are the doctor, so you should tell me, right? but NO. the doctor tak jumpa anything, not even my sac, not even a tiny dot of my baby, just a blurry view and the doctor not confident enough to tell me how's the condition of my womb.

worst feeling ever. i memang worried sangat tapi i didn't talk this over my husband. takut dia risaukan i yang overly risau ni.

by the way, symptoms yang i ada:

1. kuat gila makan pedas. cili padi peneman setia.
2. since suka makan pedas, asyik la nak sambal, masak lemak cili api and apa-apa yang pedas
3. overly excited bila jumpa husband. terlebih naughty.
4. selalu running to the toilet
5. takde pantang makan

ha, macam orang normal kan?

pergi KK pun diorang takde propose ultrasound until this 7 January, dah week ke 20 i rasa. so really i tak tau condition baby macam mana. selain dari heartbeat yang i dengar masa 15week, dengan itu jela i yakin and percaya baby i sihat and happily swimming dalam swimming pool dia.

a worried mommy is not a happy mommy. so i senyap-senyap tanpa pengetahuan husband and keluarga, i went for a 2D ultrasound check-up dekat Klinik Mediviron dekat area Sri Rampai. sangat murah RM40. the doctor is very young, a male, chinese doctor. ermm...i really don't mind whether the doctor is a male or female. so anyway doctor tu sangat muda, i think sebaya i je kot. hahaha....

so here's my baby!!

he's a very healthy baby, and actively swimming in his swimming pool. masa doctor letak je scanner tu atas perot i, kepala terus nampak. hahaha...a big head! just like his daddy..hahaha...then doctor tu pusing-pusing tunjuk tangan dia yang geratil tergapai-gapai omg so damn cute!!! and doctor tunjuk kaki dia demok-demok. hehehe....

doctor ukur size of his head, and he is a 16week baby. mommy is so proud of you sayang!

gambar kat atas tu is a combination of two snapshots. belah kiri kepala, belah kanan kaki dia, rasa yang putih tebal tu belah kanan tu tulang fibula dia, or kita panggil tulang keting dia. hikhik....so Alhamdulilah sangat. the greatest feeling ever!

balik tu call encik husband, nangis. dari dalam kereta dah nangis, i said to my baby,

"ohh...anak mommy sihat eh sayang??i'm sorry i didn't know you are doing good inside...i don't feel your kick or any movement...i'm sorry yea sayang..."

pastu nanes sensorang dalam kereta. hahaha...cam orang tak betul!

hantar gambar kat atas kat encik husband,

Him: "sayang!!!!!!hikhik!!but tak faham...can you explain to me?  ;) "

-_________________-

apela daddy ni...terus call and borak-borak semua.

so,
Thank you Allah, sesungguhnya Kau Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk hambaMu. sesungguhnya banyak yang dah Kau kurniakan keapda kami, tapi kami masih lagi tidak berterima kasih kepada Engkau. Ampuni segala dosa-dosa Kami, dan kurniakanlah kebahagian kepada Kami. Amin.


ps: hope by 7th January, boleh tau gender baby. it's a boy, or a girl????? keep guessing!