Ready for second baby?

nope. i'm not pregnant. hahaha.... it is just the question of "when are we going to have our second baby?" comes lingering in my mind (lately!). is was not like i-want-the-baby-now kind of thing,like really. it was just like, a thought, a question and that's all. because definitely we want more than one child of our own. right? of course, my husband did once or twice asking 'us' the same question but not in a kind of serious tone. but by listening to that coming out from his mouth, giving me butterflies in the stomach. hahaha...

a happy one yea, bukan yang cuak. haha.. means i've done a good job of being a mother that makes him goes, "my lady, she's an awesome mom! so i want another one with her.." hahahaha...

anyway, we didn't take any medicine to suppress the objective of getting pregnant, we just do it our own way. preventing the ovulation days etc etc. for us, being pregnant is an ultimate gift from Allah, so why bother stopping Him? because you can't my dear. kun fa ya kun. semua atas izin Allah. so for us, kalau Allah nak bagi, either we are ready or not, we have to do it. our responsibilities. Amanah Allah. jadi kena la jaga kan?

it's the fact that we have to wake up early, sleeping deprives, costing on milk and diapers etc etc make us wonder whether are we financially and emotionally stable for our second baby. for my side, it is more to emotional stability. penat kot.

but the thought of getting the best smell in the whole world, bau baby... bau masam susu dia, hearing the baby's cry, those tiny little fingers, the innocent look on their faces, the act of trying to 'burp' them...ahhh...those priceless experiences that actually make us mom coming back for more children. sobs.... i just reminisced the early days of me and baby sophea. how tiny she was. hihi...

so if you asked me, have i or havent i be ready for our second baby? ermm..it's a NO. hihi..i have plenty of things need to be learn as a mother of one. studying the pattern and trying to deliver the best that i can to be a good mom. while on the husband's side, he did a tremendous job of being a handsome father. he had give so much love to baby sophea since day one. i couldn't ask for more.

The ease

still on holiday. but too much of holidays could be the reason of stress. hahaha...ade ke? ade ke yang stress bila holiday and dapat gaji at the same time? maybe for someone who is workaholic, it could stress him/her out. actually i suka la sangat cuti, but this cuti lebih kepada 'standby'. anytime the management can call me and said, " please report your duty to the management tommorow'. ha nampak? habis tu camne nak pergi cuti kan? tu yang stress nye. kalau dia cakap " you are on leave until december 2014 " haruslah iolss dah pergi cuti. hahaha....

but anyway, class master dah start. as much as i enjoying myself attending the classes, the thought of having tests and exams are killing me, literally my mood. haihh... can we just make it like attending courses and tadaa..." you are a MSc holder..". err...i know life cannot be that simple. whateves...

since my MIL is away for Hajj, and luckily im still on leave, so baby sophea i la jaga. and since my classes are held in city campus, takkan i nak drive all the way from my home back and forth kan. penat lagi (i enjoy driving once i awhile) masa minyak etc etc. but i still hold on to pepatah orang2 tua, "bersusah-susah dulu, bersenang2 kemudian..".

husband has been so nice to me. dah lama tak cerita pasal dia kan? sejak dia naik pangkat, he has been busy with all his works, and i don't mind at all al long as dia balik. lepas naik pangkat lagi banyak dia outstation. lucky me hari tu dapat follow dia pergi jepun, la ni tengok la pergi zimbabwe ke mana i nak ikot jugak...teehee...

ahh talking about me pursuing my master and not be able to help around the house much, husband sangat la helpful. he washed the clothes, hang them and even folding the bajus. and he dont even complain! cuma dia cakap dia rindu nak i masak untuk dia. i guess i nak masak la weekend ni untuk dia. i miss waking up very early in the morning during weekend while husband and baby sophea are still sleeping, and i kemas the whole house, and even done my cooking.

sometimes when i jenguk into our room, my two babies are playing happily entah apa dia borak dengan daddy dia. gelak2 la ape. sometimes one of them je dah bangun (guess who??mestila si kecik dah panjat2 daddy dia). and sometimes both of them tak bangun lagi. waking them up with hugs and kisses. and then breakfast together. rindu sangat...

sekarang weekend pun ade class. sobs...

how lucky i am to have such an understanding and considerate and loveable husband. i couldn't agree more and couldn't even think what had i done in the past to be blessed with such a wonderful husband. he makes me love him even more and makes me want him in every second of my life.

i just hope Allah will ease everything. and make us grow closer and fonder to each other. oklah nak google recipe!!

Quick Update

assalammualaikum.....teehee...lama gila tak write up kat sini. oh well, being mommy is no-more playing around man. but definitely a fun one. anyway, can we have a little bit of snip shot of my life (mestilah 'my life' kate blog sendiri kan?hihi). i will put in in numbering sebab...it looks fun to me...hahaha..

1. remember when i gave birth to baby sophea a year ago? yes...dah setahun rupanya. anyway, during puasa i had my confinement and then i went to japan and due to the time difference adalah hari yang tak puasa. same goes to this year!! this year during puasa i went to london, so tak puasa la jugak for a few days. thus, raya tak berapa nak fun sebab mama cakap orang yang tak puasa tak boleh raya. no?

2. baby sophea is still a baby (at least to me!). this coming september, she will be 1 year and 4 months old. toddler ke dah eh?nantilah check. so tengok ape yang dia dah pandai? (err...i thought all babies are pandai, kita ni diorang kecik lagi dah nak bezakan2 anak org tu lembap, anak orang tu cerdik. so sick la society nowadays). anyway, sophea dah pandai jalan. sophea dah ade gigi. rambut dh panjang. mommy memang sengaja biar panjang menutupi matanya, nak bagi panjang and nak ikat rambut dia macam budak bawah nie.

3. i don't know if i did lose some weight, but the kgs dont go up either. so i guess it is good for me. cuma bila kita lama sangat tak exercise lemah sangat sendi. occasionally adelah i buat a few workout routine, but selalunya workout routine i angkat sophea, kemas rumah, iron baju etc etc. ha!i guess sebab tu la weight tak naik eh?ohh okay...so lepas ni jangan bising la penat kemas rumah bagai, it s a sort of exercise. hahaha.... tapi perot tak leh cover la.menangis tengok.

4. i just love my job. 2 months holiday with salary, awesome kan?? rezeki wehh...sebab tu i tak paham bila orang suka complaint macam2 dalam hidup diorang. gaji sikit tak puas hati, gaji banyak tak puas hati. boss bagi kerja, boring pergi kerja. banyakkk la bunyik sedangkan setiap 10minit kerja kau update status kat facebook? puii... sebab tu i selalu cakap dengan husband i, " sayang...apa yang kita dapat hari ni semua ketentuan Allah. gaji banyak mana, dapat boss macam mana, dapat rumah besar mana...semua tu rezeki Allah. so bila kita start complaint and start comparing, maksudnya kita macam menyalahkan Allah kan? kita macam cakap indirectly yang Allah tu tak adilkan? " . memanglah, kita nak have a better life, tapi bila iols tengok cara kau cakap pungpang2 dalam facebook mendidih jugak. pakai tudang, pergi masjid, iols yakin sembahyang tak tinggal, so kenapa la hidup penuh dengan ketidakpuashatian je kak?

5. alhamdulilah dapat rezeki sambung master. tapi tetiba tak yakin boleh complete kan. yelah, mane nak kerja, jaga anak, jaga laki, jaga rumah, jaga penampilan (ehem!), mana nak study lagi. hahaha...tapi tak boleh nak sorok la, i sebenarnya kind of excited nak masuk kelas study and pay attention (sangat!). mampu ke tak?? nanti ada yang watsapp husband... "daddy, gambar sophea pleasee..". hahaha...that's what we have been doing kalau any of us outstation. hahaaha..

6. next step adalah tunggu husband buat decision, nak beli rumah ke nak beli kereta. ke nak beli iphone? jadahhhh....hahaha...i setuju sangat2 kalau dia beli rumah. i just nak rumah 1 floor pun tak pe, tapi bilik at least 3. hall luas, dengan dapur luas. eh ade ke? haha...tapi i cakap siang2 k, rumah tu, i nak decorate. refurnishing kate omputih. hahaha...

oklah....dah ngantok ni. haha...iolss tengah berlatih nak stay up pagi untuk assignment and tests. hahahahaha...... #semangat

ramadhan #1

eeee dah masuk ramadhan kot.

tahun ni adalah tahun ketiga raya as husband and wife, and tahun kedua raya dengan sophea. last year puasa masih dalam confinement so tak puasa full. and masa tu jugak kat tokyo, jepun. awww i missed jepun so much.

boring betul sebab puasa tahun ni jatuh masa my menstrual cycle. bapak bosan. tak leh nak excited sangat la first day puasa semalam. prftttt.

so since i pun dah start cuti, bermula kisah fulltime housewife ni. aww nasiblah i ni excited hal-hal rumah tangga, mana nak cari isteri cmni di zaman millenium ni...hahahaha....so ikan semua dah keluar. harini rasanya nak masak ikan bawal sweet sour, ikan masin and sambal belacan, air cincau.

kuih muih takde , itu kena tanya encik husband kalau dia nak beli.oklah got to go. sophea dah bangun!

Kesetiaan. Sampai bila?

am i the right person to talk about kesetiaan? sebab being in a relaionship for almost a decade, ok tipu. hahaha..i've been with my soulmate ni dah almost 10 years, and we have been married for 2 years now. so am i the right person to talk about kesetiaan?? i guess i am. ah kalau korang tak setuju pun i don't care. kang i tak tau nak cerita apa. so let's proceed!hahaha

1. bila kena setia??
ha meh i nak cakap. setia itu bermula bukan the moment kite cakap kita couple, or masa merisik, bertunang, or masa menikah. kesetiaan itu bermula dari mula-mula kita kenal dia. sebab kalau dari mula kita dah ada rasa sangsi, dah ada pilihan lain, macam mana nak kira kesetiaan tu kan. "i suka ahmad, tapi belum tentu ahmad suka kita, so takpe kita ada ali." ha nampak? kita tak boleh buat macam tu, tu tak jujur namenye yer. go for it kalau kita rasa he's the one.doa banyak2 moga Allah bukakan hati dia dan kita.

2. dengan siapa kita nak setia?
dengan orang yang kita rasa nak buat dia jadi suami kita. dan orang itu haruslah menunjukkan komitmen yan sama untuk berumah tangga dengan kita. kalau cara dia tak meyakinkan, doa banyak2 dan tanya la kalau dia ni nak main2 je ke or what. don't be afraid with rejection. kalau nak cerita pasal rejection, i had been in my worst condition due to he rejection. whoahh patah hati tiada galang ganti. sampai sekarang masih berbekas dan kita masih cuba untuk turap bekas-bekas itu. tapi kalau kita not overthink about rejection and paling penting jangan letak too much of expectation, insyallah things will be great. lebih baik tahu sekarang, dan bukan lagi 2 jam nak akad nikah. right?

3. sampai bila nak setia?
oh, sampai masa yang allah izinkan. ingat, perasaan sayang, bf, suami ni semua pinjaman allah. sampai satu masa kita kena pulangkan, whether we like it or not. masa jadi bf, mungkin banyak alasan bf bagi kalau ajak kahwin, tak cukup duit lah, nantilah, etc etc. give him time. lelaki ni memang betul needs time untk adapt. diorang tak hebat macam kita perempuan. sebab tu kita boleh lahirkan anak. sebab kita kuat. tai kalau dia bagi banyak alasan, tapi bab pegang2 lebih2 nak, haruslah distopkan dengan kadar segera. what the heck kan? and tanya pada diri sendiri, ikhlas ke tak lelaki tu dengan kita. untuk yang dah berkahwin, tiada lagi istilah diri sendiri. anak, kaum keluarga, semua kena fikir. sekali bole tahan, telan. doa dan mintak petunjuk. but at the same time kita sendiri usaha untk perbaiki kelemahan kita.

kahwin ni bukan untuk seronok-seronok. walapun i is the rasa seronok sangat lepas dah kahwin ni, hahahaha.....tak boleh nak digambarkan. i rasa sebab kita kahwin sebab Allah, cinta sebab Allah, lain rasanya dari zaman bercinta. it was so peaceful but at he same time lovely and kadang-kadang rasa tak percaya je. and it is a bonus for me dapat husband yang sangat baik lillahita'ala. i tak tau la kenapa Alla kurniakan suami sebaik dia. mashaallah.

so anyway, kahwin ni lebih kepada tanggungjawab. i suka sebab i suka please my husband, try to prove to him that i can be what he wants. it's a challenge for myself to be a better wife. siapa cakap dah kahwin takde challenge? everyday is a challenge to be a better me...hehehe

mana nak jadi wife, mommy, a teacher, tutor, companion, a cook, a cleaner etc.

yang paling penting sabar. maybe because i know him long before i married him, so banyak perangai dia i dah tau. so add on untuk perangai dia yang baru menjelma lepas kahwin. hahaha.... so bagi yang baru kenal hari akad nikah tu, the only thing that i can say is sabar. jadi wife ni kena banyak sabar. tak salah pun. and kita bukan mengalah. don't ever think it that way. it's just that we are mature enough to handle things profesionally.

eh banyaknye type...hahahaha...

and...mesti ada CINTA!! and cinta tu mesti hadir setiap masa. like me, whenever i look at my husband, i always had this mix feeling inside, rasa annoyed, suka, excited, rasa nak peluk, kadang-kadang rasa nak slap dia pun ade.hahaha but it stays in my heart. cuma kadang-kadang i go and hug him and tells him how much i love him and that i need him so much in my life.

everyone needs that right??it is just i'm the more expressive type, and he is not. he don't even care. sobs kikikiki ~

Crash!!

fuhhh...lama gila tak update blog. occasionally, i read some common blogs that i love, tapi for my blog to be updated, adalah mustahil. but things change, so do i.hahahaha.

masa adalah lebih banyak dihabiskan dengan scrolling up and down the instagram. man, they are 'the' new addiction!! so bila nak update blog kan? there were a couple of times me and encik husband had a fight over this matter, and we concluded that having a smartphone is just not so smart, and can ruin one's relationship. ha yela, tengah makan duk sebok scrolling, ape jadahnya kan? so kitorang decided not to have our phone at home, during eat out (except for picure's taking...prfttt), and during le sexy time. hahaha....the last one i added.

selalunya i la paling banyak guna phone. but i guess becaue of me, encik husband pun doing the same thing. ended up we were not talking to each other. which is not good kan?? luckily i realized that sooner, so now, i can actually see and feel that we actually enjoyed our le family time together without the phone.

see???kalau kita nak berubah, we have to choose that WE want to berubah. life is a option dude. just dont make excuses.

oh apa khabaq semua??? *heard echos because no one in here..hahaha*

eh nak buat next entri la. cerita pasal kesetiaan!! me likey!!

Alhamdulilah.

Dah dapat first gaji!! Happy kemain.

Lagi happy sebab dah bernazar kalau dapat kerja ni im going to bring my both families pergi makan.

I rasa gaji yang I dapat ni lebih berkat dan of course lebih banyak. Im just happy because they pay me good and tempat kerja sangat dekat dengan rumah. It was like 5 minutes journey.

Alhamdulilah sangat.

Thanks encik husband kerana banyak bersabar dengan kerenah and ngomelan I. And terima kasih sebab selalu doakan yang terbaik untuk I.i guess this is for us kan? To have a better life. Insyaallah.

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Baby's Dilemma

i was thinking that since i (now) get back from work around 2p,, i should have pick up baby sophea kan instead of leaving her with nyai for two days straight. i mean, it is nyai who takes care of her so i tak rasa pape la to be worried . it is just that i feel like i missed my baby even more now. i missed her every second of the day.

kata anak, kan?

at 10months, she's not a baby anymore. sangat suka gelak, especially bila me and her daddy sing it out loud the incy wincy spider song, and the qasidah burdah ya-hanana. she would shake her bum bum back and forward vigourously , and when she's at her back (baring) -_____________-. but we love teasing her like that. nyayi sikit shake lebih. hahaha...

so i just told my husband that i want to pick sophea everyday starting next week. he said okay. im not sure how much we should put aside for the petrol and toll, but i guess we can make it happen. kan sayang?? ahhh having that cheeky little girl everyday at home would be something.

eh dah kul 7 la. nak get ready encik husband balik.

takla rutin kite tapi im trying to make it as a routine:
1. bukak gate utk husband.
2. salam, ciom, peluk sebelum masuk rumah.
3. amikkan air.
4. sediakan makan

ha senang kan? nampak senang tapi penat jugak, sebab lepas tu nak get ready gi jog plak. hihihi....

Quick update!

oh well. hello there!! *lap2laptopyangberhabuk*.

its been a long time yea since i last wrote here?? well, my life couldn't be better than what i have today. mashaallah alhamdulillah. walaupun i found it difficult to be ready by 7, and by 7.10am i should have reach my working place instead of golek2 with my husband cause he-starts-working-at-8.30-and-he-can-continue-his-other-1-hour-sleep is just annoyed me much.hehehe.

but, leaving the working place at 2pm is definitely a heaven. ahh, now you're telling me that i dont have a challenging working environment. tell me, what is the definition of challenging to you? by having some fist fight between the coworkers or clients? yup, i do have that just now. hahahaha....so which part of challenging u dont understand? hikhik...

kay, nanti kite sambung citer best2 lagi k. lapar sangat ni, nak g masak jap. daa!!

Working

Alhamdulilah.
rezeki Allah ada di mana2. luckily when i was told to resigned as i was promised to secure a place at 'the' company, 'the' company rejected me and said that he didn't promised me anyting. what a f*cker. memang i takkan maafkan dia dan keturunan dia sampai bila2 sampai dia mintak maaf kat i and mengaku salah dia. and alhamdulilah. tak sampai sebulan i tak bekerja, i secured another job. well, being a person that is responsible to deliver knowledge, i get it again.

alhamdulilah. alhamdulilah. alhamdulilah. i dah bernazar if i get this job at this salary, i nak belanja makan both my families.

so, what's new with my working place? it is an international institution, with more than half of the workers are foreigners, i think not more than 10 are malaysians, some are chinese, indian and malay. so it is not only one malaysia, but it is one world. hahaha... the best thing is, i work until 2.05pm but my salary is more than what i earn at 'the previous' company.

so again. alhamdulilah. i just cant wait for my first salary!

Lelaki Sempurna

Lelaki yang sempurna di mata saya haruslah encik husband. duhh...kalau orang selain selain encik husband yang sempurna, itu dah jadi lain. hikhikhik.... so sebenarnye entry ni untuk saya. tapi yelah, yang baca blog ni pun diri sendiri...haha so tak kisahlah nak cerita apa pun kan.

entry ni memang berkisar pasal kebaikan lelaki yang bernama encik husband saya. dari mula bercinta sampailah dah kahwin and dah ade sophea, he is still the perfect man i could ever had. pernah jugak terdetik kat hati sendiri, "what did i do to be deserve such a great man to be my husband?".

so ingat yer puan farah, kalau rasa2 sakit hati dengan suami sendiri, sila la baca balik entry ni, and kenapa sebab satu je salah dia buat, u decided to hate him forever. bawak-bawak lah bertenang and recape back all the good things he had done for you, for sophea, your family and everything else.

1. dari zaman bercinta sampai sekarang, tak pernah penat encik husband melayan kerenah i yang sukaaaaa sangat tanya, "do you love me syg?". out of nowhere and out of bloe, when the question popped in my head, terus tanya. kadang-kadang tengah bayar food dekat cashier pun boleh tanya. nonsense kan?? tapi benda yang random ni la i suka tanya. kang kat opis tersenyum sendiri bila lalu depan toilet encik husband pun i boleh jerit dari luar tanya, "daddyy...u sayang i ke tak?". heee

2. i tak suka sangat kalau encik husband bukak kan pintu kereta or tarikkan kerusi nak duduk. once in a while kalau pergi fine dining tu boleh la, tapi selalunya i tak kisah pun. lambat la nak tunggu dia tarikkan kerusi, penat nak duduk cepat. hahaha...tapi i suka sangat kalau pergi jalan-jalan dia bawak all the plastic and paper bags. hahaha... and selalu dia buat la. especially lepas bersalin ni tangan i ada something wrong skit dekat wrist. so selalu dia jela bawak. i lenggang kangkung.

3. masa dah kahwin ni encik husband suka kiss i. i pun sama la jugak. kadang2 kat depan pintu grill, dalam lift, dalam kereta, tak kira masa nak kiss jer. bukan french kiss ok..kiss pipi ke. entah. bau sedap pun yer jugak...hahaha... i rasa rindu jer tiap masa. and dia pun okay je, takde plak bagi pelempang satu das sebab ciom die kan. selalu lepas solat i doa semoga jodoh kekal sampai syurga.

4. encik husband sangat rajin. and details dan particular orangnya. lagi pembersih dari i. and dia tak berkira pun nak kemas pape dengan i. i yang berkira. nanti cakap penat la. i dah buat tu la. dah buat ni la. hahaha...so selalu dia la kene buli. kadang2 kesian jugak sebab dia mesti penat, tapi takpe lah. bukak selalu pun.

5. dia selalu ingatkan i pasal solat. hahaha....i ni suka ngelat sikit. i rasa lepas i kahwin graf solat i ni meningkat dengan jayanya. lagipun, lepas dapat apa yang kita hajat (macam happy married, kids and work), wajib la rasa bersyukur. bawak-bawak la ber-insaf sikit. hihihi...well it's a good thing kan??

6. tak berkira pasal duit. and i pun takde la amik kesempatan mintak bagai. walaupun haritu i mintak die beli pandora, tiba2 i kena saman (mcm tau2 je PDRM ni la), encik husband kata bye2 pandora. i is the very sedih. eh melalut lak citer. i rasa lelaki zaman sekarang susah nak cari yang macam ni. ada duit tapi berkira, takde duit tapi berkira takpela jugak. dah jadi tanggungjawab kot suami. tapi isteri pun berpada-pada la kan. so far barang2 i, barang sophea especially, he's quite alright. i hope dia akan ingat tanggungjawab dia sampai bila2.

7. sangat manja. he can't sleep when im not beside him. rasa suami yang dah kahwin macam tu. gaduh macam mana tetaplah nak peluk time tidur. well, kita perempuan haruslah suka, rasa nak menggedik time tu, and rasa di sayang-sayang jer. hahaha...

8. kalau i ada masalah, dia selalu jadi tukang dengar. and dia suka bagi komen. but thank god komen dia selalu sekepala dengan i. yelah kan, kita ada masalah kang dia bagi komen lain macam tak ke buat gaduh. but he's alright.

9. always there when im in need (read: sms/whatsapp). i memang takleh dia tinggal senyap barang sejam sekalipun. menggugup i cari dia. and kalau dia lambat reply, or whatasapp ada record bila last dia online kan, ha bukak watsapp pastu tak reply, memang hangin. dia pun dah masak dengan perangai i. tak perlu panjang, just to make sure that he still there and alive, it would be more than enough.

10. banyak lagi tapi last point, the love he showered for both me and sophea is just perfect. he loves his daughter so much and i can see that. masa pregnant dia macam endah tak endah jer, tapi once she's out, yup.... daddy's here!! lagi2 masa i pantang, seboleh2 nak sediakan yang terbaik untuk i and sophea. i will always remember that. takkan lupa sampai bila2.

10 jela dulu k...kang lebih2 muntah sendiri. hihi..... but yeah, semua orang ada pasangan perfect dia sendiri. but my prince charming, perfect in his own way. takkan i jumpa lelaki sebaik dia, yang can take a very good care of me and sophea, and respect my family and for everything i have. intelligent and smart, and got his own aura.

kalau setiap pagi tengok dia siap pergi kerja pastu i bebel2 sebab hensem sangat tu aura apa tu?? bukan aura dia, itu aura sendiri yang mengada. hahaha....

ps: so farah, always remember, manusia can never be perfect. but u already found your perfect prince charming. and why don't you be thankful and try to be the best for him?

Resepi Pavlova Senang Mudah Cepat Tepat!

yaAllah...sebenarnye senang gila buat pavlova ni weh. dalam satu minggu je, i baked 2 of these lovely pavlovas. gila ahh... bak kata encik husband "potong kaki wehh..". sebab manis sangat. sebenarnye manis boleh dikurangkan, saje je kan kate dessert apehal nak tawar2.

tapi haritu i buat air sirap tawar sebab rasanye dlm minggu tu banyak sangat minum air manis, sekali encik husband cakap masa makan pavlova tu, "air sirap kalau tawar tak jadi la air sirap...". wahhh...mengader sangat tau encik husband ni. cakap nak buat gaduh jer...nasib baik kita sayang dia...hahaha

ok. so korang dah ready dengan pen dan kertas?? macam kak ton, kalau ade resepi berkenan kat internet, snap je pakai phone. nanti kat dapur drag la screen bagi besar...hahaha....

so lets! tapi before that, lagi sekali i want to stress out, BUAT PAVLOVA SANGAT MUDAH!! sampai kene bayar rm12 untuk satu slice pavlova sedangkan kos buat dia tak sampai rm12 pun....

Panaskan oven dulu dalam 120 celcius

Bahan-bahan
6 biji telur putih (sila asing telur kuning tu, nak telur putih saja. makesure takde telur kuning walau setitik pun. kalau tak pandai asingkan, belajar2 la dulu...hihi)
160g castor sugar (kalau takde selalu i guna gula pasir biasa kisar sekejap dengan blender kecik tu)
1 sudu kecil cuka masakan (ala cuka dalam botol putih tu)
1 sudu kecil vanila esen
1 sudu kecil tepung jagung

Bahan Untuk Hiasan
250ml whip cream
buah-buahan masam macam strawberi, kiwi, blueberries etc etc tempyak tak boleh yer walaupun dia masam dan dari buah-buahan. hahaha

Bahan Bakar
120 degree celcius oven yand dah di pre-heat awal2
baking paper
baking tray

Cara-cara
1. pukul putih telur sehingga jadi berbuih.
2. masukkan castor sugar sedikit demi sedikit selang seli dengan pukulan. masukkan vanila esen.
3. teruskan memukul putih telur dan sugar sampai putih, shiny, dan bila terbalikkan mangkuk mixer tu, dia tak jatuh atas kepala kita.
(i have done these three times just to make sure it was a perfect batter. kalau meleleh ke ape, salah. sila pukul lagi)
4. stop mixer. masukkan cuka dan tepung jagung dan gaul guna spatula / sudip. jangan mix dengan mixer lagi. gaul sudahhh. masa ni da jadi meringue la
5.spread meringue tadi atas baking paper yang dah di letak dalam baking tray. rata kan sedikit. kalau nak buat tinggi, tak payah ratakan sangat. make sure buat macam 'wall' sekeliling meringue tu.
6. bakar selama 1 jam 30 minit pada suhu 120 degree celcius.
7. nak elak meringue patah teruk, bukakn pintu oven dan biarkan sampai room temperature.
8. hiaskan dengan whip cream dan buah-buahan.

makan sejuk2 sedap wehhh...sebab whi cream tu dah keras skit kan. hihihi.... selamat mencuba!

Macam mana nak kurus lepas bersalin?

oh wow. topik hangat dan taboo dalam kehidupan ibu-ibu sekalian. hahaha...but, since we are already here, apa kata kita continue je la penceritaan kita pada hari ni. oh, so sorry sangat2 sebab lama tak update, because surely im struggling with my life and juggling things. a part of me was so broken that i consider it was a test from God, but somehow Allah can't never be wrong and sayang nye Allah ke kita tu dalam macam-macam bentuk. but for right now, i just bersyukur for everything i have, especially husband and my daughter. two precious thing in my life that money can't buy.

so anyway, dah jadi mak-mak ni, lemak pun sangat la tepu. sangat susah nak hilang. tak macam zaman kita muda remaja belia khairy jamaluddin wahahaah tetiba nak masuk kan YB dah kenapa...sebab dia hot! dia menteri yang paling hot di ikuti datuk hishamuddin dan ketiga masih belum follow up. so betul ke tak?? betul kan yang our metabolism is the one actually yang menurun. therefore, kalau kita exercise dengan kadar yang rendah, maka it takes a whole year to remove the fats.

so people, here i am, trying to help you guys on how to reduce weight, and macam mana nak kurus dengan cepat. sangat mudah, simple, dan tips yang boleh diguna pakai oleh sesiapa sahaja, but i fokus untuk ibu-ibu lepas bersalin. sebab i gave birth 8months ago, and yes, i didn't get (yet) my desire weight.

1. orang kata menyusukan anak boleh kurus. for me, it's a no. tapi kakak ipaq i, kurus and perut reduce (she opt for c-sec). i yang normal birth ni, menyusukan sophea for a few months, tak reduce weight and i tend to eat a lot. so ikot orang yer. siapa yang reduce weight masa bagi susu, sila teruskan. jangan stop. biaq pi la orang nak cakap apa, anak kita, susu kita. so teruskan.

2. jangan makan nasi. actually i makan jugak sesenduk, tapi lepas i follow encik husband yang (tetibe) taknak makan nasi (yeahh right!), i nampak la jugak significant penurunan berat badan especially tang perut. so i suggest makan nasi sekali seminggu, dan hanya sesenduk. kalau ikot term kevin zahri, segenggam nasi. makan lauk2 sume okay, tapi makan jela sekali or dua kali seminggu benda goreng. yang lain rebus2 ke bakar2 ke.

3. jangan minum air manis. minum air masak SAHAJA, twister ke, f&n ke, teh tarik ke tak payah. bukan tak payah, tunggu la dah dapat ideal weight, belasah la makan apa pun. korang fikir macam ni jela, mati ke tak minum air manis2 tu?kalau aku tak minum dalam a few months jer, banyak dah boleh turun. ha boleh kan fikir macam tu? kalau tak minum air masak, buat la air limau ke, air lemon ke, tapi jangan buh gula. sedaaaaap lagi2 minum sejup2.

4. berjalan selama 30minit setiap kali. nak buat hari2 lagi bagus, nak buat 2 ke 3 kali sehari pun okay jugak. janji you all jalan 30 minit. kalau yang malu nak keluar rumah, malas nak pakai baju cantik (aje ler la alasan korang kan), jalan dalam rumah non-stop 30minit jer. kalau rumah bertingkek2 tu, cubalah turun naik tangga tu.

so, itu je la tips dari i yang tak kurus tapi nak suruh korang pun jadi kurus sama-sama. baik sangat hati i tau..hahaha...

3 jer tips dia. kalau 3 ni pun korang tak boleh follow, pengsan bertahun2 i okay. no rice, minum air masak, jalan 30minit sehari. cuba korang try sebulan. kurus nak mati okay. hahaha.... kalau korang mampu buat tiga benda ni, memang awesome la korang!!!

Tired

It is very tiring, trying to prove to people how much we love them, and how much they meant in our lives and that we care for them so much.

It is just tiring when none of the above have been appreciated. 

Maybe, just maybe we shouldn't being in love too much.

But how much is too much?

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Siapa yang tak beradab sekarang?

ha, rasa macam besat sangat sebab semua kerja dah settle.

1. exam question paper semua dah siap. dah siap print, dah siap compile. tunggu student datang attend exam jer. hahahaha....
2. hadiah untuk birthday nephew dah siap beli. beli 3 barang sekali, ada lori, topeng, dengan action figure. beli banyak sebab murah. pastu sambil2 tu beli sekali toys sophea. heee.
3. next week start tempat kerja baru. insyaAllah, dapat kerja ni pun sebab bos lama recommendkan. betul la orang cakap, kalau kita sabar dan jujur bekerja, pulangan dia Allah akan balas. alhamdulilah.
4. weekend ni cuti empat hari. sangat terbaik.

***

you know, every time we celebrated hari raya aildilfitri, my mom will always invited over her chinese, indian, and the rest of her friends to join us for the celebration. usually on the second day raya itself, most of them will come from early morning around 11am and will stay around up until 4.00pm. so malam 1st daya raya tu, all of my family members will be busy cleaning the house and also preparing some meals like rendang ayang, rendang daging, ayam masak merah. and macam masak lodeh tu kita masak early morning la, so that tak basi cepat.

as what i learned from their visit, setiap kali diorang datang tu, each and everyone of them akan bawak gifts or buah tangan kita panggil. i mean, we never even once ask them to bring stuff / potluck but every year diorang akan datang bawak gift.

sometimes diorang akan bawak macam souvenier kalau diorang balik from vacation (diorang selalu go overseas for vacation..niceee!), and selalunya diorang akan bawak food stuff. kadang hamper, kadang boxes of chocolate, cake, biscuits, kuih raya, even cordial for drinks pun ada. bukan yang murah2 tu k, ni cordial from other country ataupun yang brand amway ke apa.

lepas diorang datang tu penuh la rumah kitorang dengan jajan. and all of us (basically me and my sister jela) akan excited to see what they brought for us.

so after a while, i beginning to wonder around, this is a very good habit and attitude for us me to grasps on. once i heard, " treat other people the way you wanted to be treated like". something like that. so kalau i suka bila dapat jajan orang datang rumah i, why can't i do the same thing? tak perlu hadiah mahal-mahal, kadang2 kuih tepi jalan beli la 2 3 jenis bawak datang kat umah orang. kira jangan datang kat rumah orang tangan kosong.

kalau you suka orang belanja you makan, kita pun kena suka belanja orang makan.
kalau kita suka orang cakap sopan santun dengan kita, kita pun kena cakap sopan santun dengan orang.
respect others, and others will respect you.

senang macam tu kan?

tapi kadang2 tak nafikan, on the way nak gi umah kawan kita tu, tak semua senang nak access kedai makan ke, kedai buah ke, supermarket ke. tapi mana yang sempat tu beli lah. kalau dah takde cash sangat pun, kalau tau rumah yang dituju tu ada budak kecik, beli la ais krim ke ape.

kita tak tahu ganjaran apa yang menunggu kita sebab menggembirakan orang lain. :)

bila kita jadi orang islam ni, patut kita ada sifat terpuji tu lebih sikit. tapi tengok gayanya....haihhh. susah nak cakap sekarang. kita tak perlu pergi ke Afghanistan sana untuk berjihad bagai, tengok diri kita, sekeliling kita, apa kita boleh buat untuk improve life orang2 Islam kita, tanamkan sifat terpuji dalam diri anak2 islam kita.

budak2 sekarang lebih kurang beradab dari orang dewasa. memang patut sebab budak2 baru nak belajar. tapi please la, sama2 kita usaha untuk jadikan anak2 kita lebih baik. kita jadi orang dewasa ni, tengok2 sikit anak kita supaya bila nak bercakap tu fikir dulu, ajar diorang adab.

tapi tu la, tengok orang malaysia ni dah tau perangai macam mana. tengok jela kalau bercakap bab politik.

sekian.

Breakfast Out : La Bodega, Bangsar Shopping centre

so after so long tak lepak dengan my other group friends (you know, we have childhood friends, high school friends, uni friends, working friends, husband's friends etc etc you name it), with prompt decision making, we decided to meet up at La Bodega BSC. of course, sebelum pergi haruslah i survey food apa yang sedap untuk dimakan. nyum nyum!!

i thought i'm going alone, you know because breakfast will start at 9am as what we planned so i dont think i have enough time to wait for encik husband and sophea siap,kan? oh well, he wanted to follow me jugakkk... baru nak fefeeling single ngurat abang barista but it's good though. yela kan.....nampak la die sudi jadi peneman hidup i kemana saja arah hidup kita ewahh....hahaha! i was quite suprised actually yang dia nak ikot despite that he knew yang all girls punye gossip session.

tapi nampak sangat lelaki ni tak suka gossip kan. what he did? reading newspaper and taking care of sophea yang campak bib and all that she can hold on to the floor while mommy was busy gossiping with hands on air...hehehe....

we arrived at 10.30, the girls ada yang sampai awal and ada yang sampai sangaaattt lambat. apeda....we stayed there until 12.30pm. we thought of going to the Mid Valley to catch up on the baby expo tapi tak boleh sebab packed macam sardin. hahaha...nasib kat BSC ade Krispy Creme (encik husband taknak makan Jco or Big Apple sebab dia kata Krispy kreme terbaik!). i would heavily advise to take only the glaze one. sedap nak mampuihh...

anyway, what did we ate on that breakfast day? ermm...ingat nak makan english breakfast, sekali teringat yang im on a not so strict diet program, i decided to dug into pancake and caffe latte. while encik husband took french toast and orange juice.

Big Breakfast , RM33++

French Toast , RM11++

Pancake, RM11++

as for review:
1. pancake cost us rm11. rm3 additional for extra flavour. i took the original flavour butter and honey. sedappppppppppp..... pancake besar muka dia bagi dua keping. nyum nyum!!!
2. caffe latte dia too strong to my likings as im not a coffee drinker. i added two packets of sugar to break the thick coffee cream taste. rm17.
3. i didnt taste the french toast. rm 11.
4. orange juice was okay. rm17
5. tasted big english breakfast. baked beans sangat sedap, and the mushroom....GOD! sedap nak mampuih... fully recommended. rm33.
6. yang lain tak ingat.

tempat sangat selesa dan sangat bersih dan sangat cantik. i even said this to encik husband, "sayang...maybe once in a while we can have our own sweet time lepak and having breakfast macam ni...". he just said that makan kuy teow goreng ke nasi lemak sotong kat rumah u masak lagi sedap smiled.

plenty of parking bays at BSC (if u'r early). on the breakfast date, my friend will be leaving for Japan soon, and my other friend is getting married. tu la sebabnya jumpe..nak pass kad kahwin. wehuuu!! congrats to both of you!

The Fat Tips

kadang-kadang ada satu masa dalam hidup kita, kita akan rasa 'down' sangat. semua benda macam not fall and fit into the right places, and kita rasa hidup kita ni susah sangat. tapi kan, just take a moment to look around, sebenarnye banyaaakkkkkk lagi benda untuk kita rasa bersyukur and also ramaaaiiii lagi manusia yang lebih teruk hidup dia dari kita.

selain berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik, dan nak hidup kita lebih baik, kita kena jugak berdoa semoga segalanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah.memang tak salah kalau kita compare hidup kita dengan orang lain, tapi kalau you keep on comparing your life dengan orang lain , and that will make you feeling down, apakah gunanya?? kalau you compare yourself to others untuk memajukan diri tak pe la jugak.

especially me. hahaha......sebok tengok orang lain kurus, kau pun nak jugak....tapi sambil compare sambil makan coklat. apakah? hahaha....tu encik husband cakap masa kitorang on the way nak balik rumah, "tak payah la compare2 dengan orang lain. orang yang compare2 and sebok amik tau hal orang lain ni loser, takde motif dalam hidup....". haha....kuang ajaq sangat tau. tapi pastu dia cakap, "tapi kalau u compare yourself and be positive about it...itu bagus lah..".

terus malam tu jogging 3km sekali harung. tapi memang terbaik lah. now we are planning to jog right after he pick me at the train. kira semua dah siap pakai baju sukan la nak run. satu jam je wak. ape la sangat...wahhh berlagak statement. anyway, post-natal weight ni memang liat giler (memang la liat tak workout ape kau ingat dia bertaburan lari lepas beranak??). so lagi 8kg je nak turun. bukan susah pun. -_____________-

anyway, comparing my life not mainly sebab weight, afterall sebelum ii , i weighted more than what i am now gulp? , but on something else. life; life without a problem bukanlah hidup nama dia. selalunya masalah yang datang ni, akan buat kita lebih hargai hidup kita.

tak percaya??

well, i am the living proof. so many things had happened in my life. i passed through it, and most importantly i learned through it. there are a few things that i wanted to share with you:

1. tak semua yang kita nak kita akan dapat.
2. ramai orang jahat dalam dunia ni.
3. but we can start one from our own self ; by being nice to other people.
4. percaya dengan ketentuan Allah.

tapi nasihat i yang paling utama sekali, when it comes to making choices, think carefully and wisely. kalau dua-dua sama berat, pilih yang ada extra point. don't worry, there is no wrong or right when making choices for our lives. it is just either we are following the short way or long way to happiness and success.

so anyway, pilihan i untuk work out lepas balik kerja tu, tak tahulah pilihan yang bijak ke tak. bahahaha.....you know, at one point im afraid i will be soooo tired that i can't cook for encik husband bila balik (but i would be so happy if he can eat only nasik and telur goreng with kicap) , and if i dont go, my trans-fat would be happy living around my waist and tummy.

but, read notes no 3: ".....being nice to other people".

let just stick to - making other people (fat and husband) happy, shall we?

running man

when sophea is not around (read: following her nenek jalan etc), basically husband and i will use all the time to...erm...you know, cherish each other as much as we could. in our own way of course. meaning, doing crazy things and trying to hurt each other (physically).

encik husband selalu je cakap, "hello sayang...awak tu mak orang tau....anak dah satu...cuba behave sikit..". well, that doesn't turn me down on doing things i like the most ;  teasing him. but by the time i want to write these down, i came to the end of the road. maaf lah yer...bahahaha!

but semalam, i balik office a bit lambat , because i met my friend halfway back, so we were basically chirping and gossiping updating each other. i tell that sad story later. so anyway, by the time we reached home, it was already 8.30 pm. luckily we were on diet starvation mode so encik husband nak makan burger jer. diet apakah makan burger. burger la lagi banyak calorie count dia. #dietfreaktapibukandietpunsebenarnye

so while waiting for the burger to defrost a bit, encik husband help me around the kitchen asah pisau. ye ye, im lazy like that , that my own pisau pun i tak asah until i have to do it jugak la. entah la, dah macam terbiasa plak encik husband tukang asah pisau and haaa, lagi satu, isi air dalam ice cube tray tu....hahaha...i punya tahap kemalasan yang amat melampu, dua benda tu je ha. oh lagi satu bab basuh toilet but we girls dont mention that isn't it?

lepas makan, take a rest for awhile, then we went for a jog. it's been a while since our last jog together. i do a bit of circuit training and on treadmill tapi encik husband tu biasalah dia. so we all decided to have our jogging session. siap-siap and off we go.

sampai je i terus cakap dengan ecik husband, "b, i nak run for 1 hour tau. u jangan stop...". dia jeling i dengan pandangan yang tajam. cis, dia ingat i tak mampu. fine! we'll see siapa yang tertinggal jauh kat belakang. i ran and ran and ran until im out of breath. masa tu dah halfway, lebih kurang 1.5KM. so i had another 1.5KM to go. dammit. mana boleh i mengaku kalah.

tapiii...masa tu muscle i dah senak. eh ade ke muscle senak?  but i just continued until dalam 300m nak sampai kat parking bay, i stopped. i had to stopped. hehehe....not because im tired but i stopped because i want to look around the scenery and the night view was just mesmerizing. you know what i mean right??

heee.....anyway, it was definitely a fun run. did a lil bit of cool down then balik. on the way back, we listened to a couple of my selection of songs our favourite songs, happily and energetic of we were that time. i guess when we really put our mind into it, things will eventually happen.

actually we were supposed to have our night run on monday, tapi monday tu encik husbank balik lambat so terpaksa cancel sebab by the time we finished our home cook dinner, dah nak pukul 10.20pm. abistu, kul bape nak habis jog , kan?? i know we were supposed to go, sekejap je pun dalam one hour, tapi sebab kitorang kan first timer after so long rehat, takut jugak tengah-tengah lari tu terpejam terus tido kat situ. hahahaha..... dah tua-tua ni banyak kemungkinan...gitewwww.....

balik je, cuba teka kitorang buat apa??haa......basuh toilet. boleh??? *hentak dahi kat dinding* penat wehhhhh....kena buli plak basuh toilet. i pun apa lagi, purposely buat-buat lambat, angkat kain dulu la...buat exercise perut la kat depan tv, hahaha.... last-last kena jugak. but alhamdulilah apparently tangan i luka sebab kena paper cut #perghhgediktakhengatminahnie so i ambil alih tugas sembur air je. but last night was damn cold, pergh diri kaku jela i sembur air. encik husband tukang sental-sental.

rasa kalau ada yang read dah tau sangat perangai tahap kebersihan encik husband dah macam OCD dah. i rasa toilet tu biasa je, takdelah kotor sangat. ntah apa dia dengki sangat tengok bathroom i. sebok nak sental malam-malam tu jugak pukul 12 am apakah nasib i seorang isteri .

tau-tau in between i dah cranky. hahahaha i ni memang tak boleh. if i feel a bit tired, mulah la i diam seribu bahasa pastu cranky macam dah taknak gurau la. dia kacau i ape ntah pastu i jawab, "ha jangann lahh....kita penat ni....". pastu dia jawab... "haaa cranky la tu...dah penat kan...". ehh la tauuu....dok kacau ceq wat pa....hahaha.

tapi lepas mandi terus segar bugar. hahahaha....siap pasang a chance of a cloudy meatballs 2 lagi siap makan kerepek. entah bila i tertido pun i tak tau. tau-tau encik husband kejut suh masuk bilik. ada patut kejut sesekali dukung la bawak masuk .

but we really do had a great day and it was fun. sometimes being just the two of us is good. but if sophea is around, it will just be great. great is better than good. oh i miss that cheeky little girl!

Sophea's Update

die kan, bila nak update jer niat tu kuat betul. but by the time nak update tu memang ke laut. nasib la ade orang tu suka sangat suruh i update. tak putus2 request suh update blog. tapi i syak la dia sebenarnye perli i, i je buat2 jujur, yang dia memang nak baca blog i. kita sebagai orang islam kan tak baik buruk sangka. wahahaha....padahal memang dah takde orang nak baca kak. tutup jela blog ni.

tapi....tak kisahla. sebenanrnya, in real life pun i memang jenis talkative. mak mertua pun kadang2 dia cakap "sophea macam mommy banyak cakap...". i rasa dia perli tu,suh  bawak2 berkurang kan bercakap, tapi.... he he he...that's not me...not me at all... *flip hair*

tapi i ni kalau diam seribu bahasa, maksudnya adalah yang tak kena. adalah orang yang i tak suka berada dalam radius 10 meter dari i, atau i simply dont want to talk. ada sekali tu i balik rumah mertua, nampak newspaper. i opened it and read it through. seronok la baca paper sebab dah lama sangat tak baca. sekali encik husband datang "sayang...tutup dulu paper tu. nanti mama kata menantu sombong taknak bercakap plak..". terkedu i. terus tutup and chirp around happily. hahaha.... kuang asam punya suami.

so nak update ape kita sebenarnye. update pasal sophea jom!

sophea 31 january ni genap dia 8 bulan. setakat 8 bulan ni apa yang dia dah pandai:

1. she talks a lot! i mean like a lot for baby her age. haha....i wonder dia ikot siapa. ada sekali tu nak dekat 15 minutes dia cakap non stop. well, not literally cakap, but yeah..she talked in her own language.. but me and encik husband sekalu jer terhibur with what she's trying to say. we love it and cherished them so much!

2. she knows how to clap her hands. ni rasanya kena ucap terima kasih kat mak mertua sebab dia yang ajar sophea tepuk amai-amai. mommy biasalah bawak balik rumah terus "sophea...clap your hands!!". hahaha...tapi paham plak anak aku ni. and she will clap her hand repetitively. tapi ikut mood dia la. kalau dia rajin dia buat.

3. she knows when i asked her to kiss me. for example macam, "sophea...kiss mommy...kiss mommy sayang..". pastu dia bagi dahi dia kat i. -_______-. tapi kita macam happy la kan sebab baby kita dah pandai response. so actually, our babies ni listen but they couldn't response (yet). so keep talking and show her things, nanti dia akan buat jugak.

4. she responses to my instruction. ni i baru buat experiment sekali jer. she picked a towel, so i asked her to put it back. and yup! she put it back...awwww....i tiap kali cakap ke suruh sophea buat ke, bila dia respon tu i macam melt-melt jer. she's just adorable..... haihhh

5. she still need to be put to sleep. ehh...macam kejam jer bunyik. i mean, i need to carry her, and hug her sampai dia tidur. kalau dia dah half tidur pun i dah boleh letak dia on her bad. dulu masa kecik-kecik tak boleh. letak je nangis. now she big girl already. sobs sobs...

6. she exciteds more when she sees her daddy. entah kenapa...kalau dengan daddy senang je nak senyum gelak borak2. kalau dengan mommy dia buat sukati dia jer. i know she loves me but she loves her daddy more??bzzzzzz..... mommy yang mengandungkan awak tau sophea!

alhamdulilah, i really can't describe how happy and calm i am now. dah takde apa untuk i fikir lagi especially lepas kahwin haritu (haritu ape...dah nak masuk 2 tahun okay...hahah). sekarang my life memang fully untuk husband and anak i. i just wanted to make them happy, and that they are happy with me around. banyak plan i nak buat dengan encik husband. on how to improve life, our lifestyle, our health, making money, take care of kids and stuff. rasa semua macam tu kot?

maybe our life is not perfect for you, but seriously i couldnt ask for more. it is just too perfect that at some moment i jadi takut, kalau Allah amik balik pinjaman Dia. we all know that this is only a loan from God right? i know...

but always remember things happen for a reason... just be happy :)

Penggoda

i really dont know about other people who already married. did you guys play around a lot with your spouse?? i mean like really fool around the house (err...not in a kinky way of course...i wouldnt dare to know...hahaha) with your husband? coz mannn....i really did get teased around pretty much.

especially time tengah mandi. tak kira la subuh ke, malam ke, pukul 2 3 pagi ke, encik husband tersangatlah 'rajinnnnnnnye' nak jugakkk tutup lampu bathroom i bila i'm taking my shower.. i mean, guys...did you really 'enjoy' that moment huh? listening to your wife's screaming in a middle of a night?? ishh...tak paham.

pastu if i were doin my thing, seboklah jerit dari luar, "baby....buat ape tewww...??". rasa nak jawab je, "masak sayang..." tapi kang dia kata i isteri derhaka plak. hehehe....selalu i jawab "adelah....sebok jer...". pastu i senyum-senyum sebab terfikir apelah husband i ni, sebok nak tau...ke tak boleh berjauhan ke ape... hehehe...

tu okay lagi. masa awal-awal kahwin dulu, tangan i memang dah standby je nak tapek die sekali. apekan tidak, i keluar bilik, dia tengah cangkung depan bathroom. dah kenapa?? memang niat hati dia tu nak terkejutkan i la tu. sah-sah la memang kita terkejut sebab lepas mandi, would you ever once concern on what is happening outside of your bedroom?? tak la kan...mesti la kite fikir takde orang and aman damai je. sekali ada orang duk mencangkung depan bathroom u, haruslahh rasa nak tapek... nasib i tak sepak je. hahaha.... tapi kalau niat memang nak sepak ngaku la nanti ter-sepak. hahaha...puas hati.

tapiiiiiiiiii................

itu kalau kat rumah, kalau dalam kereta jangan harap la. it's my turn bebeh. yela kan, encik husband kan driving, makanya, bermewah-mewahan la i dalam kereta. cocok pinggang dia kan (please don't do this, bahaya actually), joget2 depan dia ke. nyanyi2 sekuat hati ke.

selalu encik husband buat muka sardin jer. malu agaknya dapat wife tak berapa nak matang. atau pun dia geleng-geleng kepala. tak pun dia cakap, "b...orang sebelah nampak la..". merujuk kepada kereta sebelah.

bukan tak matang, it just that, i am being me, and i love to tease him as much he likes to tease me. so same-same la kan? hehehe...

ohh i remember, masa mula-mula kahwin banyaklah adegan panas dalam kereta, hahaha....well, dah halal kan. dulu masa tak halal jauh2 je la. tapi takde la panas mana pun. saje gurau-gurau. sekali kereta sebelah tu ternampak ke skodeng kitorang ke entah la. bila stop kat traffic light, dua-dua orang kat dalam kereta tu pandang kitorang. sekali tahu encik husband buat apa. dia pandang balik kereta sebelah tu, pastu gerak kan kepala dia macam, "ha, apsal? ada hutang?" sambil senyum kat orang sebelah tu. hahaha...orang sebelah tu senyum balik pastu tak pandang dah.

hahahaha.....gila taiko. dahla kau yang buat adegan panas mengundang, pastu kau nak sound dia balik. ha ha ha bagus perangai. but we had a good laugh about it. sampai sekarang kalau teringat balik mesti nak tergelak. ha ha ha.... kitorang ni memang...perangai dah macam ape ntah.

and selalu jugak i tanya dia soalan bonus. ala....perempuan kan suka tanya, "u sayang i tak?". rasa dalam sehari paling tak pun sekali mesti tanya. agaknya kalau sophea tu boleh jawab , dia jawab camni kot, " mommy....agak-agak la. dah la daddy dengan mommy dah 9 tahun, dah dapat sophea pun boleh tanya lagi...". hahaha....tak kiwe.... sukati mommy la.

ada once tu i tanya dia, "despite what had happened, u rasa menyesal tak kahwin dengan i...".

pastu encik husband jawab sambil pandang muka i, "not even once i.......". pastu i tak dengar dah la seterusnya sebab i dah busy angkat barang2 from boot kereta. dah jadi mak-mak ni, nak romantic pun halfway jer. banyak lagi kerja nak selesaikan.

ha ha ha.

Rindu Sangat

semalam pergi makan kat bumbu desa alamanda tu. tak ramai orang pun. baguslah. bukan bagus sebab apa, tapi sebab i buruk selekeh paling tak hengat punyer, so takde la nampak ke-buruk-kan i tu. berbeza dengan encik husband yang head to toe sangatlah handsome. dia dahlah pakai baju baru yang i awesome-ly iron untuk dia. i wonder dia tak rasa ke macam "selekeh gila wife aku!". dahla semalam i buruk, life plak rasa miserable sangat, dengan tak bawak handbag. tau tak ape je yang ada kat tangan i? handphone dengan powerbank. tak ke buruk rupenye? encik husband always look awesomely handsome and tough through my eyes. entahlah, sebab kita cintakan dia kot, tu yang nampak hensem semedang jer.

cuba kalau benci, bayang2 dia pun nampak hodoh. kan?hahaha....

somehow, spending the night just the two us, it helps to put my worries at ease. betul lah orang cakap, dah kahwin ni, gunakanlah suami sebaik mungkin. bukan sebagai account banker sahaja, tapi sebagai kaunselor kita jugak. walaupun..... ha walaupun actually they dont help much hahaha, but the fact kite dah luahkan everything, permasalahan kita, is good enough. that's the beauty of marriage. and that's the benefit of having someone cares for you.

we don't get worried too much sebab dia seorang saja yang nampak buruk baiknya kita. dah nama pun isteri dia.

the fact that makan dua orang jer almost rm130++, i rasa better la makan nasi padang kat kedai indon biasa-biasa. melampau sangat. sebenarnye this was his first time makan situ. i dah banyak kali before ni, tapi i makan masa i pergi bandung. makan 5 orang tak sampai Rp300,000 which equals to RM100++ kita. murah kan? sekali kat franchise malaysia ni mahal sangat.

i is not kaya you know.

***

anyway malam tu kitorang tido rumah my MIL. dah 3 hari tak jumpa sophea, so this is the time la nak jumpa. sophea balik kampung jumpa buyut (moyang) dia.

when i was still in the car i cakap kat encik husband, "sayang....sampai je rumah mama i nak terus masuk tau. nanti you angkatkan beg k sayang?". hahaha.... tahap kedengkian taknak bagi anak kat encik husband dulu, terus bagi order awal-awal walaupun selama ni memang die je pun angkat beg. hahaha...siapa lagi nak harapkan melainkan suami kita yang handsome lagi gagah.

kete stop je meluru i masuk. dari depan gate i nampak sophea tengah minum susu dalam stroller dia. dia sangat manja dan dimanjakan sangat oleh nyai dia. minum susu pun nak dalam stroller. so i called by her name, "sophea.....sophea!". so dia terus stop susu and look around for the voice. i kow she knows that it's her mom's voice.

i bukak je grill tu, dia terus nampak i, and she was like excitedly screaming uuu ahhh uuuu in a very high pitch, waving her hands, dengan kaki dah kelam kabut. omgg....i masa tu nak nangis okay sebab i missed her so much, and yet dia bagi respons macam tu....luluh2 jantung i. but tak boleh challenge when daddy came in, lagi excited dia jerit-jerit. macam, "my parents is here!!!".

i dokong dia, and she was like kaki dia panjat2 i, and she hugged me tightly. mind you, she's still small and i might exaggerate a lil bit, but if you ever have the same experience macam i, you tau la yang anak you was so happy to see us, the parents.

so lama la i dokong dia, ciom2 dia before i took my shower.

by 11pm macam tu she's sleepy. dokong2 dia sambil borak dengan both MIL and FIL, tiba2 sophea's sleeping on my chest. just like she used to when she was a baby. the feelings were great. truly said, i am happy to be a mother and i am so a proud mommy.

malam tu sophea tido je. dua kali bangun for her regular time for milk, sampai pagi tadi i nak pergi kerja pun dia tak bangun lagi. rasa secure maybe having mommy and daddy tidur sekali.

fyi, i have been with sophea for almost one month, kan sebab i habiskan my leaves so lama gila i dengan dia kat umah. so bila dah start 2014 ni, and dah start jumpa dia alternate days, rindu sangat dengan budak bolat tu.

haihhh...only a mother can understand.

anyway, esok malam dah amik dia balik pun. tak sabar nak spend the weekend with my babies. the best moment so far ialah bila kita dibangunkan oleh suara anak kita yang awal-awal dah bangun dulu dari kita. and bila kita celik mata je, i nampak my husband and sophea by myside. *senyum*

the feelings is just bliss. i feel so complete. *lap air mata*

Negative Vibes

tadi tengah kemas-kemas pendrive. ha ha ha pendrive pun nak kemas. panggggg sekali! yela...dah document semua berterabur dalam tu, haruslah kan kemas masuk susun dalam folder cantik-cantik. then masa kemas-kemas tu terjumpe la satu document. document tu la puncanya ada titik hitam dalam hati i ni. hurmm... titik hitam tu bukan sebab perasaan dendam ke ape. titik hitam tu macam satu benda paling buruk pernah berlaku dalam hidup i. kira macam, sepanjang i hidup, itulah 'benda' yang paling mengecewakan. and it hurts so bad that i decided to leave malaysia for good. and truly said, i'm not over it totally. i tau kita patut let go for good things to come our way, but i just cant. lagi2 especially when im all alone atau dengar lagu sedih, kata-kata yang menghancurkan hati i lingering in my mind. and yes, setiap kali teringat bulu roma i akan berdiri, thinking it 'that' thing happen again, what else would i do?

leave malaysia for good? maybe i will. and i bring sophea sekali. that would be nice eh growing up in suburbs of wales, or london. ehehehe.... can go shopping what. he he he... i just hope and pray that people will always keep their promises.

***

oh semalam encik husband konvo. being a wife, i always been proud with him. entahlah, knowing that he is always passionate for the job, and do things accordingly, i just hope in 10 years time dia dapat gelaran datuk. wahh...tinggi kan angan-angan. yela, if he become datuk, i go shopping. hahahah.... nampak tak permainan dia kat situ? haahaha....

i always proud to be his wife, always proud whenever he touches my hand and hold it tight. siapa yang tak suka bila dia rasa disayangi. siapa? semua suka. me too.... macam pagi tadi, dahla bangun lambat, but he kept holding my hand, hugged me tightly, padahal mata i laju je tengok jam pukul berapa dia nak bangun dari katil. but still i dont want to paksa him bangun, sebab helloooo...siapa plak suka tengah tidur kena kejut kan?? slow slow la. pastu nak golek-golek peluk2 kat katil. pastu nanti bising2 lambat...hahaha...cute tapi annoying. padahal dia yang buat lambat tu... hahaha...

i tak tau la perasaan dia kat i camne setelah nak masuk 2 tahun kahwin ni.but for me, my feelings for him still going strong. in fact, it getting stronger when sophea came into the picture. i see him, my beloved husband more like our life's line, as our protector. he, has the biggest influence in our lives. i just feel safe whenever im with him.

i'm sure sophea feel the same way too. *senyum*

hahaha...tetiba nak feeling cinta plak. ni mesti kes tertengok document yang penuh sejarah hitam tu. whenever i picture.............. ok im tired with all these. why la benda ni jadi kat aku??? kalau la boleh basuh brain kite nie so that i cannot remember any of these bullshit kan bagus. sakit otak jugakla sebenarnye.. orang maybe cakap, "ala kau je selalu pikir2...teringat2..memang la sakit hati..". memang la, but hello...it's there. in my BRAIN! that is what we called MEMORY. we can't delete the memories.

mood dah ke laut ni. haihhh.... baru nak stay positive. half day je dapat?? hahaha...

***

dah la. i just want to have a happy life. i dont need people who dont stay the same path with me. they can go if they dont like to stay in my route, the route to happiness. i want. i do really want. having loving husband who loves me and the babies. i really2 want it.

so ya Allah, sentiasa kurniakan kebahagiaan buat aku dan suami serta anak2. panjangkan jodoh kami sehingga ke syurga. permudahakn segala urusan kami di dunia dan juga akhirat. amin. insyaallah.