The ease

still on holiday. but too much of holidays could be the reason of stress. hahaha...ade ke? ade ke yang stress bila holiday and dapat gaji at the same time? maybe for someone who is workaholic, it could stress him/her out. actually i suka la sangat cuti, but this cuti lebih kepada 'standby'. anytime the management can call me and said, " please report your duty to the management tommorow'. ha nampak? habis tu camne nak pergi cuti kan? tu yang stress nye. kalau dia cakap " you are on leave until december 2014 " haruslah iolss dah pergi cuti. hahaha....

but anyway, class master dah start. as much as i enjoying myself attending the classes, the thought of having tests and exams are killing me, literally my mood. haihh... can we just make it like attending courses and tadaa..." you are a MSc holder..". err...i know life cannot be that simple. whateves...

since my MIL is away for Hajj, and luckily im still on leave, so baby sophea i la jaga. and since my classes are held in city campus, takkan i nak drive all the way from my home back and forth kan. penat lagi (i enjoy driving once i awhile) masa minyak etc etc. but i still hold on to pepatah orang2 tua, "bersusah-susah dulu, bersenang2 kemudian..".

husband has been so nice to me. dah lama tak cerita pasal dia kan? sejak dia naik pangkat, he has been busy with all his works, and i don't mind at all al long as dia balik. lepas naik pangkat lagi banyak dia outstation. lucky me hari tu dapat follow dia pergi jepun, la ni tengok la pergi zimbabwe ke mana i nak ikot jugak...teehee...

ahh talking about me pursuing my master and not be able to help around the house much, husband sangat la helpful. he washed the clothes, hang them and even folding the bajus. and he dont even complain! cuma dia cakap dia rindu nak i masak untuk dia. i guess i nak masak la weekend ni untuk dia. i miss waking up very early in the morning during weekend while husband and baby sophea are still sleeping, and i kemas the whole house, and even done my cooking.

sometimes when i jenguk into our room, my two babies are playing happily entah apa dia borak dengan daddy dia. gelak2 la ape. sometimes one of them je dah bangun (guess who??mestila si kecik dah panjat2 daddy dia). and sometimes both of them tak bangun lagi. waking them up with hugs and kisses. and then breakfast together. rindu sangat...

sekarang weekend pun ade class. sobs...

how lucky i am to have such an understanding and considerate and loveable husband. i couldn't agree more and couldn't even think what had i done in the past to be blessed with such a wonderful husband. he makes me love him even more and makes me want him in every second of my life.

i just hope Allah will ease everything. and make us grow closer and fonder to each other. oklah nak google recipe!!

Lelaki Sempurna

Lelaki yang sempurna di mata saya haruslah encik husband. duhh...kalau orang selain selain encik husband yang sempurna, itu dah jadi lain. hikhikhik.... so sebenarnye entry ni untuk saya. tapi yelah, yang baca blog ni pun diri sendiri...haha so tak kisahlah nak cerita apa pun kan.

entry ni memang berkisar pasal kebaikan lelaki yang bernama encik husband saya. dari mula bercinta sampailah dah kahwin and dah ade sophea, he is still the perfect man i could ever had. pernah jugak terdetik kat hati sendiri, "what did i do to be deserve such a great man to be my husband?".

so ingat yer puan farah, kalau rasa2 sakit hati dengan suami sendiri, sila la baca balik entry ni, and kenapa sebab satu je salah dia buat, u decided to hate him forever. bawak-bawak lah bertenang and recape back all the good things he had done for you, for sophea, your family and everything else.

1. dari zaman bercinta sampai sekarang, tak pernah penat encik husband melayan kerenah i yang sukaaaaa sangat tanya, "do you love me syg?". out of nowhere and out of bloe, when the question popped in my head, terus tanya. kadang-kadang tengah bayar food dekat cashier pun boleh tanya. nonsense kan?? tapi benda yang random ni la i suka tanya. kang kat opis tersenyum sendiri bila lalu depan toilet encik husband pun i boleh jerit dari luar tanya, "daddyy...u sayang i ke tak?". heee

2. i tak suka sangat kalau encik husband bukak kan pintu kereta or tarikkan kerusi nak duduk. once in a while kalau pergi fine dining tu boleh la, tapi selalunya i tak kisah pun. lambat la nak tunggu dia tarikkan kerusi, penat nak duduk cepat. hahaha...tapi i suka sangat kalau pergi jalan-jalan dia bawak all the plastic and paper bags. hahaha... and selalu dia buat la. especially lepas bersalin ni tangan i ada something wrong skit dekat wrist. so selalu dia jela bawak. i lenggang kangkung.

3. masa dah kahwin ni encik husband suka kiss i. i pun sama la jugak. kadang2 kat depan pintu grill, dalam lift, dalam kereta, tak kira masa nak kiss jer. bukan french kiss ok..kiss pipi ke. entah. bau sedap pun yer jugak...hahaha... i rasa rindu jer tiap masa. and dia pun okay je, takde plak bagi pelempang satu das sebab ciom die kan. selalu lepas solat i doa semoga jodoh kekal sampai syurga.

4. encik husband sangat rajin. and details dan particular orangnya. lagi pembersih dari i. and dia tak berkira pun nak kemas pape dengan i. i yang berkira. nanti cakap penat la. i dah buat tu la. dah buat ni la. hahaha...so selalu dia la kene buli. kadang2 kesian jugak sebab dia mesti penat, tapi takpe lah. bukak selalu pun.

5. dia selalu ingatkan i pasal solat. hahaha....i ni suka ngelat sikit. i rasa lepas i kahwin graf solat i ni meningkat dengan jayanya. lagipun, lepas dapat apa yang kita hajat (macam happy married, kids and work), wajib la rasa bersyukur. bawak-bawak la ber-insaf sikit. hihihi...well it's a good thing kan??

6. tak berkira pasal duit. and i pun takde la amik kesempatan mintak bagai. walaupun haritu i mintak die beli pandora, tiba2 i kena saman (mcm tau2 je PDRM ni la), encik husband kata bye2 pandora. i is the very sedih. eh melalut lak citer. i rasa lelaki zaman sekarang susah nak cari yang macam ni. ada duit tapi berkira, takde duit tapi berkira takpela jugak. dah jadi tanggungjawab kot suami. tapi isteri pun berpada-pada la kan. so far barang2 i, barang sophea especially, he's quite alright. i hope dia akan ingat tanggungjawab dia sampai bila2.

7. sangat manja. he can't sleep when im not beside him. rasa suami yang dah kahwin macam tu. gaduh macam mana tetaplah nak peluk time tidur. well, kita perempuan haruslah suka, rasa nak menggedik time tu, and rasa di sayang-sayang jer. hahaha...

8. kalau i ada masalah, dia selalu jadi tukang dengar. and dia suka bagi komen. but thank god komen dia selalu sekepala dengan i. yelah kan, kita ada masalah kang dia bagi komen lain macam tak ke buat gaduh. but he's alright.

9. always there when im in need (read: sms/whatsapp). i memang takleh dia tinggal senyap barang sejam sekalipun. menggugup i cari dia. and kalau dia lambat reply, or whatasapp ada record bila last dia online kan, ha bukak watsapp pastu tak reply, memang hangin. dia pun dah masak dengan perangai i. tak perlu panjang, just to make sure that he still there and alive, it would be more than enough.

10. banyak lagi tapi last point, the love he showered for both me and sophea is just perfect. he loves his daughter so much and i can see that. masa pregnant dia macam endah tak endah jer, tapi once she's out, yup.... daddy's here!! lagi2 masa i pantang, seboleh2 nak sediakan yang terbaik untuk i and sophea. i will always remember that. takkan lupa sampai bila2.

10 jela dulu k...kang lebih2 muntah sendiri. hihi..... but yeah, semua orang ada pasangan perfect dia sendiri. but my prince charming, perfect in his own way. takkan i jumpa lelaki sebaik dia, yang can take a very good care of me and sophea, and respect my family and for everything i have. intelligent and smart, and got his own aura.

kalau setiap pagi tengok dia siap pergi kerja pastu i bebel2 sebab hensem sangat tu aura apa tu?? bukan aura dia, itu aura sendiri yang mengada. hahaha....

ps: so farah, always remember, manusia can never be perfect. but u already found your perfect prince charming. and why don't you be thankful and try to be the best for him?

running man

when sophea is not around (read: following her nenek jalan etc), basically husband and i will use all the time to...erm...you know, cherish each other as much as we could. in our own way of course. meaning, doing crazy things and trying to hurt each other (physically).

encik husband selalu je cakap, "hello sayang...awak tu mak orang tau....anak dah satu...cuba behave sikit..". well, that doesn't turn me down on doing things i like the most ;  teasing him. but by the time i want to write these down, i came to the end of the road. maaf lah yer...bahahaha!

but semalam, i balik office a bit lambat , because i met my friend halfway back, so we were basically chirping and gossiping updating each other. i tell that sad story later. so anyway, by the time we reached home, it was already 8.30 pm. luckily we were on diet starvation mode so encik husband nak makan burger jer. diet apakah makan burger. burger la lagi banyak calorie count dia. #dietfreaktapibukandietpunsebenarnye

so while waiting for the burger to defrost a bit, encik husband help me around the kitchen asah pisau. ye ye, im lazy like that , that my own pisau pun i tak asah until i have to do it jugak la. entah la, dah macam terbiasa plak encik husband tukang asah pisau and haaa, lagi satu, isi air dalam ice cube tray tu....hahaha...i punya tahap kemalasan yang amat melampu, dua benda tu je ha. oh lagi satu bab basuh toilet but we girls dont mention that isn't it?

lepas makan, take a rest for awhile, then we went for a jog. it's been a while since our last jog together. i do a bit of circuit training and on treadmill tapi encik husband tu biasalah dia. so we all decided to have our jogging session. siap-siap and off we go.

sampai je i terus cakap dengan ecik husband, "b, i nak run for 1 hour tau. u jangan stop...". dia jeling i dengan pandangan yang tajam. cis, dia ingat i tak mampu. fine! we'll see siapa yang tertinggal jauh kat belakang. i ran and ran and ran until im out of breath. masa tu dah halfway, lebih kurang 1.5KM. so i had another 1.5KM to go. dammit. mana boleh i mengaku kalah.

tapiii...masa tu muscle i dah senak. eh ade ke muscle senak?  but i just continued until dalam 300m nak sampai kat parking bay, i stopped. i had to stopped. hehehe....not because im tired but i stopped because i want to look around the scenery and the night view was just mesmerizing. you know what i mean right??

heee.....anyway, it was definitely a fun run. did a lil bit of cool down then balik. on the way back, we listened to a couple of my selection of songs our favourite songs, happily and energetic of we were that time. i guess when we really put our mind into it, things will eventually happen.

actually we were supposed to have our night run on monday, tapi monday tu encik husbank balik lambat so terpaksa cancel sebab by the time we finished our home cook dinner, dah nak pukul 10.20pm. abistu, kul bape nak habis jog , kan?? i know we were supposed to go, sekejap je pun dalam one hour, tapi sebab kitorang kan first timer after so long rehat, takut jugak tengah-tengah lari tu terpejam terus tido kat situ. hahahaha..... dah tua-tua ni banyak kemungkinan...gitewwww.....

balik je, cuba teka kitorang buat apa??haa......basuh toilet. boleh??? *hentak dahi kat dinding* penat wehhhhh....kena buli plak basuh toilet. i pun apa lagi, purposely buat-buat lambat, angkat kain dulu la...buat exercise perut la kat depan tv, hahaha.... last-last kena jugak. but alhamdulilah apparently tangan i luka sebab kena paper cut #perghhgediktakhengatminahnie so i ambil alih tugas sembur air je. but last night was damn cold, pergh diri kaku jela i sembur air. encik husband tukang sental-sental.

rasa kalau ada yang read dah tau sangat perangai tahap kebersihan encik husband dah macam OCD dah. i rasa toilet tu biasa je, takdelah kotor sangat. ntah apa dia dengki sangat tengok bathroom i. sebok nak sental malam-malam tu jugak pukul 12 am apakah nasib i seorang isteri .

tau-tau in between i dah cranky. hahahaha i ni memang tak boleh. if i feel a bit tired, mulah la i diam seribu bahasa pastu cranky macam dah taknak gurau la. dia kacau i ape ntah pastu i jawab, "ha jangann lahh....kita penat ni....". pastu dia jawab... "haaa cranky la tu...dah penat kan...". ehh la tauuu....dok kacau ceq wat pa....hahaha.

tapi lepas mandi terus segar bugar. hahahaha....siap pasang a chance of a cloudy meatballs 2 lagi siap makan kerepek. entah bila i tertido pun i tak tau. tau-tau encik husband kejut suh masuk bilik. ada patut kejut sesekali dukung la bawak masuk .

but we really do had a great day and it was fun. sometimes being just the two of us is good. but if sophea is around, it will just be great. great is better than good. oh i miss that cheeky little girl!

Penggoda

i really dont know about other people who already married. did you guys play around a lot with your spouse?? i mean like really fool around the house (err...not in a kinky way of course...i wouldnt dare to know...hahaha) with your husband? coz mannn....i really did get teased around pretty much.

especially time tengah mandi. tak kira la subuh ke, malam ke, pukul 2 3 pagi ke, encik husband tersangatlah 'rajinnnnnnnye' nak jugakkk tutup lampu bathroom i bila i'm taking my shower.. i mean, guys...did you really 'enjoy' that moment huh? listening to your wife's screaming in a middle of a night?? ishh...tak paham.

pastu if i were doin my thing, seboklah jerit dari luar, "baby....buat ape tewww...??". rasa nak jawab je, "masak sayang..." tapi kang dia kata i isteri derhaka plak. hehehe....selalu i jawab "adelah....sebok jer...". pastu i senyum-senyum sebab terfikir apelah husband i ni, sebok nak tau...ke tak boleh berjauhan ke ape... hehehe...

tu okay lagi. masa awal-awal kahwin dulu, tangan i memang dah standby je nak tapek die sekali. apekan tidak, i keluar bilik, dia tengah cangkung depan bathroom. dah kenapa?? memang niat hati dia tu nak terkejutkan i la tu. sah-sah la memang kita terkejut sebab lepas mandi, would you ever once concern on what is happening outside of your bedroom?? tak la kan...mesti la kite fikir takde orang and aman damai je. sekali ada orang duk mencangkung depan bathroom u, haruslahh rasa nak tapek... nasib i tak sepak je. hahaha.... tapi kalau niat memang nak sepak ngaku la nanti ter-sepak. hahaha...puas hati.

tapiiiiiiiiii................

itu kalau kat rumah, kalau dalam kereta jangan harap la. it's my turn bebeh. yela kan, encik husband kan driving, makanya, bermewah-mewahan la i dalam kereta. cocok pinggang dia kan (please don't do this, bahaya actually), joget2 depan dia ke. nyanyi2 sekuat hati ke.

selalu encik husband buat muka sardin jer. malu agaknya dapat wife tak berapa nak matang. atau pun dia geleng-geleng kepala. tak pun dia cakap, "b...orang sebelah nampak la..". merujuk kepada kereta sebelah.

bukan tak matang, it just that, i am being me, and i love to tease him as much he likes to tease me. so same-same la kan? hehehe...

ohh i remember, masa mula-mula kahwin banyaklah adegan panas dalam kereta, hahaha....well, dah halal kan. dulu masa tak halal jauh2 je la. tapi takde la panas mana pun. saje gurau-gurau. sekali kereta sebelah tu ternampak ke skodeng kitorang ke entah la. bila stop kat traffic light, dua-dua orang kat dalam kereta tu pandang kitorang. sekali tahu encik husband buat apa. dia pandang balik kereta sebelah tu, pastu gerak kan kepala dia macam, "ha, apsal? ada hutang?" sambil senyum kat orang sebelah tu. hahaha...orang sebelah tu senyum balik pastu tak pandang dah.

hahahaha.....gila taiko. dahla kau yang buat adegan panas mengundang, pastu kau nak sound dia balik. ha ha ha bagus perangai. but we had a good laugh about it. sampai sekarang kalau teringat balik mesti nak tergelak. ha ha ha.... kitorang ni memang...perangai dah macam ape ntah.

and selalu jugak i tanya dia soalan bonus. ala....perempuan kan suka tanya, "u sayang i tak?". rasa dalam sehari paling tak pun sekali mesti tanya. agaknya kalau sophea tu boleh jawab , dia jawab camni kot, " mommy....agak-agak la. dah la daddy dengan mommy dah 9 tahun, dah dapat sophea pun boleh tanya lagi...". hahaha....tak kiwe.... sukati mommy la.

ada once tu i tanya dia, "despite what had happened, u rasa menyesal tak kahwin dengan i...".

pastu encik husband jawab sambil pandang muka i, "not even once i.......". pastu i tak dengar dah la seterusnya sebab i dah busy angkat barang2 from boot kereta. dah jadi mak-mak ni, nak romantic pun halfway jer. banyak lagi kerja nak selesaikan.

ha ha ha.

Rindu Sangat

semalam pergi makan kat bumbu desa alamanda tu. tak ramai orang pun. baguslah. bukan bagus sebab apa, tapi sebab i buruk selekeh paling tak hengat punyer, so takde la nampak ke-buruk-kan i tu. berbeza dengan encik husband yang head to toe sangatlah handsome. dia dahlah pakai baju baru yang i awesome-ly iron untuk dia. i wonder dia tak rasa ke macam "selekeh gila wife aku!". dahla semalam i buruk, life plak rasa miserable sangat, dengan tak bawak handbag. tau tak ape je yang ada kat tangan i? handphone dengan powerbank. tak ke buruk rupenye? encik husband always look awesomely handsome and tough through my eyes. entahlah, sebab kita cintakan dia kot, tu yang nampak hensem semedang jer.

cuba kalau benci, bayang2 dia pun nampak hodoh. kan?hahaha....

somehow, spending the night just the two us, it helps to put my worries at ease. betul lah orang cakap, dah kahwin ni, gunakanlah suami sebaik mungkin. bukan sebagai account banker sahaja, tapi sebagai kaunselor kita jugak. walaupun..... ha walaupun actually they dont help much hahaha, but the fact kite dah luahkan everything, permasalahan kita, is good enough. that's the beauty of marriage. and that's the benefit of having someone cares for you.

we don't get worried too much sebab dia seorang saja yang nampak buruk baiknya kita. dah nama pun isteri dia.

the fact that makan dua orang jer almost rm130++, i rasa better la makan nasi padang kat kedai indon biasa-biasa. melampau sangat. sebenarnye this was his first time makan situ. i dah banyak kali before ni, tapi i makan masa i pergi bandung. makan 5 orang tak sampai Rp300,000 which equals to RM100++ kita. murah kan? sekali kat franchise malaysia ni mahal sangat.

i is not kaya you know.

***

anyway malam tu kitorang tido rumah my MIL. dah 3 hari tak jumpa sophea, so this is the time la nak jumpa. sophea balik kampung jumpa buyut (moyang) dia.

when i was still in the car i cakap kat encik husband, "sayang....sampai je rumah mama i nak terus masuk tau. nanti you angkatkan beg k sayang?". hahaha.... tahap kedengkian taknak bagi anak kat encik husband dulu, terus bagi order awal-awal walaupun selama ni memang die je pun angkat beg. hahaha...siapa lagi nak harapkan melainkan suami kita yang handsome lagi gagah.

kete stop je meluru i masuk. dari depan gate i nampak sophea tengah minum susu dalam stroller dia. dia sangat manja dan dimanjakan sangat oleh nyai dia. minum susu pun nak dalam stroller. so i called by her name, "sophea.....sophea!". so dia terus stop susu and look around for the voice. i kow she knows that it's her mom's voice.

i bukak je grill tu, dia terus nampak i, and she was like excitedly screaming uuu ahhh uuuu in a very high pitch, waving her hands, dengan kaki dah kelam kabut. omgg....i masa tu nak nangis okay sebab i missed her so much, and yet dia bagi respons macam tu....luluh2 jantung i. but tak boleh challenge when daddy came in, lagi excited dia jerit-jerit. macam, "my parents is here!!!".

i dokong dia, and she was like kaki dia panjat2 i, and she hugged me tightly. mind you, she's still small and i might exaggerate a lil bit, but if you ever have the same experience macam i, you tau la yang anak you was so happy to see us, the parents.

so lama la i dokong dia, ciom2 dia before i took my shower.

by 11pm macam tu she's sleepy. dokong2 dia sambil borak dengan both MIL and FIL, tiba2 sophea's sleeping on my chest. just like she used to when she was a baby. the feelings were great. truly said, i am happy to be a mother and i am so a proud mommy.

malam tu sophea tido je. dua kali bangun for her regular time for milk, sampai pagi tadi i nak pergi kerja pun dia tak bangun lagi. rasa secure maybe having mommy and daddy tidur sekali.

fyi, i have been with sophea for almost one month, kan sebab i habiskan my leaves so lama gila i dengan dia kat umah. so bila dah start 2014 ni, and dah start jumpa dia alternate days, rindu sangat dengan budak bolat tu.

haihhh...only a mother can understand.

anyway, esok malam dah amik dia balik pun. tak sabar nak spend the weekend with my babies. the best moment so far ialah bila kita dibangunkan oleh suara anak kita yang awal-awal dah bangun dulu dari kita. and bila kita celik mata je, i nampak my husband and sophea by myside. *senyum*

the feelings is just bliss. i feel so complete. *lap air mata*

Hidup Ini Indah?

Cerita payung.

tau tak, we need some major skills masa nak bukak payung? memang. ada macam guidelines on how to open your payung. tekan benda yang macam tersembul and tadaa, terbukak la payung anda. tapi mesti takde sape tau (or tulis dalam guidelines) yang masa nak tekan benda tersembul tu, kite kena tolak payung tu ke atas sikit (upper lift) so that kulit jari kita tak tersepit? ha tak de kan? benda tu kita tau through experience kan? that's why i dulu a lil bit fobia nak bukak tutup payung sebab banyak kali jari tersepit kat situ. -_________- haihh. bodoh sangat. tapi now dah pandai dah...hihi!

***

semalam, masa nak solat isyak, husband was at front, watching berita sambil makan vanilla iceream dalam cup. he offered me the icecream, but i just took a sip and NO for the rest of the icecream. look tempting tapiiii the calorie....haihh, satu jam jog okay. hahaha...i'm a calorie freak. but whatever it's my body (sebenarnya sedih sebab tak dapat makan. husband apa kisah...he looks good all the time despite boncit ke tak. cube kalau kita perempuan boncit ; horror jawapan dia).

anyway, masa i nak solat tu, i looked at our bed, and next to our bed was baby sophea's cot. and on sophea's cot, there's a pair of little red and denim shoe from 'Next'. i bought a few months back, but only managed to pakai her once.

masa i tengah pakai telekung tu, i stared at those bed and cot, and then it crossed my mind. "how on earth did i managed to get where i am now, being married and have a child?". it was so fast that i actually someone's wife, and a mother. so fast that i couldn't remembered the process and the roads to where i am now.

i have a very loving husband, who loves me with all his heart. i know that sebab he literally never leave me alone except masa nak pergi kerja, he loves to kiss me and hold my hand (or my peha...prfttt) whenever he can. and not in a naughty way, mind u. hahahha... and then, with him i have this beautiful baby. adorable and healthy baby are what matter the most.

haihh...i don't know what i have done to be deserve these irreplaceable gifts from Allah. but deep down inside i really bersyukur. not all are lucky like me, though ramai je pun yang lebih baik dari i. but at this moment, i just thanked Allah for everything. betul orang cakap, Allah bagi banyak benda kat kita, kenapa sikit pun kita tak tunduk and ikut apa yang Allah suruh.

***

i alway pray that these happiness will always follow me wherever i go. that my encik husband will always love me (and find me attractive as i grow older he he he), and that he will take care of me and our baby (or perhaps babies...next year ke mane tau...wahhh...hahaha). and that Allah will always love us and forgive us for every sins we did.

gosh, i really love both of my babies.

the feeling of wanting to be with them, and nak sentiasa peluk and ciom diorang all the time, sentiasa ada within me.

life couldn't be better. but insyaAllah getting better and better.

ps: daddy work hard sikit daddy. kitorang nak duk obersea.

Lunch

semalam balik awal. dalam 6.45 dah sampai kat station. tapi encik husband lambat plak. by 7.10 macam tu baru sampai. hrmm...lately ni encik husband teramat lah busy. nak message pun tak boleh. i mean he won't reply, or it takes him one year to reply my message. ha ha ha.... untuk mengelakkan hangin satu badan, i tak la message dia. kang tengah loving2 anje2 dia tak reply itu memang mengundang. mengundang ape? mengundang perasaan amarah. hahahaha... entah ape yang busy sangat. tapi selalu bila dia amik i tu, memang penat la kelihataanye beliau itu.

sampai rumah letak handbag, buga tag jam ape semua letak atas meja terus masuk dapur. heh.. dah nama pun isteri, makan pakai suami kena la jaga kan? semalam i masak daging paprik dengan egg salad sahaja. no rice. well, encik husband yang taknak makan nasi, so i'm okay with it. sedap plak makan egg salad semalam. terus encik husband cakap, "sayang...nanti i belikan u roti wholemeal, salad nanti u bawakkan i sandwich untuk lunch office k?". i senyum je la, dah tentu boleh jer. pastu encik husband cakap lagi, "tapi tak sempat lunch dah habis... hahaha!!". heee....selalu dah macam tu die tu.

encik husband cakap, kat office die banyak staff mat saleh, or european people la macam tu. diorang lunch memang jarang sangat keluar lunch. bukan macam orang malaysia ni. bak kata encik husband "jalan berdendai-dendai ramai2 gi beli makan bungkus dalam plastik merah ade polystrene...". hahaha...lawak gila. pagi2 kalau hantar encik husband kat ofis, ade la ramai2 perempuan jalan berdendai-dendai gi beli breakfast.

soalan encik husband, " diorang tak breakfast kat rumah ke?". i jawab la " tak sempat sayang... mane nak siapkan anak lagi...". kan?

encik husband cakap staff mat saleh tu hanya makan sebiji epal sahaja untuk lunch. sambil makan sambil buat kerja tanga diorang tu. awesome kan??

i kat office memang jarang gila turun beli makan or pegi makan. senang cerita i tak makan ataupun i makan la ape yang ada kat dalam office ni macam biskut ke oats ke. sebab i tak turun makan simply because kena menapak jauh (read:malas), lepas tu kalau makan lauk2 cedok tu, kedai dia...hrm...amat...hrmm..menyedihkan. sekarang dengan ramai orang mati kena kencing tikus, hrmm...i have to think twice.

jauh gila cerita. ha lepas masak paprik dengan egg salad tu, makan, kemas balik pinggan, lepak tengok tv. semalam jogging jugak. tapi keluar agak lambat. dalam 9.40. selalu 9.30 kitorang dah hit the road. oh oh, i sekarang minum herbal tea untuk laxative. sekali semalam sakit perut memulas2 dah macam apa. berlari cari toilet. tapi menyedihkan sampai kat toilet dua kali okay, tetiba je sakit perut tu terus hilang.

so sempat berlari.

semalam dengan kawalan nafas yang betul, and not drinking too much of water masa dinner sebelum tu, i dapat berlari sejauh 3KM tanpa ada perut cramp pun. wuhuuuuu!!!! happy gila okay. walapun ade la dalam 20seconds i stop kejap sebab penat gila, but i continued.

one of the reason because,

"if during workout u want to stop, but want to keep going at the same time, u're doing it right!!"

so itu yang i rasa semalam. encik husband dah kedepan, he never stops. kita mana boleh kalah dengan dia kan (read: he is my pembakar semangat), so i jogged back. man it does feel good. sakit2 la badan. but we felt good this morning somehow. ke tak? hahaha...

***
encik husband cakap, benda yang kitorang buat ni sangat penat. it takes time, effort, energy, and some cost. tapi it all worth it in the end. not only we will look good and feel good, tapi lately ramai sangat relative kitorang yang sakit jantung la, kidney problem la, kena dialisi, pastu ade one of my student father dia kena sakit jantung, strok and eventually died.

scary.

i mean mati memang pasti. kalau sebab mati kerana penyakit, kita dah tak amanah dalam menjaga 'harta' yang Allah pinjamkan kat kita due to what we eat and our lifestyle. kite yang sabotaj diri sendiri kan. eceh...padahal baru pergi jogging sekali je pon. hahaha...its ok. better late than never.

lagipun sekarang medical bills sangat lah mahal.

so one thing to avoid spending too much on medical bills, to have a healthy lifestyle.

malam ni dah tentu tak boleh jog sebab sophea ada. but no worries, we have circuit training.

awesome kan??

A journey

hi all.

sekarang ni me and encik husband tengah semangat nak lose weight. ha ha ha. i can't believe i said this out loud. i love cooking, encik husband loves food. well, i love food too. so in order for us to eat and have whatever food that we like, we MUST work that fat out. fat-turn-into-energy-lose weight. senang kan? ye ye, its easy to say than do. but somehow kena buat jugak.

so whenever sophea is not with us, we took the chance to have a work out day, just the two of us.

so as usual, encik husband akan amik i kat train station dalam pukul 7. then kitorang akan balik, sembahyang, masak, and have our dinner. oh oh, sekarang dinner pon dah berubah makanan dia. selalu i tak masak nasi as per requested by encik husband. kadang2 kesian i kat die, i masak jugak sebab somehow dia akan makan. mau tak kesian, tengah hari lunch makan sandwich yang i bekal kan. memang la die nak diet, tapi extreme to that extend taknak makan nasi. i takpe la, sebab i know my body and i can handle the stress (you know, tak makan nasi boleh buat stress sebab itu staple food kite kot!) quite well.

tapi dia tu. kang tetiba mengamuk tak tentu masal, atau over sensitif over stupid things, i jugak yang kene handle dia kan?? macam semalam, i masak daging satay, kangkung cili padi, telur dadar, sambal belacan, and some ulam timun. memang terliur sebab ade sambal belacan.

i can resist the nasi quite well. lagipun i masak setengah pot nasi saja. selalu satu pot kitorang dua. but since i tak makan nasi, i masak untuk dia jela. padahal awal tu dia cakap dia taknak nasi, tapi kesian okay dengan lauk camtu bagi suami makan.

and encik husband pun makan dengan gembiranya. hehehe...isteri mesti la lagi gembira kan?

then around 9.00pm camtu kitorang dah keluar siap2 nak pergi jog.

tempat yang kitorang ni jog, pergi and patah balik adelah dalam 3km. so masuk this time dah kali kedua ke tiga ntah kitorang dah pergi. first time pergi pancit habis i. second time pergi i dapat cover half. pastu dengan perut cramp nyer. so i hope lepas ni i boleh cover 1 and half which sama dengan dalam 2km macam tu.

but i think i like what we did now. i've got to spend more time with him. itu yang paling penting.

tiring??

sikit, but we had a good sleep after that. hu hu hu..... and most importantly you feel good about yourself kan?

now i miss him. so much.

Apa Itu Cinta?

if you ever ask yourself, "what is love?", can u honestly answer it straight away, or do you have to pause a lil while to gather all of your answers? cause i do it a lot, you know, pause to gather all of my answers whenever people ask me. but oh well, people dont ask me (alot) about that, hihi...it is just me who love to ask myself , "hey, what loves mean actually".lagi2 bila bergaduh dengan encik husband....hahaha! it is good sometimes to ask ourselves, macam refresh balik perasaan kita and apa maksud cinta dalam hidup kita sendiri. 'love' cannot be answered in one sentence, because in reality,  'love' takes more than just a sentence to be define.

and remember, setiap orang ada definisi cinta yang tersendiri. it does'nt matter what, as long as it's a good one.

***

honestly, sebelum kahwin, perasaan cinta itu hanyalah nafsu semata. maksudnya macam, nak dia ada dengan kita sentiasa, nak tengok muka dia hari2, nak dengar suara dia hari2. kalau tak dapat tu semua, dapat tengok gambar pun jadi la. well, itu definisi cinta untuk remaja. oh well, i've been through that era ha ha ha so i know how the teenage girls feel.

but now lepas kahwin, cinta yang i ada untuk suami i adalah jauh lebih greater that what i felt for him masa zaman remaja dulu (tak boleh la cakap zaman bercinta sebab sekarang pun bercinta jugak....ha ha ha). betul la orang cakap kalau love tu is undefined.

sebab really susah nak cakap dan susun dengan kata-kata. afterall i'm not a good writer pun. kihkihkih..

***

husband i orang cakap, bukan lelaki romantik la, but maybe romantik in his own way. dia bukan yang kalau i post something on facebook and 'like' for that instant, even worse bila i tanya, "b, u tengok tak status i kat fb?". "tak..". tu je dia jawab. luluh kan hati? padahal status tu untuk dia. tapi i kan bodoh, dah tau nak dia baca hantar la private message, whatsapp ke ape..tapi oh well perempuan, suka la jalan jauh sikit nak bagitau isi hati. ha ha ha...sekali bukan dia perasan pun. padan muka.

kadang2 jealous jugak ada kawan lelaki upload gambar wife and anak2 and stated there "my cinta hati" "nyawa dunia akhirat " la etc etc. tapi tiba2 at one point, "OMG geli la pulak..." sebab hello, obviously la semua sayang bini tapi kadang2 jealous la jugak. ha camtu la kan perasaan perempuan. entah pape kan and unpredictable.

tapi tiba2 i bersyukur plak encik husband tak camtu...ha ha ha that what makes him different from any other man than i've known. kalau tak same la die dengan lelaki lain kan.

***

he wont tell the world how much he loves me. maybe he don't love me?err...i don't know. but i just can pray and hope yang at that moment bila dia terima akad nikah tu, he will loves me for as long as we live.

but then again, after sometimes, only then i realize, being married was not about being happy and mushy2 and all that, but it is more than that.one, marriage is when we accept 'the commitment', a promise to make our other half happy. dalam erti kata lain, kahwin adalah bertujuan untuk membahagiakan orang lain. seronok ke kalau kite je bahagia dan orang lain terseksa. no right? terutama sekali bahagiakan suami i la. lepas tu follow by anak2, mak bapak sedara mare dan sebagainya.

seeing our husbands happy, his family happy, and family kita happy  dengan kehadiran kite, is what matter most. lagi2 bila dah ade sophea ni, we can see how much we are meant for them.

secondly, marriage is about understanding and tolak ansur. marriage is when two people become one. maksudnya, apa sahaja yang berlaku dalam rumah tangga tu, husband and wife la peneraju utama dalam menyelesaikan masalah tersebut. kite jangan harapkan suami je, and suami jangan harapkan isteri je. tak boleh macam tu tau. kalau nak buat perangai macam tu, lebih baik jangan kahwin, kite settle masalah kite sendiri.

tapi obviously dah namanya suami is the king of the house, banyak kata muktamad adalah dari dia. so kita isteri ikut je la. kadang2 kite rasa macam, "eiii bodohnye die nak buat camtu...", tapi trust me, at the end of the day, sebenarnya apa yang suami kita buat tu betul. entah la Allah nak tunjuk ke ape, tapi tibe2 ade perasan macam, "eh???betul jugak kan die buat camtu..". ha ha ha....

tapi having him around the house adelah yang terpenting.

macam i cakap, dia bukan reti tunjuk kasih sayang die kat i. well, maybe ada la a few here and there, tapi tak cukup bagi perempuan pentamak macam i.

maybe dengan cara dia vacuum hall i memalam buta, and vacuum sofa2 i tu menunjukkan dia sayang i, dia taknak isteri die penat2 seret2 vacuum berat tu all around the house.

maybe dengan cara dia lap2 kepala katil kitorang and lap2 tv punye meja tu menunjukkan dia sayang i, dia taknak isteri dia terbongkok2 lap meja sebab isteri dia tak berapa kuat sangat sekarang.

maybe dengan cara dia cuci toilet kitorang tu, menunjukkan dia sayang i, dia taknak isteri dia jatuh dalam toilet ke ape. tapi i nak dia tau i enjoy cuci toilet dengan i walaupun i hanya spray2 air kat wall dengan lantai je and dia buat kerja memberus.

haihhh...

kadang2 i sedih je tengok dia buat semua tu. macam i ni tak mampu pulak nak buat kerja2 tu. memang tak mampu pun sebab penat. hahahaha..... kalau tunggu i buat seminggu sekali, takpun sebulan sekali. mesti u all tak tau kan, i selalu je kena marah kat rumah tu sebab malas. eh bukan malas, suka buat kerja bertangguh. kikiki....

and i banyak main around the house. macam kalau encik husband cakap ape, ade je yang i nak lawan. ade je nak menyampuk. pastu kena marah. duhhh....encik husband tu tak boleh relax langsung, nak serius je. tau la pegawai. kat rumah pun kena pegawai ke??? prffttt!!

ok la. i nak sambung buat entri lain. mood nak update konon. *gelaktutupmulut*

2 days with her

dua hari lepas, i cuti. well, annual leave i banyak lagi rupanya (lucky me sebab when we changed management, my unused leave can be carried forward...yeay!). so monday hantar babypie cucuk 5 bulan. cried once, and then she was okay. i mean lepas cucuk, nangis sekali, and lepas tu gelak. i was like, "amboi, pura-pura sangat kan?". prftt...

i think sophea was really enjoying the mother-daughter time. i mean, she'll cry when she can't see me, contohnye i pergi dapur masak ke or pergi toilet wee wee ke. she even cried when i stand up to switch off the fan. prftt.... melampau sangat kan.

but it really melt my heart when once, i lied down next to her, and took out my phone to take our pictures together, she was really enjoying herself taking pictures with me, she smile everytime i took photo of us, she touched my face literally my cheek and mouth when taking pictures. i think she tried to play jokes on me. but she was too cute and her action just took my breath away.

and all the time she'll look at the camera, and alternately looking at me. tsk...she's just being sweet with her mommy, isn't she?

then bila dalam pukul 7pm camtu daddy balik after two days outstation. bukak je pintu, daddy said, "assalammualaikum..." (we've been practicing to wish assalammualaikum everytime she wakes up from sleep, or after a long time didn't see her). and sophea was laughing excitedly to see her daddy.

ok, memang melt away rasanye. both me and husband smile to each other to see her 'intelligent' actions. bila daddy agah2 dia pun, still she laughing excitedly. and she kept looking at her daddy. even masa both of us having our dinner together with sophea on my lap, she kept turning and tossing around to have a good look at her daddy.

my babies. owh...owhh.... *love*

lepas daddy dia balik, usually memang encik husband akan update all his work stories and we will share and update each other about the day. so baby sophea was like diligently listened to whatever things we said and talked about. i tak perasan sangat sebab encik husband yang dokong sophea and i was busy preparing to serve dinner.

but encik husband pointed this out this morning when he sent me to work. " macam semalam la, sophea dengar jer bile kite borak2 semalam...".

we were so obsessed with her, even on our way to work pun boleh scroll her pictures and videos. awww..... overly attached parents. hahaha...

esok only i can amek her at MIL's. cuti dua hari and stayed at home with her is just exciting. really you can't get enough of her. so i guess, when encik husband can give me rm2000+ per month nett, i'll stop working daddy.

promise. hahahaha!

Jeruk Pak Ali Pulau Pinang

you know last time we went to Pulau Pinang to attend encik husband's friend's wedding? yup, and it was so fun! anyway, kalau pergi penang tapi tak beli jeruk adalah bukan "visiting penang". katenye lah.

so we went to Chow Rasta to buy some of the jeruk. usually i bought the one yang ah soh or apek jual, quite cheap there, dalam half kg for rm5 kot camtu. memang murah. but this time around, since encik husband ikot, dia kate beli yang jeruk pak ali.

well, of course jeruk pak ali sangat mahal, kalau compare dengan jeruk yang ah soh or apek jual. but looking at the bright side, jeruk pak ali claimed that diorang punya jeruk lebih healthier and delicious compared to other jeruks. jeruk pak ali jual dalam half kg rm10 kot. where else jeruk chow rasta jual half kg rm5. double the price.

anyway, no doubt memang sedap and tak sakit tekak makan.

that night bila sampai rumah, i was just started to prepare our dinner when suddenly encik husband appear on my back, while holding scissors and a packet of jeruk. jeruk mangga is his favourite.after cutting the packet, encik husband took a sip of the cuka jeruk tu. and when i saw that, i straightly shouted,

 "sayang! janganlah minum air jeruk tu!!"

"kenapeeee...... tak boleh ke? " with his sad face.

"bukan tak boleh....tapi tak elok..."

then he poured the air jeruk dalam sinki. and shouted back,

"sayang! kenapa buang air jeruk tu!!"

"sayang cakap tak boleh minum....."

"memanglah tak boleh minum, tapi you buang kenapa.....?"

and with the bored look on his face, he just went off to the living room, with the packet of jeruk.

***

i mean, com'on! people will understand right, you can't drink the air jeruk, but that doesn't mean you can throw the air jeruk. semua tau kan yang air jeruk tu act as a preservative untuk jeruk tu tahan lama. that's the point jeruk boleh tahan berbulan-bulan.

so now what? we have to finish the jeruk(s) within a month?????!!?? *pengsan*

Terlajak Habis Semuanya

so yesterday was my puasa day. saje puasa sunat dan puasa ganti. tapi orang kate tak boleh sekali kan? takpela, Tuhan tahu. back from the work, encik husband fetch me quite late. kerja macam dia tu pun nak balik lambat. bukan dapat bonus 12 bulan ponnn...hahaha... tapi tu la kite panggil keikhlasan, berkhidmat untuk negara untuk rakyat. sayang, ingat kerja kerna ikhlas. jangan banyak merungut. i baca somewhere, dia cakap Allah kata kalau rezeki yang sedikit tu pun kita merungut, rezeki yang banyak pun kita akan buat benda yang sama. so, semoga murah rezeki, and that rezeki will be showered to me and baby sophea. hehehe.... i want to go London. you know that.... hehehe...

i thought of cooking sambal telur. just simple dish, sebab kitorang berdua je pon kat rumah. prfttt....macam la kalau sophea ade kat rumah boleh makan besar, makan pon tak pandai lagi...hahaha... i siap beli telur kat KKmart area ofis i tu.hahaha.....and bought a small box of cornflakes and fresh milk, untuk sahur esok konon. then, encik husband kept teasing me all the way from my office to putrajaya, asking whether i wanted to have some arabian and iranian cuisine that night.

haihhh.....i really thought we were in this together. you know, diet program. diet program i senang. no rice, no oil, no fat, no sugary drinks. yang lain boleh masuk. ni dah encik husband tetiba ajak makan nasi arab kat cyber kenapa?? kedengkian kan disitu. but, since i was am so determined, i tak makan pun nasi last night. and so do encik husband. tetiba bangga dengan dia sebab dia boleh decline nasi. hello !*waiving* encik husband? no nasi? he must took all the effort and determination to pulled it through. hahahaha..... ended up, we had lamb kebab. one meal, shared by two. tapi air bapak gelas besar sorang satu. tapi kenyang rasa nak muntah.

yang i marah sangat, sampai rumah our next activity is to go for a jog. light jog and then lift some weight. masa tu dah kul 9.00pm. i kemas2 rumah sikit, masuk bilik nampak encik husband tengah meriah2 baring kat katil. and then he said, "sayang....cube you baring kat sini..". i jeling jela, sebab i tau kalau i dah start baring, memang tak bangun nyer dah. sekali betul. dia ajak lagi and then dua2 tertido sampai pagi. dengan kipas terbukak, pintu tak tutup, lampu tak tutup, pintu toilet tak tutup. astagfirullah...tak tau la nak jadi apa kitorang ni. hahahaha...

pastu pagi2 perli i, "semalam sayang jogging ke??". kalau korang , ade rasa nak hempuk dia tak? ade, kan?i pun!! *senyum lebar* musnah harapan i nak add on calories. pfrtttttttt...benci sangat!

anyway, i terbangun kul 2 pagi tu, tutup lampu semua, basuh kain, jemur kain, masukkan pinggan and utensils dalam kabinet, lipat kain sambil tengok "whitehouse down", encik husband dah download kan. awesome gile citer tu. ade channing tatum yang sexy, so, worth watching! in between, i pause kejap and went to check encik husband. switched on the aircond, and selimutkan die, dengan tido tak berbaju. haihh...dia tu bukan boleh. kang pagi2 selsema sejuk sangat la, sakit perut la ape la. so selimutkan lah die ketat2 macam sophea kene bedung, so i pun buat yang sama kat daddy die. kiss him goodnight and went out.

tau2 dah kul 4.30am i pun buat omellete untuk sahur i. makan gosok gigi, kul 5.30am masuk tidur to encik husband. bangun pagi ni 7.30am. hahaha....i bangun awal okay, encik husband tu sebok pelok kedap2 tak bagi bangun. haihh...ofis die dekat 5 minit je pon dari rumah. tapi i pon snuggle balik kat bawah ketiak dia. bukan selalu dapat tidur berdua camni. kalau baby sophea ade, haruslah pelok baby sophea. hahaha...

malam ni katenye nak gi pasar malam. nak borong bahan mentah. yums yums!

People Change, and It's About Time

a few weeks ago i went for my friend's daughter 1st birthday party. whoahh...i passed the stage and phase of attending engagement ceremonies and weddings, and now slipped into attending baby showers and children birthday parties. hikhik..how fast time flies nowadays. motherhood. but i like it. in fact, i love it a lot! as i owned a child now, i love babies more than i can imagine. and when i see posts of babies getting abused or in bad health condition, i will be moody and sad the whole day, and even cry at the office.

sounds like a mother, much? hahaha....yeah yeah....i'm 'cengeng' like that. and i will go pestering my husband, saying "B, how can people be so mean??", "B, kenapa diorang bodoh sangat...sakit la baby tu.." , "sayang....i cried at the office sebab tengok baby kena dera...". and you know what my husband will say?

"that's why i don't watch those kind of videos....". prfffffttttt!! whatever...i don't care!

so anyway, masa kitorang tengah lepak2 makan kat birthday party tu, the abang was talking about not-meeting-his-firends-and-go-lepak thing. he said that, at his age (30), people are no longer go lepak. even the guys were already married (most of them) and they like to spend their times with their kids and families rather than go lepak with friends.heh..

 you know, i believed, that one day, everyone will eventually going through the same thing. just like him, and just like me. you know, went for school, passed high school, entered college, passed college, working world, get married, have kids, our kids getting married, got cucu, and grow old with the one you love *waive at husband*, and die. the last part is PASTI.

don't go crazy by saying, "i'm not going to get married.." or "i'm going to die aloneeee...". hahaha....no you're not! we are human. human basically doing the same thing..err....or common thing. it's either you first or me first. having you-first or me-first is not a competition by the way. but we are human. we compete.

anyway, i just wanna say how bless i am, and how thankful i am to Allah (mostly) sebab jalan yang Dia tuliskan untuk i sangat-sangat sempurna segalanya. i've been to my worst and weakest spot ever in my life that i feel there is no point of me living in this world, but alhamdulilah, Allah Maha Mendengar. and Dia tau apa yang terbaik untuk kita.

that's why i said, Allah is the Most Powerful. Dia bagi kekuatan yang i tak pernah tau i ada. bila i ingat balik that time , i know that i will be strong for whatever come by may. for once, i know Allah ada dengan i. people can't never understand, but i know. i just know it. *smile*

so, i think i'm doing great now. having sophea with me are indeed the most precious best priceless gift i could ever had. and encik husband, i know i can't get a man that as good as him. heee....macam semalam, we we just get back from penang, attending friend's wedding. penat memang penat. balik tu encik husband asked me to cooked. fine, tak kisah pun as i love cooking (pleasing him). so bahan2 pun terhad, i just cooked paprik, telur dadar, that's all. so as i was cooking, he put all his effort to unpack our luggage, sort things back to their places. even the tupperware pun dia dah siap basuh.

bila dia buat camni, kadang2 ada benda yang i nak marah pun tak jadi nak marah. i rasa kalau lelaki lain balik rumah tidur je terus. (if i were a man, a husband, i'll do that....hahahaha). yela kan, lantak lah, dah kerja wife. wife buat la. tapi takkkk....not my husband.

cuma lepas makan nasi paprik tu tambah dua kali, dia terus tidur. i masa tu dah gigil2 lapar jugak, tapi sophea was having hard time to sleep (die memang selalu camtu...nak tidur je ada masalah....hahah), takkan nak pass kat encik husband semata nak makan. tak patut sungguh. so i dodoikan sophea until she fell asleep. tapi 2 minit je lepas i letak dia kat sofa, and tengah suap nasi barang 2 suap camtu, die dah bangun. tangan i ada sambal belacan okay. hahaha....

and from now on (eceh...setiap kali pun camni), i promise to try not to pick a fight with encik husband over small things and silly things. kesian la kat die. dia dah buat macam2 kat i. punnnn nak ajak gaduh lagi. hahaha... i just love them to death. i am.

Perasaan Itu

lately ni i selalu tengok gambar masa kitorang kahwin dulu. gambar bersanding, gambar honeymoon, and paling best tengok gambar masa baru pindah rumah. bila tengok gambar kitorang bukak hadiah kahwin, susun dalam almari semua, seronok sangat.

masa tu i cuti lama.
encik husband isnin tu kerja, siap balik kul 11 malam lagi. i was the one who fetched him at the office. boss dia cina tu mesti rasa bersalah sebab let him stayed at this office lambat2 macam tu. hahaha....marriage is not just about *ehem* okay. it is more than that. macam understanding and honesty. walaupun honestly speaking, i memang tak faham kerja encik husband (dan malas tak cuba memahami), and all i think about is myself, and how he should be with me like alllllllllll the time (read: overly attached wife), tapi kadang2 ada la jugak i memahami beliau.

contohnya; let him have the boy's night out.

dalam sebulan or dua bulan sekali i let him go out and have fun. (eh?ade ke?) hahaha. but encik husband sendiri suka kat rumah, palaying around with me. and now bila dah ade sophea lagi la overly attached nyer dia dengan kitorang. i like that. i rasa semua wife pun suka bila husband ade kat rumah.

bukan sebab kitorang fikir ape, it is just, when you have A MAN at home, you rasa secure. you rasa lelaki tu lebih utamakan kita dalam semua benda. bukan kah jadi sesuatu yang dipentingkan itu best?indah? he he he. sebab i rasa macam tu. bila i rasa diri i dipentingkan especially from encik husband, i selalu cakap kat diri i, untuk jadi lebih baik dan terbaik untuk encik husband.

tapi yela, i kan, walaupun kitorang dah kawan almost 10 years, dan dah kawen for more than 1 year, rasa excited menunggu setiap kali dia balik kerja tu macam sesuatu sangat. ha ha ha....i excited gila kot kalau dia nak balik. rasa dia sama macam masa dulu i tunggu die datang amek nak gi dating. teehee...and encik husband, menjadi kebiasaanye die akan call like right 5 minutes before dia sampai rumah. and kadang2 kalau i senyap je tak whatsapp die ke ape, die call or message je tanye kenapa diam.

diam la sebok dukung and ciom sophea. hahaha...

so as a human, biasalah. bila orang buat tu kite tak hargai pun. adela sekali dua dia call i biarkan je (sebenarnye susah nak reach phone bila kat rumah. dukung sophea, remember?haha), but mostly i tak dengar. so kalau tiba2 dia balik je camtu i macam terkejut jugak la. and start cari point like,  "why dont u call first...". "tak message kite pun macam selalu..."

nampak?nampak? nampak tak betapa mengadernya i dengan encik husband?wahahaha...i rasa cukup tempoh sabar dia, memang makan senduk la kot i kan. hahaha...

but i loveeeeeeeeee it bila dia message or call or bila die teringatkan i. tak kisahla i tau ke tak, tapi i buat2 jela die teringatkan i like all the time...hahahaha...

macam tengah hari tadi, dia message i,

"b makan ape tadi syg...".

tibe2 i rasa macam luluh je jantung . sebab ade 'syg' kat belakang tu. it would be a whole lot different kan between,

"b makan ape tadi?" dengan "b makan ape td syg...".

sebab "b makan ape td syg.." rasa macam encik husband cakap dengan penuh kasih sayang.

ha ha ha..... terok sgt ni rasa cinta camni ni laaaaa.....hahahahahaha

the sweetness

busy busy. tapi sempat je nak update sebab, ni jela tempat luahan rasa. nak share something. walaupun memang la takde respon tapi bila kita baca balik entry tu macam ade orang tanya kita soalan, and kita jawab. so jawapan yang kita dapat tu diguna pakai untuk selesaikan balik masalah. hahahaha....creepyyy...dah la masalah sendiri plak tu. mihmihmih...

sekarang ni macam2 perasaan ade. tapi at this moment i rasa nak sangat balik rumah i sendiri, and do one thing that i enjoy most: sleeping cleaning and cooking...heh! bila i stress or bila i gaduh dengan encik husband, i rather to have my own spot, space, and time by my own, without other people interrupting.

tahukah anda, bila saya mengalami ketegangan suasana dengan lelaki yang paling paling saya cintai, iaitu encik husband, berdiam diri selama beberapa jam (atau hari dan bulan) adalah pendekatan mudah yang saya ambil? wakakaka....haruslah encik husband amat marah dengan situasi ini. gila ape kau duk serumah tak bercakap waima sepatah perkataan pun.

tapi i rasa safe and comfortable living in my own world. heh.. dan tenang obviously.

selalu i senyap i takde fikir pun pasal punca pergaduhan, jauh sekali nak fikir cara nak end off the fight..hahahaha....i selalu macam tak fikir ape pun, and my mind just lingering around. tapi encik husband, kalau dia tak tahan, nanti dia provoke2 , yang mana akan datangkan balik amarah i, dan pergaduhan berlanjutan lagi.

seeeeee??u tak kacau i, i tak kacau u.

tapi in between ade jugak terfikir, "bila la nak baik ni..." "bila laa die nak pujuk aku ni...". tapi takde pun. nanti lama2 entah i pun tak tau nanti baik jugak. i pun tak ingat camne boleh baik.

tapi orang cakap, bila bergaduh ni, jangan ade perasaan MALAS untuk berbaik, dan jangan ade perasaan macam "lantak kau lahh". sebab this is when two hearts become aparts, and we dont want things to get uglier than the fight itself kan?

i boleh berdiam lame2, tapi nanti2 rindu sendiri. hikhik...

bila encik husband jauh2 ni mula la otak ligat fikir bukan2. shoooooohhh syaitan. sebok ajerr...

selalu soalan yang i fikir, "dia ingat tak kat i macam mana i ingat kat die?" "did he missed me as much as i missed him?". well soalan orang perempuan. lelaki bukan tau pun. bukan dia kisah pun kannn...

tapi harap2 nye die rindu la.

hrmmm....cepatlah ahad, tak sabar nak jumpe kekasih hati i ni. entah ape die bawak jajan untuk i. handbag ke? makeup ke?? ehhhhhh.......

Lelaki macam mane yang sesuai buat suami

my friend asked me, "how long does he took to propose me?". and while i'm doing my work on the laptop, with both my hands and eyes on it, oh not to forget my brain too, i simply answered, "8 years...". jaw dropping and eyes blotting. i mean my friend. hahahaha....bila diorang laughing at me, then only i realized what do they mean by propose.

yela kan. for us muslim, propose is a term used to get married, asking in hand to be a wife officially. but actually, what do they mean by propose was bila encik husband a.k.a boyfriend masa tu tanya i untuk jadi his girlfriend. hrmm... not to forget. i was his girlfriend for a loyal-8-years-without-once-i-tengok-orang lain. hahaha.... how setia i was? pretty setia huh?

that's pretty insane. but trust me, there were a lot of dramas, and crying, and pujuk memujuk whatsoever, not to forget money, time and effort, just to keep both of us together. although i think i yang banyak berkorban (prftttt berkorban as in the one who did the talking, memorizing things, keep things happening all year around hehe..), i must say that he is pretty reliable. yela kan, kalau dia tak reliable dah macam mane dia nak jadi husband i? ha ha ha...

so actually we were friends before we decided to be together. after 6 months. and being me, i was the one who were proactive and not playing tagging when i was with him. you know tagging? malu2 kucing la etc etc. com'on girls, no such thing as in malu2 kucing. i'm preety opened with him. share experiences and all that as im the one who did the talking and he's listened.

bukanlah malu kucing sampai nak bercakap pun tak boleh. ade batas nye. tapi what's the point of jadi malu kucing tapi dalam hati ade perasaan nak bercinta dengan dia. ha dosa tau! kalau camtu suh ibu ayah cari orang kahwinkan saje. senang kan?

tapi dulu i had this idea, in which kalau i tak jadi kahwin dengan this super annoying encik husband (ha ha ha), i suh je mama and ayah carikan orang and kahwin kan. tapi syarat lepas kahwin i nak duduk London.

nampak tak dia punye sedih hati nak lari jauh dari malaysia. bawak hati la konon. hi hi hi...

bila ingat balik, termalu2 i. gaduh2 tapi anak satu dah pun. muahahahaha......

pastu nanti encik husband cakap, "sophea.....mommy tu dari dulu lagi rasa daddy tak sayang dia...sampai sophea dah ade pun dia rasa daddy tak sayang dia..."

nanti i kat belakang seat tu buat la muka kat encik husband. tapi blushing sikit la...ha ha ha.... naseb sophea tak faham lagi...kalau dia faham pun mesti dia buat muka kat daddy dia. hahaha...


kalau orang tanye i la, macam mana nak tau whether lelaki tu akan jadi suami yang baik atau tak? there is no answer for that, but all i can say is,

1. macam mane kita nak orang treat kite, means nak orang treat kite baik2 je, camtu lah kite kene treat orang lain. macam i, i really did my best to please him, so in returned i dapat ape yang i nak.
2. jangan expect menggunung dari lelaki. macam nak makan kat hotel 5 stars setiap kali dating. dapat iphone 5s setiap kali birthday etc etc. when we expect less, then tetibe dapat more than we expect, that's the beauty of it.
3. sentiasa doa kat Allah agar dipertemukan jodoh yang baik. cukup baik untuk sayang kita dan keluarga kecil kita ni dan bertanggungjawab.
4. kalau rasa pasangan kita ni cukup menyakitkan hati, tengok2 la sikit selama berkawan/berkahwin ni takkan sikit pun takde kebaikan dia. contohnye macam pagi dia keluar belikan nasi lemak untuk breakfast tu tak cukup baik lagi ke?

ingat. kita ni bukan sempurna sangat. so jangan ingat orang lain sempurna macam yang kita nak. tapi trust me, a good relationship is fill with honesty, love, and trust.

Counting Time

encik husband will not be around for this one whole week. outstation. this time around Manilla. he asked me i nak ikot ke tak, you know, he loves bringing me all over the places it's either i want it or not. last time masa pergi Japan. sebab this time pergi Manilla, i macam malas. kalau lepas ni pergi Europe definitely i'll go! anyway adoiilaa...siapa la mangsa yang nak diajak bersembang dan bergaduh. hihi...

i always ask him, whether he actually loves me or not. hahaha...silly kan?? i knowwwwwwww....but i love teasing him that way. i know he might get boring with those silly questions (nampak plural 's' so ade banyak lagi soalan bagi kat die), but as long as i'm enjoying doing it, and i'll make sure i don't go overboard doing it, then it will be okay.heeeee......selalu i suke tanya dalam kereta. i'll be staying at the back with sophea, sebab sophea seating in the carseat, so encik husband akan jeling through the rear mirror and rolling his eyes macam menyampah sangat dengan soalan i tu. ha ha ha.....

kadang-kadang dia akan panggil i, "pstttt.....sayang....sini la kat kite....ciom sikit....". duhhh ngader gilerr. dulu masa sebelum sophea ade, we were like love birds berkepit ciom dalam kete sana sini macam takde tempat lain nak buat ha ha ha, but since sophea dah ade, memang lupekan jela hasrat nak buat camtu lagi. lagipun feeling kiss2 dari belakang ni ape la sangat. tapi sophea kan a good baby, die jarang meragam kalau duduk kat carseat tu. so selalunya kalau sophea dah okay je dalam tu, masa i bercinta la plak dalam kereta.

borak2 sambil peluk ke, or main laga2 pipi ke, but once in awhile toleh2 jugak kat sophea. kadang2 dia buat muka garang, macam bosan dengan perangai mommy and daddy dia. whateverrrr....hahahaha....tapi penat la nak pelok encik husband dari belakang. besar sangat ukuran lilitan tu kan. but any peluang yang ada, yang i nampak just to show him how much i love him, i akan buat.

i bet he knows how much i love him. ermmm....i pun tau sebenarnye yang encik husband sayang i. i boleh tau la. dah kalau everyday pun dia akan balik and drove all the way to KL sedangkan i dah bagi permission untuk dia tak balik, call sms and even email me during work just to answer my repetition questions, siapkan barang2 especially sterilizer and heater susu sophea, sediakan air panas etc etc, ape lagi yang tak cukup untuk tunjukkan yang dia sayang i?sayang kitorang?

how much is too much?

susahkan nak measure benda yang berkaitan rasa ni. hati semua. sebab dia rasa dan tak boleh ukur.

tapi i just nak die tau yang i syg sgt kat die. and that both of us, me and sophea love him so much. and just harap daddy akan sayangkan kitorang jugak all the time. sobs!

amboi, encik husband pergi tak sampai sehari lagi dah meleret2 camni......hahaha!

Kurung ke?

semalam isnin. kalau ikot perancangan, encik husband tak balik. dia akan balik dalam 2 hari sekali. sebab banyak reason macam jauh, penat, masa, dan cost. since dari i delivered baby sophea sampai la ni, sophea dah nak masuk 4 bulan hujung bulan ni, rasa nya 2 kali je kot dia tak balik. hari lain semua balik. -______-

ini dah bukan perancangan dah ni. tapi mestilah orang paling excited dengar dia balik is his wife. isteri dia yang boleh tahan garang, mood swings sukahati dia, dan perempuan yang tak amik heran ape encik husband dia buat. kihkikh....

tapi itu lah. kita manusia ni mane la pernah kenal erti cukup. dapat husband baik pun duk canang suami orang lain lebih baik. padahal suami orang yang dia canag2 tu, duk puji husband kita ni baik. eh? hahahaha..... tapi siapa cakap suami i tak baik? tak baik jahat angat mulut! heeeee....

semalam dia balik, i suruh dia tenggok kan sophea. i pun dengan kadar segera masakkan la dia ape yang patut. buat telur dadar, masak lemak kobis, gorengkan ayam, and jemput2. lama i tunggu dia tak keluar dari bilik. sampai i dah siap minum air oren sunquick 2 gelas pun dia tak keluar. hangin jugak lah i sebab kita dah semangat sediakan. sekali i masuk bilik tengok dia tengah susu kan sophea. sobs sobs.....haa, Allah nak tunjuk tu. jangan asyik nak marah suami je.i pun join atas katil, sambil peluk2 encik suami, sambil borak2 dengan dia apa yang sophea buat hari ni. macam i mandikan dia, and that she's smiling, i nyanyikan favourite song sophea, and bukan main excited si sophea ni dengar. and her daddy pun suka je dengar.

reason encik husband balik and tak stay kat rumah kitorang sendiri sebab i dengan sophea takde so the house macam tak ceria la kan. i know that feeling. that's why i macam sedih sebab encik husband yang rasa camtu. rasa dihargai. rasa wanted. kalau perempuan biasalah nak rindu doplohpatjam jewwwrrrr....

lepas makan camtu, nanti encik husband tolong angkat bekas mangkuk etc bawak gi dapur. and i akan basuh macam biasa. dulu i tak selalu sangat cakap "thank u" etc etc. tapi sejak i kahwin, encik husband ade sifat camtu, so kite pun terikut same. kadang i amekkan kicap pun dia cakap thank u. jangan kira bila i belanje makan ke ape. kemain panjang thank uuuuuuuuu die tu....hewhewhew...

looks small. tapi kita rasa seronok sebenarnyer. =)

hopefully sophea akan belajar dari us parents. kitorang memang tak pernah lagi maki hamun bergaduh baling periok depan sophea, and insyaAllah tidak akan buat macam tu. sebab i kalau gaduh pun silent je. tu lagi best kan?hahahaha.....boleh mati tak cakap kot.

lepas makan encik husband tolong lipat kain. sweet je cakap, "do you want me to help?". tak banyak pun dia lipat i rasa, i rasa dalam dua keping bajuje hahahahahaha, lebihnya main laptop or borak2 dengan i. tak kisah pun, but dia sendiri nak help me around, or maybe simply nak duduk dekat2 dengan i, dah cukup buat i rasa best. buat rasa disayangi.

nanti sebelum tidur rutin die cam biasa la. sediakan air panas and botol bersih untuk sophea. maybe die tau nnti i penat bangun nak buat susu sophea so die siapkan awal2. i kadang2 macam sedih jugak sebab maybe suami orang lain lepak mamak tengok bola, tapi encik husband memang banyak dengan i, and now dah ade sophea lagi la berkepit je dengan kitorang.

i takut la dia rasa macam 'terkurung' ke ape which i sangat la suka dia ada dengan i je kat umah doplohpatjam sebab dia kan bf i, best friend i, cinta hati i, lagi ade kat depan mata i, lagi la i happy. =) lagipun, esok kalau ade baby boy and baby girl, i taknak diorang jadi jenis yang keluar hangout dengan kawan je sebab parents macam tu.

bukan tak boleh, tapi i tak suka. sebab i pun bukan jenis camtu keluar lepak tak tentu arah.i have everything i want under my roof, food, wayang (free download), food (home cook, cikedis semua ade), internet , so nak ape lagi?

tapi ikot orang la. kitorang keluar jugak, lepak jugak, tapi kitorang tak jadikan benda tu as habit, or acara wajib mingguan. keluar bila rasa perlu, or maybe once in a while.

pagi tadi i buat instant sandwich. takde bawang takde cili takde ape. kesian plak i dengan encik husband. niat malam tu nak buat sandwich sejuk tapi malam tu terlupa, bangun pun lambat, kelam kabut i buat breakfast dia.. so pagi ni i managed buatkan encik husband sandwich tuna 3 keping, sekali goreng jemput2 dengan sos cili bungkus, air teh o panas in 15minutes.

masak air, sambil tu goreng jemput2, sambil tunggu goreng tu, i kuarkan butter sardin dengan roti. sap sap soi siap dah la. encik husband siap la peeping kat dapur tengok i buat ape. cis!terlambat la i nak hidang kat meja. haihhh....tapi takpela, janji beliau kenyang and tak lapar.

malam ni dia balik. rindu dengan isteri dan anaknye itu. jangan cakap dia. i pun rindu kat dia and sophea. hehehe....malam ni dia suruh urut. sakit tangan dia cakap nak type pun tak boleh...sian kan?? jangan jadi cam semalam, dia suh i urut, i laju2 je tertido. hahahaha!

Senyap Sikit Mulut Tu

otak tepu wehhh...

masuk office tadi kul 10am dah start meeting. mak aih!tak beragak nak start meeting. anyway, i was so keen toward the meeting. biasalah, semalam dapat bunga plak mau tak pagi ni bersemangat waja nak buat kerja. siap bawak latop okay. senang bawak laptop masuk meeting ni. terus update and highlight mane nak kena amend.

masa tengah nak pergi meeting tu dapat watsapp. hrmm....dari siapa lagi kalau bukan encik husband. dia tulis dalam tu, "bb.....i hepi sangat pagi ni...".sweet. rasanya, kalau perempuan dapat message macam tu kat handphone camne reaksi eh?

dah, tak payah jawab. tersenyum lebar la kitewwww.....hahaha! sampai officemate i marah i. dia cakap, "oi, cepatlah meeting!". pastu i reply la, "sabar lah! nak reply message nie..." tapi senyum tu still tak lepas. hahahaha.....then officemate reply, "macam kat bilik meeting tak boleh reply....". hahahaha.....haishhh memang lah boleh, tapi sekarang ni tengah excited. haruslah reply dengan kadar segera. mihmih...

ni tak lain tak bukan sebab musabab dari semalam.

semalam masa nak tidur. dah siap gosok gigi basuh muka dedua, i dah landing dulu kat katil. pastu encik husband cakap, "bb...u tido sane lahh....nanti idung i sumbat tidur sini..". maksudnya dia taknak tidur directly bawah air cond. oh well, kate deal dengan i, haruslah sifat kedengkian tu lebih sikit.i pun meniarap kat tengah2 katil, pastu depa tangan dengan kaki besar2, saje taknak bagi ade space untuk encik husband tido. ohsem kan? pastu encik husband terkedek2 selitkan diri tepi dinding nak tidur. holohhh siannye.... pastu i duk telek2 muka dia, tak sedar camne dedua boleh tertido. bagus kan perangai?

sampai la ke pagi. tau2 MIL kejut. malu weh mak mentua kejut. tapi apakan daya kitorang kan muda remaja tapi dah ade anak pun mak kejut lagi bangun subuh. hahahaha....i mandi dulu siap2, then encik husband pun siap2.

then kitorang pergi breakfast kat mamak. dah lame kot kitorang tak breakfast same, apetah lagi pergi kerja same2. nak naik train kul 8, by 7 dah sampai kat kedai mamak. lame gile lepak. i ordered vadei dengan capati, encik husband order roti telur bawang. pastu kitorang dua berborak macam satu dunia nak dengar. hahaha....oh well, i jela cakap pun, encik husband kan tukang dengar. i rasa mesti dia tak sabar nak hantar i pergi kerja, aman sikit kot hidup dia.

then encik husband cakap masa i tengah sronok2 kunyah capati cicah dhal, " sayang....u bayangkan lah kalau u senyap bila gaduh dengan i, u rasa macam mana hidup i kalau u senyap...". cehhh....konon fefeeling sweet la cakap camtu over the table. walaupun........walaupun i rasa macam disayangi sangat....harharhar!! then i replid, "i bukan senyap la sayang semalam tu, i penat sebab tu i senyap...". valid tak alasan? hahahahaha....

encik husband tu pelik sikit. kalau kitorang gaduh, berjuta2 message dia hantar- tak kisahlah nak marah ke nak bagi statement ke, nak menangkan diri dia ke etc etc. tapi kalau we were in a stabil mood, means tak gaduh la- satu message pun susah nak dapat. nak kire camne tu?haihhh....sabar jela kan. nak marah suami sendiri. tak marah tak tau plak.tihiii...

perangai dia tu tak boleh blah sungguh. and because of that setiap hari la i memendam rindu tak sabar nak jumpe dia kat rumah. kadang2 bawak bertumbuk jugaklah kat rumah sebab geram sangat...bahahha!!i doa hari2 semoga dia sabar and bertahan dengan perangai i yang cakap kemain kuat, dan mood swings yang tak ikot masa.

kadang a word pun boleh twist the whole thing and causes haywire.

heh. kata perempuan kan.

tapi demi Allah, rasa sayang rindu dan cinta untuk encik husband so far masih utuh dan kedap. dan memang kasih dan cinta untuk encik husband (yang perangai macam2 tu) hanya kerana Allah dan dengan izin Dia. and i harap encik husband will love me as much as i do.

teeheee.....sebab kan...

kalau i atkde siapa la nak layan kerenah dia nak makan macam2 tu yang mengalahkan ibu nandong tu....hahahaha!!

Fight For Your Love

semalam lepas habis class, dalam 5.30pm left the classroom and masuk office. nampak bebudak ni tengah relax2 borak2, so i pun join sekaki. well, memang kitorang dalam 5.30 memang dah time rehat. jarang la nak buat kerja sampai kul 6 unless ade benda urgent nak kene siapkan. so anyway, tengah lepak2 sambil borak2 dengan diorang ni sekali ada officer datang depan pintu office.

"Puan F****??". i dah macam ohemgeeee, ade kerja baru nak bagi ke?? sebab pegawai ni memang jarang la sangat bercakap dengan i. so agak risau la tetiba called up my name kan.

sekali, ada seorang mamat pakai jaket masuk office sambil pegang a bouquet of red roses!!!!!!

hahahaha. ohemgeeeeee!!!! kat kad yang i dapat tu tertera "my beloved wife". budak2 office dah senyum2 kat i. kuang asam betul. well dah boleh agak siapa yang bagi. heee....suka weh!!!!! suka gila dapat bunga. terus berbunga-bunga lah hati i. dah la semalam tu khamis malam jumaat. wakakakakaka.......

ermm....we had like a small fight semalam. some misunderstanding. takde la misunderstanding sangat. it was more to attitude and how we behave with each other. benda ni skills kot. kalau kita takde skill untuk encounter this kind of problem, pergaduhan tu mesti ada. kalau tak dibendung dia boleh jadi masalah.

i think husband did the right move to send me flowers. sebab kalau dia tak bagi, i memang tak nampak tanda2 nak baik. hahahaha......bukan i k?err....yeah obviously i need time but receiving flowers memang teruskan stop panas hati i tu.

actually, i tak encouraged encik husband bagi bunga or hadiah everytime kitorang gaduh. sebab nanti lame2 takut i dah immune and giving presents dah takde effect kat kemarahan i. once in a while boleh la. or lagi worst, selagi i tak dapat hadiah selagi tu i taknak baik. contoh, selagi tak dapat handbag chanel i taknak baik dengan u. hahahaha....chanel okay, benda lain taknak.

i sebenarnye lagi suka kalau encik husband pujuk meleret2 sampai kehabisan ayat nak pujuk. bahahaha....ngader angat kitew niew...mihmihmih!! balik rumah kena ciom2 or kene peluk2 pun lagi best dapat hadiah. or.....dapat hadiah pastu dapat pujuk pelok ciom pun laaaaaaaaaaagi best! hahaha...

tapi tu la, encik husband tu dia macam....macam typical lelaki. tak suka benda2 remeh camni. ape, dia ingat bagi bunga jer terus i baik? semalam tu memang la terus baik sebab i dah laaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaa sangat tak dapat bunga so hati ada sikit macam senang juga. hahaha...kalau tak kena hari, mau bunga tu i buat salad jer...hahaha!

so camtu la cerita dia. semalam lepas balik, nampak encik husband, jeling2 senyum je. dia la jeling2 i. konon dari jelingan tu nak bagitau, "dah la gaduh dengan kita!". eh talking about that, i tak mintak maaf pun lagi kat beliau!!

hee......semalam dah peluk2 ciom consider dah mintak maaf la kan? ke cara wajib nyer kena salam ciom tangan nangis2 mintak maaf?

mohon pencerahan sikit.