Siapa yang tak beradab sekarang?

ha, rasa macam besat sangat sebab semua kerja dah settle.

1. exam question paper semua dah siap. dah siap print, dah siap compile. tunggu student datang attend exam jer. hahahaha....
2. hadiah untuk birthday nephew dah siap beli. beli 3 barang sekali, ada lori, topeng, dengan action figure. beli banyak sebab murah. pastu sambil2 tu beli sekali toys sophea. heee.
3. next week start tempat kerja baru. insyaAllah, dapat kerja ni pun sebab bos lama recommendkan. betul la orang cakap, kalau kita sabar dan jujur bekerja, pulangan dia Allah akan balas. alhamdulilah.
4. weekend ni cuti empat hari. sangat terbaik.

***

you know, every time we celebrated hari raya aildilfitri, my mom will always invited over her chinese, indian, and the rest of her friends to join us for the celebration. usually on the second day raya itself, most of them will come from early morning around 11am and will stay around up until 4.00pm. so malam 1st daya raya tu, all of my family members will be busy cleaning the house and also preparing some meals like rendang ayang, rendang daging, ayam masak merah. and macam masak lodeh tu kita masak early morning la, so that tak basi cepat.

as what i learned from their visit, setiap kali diorang datang tu, each and everyone of them akan bawak gifts or buah tangan kita panggil. i mean, we never even once ask them to bring stuff / potluck but every year diorang akan datang bawak gift.

sometimes diorang akan bawak macam souvenier kalau diorang balik from vacation (diorang selalu go overseas for vacation..niceee!), and selalunya diorang akan bawak food stuff. kadang hamper, kadang boxes of chocolate, cake, biscuits, kuih raya, even cordial for drinks pun ada. bukan yang murah2 tu k, ni cordial from other country ataupun yang brand amway ke apa.

lepas diorang datang tu penuh la rumah kitorang dengan jajan. and all of us (basically me and my sister jela) akan excited to see what they brought for us.

so after a while, i beginning to wonder around, this is a very good habit and attitude for us me to grasps on. once i heard, " treat other people the way you wanted to be treated like". something like that. so kalau i suka bila dapat jajan orang datang rumah i, why can't i do the same thing? tak perlu hadiah mahal-mahal, kadang2 kuih tepi jalan beli la 2 3 jenis bawak datang kat umah orang. kira jangan datang kat rumah orang tangan kosong.

kalau you suka orang belanja you makan, kita pun kena suka belanja orang makan.
kalau kita suka orang cakap sopan santun dengan kita, kita pun kena cakap sopan santun dengan orang.
respect others, and others will respect you.

senang macam tu kan?

tapi kadang2 tak nafikan, on the way nak gi umah kawan kita tu, tak semua senang nak access kedai makan ke, kedai buah ke, supermarket ke. tapi mana yang sempat tu beli lah. kalau dah takde cash sangat pun, kalau tau rumah yang dituju tu ada budak kecik, beli la ais krim ke ape.

kita tak tahu ganjaran apa yang menunggu kita sebab menggembirakan orang lain. :)

bila kita jadi orang islam ni, patut kita ada sifat terpuji tu lebih sikit. tapi tengok gayanya....haihhh. susah nak cakap sekarang. kita tak perlu pergi ke Afghanistan sana untuk berjihad bagai, tengok diri kita, sekeliling kita, apa kita boleh buat untuk improve life orang2 Islam kita, tanamkan sifat terpuji dalam diri anak2 islam kita.

budak2 sekarang lebih kurang beradab dari orang dewasa. memang patut sebab budak2 baru nak belajar. tapi please la, sama2 kita usaha untuk jadikan anak2 kita lebih baik. kita jadi orang dewasa ni, tengok2 sikit anak kita supaya bila nak bercakap tu fikir dulu, ajar diorang adab.

tapi tu la, tengok orang malaysia ni dah tau perangai macam mana. tengok jela kalau bercakap bab politik.

sekian.

Breakfast Out : La Bodega, Bangsar Shopping centre

so after so long tak lepak dengan my other group friends (you know, we have childhood friends, high school friends, uni friends, working friends, husband's friends etc etc you name it), with prompt decision making, we decided to meet up at La Bodega BSC. of course, sebelum pergi haruslah i survey food apa yang sedap untuk dimakan. nyum nyum!!

i thought i'm going alone, you know because breakfast will start at 9am as what we planned so i dont think i have enough time to wait for encik husband and sophea siap,kan? oh well, he wanted to follow me jugakkk... baru nak fefeeling single ngurat abang barista but it's good though. yela kan.....nampak la die sudi jadi peneman hidup i kemana saja arah hidup kita ewahh....hahaha! i was quite suprised actually yang dia nak ikot despite that he knew yang all girls punye gossip session.

tapi nampak sangat lelaki ni tak suka gossip kan. what he did? reading newspaper and taking care of sophea yang campak bib and all that she can hold on to the floor while mommy was busy gossiping with hands on air...hehehe....

we arrived at 10.30, the girls ada yang sampai awal and ada yang sampai sangaaattt lambat. apeda....we stayed there until 12.30pm. we thought of going to the Mid Valley to catch up on the baby expo tapi tak boleh sebab packed macam sardin. hahaha...nasib kat BSC ade Krispy Creme (encik husband taknak makan Jco or Big Apple sebab dia kata Krispy kreme terbaik!). i would heavily advise to take only the glaze one. sedap nak mampuihh...

anyway, what did we ate on that breakfast day? ermm...ingat nak makan english breakfast, sekali teringat yang im on a not so strict diet program, i decided to dug into pancake and caffe latte. while encik husband took french toast and orange juice.

Big Breakfast , RM33++

French Toast , RM11++

Pancake, RM11++

as for review:
1. pancake cost us rm11. rm3 additional for extra flavour. i took the original flavour butter and honey. sedappppppppppp..... pancake besar muka dia bagi dua keping. nyum nyum!!!
2. caffe latte dia too strong to my likings as im not a coffee drinker. i added two packets of sugar to break the thick coffee cream taste. rm17.
3. i didnt taste the french toast. rm 11.
4. orange juice was okay. rm17
5. tasted big english breakfast. baked beans sangat sedap, and the mushroom....GOD! sedap nak mampuih... fully recommended. rm33.
6. yang lain tak ingat.

tempat sangat selesa dan sangat bersih dan sangat cantik. i even said this to encik husband, "sayang...maybe once in a while we can have our own sweet time lepak and having breakfast macam ni...". he just said that makan kuy teow goreng ke nasi lemak sotong kat rumah u masak lagi sedap smiled.

plenty of parking bays at BSC (if u'r early). on the breakfast date, my friend will be leaving for Japan soon, and my other friend is getting married. tu la sebabnya jumpe..nak pass kad kahwin. wehuuu!! congrats to both of you!

The Fat Tips

kadang-kadang ada satu masa dalam hidup kita, kita akan rasa 'down' sangat. semua benda macam not fall and fit into the right places, and kita rasa hidup kita ni susah sangat. tapi kan, just take a moment to look around, sebenarnye banyaaakkkkkk lagi benda untuk kita rasa bersyukur and also ramaaaiiii lagi manusia yang lebih teruk hidup dia dari kita.

selain berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik, dan nak hidup kita lebih baik, kita kena jugak berdoa semoga segalanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah.memang tak salah kalau kita compare hidup kita dengan orang lain, tapi kalau you keep on comparing your life dengan orang lain , and that will make you feeling down, apakah gunanya?? kalau you compare yourself to others untuk memajukan diri tak pe la jugak.

especially me. hahaha......sebok tengok orang lain kurus, kau pun nak jugak....tapi sambil compare sambil makan coklat. apakah? hahaha....tu encik husband cakap masa kitorang on the way nak balik rumah, "tak payah la compare2 dengan orang lain. orang yang compare2 and sebok amik tau hal orang lain ni loser, takde motif dalam hidup....". haha....kuang ajaq sangat tau. tapi pastu dia cakap, "tapi kalau u compare yourself and be positive about it...itu bagus lah..".

terus malam tu jogging 3km sekali harung. tapi memang terbaik lah. now we are planning to jog right after he pick me at the train. kira semua dah siap pakai baju sukan la nak run. satu jam je wak. ape la sangat...wahhh berlagak statement. anyway, post-natal weight ni memang liat giler (memang la liat tak workout ape kau ingat dia bertaburan lari lepas beranak??). so lagi 8kg je nak turun. bukan susah pun. -_____________-

anyway, comparing my life not mainly sebab weight, afterall sebelum ii , i weighted more than what i am now gulp? , but on something else. life; life without a problem bukanlah hidup nama dia. selalunya masalah yang datang ni, akan buat kita lebih hargai hidup kita.

tak percaya??

well, i am the living proof. so many things had happened in my life. i passed through it, and most importantly i learned through it. there are a few things that i wanted to share with you:

1. tak semua yang kita nak kita akan dapat.
2. ramai orang jahat dalam dunia ni.
3. but we can start one from our own self ; by being nice to other people.
4. percaya dengan ketentuan Allah.

tapi nasihat i yang paling utama sekali, when it comes to making choices, think carefully and wisely. kalau dua-dua sama berat, pilih yang ada extra point. don't worry, there is no wrong or right when making choices for our lives. it is just either we are following the short way or long way to happiness and success.

so anyway, pilihan i untuk work out lepas balik kerja tu, tak tahulah pilihan yang bijak ke tak. bahahaha.....you know, at one point im afraid i will be soooo tired that i can't cook for encik husband bila balik (but i would be so happy if he can eat only nasik and telur goreng with kicap) , and if i dont go, my trans-fat would be happy living around my waist and tummy.

but, read notes no 3: ".....being nice to other people".

let just stick to - making other people (fat and husband) happy, shall we?

running man

when sophea is not around (read: following her nenek jalan etc), basically husband and i will use all the time to...erm...you know, cherish each other as much as we could. in our own way of course. meaning, doing crazy things and trying to hurt each other (physically).

encik husband selalu je cakap, "hello sayang...awak tu mak orang tau....anak dah satu...cuba behave sikit..". well, that doesn't turn me down on doing things i like the most ;  teasing him. but by the time i want to write these down, i came to the end of the road. maaf lah yer...bahahaha!

but semalam, i balik office a bit lambat , because i met my friend halfway back, so we were basically chirping and gossiping updating each other. i tell that sad story later. so anyway, by the time we reached home, it was already 8.30 pm. luckily we were on diet starvation mode so encik husband nak makan burger jer. diet apakah makan burger. burger la lagi banyak calorie count dia. #dietfreaktapibukandietpunsebenarnye

so while waiting for the burger to defrost a bit, encik husband help me around the kitchen asah pisau. ye ye, im lazy like that , that my own pisau pun i tak asah until i have to do it jugak la. entah la, dah macam terbiasa plak encik husband tukang asah pisau and haaa, lagi satu, isi air dalam ice cube tray tu....hahaha...i punya tahap kemalasan yang amat melampu, dua benda tu je ha. oh lagi satu bab basuh toilet but we girls dont mention that isn't it?

lepas makan, take a rest for awhile, then we went for a jog. it's been a while since our last jog together. i do a bit of circuit training and on treadmill tapi encik husband tu biasalah dia. so we all decided to have our jogging session. siap-siap and off we go.

sampai je i terus cakap dengan ecik husband, "b, i nak run for 1 hour tau. u jangan stop...". dia jeling i dengan pandangan yang tajam. cis, dia ingat i tak mampu. fine! we'll see siapa yang tertinggal jauh kat belakang. i ran and ran and ran until im out of breath. masa tu dah halfway, lebih kurang 1.5KM. so i had another 1.5KM to go. dammit. mana boleh i mengaku kalah.

tapiii...masa tu muscle i dah senak. eh ade ke muscle senak?  but i just continued until dalam 300m nak sampai kat parking bay, i stopped. i had to stopped. hehehe....not because im tired but i stopped because i want to look around the scenery and the night view was just mesmerizing. you know what i mean right??

heee.....anyway, it was definitely a fun run. did a lil bit of cool down then balik. on the way back, we listened to a couple of my selection of songs our favourite songs, happily and energetic of we were that time. i guess when we really put our mind into it, things will eventually happen.

actually we were supposed to have our night run on monday, tapi monday tu encik husbank balik lambat so terpaksa cancel sebab by the time we finished our home cook dinner, dah nak pukul 10.20pm. abistu, kul bape nak habis jog , kan?? i know we were supposed to go, sekejap je pun dalam one hour, tapi sebab kitorang kan first timer after so long rehat, takut jugak tengah-tengah lari tu terpejam terus tido kat situ. hahahaha..... dah tua-tua ni banyak kemungkinan...gitewwww.....

balik je, cuba teka kitorang buat apa??haa......basuh toilet. boleh??? *hentak dahi kat dinding* penat wehhhhh....kena buli plak basuh toilet. i pun apa lagi, purposely buat-buat lambat, angkat kain dulu la...buat exercise perut la kat depan tv, hahaha.... last-last kena jugak. but alhamdulilah apparently tangan i luka sebab kena paper cut #perghhgediktakhengatminahnie so i ambil alih tugas sembur air je. but last night was damn cold, pergh diri kaku jela i sembur air. encik husband tukang sental-sental.

rasa kalau ada yang read dah tau sangat perangai tahap kebersihan encik husband dah macam OCD dah. i rasa toilet tu biasa je, takdelah kotor sangat. ntah apa dia dengki sangat tengok bathroom i. sebok nak sental malam-malam tu jugak pukul 12 am apakah nasib i seorang isteri .

tau-tau in between i dah cranky. hahahaha i ni memang tak boleh. if i feel a bit tired, mulah la i diam seribu bahasa pastu cranky macam dah taknak gurau la. dia kacau i ape ntah pastu i jawab, "ha jangann lahh....kita penat ni....". pastu dia jawab... "haaa cranky la tu...dah penat kan...". ehh la tauuu....dok kacau ceq wat pa....hahaha.

tapi lepas mandi terus segar bugar. hahahaha....siap pasang a chance of a cloudy meatballs 2 lagi siap makan kerepek. entah bila i tertido pun i tak tau. tau-tau encik husband kejut suh masuk bilik. ada patut kejut sesekali dukung la bawak masuk .

but we really do had a great day and it was fun. sometimes being just the two of us is good. but if sophea is around, it will just be great. great is better than good. oh i miss that cheeky little girl!

Sophea's Update

die kan, bila nak update jer niat tu kuat betul. but by the time nak update tu memang ke laut. nasib la ade orang tu suka sangat suruh i update. tak putus2 request suh update blog. tapi i syak la dia sebenarnye perli i, i je buat2 jujur, yang dia memang nak baca blog i. kita sebagai orang islam kan tak baik buruk sangka. wahahaha....padahal memang dah takde orang nak baca kak. tutup jela blog ni.

tapi....tak kisahla. sebenanrnya, in real life pun i memang jenis talkative. mak mertua pun kadang2 dia cakap "sophea macam mommy banyak cakap...". i rasa dia perli tu,suh  bawak2 berkurang kan bercakap, tapi.... he he he...that's not me...not me at all... *flip hair*

tapi i ni kalau diam seribu bahasa, maksudnya adalah yang tak kena. adalah orang yang i tak suka berada dalam radius 10 meter dari i, atau i simply dont want to talk. ada sekali tu i balik rumah mertua, nampak newspaper. i opened it and read it through. seronok la baca paper sebab dah lama sangat tak baca. sekali encik husband datang "sayang...tutup dulu paper tu. nanti mama kata menantu sombong taknak bercakap plak..". terkedu i. terus tutup and chirp around happily. hahaha.... kuang asam punya suami.

so nak update ape kita sebenarnye. update pasal sophea jom!

sophea 31 january ni genap dia 8 bulan. setakat 8 bulan ni apa yang dia dah pandai:

1. she talks a lot! i mean like a lot for baby her age. haha....i wonder dia ikot siapa. ada sekali tu nak dekat 15 minutes dia cakap non stop. well, not literally cakap, but yeah..she talked in her own language.. but me and encik husband sekalu jer terhibur with what she's trying to say. we love it and cherished them so much!

2. she knows how to clap her hands. ni rasanya kena ucap terima kasih kat mak mertua sebab dia yang ajar sophea tepuk amai-amai. mommy biasalah bawak balik rumah terus "sophea...clap your hands!!". hahaha...tapi paham plak anak aku ni. and she will clap her hand repetitively. tapi ikut mood dia la. kalau dia rajin dia buat.

3. she knows when i asked her to kiss me. for example macam, "sophea...kiss mommy...kiss mommy sayang..". pastu dia bagi dahi dia kat i. -_______-. tapi kita macam happy la kan sebab baby kita dah pandai response. so actually, our babies ni listen but they couldn't response (yet). so keep talking and show her things, nanti dia akan buat jugak.

4. she responses to my instruction. ni i baru buat experiment sekali jer. she picked a towel, so i asked her to put it back. and yup! she put it back...awwww....i tiap kali cakap ke suruh sophea buat ke, bila dia respon tu i macam melt-melt jer. she's just adorable..... haihhh

5. she still need to be put to sleep. ehh...macam kejam jer bunyik. i mean, i need to carry her, and hug her sampai dia tidur. kalau dia dah half tidur pun i dah boleh letak dia on her bad. dulu masa kecik-kecik tak boleh. letak je nangis. now she big girl already. sobs sobs...

6. she exciteds more when she sees her daddy. entah kenapa...kalau dengan daddy senang je nak senyum gelak borak2. kalau dengan mommy dia buat sukati dia jer. i know she loves me but she loves her daddy more??bzzzzzz..... mommy yang mengandungkan awak tau sophea!

alhamdulilah, i really can't describe how happy and calm i am now. dah takde apa untuk i fikir lagi especially lepas kahwin haritu (haritu ape...dah nak masuk 2 tahun okay...hahah). sekarang my life memang fully untuk husband and anak i. i just wanted to make them happy, and that they are happy with me around. banyak plan i nak buat dengan encik husband. on how to improve life, our lifestyle, our health, making money, take care of kids and stuff. rasa semua macam tu kot?

maybe our life is not perfect for you, but seriously i couldnt ask for more. it is just too perfect that at some moment i jadi takut, kalau Allah amik balik pinjaman Dia. we all know that this is only a loan from God right? i know...

but always remember things happen for a reason... just be happy :)

Penggoda

i really dont know about other people who already married. did you guys play around a lot with your spouse?? i mean like really fool around the house (err...not in a kinky way of course...i wouldnt dare to know...hahaha) with your husband? coz mannn....i really did get teased around pretty much.

especially time tengah mandi. tak kira la subuh ke, malam ke, pukul 2 3 pagi ke, encik husband tersangatlah 'rajinnnnnnnye' nak jugakkk tutup lampu bathroom i bila i'm taking my shower.. i mean, guys...did you really 'enjoy' that moment huh? listening to your wife's screaming in a middle of a night?? ishh...tak paham.

pastu if i were doin my thing, seboklah jerit dari luar, "baby....buat ape tewww...??". rasa nak jawab je, "masak sayang..." tapi kang dia kata i isteri derhaka plak. hehehe....selalu i jawab "adelah....sebok jer...". pastu i senyum-senyum sebab terfikir apelah husband i ni, sebok nak tau...ke tak boleh berjauhan ke ape... hehehe...

tu okay lagi. masa awal-awal kahwin dulu, tangan i memang dah standby je nak tapek die sekali. apekan tidak, i keluar bilik, dia tengah cangkung depan bathroom. dah kenapa?? memang niat hati dia tu nak terkejutkan i la tu. sah-sah la memang kita terkejut sebab lepas mandi, would you ever once concern on what is happening outside of your bedroom?? tak la kan...mesti la kite fikir takde orang and aman damai je. sekali ada orang duk mencangkung depan bathroom u, haruslahh rasa nak tapek... nasib i tak sepak je. hahaha.... tapi kalau niat memang nak sepak ngaku la nanti ter-sepak. hahaha...puas hati.

tapiiiiiiiiii................

itu kalau kat rumah, kalau dalam kereta jangan harap la. it's my turn bebeh. yela kan, encik husband kan driving, makanya, bermewah-mewahan la i dalam kereta. cocok pinggang dia kan (please don't do this, bahaya actually), joget2 depan dia ke. nyanyi2 sekuat hati ke.

selalu encik husband buat muka sardin jer. malu agaknya dapat wife tak berapa nak matang. atau pun dia geleng-geleng kepala. tak pun dia cakap, "b...orang sebelah nampak la..". merujuk kepada kereta sebelah.

bukan tak matang, it just that, i am being me, and i love to tease him as much he likes to tease me. so same-same la kan? hehehe...

ohh i remember, masa mula-mula kahwin banyaklah adegan panas dalam kereta, hahaha....well, dah halal kan. dulu masa tak halal jauh2 je la. tapi takde la panas mana pun. saje gurau-gurau. sekali kereta sebelah tu ternampak ke skodeng kitorang ke entah la. bila stop kat traffic light, dua-dua orang kat dalam kereta tu pandang kitorang. sekali tahu encik husband buat apa. dia pandang balik kereta sebelah tu, pastu gerak kan kepala dia macam, "ha, apsal? ada hutang?" sambil senyum kat orang sebelah tu. hahaha...orang sebelah tu senyum balik pastu tak pandang dah.

hahahaha.....gila taiko. dahla kau yang buat adegan panas mengundang, pastu kau nak sound dia balik. ha ha ha bagus perangai. but we had a good laugh about it. sampai sekarang kalau teringat balik mesti nak tergelak. ha ha ha.... kitorang ni memang...perangai dah macam ape ntah.

and selalu jugak i tanya dia soalan bonus. ala....perempuan kan suka tanya, "u sayang i tak?". rasa dalam sehari paling tak pun sekali mesti tanya. agaknya kalau sophea tu boleh jawab , dia jawab camni kot, " mommy....agak-agak la. dah la daddy dengan mommy dah 9 tahun, dah dapat sophea pun boleh tanya lagi...". hahaha....tak kiwe.... sukati mommy la.

ada once tu i tanya dia, "despite what had happened, u rasa menyesal tak kahwin dengan i...".

pastu encik husband jawab sambil pandang muka i, "not even once i.......". pastu i tak dengar dah la seterusnya sebab i dah busy angkat barang2 from boot kereta. dah jadi mak-mak ni, nak romantic pun halfway jer. banyak lagi kerja nak selesaikan.

ha ha ha.

Rindu Sangat

semalam pergi makan kat bumbu desa alamanda tu. tak ramai orang pun. baguslah. bukan bagus sebab apa, tapi sebab i buruk selekeh paling tak hengat punyer, so takde la nampak ke-buruk-kan i tu. berbeza dengan encik husband yang head to toe sangatlah handsome. dia dahlah pakai baju baru yang i awesome-ly iron untuk dia. i wonder dia tak rasa ke macam "selekeh gila wife aku!". dahla semalam i buruk, life plak rasa miserable sangat, dengan tak bawak handbag. tau tak ape je yang ada kat tangan i? handphone dengan powerbank. tak ke buruk rupenye? encik husband always look awesomely handsome and tough through my eyes. entahlah, sebab kita cintakan dia kot, tu yang nampak hensem semedang jer.

cuba kalau benci, bayang2 dia pun nampak hodoh. kan?hahaha....

somehow, spending the night just the two us, it helps to put my worries at ease. betul lah orang cakap, dah kahwin ni, gunakanlah suami sebaik mungkin. bukan sebagai account banker sahaja, tapi sebagai kaunselor kita jugak. walaupun..... ha walaupun actually they dont help much hahaha, but the fact kite dah luahkan everything, permasalahan kita, is good enough. that's the beauty of marriage. and that's the benefit of having someone cares for you.

we don't get worried too much sebab dia seorang saja yang nampak buruk baiknya kita. dah nama pun isteri dia.

the fact that makan dua orang jer almost rm130++, i rasa better la makan nasi padang kat kedai indon biasa-biasa. melampau sangat. sebenarnye this was his first time makan situ. i dah banyak kali before ni, tapi i makan masa i pergi bandung. makan 5 orang tak sampai Rp300,000 which equals to RM100++ kita. murah kan? sekali kat franchise malaysia ni mahal sangat.

i is not kaya you know.

***

anyway malam tu kitorang tido rumah my MIL. dah 3 hari tak jumpa sophea, so this is the time la nak jumpa. sophea balik kampung jumpa buyut (moyang) dia.

when i was still in the car i cakap kat encik husband, "sayang....sampai je rumah mama i nak terus masuk tau. nanti you angkatkan beg k sayang?". hahaha.... tahap kedengkian taknak bagi anak kat encik husband dulu, terus bagi order awal-awal walaupun selama ni memang die je pun angkat beg. hahaha...siapa lagi nak harapkan melainkan suami kita yang handsome lagi gagah.

kete stop je meluru i masuk. dari depan gate i nampak sophea tengah minum susu dalam stroller dia. dia sangat manja dan dimanjakan sangat oleh nyai dia. minum susu pun nak dalam stroller. so i called by her name, "sophea.....sophea!". so dia terus stop susu and look around for the voice. i kow she knows that it's her mom's voice.

i bukak je grill tu, dia terus nampak i, and she was like excitedly screaming uuu ahhh uuuu in a very high pitch, waving her hands, dengan kaki dah kelam kabut. omgg....i masa tu nak nangis okay sebab i missed her so much, and yet dia bagi respons macam tu....luluh2 jantung i. but tak boleh challenge when daddy came in, lagi excited dia jerit-jerit. macam, "my parents is here!!!".

i dokong dia, and she was like kaki dia panjat2 i, and she hugged me tightly. mind you, she's still small and i might exaggerate a lil bit, but if you ever have the same experience macam i, you tau la yang anak you was so happy to see us, the parents.

so lama la i dokong dia, ciom2 dia before i took my shower.

by 11pm macam tu she's sleepy. dokong2 dia sambil borak dengan both MIL and FIL, tiba2 sophea's sleeping on my chest. just like she used to when she was a baby. the feelings were great. truly said, i am happy to be a mother and i am so a proud mommy.

malam tu sophea tido je. dua kali bangun for her regular time for milk, sampai pagi tadi i nak pergi kerja pun dia tak bangun lagi. rasa secure maybe having mommy and daddy tidur sekali.

fyi, i have been with sophea for almost one month, kan sebab i habiskan my leaves so lama gila i dengan dia kat umah. so bila dah start 2014 ni, and dah start jumpa dia alternate days, rindu sangat dengan budak bolat tu.

haihhh...only a mother can understand.

anyway, esok malam dah amik dia balik pun. tak sabar nak spend the weekend with my babies. the best moment so far ialah bila kita dibangunkan oleh suara anak kita yang awal-awal dah bangun dulu dari kita. and bila kita celik mata je, i nampak my husband and sophea by myside. *senyum*

the feelings is just bliss. i feel so complete. *lap air mata*

Negative Vibes

tadi tengah kemas-kemas pendrive. ha ha ha pendrive pun nak kemas. panggggg sekali! yela...dah document semua berterabur dalam tu, haruslah kan kemas masuk susun dalam folder cantik-cantik. then masa kemas-kemas tu terjumpe la satu document. document tu la puncanya ada titik hitam dalam hati i ni. hurmm... titik hitam tu bukan sebab perasaan dendam ke ape. titik hitam tu macam satu benda paling buruk pernah berlaku dalam hidup i. kira macam, sepanjang i hidup, itulah 'benda' yang paling mengecewakan. and it hurts so bad that i decided to leave malaysia for good. and truly said, i'm not over it totally. i tau kita patut let go for good things to come our way, but i just cant. lagi2 especially when im all alone atau dengar lagu sedih, kata-kata yang menghancurkan hati i lingering in my mind. and yes, setiap kali teringat bulu roma i akan berdiri, thinking it 'that' thing happen again, what else would i do?

leave malaysia for good? maybe i will. and i bring sophea sekali. that would be nice eh growing up in suburbs of wales, or london. ehehehe.... can go shopping what. he he he... i just hope and pray that people will always keep their promises.

***

oh semalam encik husband konvo. being a wife, i always been proud with him. entahlah, knowing that he is always passionate for the job, and do things accordingly, i just hope in 10 years time dia dapat gelaran datuk. wahh...tinggi kan angan-angan. yela, if he become datuk, i go shopping. hahahah.... nampak tak permainan dia kat situ? haahaha....

i always proud to be his wife, always proud whenever he touches my hand and hold it tight. siapa yang tak suka bila dia rasa disayangi. siapa? semua suka. me too.... macam pagi tadi, dahla bangun lambat, but he kept holding my hand, hugged me tightly, padahal mata i laju je tengok jam pukul berapa dia nak bangun dari katil. but still i dont want to paksa him bangun, sebab helloooo...siapa plak suka tengah tidur kena kejut kan?? slow slow la. pastu nak golek-golek peluk2 kat katil. pastu nanti bising2 lambat...hahaha...cute tapi annoying. padahal dia yang buat lambat tu... hahaha...

i tak tau la perasaan dia kat i camne setelah nak masuk 2 tahun kahwin ni.but for me, my feelings for him still going strong. in fact, it getting stronger when sophea came into the picture. i see him, my beloved husband more like our life's line, as our protector. he, has the biggest influence in our lives. i just feel safe whenever im with him.

i'm sure sophea feel the same way too. *senyum*

hahaha...tetiba nak feeling cinta plak. ni mesti kes tertengok document yang penuh sejarah hitam tu. whenever i picture.............. ok im tired with all these. why la benda ni jadi kat aku??? kalau la boleh basuh brain kite nie so that i cannot remember any of these bullshit kan bagus. sakit otak jugakla sebenarnye.. orang maybe cakap, "ala kau je selalu pikir2...teringat2..memang la sakit hati..". memang la, but hello...it's there. in my BRAIN! that is what we called MEMORY. we can't delete the memories.

mood dah ke laut ni. haihhh.... baru nak stay positive. half day je dapat?? hahaha...

***

dah la. i just want to have a happy life. i dont need people who dont stay the same path with me. they can go if they dont like to stay in my route, the route to happiness. i want. i do really want. having loving husband who loves me and the babies. i really2 want it.

so ya Allah, sentiasa kurniakan kebahagiaan buat aku dan suami serta anak2. panjangkan jodoh kami sehingga ke syurga. permudahakn segala urusan kami di dunia dan juga akhirat. amin. insyaallah.