Realizing the sacrification

what a word la...

anyway, how far can a man sacrifice for you, especially when you are the one he loves??

*senyum*

i know this one guy.hrmm... literally, i never met him personally. but i know i love him as one of my very good friend. you wouldn't be able to imagine how great he is when it comes to love. even i pon takkan terdetik yang ada lelaki macam tu kat dunia nie. i thought it was all in the movies.

no, i tau ada orang macam tu kat dunia, tapi tak sangka 'orang itu' adalah sangat2 dekat dengan i, i presumed.

i shall not talk more about this. but i hope he knows that i always pray for his happiness.

*senyum*

sejak dari detik itu, i tau love and feelings adalah dua benda yang sangat-sangat penting when we are in a relationship, especially yang serious one. miracle. let's just hope it will happen, kan?

i'm done with everything. it's time untuk mulakan hidup baru!! life is too short to be sober.

*gelak*

ps: hey little fishes, can't wait to meet u!!

Tinggalkan Aku

macam biasa. video lagu from one my favourite singer, Anuar Zain. gosh, suara dia hebat gila kot. and lagu dia sedap plus the lyrics boleh tahan menusuk jiwa. tak pernah lagi join dia punya show or konsert, not even "dari studio 1". hahaha!!

pernah cuba nyanyi lagu dia kat karoke. memang KE LAUT!dah berjuta kali buat percubaan tak malu nyanyi lagu dia (masih tak malu), still ke laut jugak. well, bukan lagu anuar zain je, lagu lain pon kelaut juga.

*gelak*

lagu ni penuh makna.kan?

I'm Glad Everything is Alright

oh geez, nothing to be worried about. i am just glad to know that everything is alright. everything is under control. and i am so thankful to Allah above.

*senyum*

for all the people i loved, there's only one person yang betul-betul tau perangai sebenar i. even my best friend wouldn't know 'what' is me actually. the way i act, the way i talk, is totally different and beyond of anything that you can think about. kiranya macam, literally, i am not myself when i'm with my friends or any other person. not even my family.

Pisces. Perfect melancholy is what i am.

so, if you think you CANNOT cope with me, you do not understand my behaviour, you do not get what i mean, you do not understand my feelings and situation, you CANNOT accept such nonsense stupid immature response from me, so please. don't make it harder for both of us okay?

there's one thing we called LOVE. and for as long as i live, memang takde undang-undang dalam cinta. all i know is, we should accept him/her the way he/she is on the day you say "i love you..".

ps: randy pangalila. apsal hot sangat!?

Dengan Nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani..

Ya Allah,

jika aku bukan pemilik tulang rusuknya,

janganlah biarkan aku rindu akan kehadirannya.

Janganlah biarkan aku melabuhkan hatiku di hatinya.

Kikislah pesonanya dari pelupuk mataku,

dan usirlah dia dari relung hatiku.

amin.

i've got mine..yeay!

thanks to daddy sebab belikan this ultimate cutest gorgeous MP3 for me. hoyeah!! although mine is not as cool as adik's ipod classic and sure it does not cost ayah almost rm1k, but i am happy and glad to have this.

*lompat2*

since ayah asked me, "why you need this mp3 since you already owned a mp4?". my reasons are:

1. my mp4 memang sangat cantik diluar siap silicon case bagai, but it is broken in the inside. dah tak boleh nak transfer lagu dah. T_T.
2. i need it as a reason to go to the gym. ececece...ntah bila la tu. or nanti masa jogging2 boleh dengar lagu.
3. i have to go alone to borneo so i cannot use my hp as a mp3 player sebab nanti run out of battery so nanti susah nak call etc etc.
4. adik got one, so why can't i?

i know my mp3 player is not as cool as yours, but hey, it's a mp3 player, to listen to the music. psstt...although im not a big fan of listening to the songs, but sometimes a girl just need her songs jugak kan?

*senyum*

so, which one is mine? mestila pink!

and haritu i ada beli pink card reader,i wonder how am i going to bawak all the stuffs including my 2 USBs, hp, the mp3 player, and other things?not a crime pon kan to have at least a pouch untuk sumbat semua nie?

cantik kan? polka2 lagi. i know la it's a ipod portable speaker, tapi kita kasi keluar la itu speaker and use only the pouch, boleh kan? or maybe actually diorang jual the case je and not the speaker?i dont know. nanti kita find out la. kalau mahal sangat kita beli yang ni jela.

sweetnyer... i love it so much!!ni kalau kat uptown pun ada nie. selalupun rm5. ngurat2 sikit beli 3 dapat rm10. cukup la satu isi coins, satu isi gadjets, satu lagi bagi mama. har har har. mama suka la kot barang2 cmnie.teehee...

so, jom kita packing!

A trip to an island far from my home sweet home

i think i need a vacation. so apparently, im going to borneo this upcoming sunday, and stays at one of the top hotel in the world, for more than 5 days. finally, i have one..teehee..

gambar sekadar hiasan. source:googles image


i will be the first one to arrive ( i guess) because my flight is separately from them. thinking of, i will be alone ( but not lonely ) on the flight, ingat nak beli mp3. nak pinjam ipod adik, memang tak dapat la sebab dia wayy to far from the house. i have one in mind.

cantik kan?i want the pink one!!kalau takde stock, merah pun takpe.haritu went to OU harga dia rm299 for 4GB, but i saw it online at rm150. ingat nak sambar je, but thinking of banyak gila imitation sekarang, i've decided to buy it kat kedai je, senang kalau rosak ke ape boleh return je. tapi belum beli lagi nih. masih berfikir-fikir lagi.

lepas tu, kena bawak buku. since i have to wait for my partner, which will be arriving 2hours later, kena la tunggu dia kat mana-mana cafe or food court yang ada kat situ while reading or listening to the mp3. cewaahh...

talking about vacation, bag!!still i don't even start the packing process. dissaster!!


i love deuter bags. masa pergi bandung hari tu, tak jumpa pun deuter outlet ke ape. then i went to rantau panjang, saw a few imitation deuter bags, tapi harga tak setimpal dengan kualiti. if i have to pay rm200 untuk imitation bag, baik i pergi beli original quicksilverbag ke ape. harga sama. but this bag sangat cantik. kalau duit banyak ingat nak beli 60L + 10L punyer sekali ke, tapi gedabak tapi kalau pergi panjat gunung (nanti) menarik jugak tu.

so, ape activity kita kat sana? shopping is clearly not one of them, sebab tempat tu macam takde tempat shopping je. the last time i went there, tak ingat pon i masuk the shopping complex. but anyway, definitely going to check them lepas sampai sana.

heard that snorkeling will cost only rm12. that's cheap. tapi tak taula kot cost naik bot dia charge separately. tapi nanti hitam. oh no! dahla bulan 12 ni my big day. ni kena pakai full cover la swimming suit ni nampak gayanya.

*gelak*

sweet gila picture nie. esok kalau i pergi honeymoon pun i want to do the same thing. kata honeymoon kat bali. eh, bagi siapa-siapa yang nak kahwin and masih berfikir nak honeymoon kat mana, bali is a great place to be. masa i pergi bali dulu, bila jalan-jalan kat situ felt like, "kan best kalau ada dia kat sini..". bali paling romantic. tapi nak romantic lagi pergi paris sana.

*gelak*

anyway, jom kita kemas barang!!

Your Mr/Ms Right is not 'Right" afterall.

i was browsing through 'home' on fb, and i saw an updated status from my friend.it caught my eyes. i can't remember the exact words and i am too damn lazy untuk pergi tengok kat profile dia, but it sounds like this:

" kalau kita asyik mencari kesalahan pasangan kita, kita takkan bahagia. tapi kalau kita terima ketidaksempurnaan dia, kita terima dia seadanya, dan kita yakin dia memang satu-satunya untuk kita, hidup ini akan lebih bahagia..dia semestinya yang terbaik untuk kita sebab dia pilihan kita.."

lebih kurang macam tu la. actually it sounded more romantic when i first read it..teehee..=) somehow bila kita mengolah balik terus tak romantik. ehehe...

it is quite true. mustahil la untuk pasangan bercinta tidak membandingkan pasangan dia dengan pasangan orang lain. i was doing the same thing too. (baca: was) but it took me so LONG to finally realized it, yang benda tu semua tak bawa the relationship ke mana pon. benda tu tak merubah relationship into a better one, malah lebih menyukarkan keadaan untuk both of us.

salah faham, bergaduh, hilang sekejap perasaan hormat kat dia yang selama ni i kept for him, dek kerana bergaduh. im sure he felt the same way too for me. still, i had so much respect for him. sebab dia sangat tahan dengan my unpredictable behaviour. seriously, you wouldn't want to know. and that's the ultimate reason why i love him to death.yes i do.

some of my friends got very lucky for having someone yang faham diorang segala serbi. unlike mine (during that time). looking at them, macam setiap saatnya bahagia, macam setiap saatnya bercinta. bf dia romantik compared to mine. unlike mine (during that time). i always felt macam dia tak pernah faham, tak pernah cuba nak faham. and i started to question "why he do that kind of thing?", "kenapa dia tak faham?", "susah sangat ke nak faham?"..and the question yang selalu popped up in my mind, " betul ke he loves me?".

it took me so long (lama sangat even until now) to realized that every human being have their own strengths and weaknesses. tapi kita manusia mana boleh macam tue. tak pernah puas. kita nak semua perfect. semua macam apa yang kita nak. semua macam apa yang kita tunjuk. which are impossible!!

macam mana boleh tersedar yang he is waaayyy better than anyone i have ever known?macam mana?

first. i went out with my friend and her bf. masa tu kat kedai makan. i think before diorang datang jumpa i, they got in a fight or something. so my friend ni senyum2 paksa la which i don't mind at all kalau korang tengah gaduh sekalipun. tapi janganlah sampai tengking2 malu kot.so anyway, masa food yang dah di order tu sampai, my friend tak makan. merajuk la kot. and the bf dengan suara yang agak tinggi tonenya and told my friend suruh makan. my friend agak termalu la.sebab bf dia macam tengking2 sikit.

and at that moment, i realized that my tak-faham-bf tak pernah buat macam tu. dia tak pernah tinggikan suara, and kalau kitorang keluar and tengah bergaduh pon, he wouldn't do such thing to me. even depan my family pon, kalau kitorang gaduh, dia buat macam biasa je, macam takde pape. cuma bila dah berdua, dia lebih banyak berdiam diri.

and somehow, depan my friends tu, i was smiling. sebab teringat masa tu, yang i know, i have someone in my life who is way better than any other guy i've known.

*senyum*

it's good. sebab dia jaga air muka kita. dia takkan malukan kita. kalau bf sendiri malukan kita depan orang lain, so what's left for us? kan?

and by be friended, meeting, and knowing other guys or male friends, you know that your own bf is actually the best one you could ever had. dah banyak kali, i kenal dengan a few guys, yang lebih banyak bragging, and cakap besar (eh sama kan?) dengan kejayaan diorang which i tak pernah tahu pon ada and tak pernah nampak buktinya pon. i know you might say that, "lelaki kan nak pikat perempuan mesti nak cerita yang best-best je dari diorang..". i know. i've read it somewhere.

but, from the first time i kawan dengan my bf, tak pernah sekalipon dia bragging about his accomplishment whatsoever. not even masa dia nak kenal2 i. he was just being himself. which to tell you, he is such an extraordinary person. he's different and i tak pernah kenal someone yang boleh beat him. he's good actually.

so bila these guys bragging2 ni, i macam menyampah jugaklah. macam "apehal nak kena bagitau?". kita boleh tahu samada dia nak SHARE kejayaan dia dengan kita, or nak MENUNJUK kejayaan dia kat kita.

masa tu, i realized that kadang-kadang bila dia mencabar kesabaran kita, at certain times dia adalah saviour kita. bila orang lain acted differently dari orang yang kita kenal bertahun-tahun, it feels awkward, and menyampah jugak.

he's not perfect. in fact, he's not perfect at all. but through my eyes, he's the perfect man that i want to be with. with him i shall devoted my love and my life. he's the best man i could ever have, and sure i love him.

girls, sometimes bila kita tengok orang, semuanya macam indah, semuanya macam sempurna. but little did we know, diorang pun pandang kita macam semuanya indah, semuanya macam sempurna. have you tought about that?

*senyum*

i want to thanked my friend, sebab update status macam tu. atleast i remember the good things about him. we are not perfect. i am no perfect girl for him. but at least i have my heart to give him. i'll always love him. that's my promise.

tapi ingat, jodoh pertemuan semua di tangan Allah. kita cuma boleh berdoa dan mengharapkan yang terbaik. right?amin. semoga semuanya bagus-bagus untuk kita dua.

ps: i am a stubborn one. but he melts me...*love*