What did i do wrong?

What did i do wrong?

Soalan yang keep on haunting me kalau i rasa things are not the way it suppose to be. Things that are not going to the place it should go. and i was so scared that things will never go to where i suppose it should be. confusing much? so do i.

What did i do wrong?

i have no answer. i have been searching for it for as long as i know but yet i didnt have the answer. i was scared. i really am. scared of things yang i tak tau ...like what will happen. i feel like im all alone doing this BIG thing. trying so hard to ensure that it will not fall down.

What did i do wrong?

maybe i feel like people will not betray me. people will always be kind to me, and treat me with respect and attention.

maybe at this time only i realized that i was actually did something wrong. i let people do exactly what they like, i let people do things that they are not suppose to do, i let my emotion over powered my critical thinking, i let love (if you read my blog you will know that i am person who have so much love for the people that i love, so much that i sometimes forgot to love my own self) keep me away from reality. i let people take me for granted.

for so many times.

and now i know i have to do something. but what is it? but how?

Quickie!

it's been a very long time since i last post an entry here. well, life has been good but i am really really busy like there is not time even to look at the instagram. hahaha... that is how busy i am. kat instagram bukan stalk other people's life okay, but more to online shopping...hahaha...

what should i update here?

my master class is almost done. lagi 2 semester habis. husband can't never been so nice. kadang2 lunch pon dia belikan makan. i balik tengah hari nk pergi class, the food are already there atas meja. kadang2 rasa macam sebak sebab supposely i la yang kena sediakan lunch untuk dia kan, but he did almost everything for me.

including lipat kain. you see, there are tons or perhaps pile of clothes bila jemuran kering, sebab i jenis yang bila baju tu dah melekat kt badan even for 1 hour, i takkan pakai dah. so thats why penuh je basuhan. hahaha... but again, dia la yang lipat kan. every single time.

sama la kalau siapkan beg susu bebudak. dia jugak. haihh...he has been so nice to me.

eh okayla. ni update dalam kelas ni. nanti update lagi k. muaahh!!

Tips Berpantang Mudah Untuk Ibu Moden

hahahaha...

kita ni asal boleh je kan nak pantang. yela, zaman sekarang semua nak mudah, cepat, efficient, tapi yang pasti end result memang power. so kat sini, i just wanted to share what did i do during my berpantang days, it helps me to ease some burden and enjoy my confinement way better than my first pregnancy.

orait. the moment you step out from the hospital, just set in mind, berpantang ini mudah, semudah ABC.

kalau boleh start seawal pagi yang boleh. dalam pukul 5am? maybe masa ni hari pertama tukang urut datang. selalu tukang urut cakap tak yah mandi dulu, yela kan dia nak urut pakai minyak, so takkan sampai dua kali nak mandi pagi tu. just basuh muka and gosok gigi, tukar la pad. pastu  pam susu.sesambil tunggu kakak tukang urut tu, korang kemas la tempat tidur korang, bukak tingkap biar angin segar masuk. siapkan set pakai baby and letak tepi. pastu breakfast la sesambil tunggu.

tukang urut sampai korang pun start urut. let say baby nangis nak susu masa urut, stop kejap, bagi susu kat baby. tukang urut akan tunggu. tukang urut yang baik tak akan kisah pun. lepas tu dah siap urut apa bagai, korang pun mandi, kan? time ni pass baby kat akak tukang urut itu untuk mandikan, or if its not in the pakej, suh la mak korang mandikan. my son mandi seawal 8 pagi. mandi air panas and splash2.

nanti akak tu akan pakai kan bengkung. by the time siap semua pun dalam 11 to 12 pm. masa ni dah sibuk nak lunch. lepas lunch time ni baru korang nak rehat sikit. nak pam, nak tungku pun boleh. usually 12 to 5pm adalah me time.

kul 5pm mandikan baby. lepas baby mandi, mommy pulak mandi. pastu ready for dinner. dalam kul 7pm siapla.kul 8-10pm pun adalah me time. nak pam susu, tungku pun boleh. korang takyah hirau la pasal tv ke hp ke. selalu dalam 2weeks pertama tu i mmg jarang pegang hp.

pastu tido la, sebab malam kita memang ngantuk tapi TERPAKSA susukan anak yang nak susu.

baju kotor ape kejadah semua?
inilah peranan suami. baju iols and baby kotor husband hantar self service  siap dry kan lagi. kadang dia balik i yang excited nak lipat sebab panas2 lagi.

itu jelah i nak share pun. sebenarnye berubah2 tapi i ade keje ni nak buat. hahaha...nanti sambung lagi k.

Beza mengandung anak lelaki dengan perempuan

Hi semekom. hari ni nak share beza nya masa i mengandung anak perempuan dengan anak lelaki. sebab dah merasa ada dedua boleh la share kan. hihi maybe lain ibu, lain anak, lain ragam nya. so jangan stress, jangan sibuk nak compare dengan orang lain, ingat satu benda je, kita nak anak kita sihat dan selamat dilahirkan.

1. Anak perempuan
- perut mengembang ke kiri dan ke kanan. kira dari depan tak nampak pregnant, tapi nampak gemok. sorry. hahaha...perut slightly kecik dari mengandung anak lelaki. so memang i takde keluar stretch marks.
Anak lelaki
- perut memanjang ke hadapan. . dari depan tak nampak pregnant, dari tepi, hello....perot macam nak meletop dah. hahaha... perut slightly besar. well hello stretch marks. T_T

2. Anak perempuan
- i only vomit twice or 3 times sepanjang pregnant
Anak lelaki
- i only vomit once.

3. Anak perempuan
- baby quite active dalam perut. especially dah nak dekat EDD.
Anak lelaki
- kurang active. active bila mommy lepas makan jer. haha...

4. Anak perempuan
- kaki muka tangan mommy semua bengkak seawal bulan ke 6. water retention yang sangat teruk tak boleh nak solat macam biasa. i guna kerusi untuk solat. hence, kaki naik one size bigger.
Anak lelaki
- kaki je bengkak itu pun 2 minggu sebelum EDD pastu dia dah surut. hence solat adalah seperti biasa throughout pregnancy. suka sangat.

5. Anak perempuan
- mommy suka sangat makan benda manis macam chocolate and cakes. kalau takde stok kat umah, mommy sanggup makan roti sapu butter buh gula.
Anak lelaki
- mommy suka sangat makan pedas. selagi tak pedas rasa tak puas.

6. Anak perempuan
- max weight mommy increased adalah 25kg
Anak lelaki
- max weight mommy increased adalah 15kg

7. Anak perempuan
- tanda bersalin= tumpah darah. just a tiny dot of blood in the toilet bowl. tak sakit.
Anak lelaki
- tanda bersalin = tumpah darah. blood show siap macam ada selaput darah keluar sekali. darah meleleh ke lantai. tak sakit.

8. Anak perempuan
- mommy muka bersepah, tak bermakeup, and malas nak keluar jenjalan.
Anak lelaki
- mommy cecantik, rajin, sampai a day before bersalin pun siap mop rumah bagai.

9. Anak perempuan and anak lelaki
- both pregnancy takde sakit2 ke, lemah2 ke.
- both pregnancy tak kerap kencing

10. Anak perempuan
- took like 3 hours punya contraction, 3 kali push, 3 stitches.
- contraction adalah mild.
Anak lelaki
- took like 2 hours punya contraction, 1 kali push, 1 stitches
- contraction sangatlah intense rasa macam nak mati. hahahaa....seriously.

11. Anak perempuan
- baby lahir 3.31kg / normal delivery
Anak lelaki
- baby lahir 3.34kg / normal delivery

so itu lah bezanya. macam mana nak dapat anak lelaki or anak perempuan? hahaha...i rasa i tau tapi aishh...segan la nak cakap. itu u ols google la sendiri, ada je diorang dah bagitau. hahaha..

apa-apa pun...x kisahlah anak lelaki or anak perempuan, mereka tetap amanah Allah yang kita kena jaga sepanjang hayat kita. take care mommies!

Quickie!

Can i say that. now (i feel) my life is already complete?

I'm going to start with, Alhamdulilah (all praise to Allah). Ya' know why?

1. I have a loving husband, whom I'd known for almost 13 years.
2. I have two babies (yeay?). A 2 yr old girl and a 1 mth old boy. Boleh tutup kilang sekejap i guess. well, i love to have a lot of babies, but yeah. you know what i mean.
3. I still have a job. Can't wait to meet all of my students and start the class.
4. I pass my exams with flying colours. Paper dah la bapak susah.
5. I get back my weight before pregnant because i can fit in into my Levi jeans. why bother? sebab that was a gift from my husband and i pakai 2 kali je before my tummy grew. jyeah! but kena buat sit up because the pouch is still there. haish!

Nanti nak update cerita delivery and macam2 lagi....for the time being, let me enjoy my moments!

Effort in love

baru lepas lunch, solat, mandi, ni dah amik notes nak study for next paper. sekali rasa macam, ok ngantuk, meh update blog. anyway my daughter tengah nyenyak tidur kat sebelah. she's the one who pointed her fat short finger towards the bedroom nak tidur.

tadi daddy balik kejap bawakkan food (nasi hujan panas kemarau...haha), lepas she kiss2 her daddy, terus gi bilik.

anyway, another 3 weeks to go before my baby come out. my feeling? seriously excited, rasa macam lebih excited dari pregnant kan sophea. sebab, masa first pregnancy tu i macam, slow mo, taknak over excited (walaupun...), kan orang cakap jangan excited sangat. but this baby, aiyakk...cannot wait mehh...x sabar nak jumpa dia, susukan dia, jaga dia, tengok kerenah dia. im so ready, insyaAllah!

barang2 semua dah siap. kalau nak ikutkan memang la takkan pun siap nye. but thinking that nowadays it is very easy to get/buy things so takpela. nak pakai baru kita cari.

husband? well, he can never be better than this. haha...he has been very supportive, and selalu sangat la manja kan i. i ni Pisces-baby. so mood swing tu selalu. so he has to be awesome to encounter my moodyness. korang jangan tak caya, dah nak dekat 13 tahun kot kitorang together. dari dulu sampai sekarang perangai i memang sama je. kadang-kadang macam tak percaya plak that we actually made it into marriage, and actually make two babies together.

euuwww.....hahahaha!!

nevertheless, perasaan i, the way i looked at him, is just the same when first i met him. orang kata, perasaan suka. cinta ni tak boleh buat2, sebab when you reach a certain point, benda tu jadi bosan sebab kita force ourselves to like someone. but in my case, nope. i really do love him.

honestly speaking, setiap kali doa, memang i akan cakap, " yaAllah yaTuhanku, panjangkanlah jodoh aku dengan (nama suami) sampai ke syurga". tiap kali. tak pernah tinggal. kecuali kalau doa pendek sebab nak cepat ke ape la...hahaha...

bukan sekali dua hubungan goyah....( goyah la..lelaki hensem ramai...hikhik), tetapi still our love getting stronger for every bitterness we faced. and tiap kali itu lah, makin kuat and makin we both know that we actually need each other.

dah kalau tiap kali makan pun nak berteman, tiap kali nak tidur pun mesti at least pegang tangan (expecially masa aircond rosak harapan la nak tidur pelok2...tumbok kang!), tak nampak lagi ke betapa we need each other. itu kalau tak sedar lagi tu, sila terjun bangunan.

eh ni nasihat untuk orang lain ke or untuk diri sendiri ni? hahahaha.....

ni anak dah dua ni. kata orang perasaan dah beralih arah. tak tau la kalau beliau beralih arah. but for me, same old same old. i still madly in love with him.i will always be there for him, for forever. or for as long as he wants me to be his wife. kalau he doesn't love me anymore, well, siapa kita nak paksa. terima jelah ketentuan Allah.

mane tau lepas tu sukri yahya ke...keith foo ke datang. hahaha...

tips nak hubungan selalu 'in love' konon nye...dua-dua kena berusaha. dua-dua kene tunjuk effort yang kite sayang dia, and nak dia dalam hidup kita. walaupun dah kahwin. macam ahkak, effort nye adalah, bagi soalan cepu emas di tempat yang least expected.

contoh, masa encik husband tengah pakai kasut nak pergi kerja, i will ask, "B, u sayang i tak?". kalau time tu die rasa nak jawab die jawab la, kalau die xnak, termalu-malu la sendiri iolss...hahaha...

oklah, nanti kalau free i update lagi k. ingat, love those who love you!

Kejap

Assalammualaikum.
Yes, i'm back!haha...sebab dah start maternity leave. i just take 1 month early from EDD because i have my master exams and also, well to equip myself (and my mind) to have a second baby of my own.

so anyway, yesterday we (me and friends) had a study group at my university. can you imagine, me-being pregnant at 36 weeks, bawak bag pack and go for a study group? lawak ok...dengan mengah2 nyer..ahaha...janji kul 11am but i managed to skip to go for my routine check up, and i waited for 3 hours ok. ni paling lama i pernah tunggu kat government hospital.phewww...nak free kan, telan je la...kalau nurse tu ngelat ke, ngulor ke, ikhlas ke tak, itu between dia dengan bos dia dengan Allah. siapa la kita nak mempertikaikan...last i sampai university pukul 2.30pm.

what did i get from the study group?a lot. repetitive question. format of answer / answer scheme. best kan? memudahkan kita nak study. husband? biasa la. skeptical. dia kata dulu dia study sorang2 je boleh dapat cgpa 4.0. kan i cakap, husband i tu alien....hahahaha...i tak tau la dia buat apa, makan nota dia kot jadik pandai camtu.

orang biasa2 macam i, haruslah kena baca nota 14 juta kali.haha...

Okay, nanti i sambung lagi k. sebab nak print notes dengan exam papers. ala korang...macam la tak pernah jadi student dulu...muuaahh!!

Being redha

you know, sometimes at one point of your life, you don't care about anything else rather than yourself, and people who loves you, and people that you love the most. even to come to an extend, you just care about yourself and your family, cause you know that family wont leave you terkedek-kedek behind. heh...

im at my almost 7months now. baby is growing well. i already know the baby's gender but yet not to reveal it till the baby is born. i just want to say ALHAMDULILAH. thank you Allah for giving me such rezeki.

anyway, do you know about redha? and what actually it means and what are the effects of redha towards one's life?

 "Redha bermaksud menerima dengan rasa senang dengan apa yang diberikan oleh Allah s.w.t samada ia baik atau buruk, samada ia berupa hukum, qada' mahupun ketentuan daripada Allah s.w.t".

especially when you had a bad day, or something bad happened to you that day. at first we might feel dissapointed, outcast, frustrated, angry, maybe we might blame others, or we might even blame ourselves due to what happened. but when it comes to being 'redha'. you will look at things differently, different dari apa judgements kita at the first place. we can even accept it simply just like that without being judgemental.

and you even feel relax and calm.something yang kita boleh achieved just by being 'redha'. redha dengan segala apa yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita.

this year 2015, really a year yang i takkan lupa seumur hidup i. both good and bad things did happened to me. and you never know what i had been through this year, and i passed through it, ALONE. alone (but not lonely definitely...haha). faced it, digested it, ALONE. i can say that i'm a pretty strong woman. i might not be a pious woman, but just by simply being redha dengan apa yang Allah dah 'tulis' untuk i, makes me what i am today.

so for what i had been through, give me sky and mountain, insyaAllah i can survive.hahaha...ish, takbur bunyik nya. no, what i mean is, experienced do teach me, you can never trust a person 100% except for yourself. this was what i get when i trusted a person too much. err...but i tend to trust people easily. one of my weaknesses maybe. tapi..really i tak sangka..

right now, just by being redha, i dah tak berapa kisah what will happen in my life, sekarang or later. i had gave so much, and this is how it repay me, then suit themselves. be it work, study, or anything in between. i just want to do things that make my life happy and conducive enough for my babies to grow well. I HAD GAVE SO SO MUCH, probably TOO MUCH. and now people do take me for granted.

if that so, then que sera sera. ;)

remember, life is too short to be wasted. people come and go, memory wont last for that long, yang sentiasa ada dengan kita is Allah, and He will never leave us, only we who left Him.

Hello There Baby

baru lepas bayar all the credit cards, mainly for citibank. nyesal plak apply hari tu sebab dia bagi 4 sekali credit card. lupa walapun free for life, government tax rm50 kene bayar jugakkan. so total ada 7 credit card sekarang termasuk 1 supplementary. im going to decline 4 tinggalkan 3 jer. husband kata susah nak managed nanti. sometimes he is totally right. ;)

anyway, i nak buat official announcement sebab i tau takde siapa yang akan baca blog ni melainkan a few friends yang entah bukak lagi ke tak blog i, hahaha....and readers yang kemungkinan tak kenal who am i. but i tau siapa yang kenal i, tak mungkin akan war-warkan cerita ni sebab i tak kasi *garang*. hikhik...

well anyway, i dah 5 months pregnant!! wahahaha...dalam pada taknak tu, tersangkut pulak. what more can i say melainkan ALHAMDULILAH. i dah tau i pregnant dari mula lagi, but bak kata orang2 tua, awal2 jangan dihebahkan dulu. sekarang pun taknak hebahkan jugak, that's why i just cakap kat sini. sebab this pregnancy is more interesting than masa sophea.

The Start
oh well, memang kitorang planned nak tunggu sophea dah besar, around 5 or 6 untuk ada the second baby. me and husband were already discussed upon this matter and agreed to wait until the right time to have second baby. but before this thing happened, husband pernah cakap, "is it normal to feel jealous when our friends are having their second baby?". i dah gelak-gelak masa tu (gelak campur ketiak basah, amendelah  dia merepek nie...adoiii). i cakap, "well, some people do. but i dont. kenapa?". dia tak jawab, dia senyum jer. cehh..kurang asam.

Fyi, we dont use family planning pils or etc, we do it natural way because i learned, stopping yourself from being pregnant not due to health problems is HARAM. so kitorg just lari2 dari ovulation day.

The Beginning of the Story
tapi i tau sesuatu akan terjadi bila i lambat sehari dari tarikh sepatutnya i have my period. darn....  i pergi beli pregnancy test secretly, and try at night, same macam masa sophea, 8.30 pm. and there it was, the second purple line next to the control line. oh well, hello there....hahahaha...

i punya menggigil la, and when i wait for encik husband to come home, we sat quietly on our comfort bed, and telling him i am pregnant, dia pun terkejut and tak percaya. the first question coming from him was, "macam mana boleh pregnant?". i rasa macam nak tumbuk muka dia right that moment.

"macam mana boleh pregnant? i pegi carefour tadi beli ikan, pastu balik tetiba dah pregnant". ha kan...soalan tak beragak. hahahaha.

lepas tu i menangis. sebab i looked at him. he doesnt look very happy. tapi i silap, i lupe muka husband i memang cenggitu. hahaha...muka keras jer. yela, dalam movie kan, nanti husband hug bini dia, buat bulatan, pastu nangis sesama...hahaha....silly me.

Pregnancy Symptom
none. dulu masa sophea, in record muntah dalam 3 kali jer sepanjang 9 bulan. adik beliau,in record, takde. alhamdulilah. cuma masa sophea i love sweet food, desserts especially. chocolate, cake, pavlova, aaaa semua tu i makan.

this time around i suka makan pedas and a lot of sushi. dessert pun takde

 Boy or Girl 
yet to be known. still small. tapi doc ade say something about it. im just blessed. this baby will come out insyaallah dalam bulan 6 2015. doakan saya sihat dan dipermudahkan yer.

Rezeki
betul bila Allah kata setiap anak ada rezeki masing2. kitorang risau jugak kalau tak dapat cater all the babies need kan. tapi:

1. mommy dapat increment in salary
2. daddy naik pangkat
3. daddy dapat beli rumah and we will be moving in, in 2017

just too surreal for me.

to husband, i just pray that Allah will keep our family together sayang. dalam susah dalam senang, we will always be here for each other. we had been through so much, and i dont think other people will survive that. i just rasa bersyukur bersyukur and bersyukur on what we have today, and on what we stand on now.i just love you and our babies so so much.

"there is no perfect family. but together we can make it perfect "

Being a loyal wife

Assalammualaikum.

Being a wife is not easy. being a loyal wife even harder. not the fact that a wife do not want to be a loyal person, it is just that 'she' was not been appreciated the way she had been loyal to her husband, all these while.

taking care of the house, the kids, all the clothes, cooking and everything else, what do you mean when you say "it is not enough for a man" and the fact that boys will always be boys. i mean like, com'on , dont you think if is not enough for a girl, we would actually definitely fine other guys to fit all the three quota?

but we don't my dear husband(s). as what Islam taught us to be humble in everything we do, and be satisfied with everything we have in life, we have everything we want, why do we need 3 husbands then?

please.

we, wives, has been sacrificed a lot. definitely a lot more than you. marry you, give birth, our body are distorted (hahaha...) due to the pregnancy, tak rasa kesian ke kat kitorang?

Like seriously. kalau dah tak suka sangat kat kitorang, just leave us and be happy with the one who can actually can make you happy. but just dont lie to us, dont hurt us physically (no pukul2) and mentally, serta emotionally. kalau you husbands dah tak mampu nak cater kebahagiaan kitorang wives, biar other guys have the chance to make us happy. ececececehhhh...

we also have the right to be happy.

ps: orang lain punya cerita, aku lak yang emo. hahaha....ini tak boleh jadi... hahaha

Ready for second baby?

nope. i'm not pregnant. hahaha.... it is just the question of "when are we going to have our second baby?" comes lingering in my mind (lately!). is was not like i-want-the-baby-now kind of thing,like really. it was just like, a thought, a question and that's all. because definitely we want more than one child of our own. right? of course, my husband did once or twice asking 'us' the same question but not in a kind of serious tone. but by listening to that coming out from his mouth, giving me butterflies in the stomach. hahaha...

a happy one yea, bukan yang cuak. haha.. means i've done a good job of being a mother that makes him goes, "my lady, she's an awesome mom! so i want another one with her.." hahahaha...

anyway, we didn't take any medicine to suppress the objective of getting pregnant, we just do it our own way. preventing the ovulation days etc etc. for us, being pregnant is an ultimate gift from Allah, so why bother stopping Him? because you can't my dear. kun fa ya kun. semua atas izin Allah. so for us, kalau Allah nak bagi, either we are ready or not, we have to do it. our responsibilities. Amanah Allah. jadi kena la jaga kan?

it's the fact that we have to wake up early, sleeping deprives, costing on milk and diapers etc etc make us wonder whether are we financially and emotionally stable for our second baby. for my side, it is more to emotional stability. penat kot.

but the thought of getting the best smell in the whole world, bau baby... bau masam susu dia, hearing the baby's cry, those tiny little fingers, the innocent look on their faces, the act of trying to 'burp' them...ahhh...those priceless experiences that actually make us mom coming back for more children. sobs.... i just reminisced the early days of me and baby sophea. how tiny she was. hihi...

so if you asked me, have i or havent i be ready for our second baby? ermm..it's a NO. hihi..i have plenty of things need to be learn as a mother of one. studying the pattern and trying to deliver the best that i can to be a good mom. while on the husband's side, he did a tremendous job of being a handsome father. he had give so much love to baby sophea since day one. i couldn't ask for more.

The ease

still on holiday. but too much of holidays could be the reason of stress. hahaha...ade ke? ade ke yang stress bila holiday and dapat gaji at the same time? maybe for someone who is workaholic, it could stress him/her out. actually i suka la sangat cuti, but this cuti lebih kepada 'standby'. anytime the management can call me and said, " please report your duty to the management tommorow'. ha nampak? habis tu camne nak pergi cuti kan? tu yang stress nye. kalau dia cakap " you are on leave until december 2014 " haruslah iolss dah pergi cuti. hahaha....

but anyway, class master dah start. as much as i enjoying myself attending the classes, the thought of having tests and exams are killing me, literally my mood. haihh... can we just make it like attending courses and tadaa..." you are a MSc holder..". err...i know life cannot be that simple. whateves...

since my MIL is away for Hajj, and luckily im still on leave, so baby sophea i la jaga. and since my classes are held in city campus, takkan i nak drive all the way from my home back and forth kan. penat lagi (i enjoy driving once i awhile) masa minyak etc etc. but i still hold on to pepatah orang2 tua, "bersusah-susah dulu, bersenang2 kemudian..".

husband has been so nice to me. dah lama tak cerita pasal dia kan? sejak dia naik pangkat, he has been busy with all his works, and i don't mind at all al long as dia balik. lepas naik pangkat lagi banyak dia outstation. lucky me hari tu dapat follow dia pergi jepun, la ni tengok la pergi zimbabwe ke mana i nak ikot jugak...teehee...

ahh talking about me pursuing my master and not be able to help around the house much, husband sangat la helpful. he washed the clothes, hang them and even folding the bajus. and he dont even complain! cuma dia cakap dia rindu nak i masak untuk dia. i guess i nak masak la weekend ni untuk dia. i miss waking up very early in the morning during weekend while husband and baby sophea are still sleeping, and i kemas the whole house, and even done my cooking.

sometimes when i jenguk into our room, my two babies are playing happily entah apa dia borak dengan daddy dia. gelak2 la ape. sometimes one of them je dah bangun (guess who??mestila si kecik dah panjat2 daddy dia). and sometimes both of them tak bangun lagi. waking them up with hugs and kisses. and then breakfast together. rindu sangat...

sekarang weekend pun ade class. sobs...

how lucky i am to have such an understanding and considerate and loveable husband. i couldn't agree more and couldn't even think what had i done in the past to be blessed with such a wonderful husband. he makes me love him even more and makes me want him in every second of my life.

i just hope Allah will ease everything. and make us grow closer and fonder to each other. oklah nak google recipe!!

Quick Update

assalammualaikum.....teehee...lama gila tak write up kat sini. oh well, being mommy is no-more playing around man. but definitely a fun one. anyway, can we have a little bit of snip shot of my life (mestilah 'my life' kate blog sendiri kan?hihi). i will put in in numbering sebab...it looks fun to me...hahaha..

1. remember when i gave birth to baby sophea a year ago? yes...dah setahun rupanya. anyway, during puasa i had my confinement and then i went to japan and due to the time difference adalah hari yang tak puasa. same goes to this year!! this year during puasa i went to london, so tak puasa la jugak for a few days. thus, raya tak berapa nak fun sebab mama cakap orang yang tak puasa tak boleh raya. no?

2. baby sophea is still a baby (at least to me!). this coming september, she will be 1 year and 4 months old. toddler ke dah eh?nantilah check. so tengok ape yang dia dah pandai? (err...i thought all babies are pandai, kita ni diorang kecik lagi dah nak bezakan2 anak org tu lembap, anak orang tu cerdik. so sick la society nowadays). anyway, sophea dah pandai jalan. sophea dah ade gigi. rambut dh panjang. mommy memang sengaja biar panjang menutupi matanya, nak bagi panjang and nak ikat rambut dia macam budak bawah nie.

3. i don't know if i did lose some weight, but the kgs dont go up either. so i guess it is good for me. cuma bila kita lama sangat tak exercise lemah sangat sendi. occasionally adelah i buat a few workout routine, but selalunya workout routine i angkat sophea, kemas rumah, iron baju etc etc. ha!i guess sebab tu la weight tak naik eh?ohh okay...so lepas ni jangan bising la penat kemas rumah bagai, it s a sort of exercise. hahaha.... tapi perot tak leh cover la.menangis tengok.

4. i just love my job. 2 months holiday with salary, awesome kan?? rezeki wehh...sebab tu i tak paham bila orang suka complaint macam2 dalam hidup diorang. gaji sikit tak puas hati, gaji banyak tak puas hati. boss bagi kerja, boring pergi kerja. banyakkk la bunyik sedangkan setiap 10minit kerja kau update status kat facebook? puii... sebab tu i selalu cakap dengan husband i, " sayang...apa yang kita dapat hari ni semua ketentuan Allah. gaji banyak mana, dapat boss macam mana, dapat rumah besar mana...semua tu rezeki Allah. so bila kita start complaint and start comparing, maksudnya kita macam menyalahkan Allah kan? kita macam cakap indirectly yang Allah tu tak adilkan? " . memanglah, kita nak have a better life, tapi bila iols tengok cara kau cakap pungpang2 dalam facebook mendidih jugak. pakai tudang, pergi masjid, iols yakin sembahyang tak tinggal, so kenapa la hidup penuh dengan ketidakpuashatian je kak?

5. alhamdulilah dapat rezeki sambung master. tapi tetiba tak yakin boleh complete kan. yelah, mane nak kerja, jaga anak, jaga laki, jaga rumah, jaga penampilan (ehem!), mana nak study lagi. hahaha...tapi tak boleh nak sorok la, i sebenarnya kind of excited nak masuk kelas study and pay attention (sangat!). mampu ke tak?? nanti ada yang watsapp husband... "daddy, gambar sophea pleasee..". hahaha...that's what we have been doing kalau any of us outstation. hahaaha..

6. next step adalah tunggu husband buat decision, nak beli rumah ke nak beli kereta. ke nak beli iphone? jadahhhh....hahaha...i setuju sangat2 kalau dia beli rumah. i just nak rumah 1 floor pun tak pe, tapi bilik at least 3. hall luas, dengan dapur luas. eh ade ke? haha...tapi i cakap siang2 k, rumah tu, i nak decorate. refurnishing kate omputih. hahaha...

oklah....dah ngantok ni. haha...iolss tengah berlatih nak stay up pagi untuk assignment and tests. hahahahaha...... #semangat

ramadhan #1

eeee dah masuk ramadhan kot.

tahun ni adalah tahun ketiga raya as husband and wife, and tahun kedua raya dengan sophea. last year puasa masih dalam confinement so tak puasa full. and masa tu jugak kat tokyo, jepun. awww i missed jepun so much.

boring betul sebab puasa tahun ni jatuh masa my menstrual cycle. bapak bosan. tak leh nak excited sangat la first day puasa semalam. prftttt.

so since i pun dah start cuti, bermula kisah fulltime housewife ni. aww nasiblah i ni excited hal-hal rumah tangga, mana nak cari isteri cmni di zaman millenium ni...hahahaha....so ikan semua dah keluar. harini rasanya nak masak ikan bawal sweet sour, ikan masin and sambal belacan, air cincau.

kuih muih takde , itu kena tanya encik husband kalau dia nak beli.oklah got to go. sophea dah bangun!

Kesetiaan. Sampai bila?

am i the right person to talk about kesetiaan? sebab being in a relaionship for almost a decade, ok tipu. hahaha..i've been with my soulmate ni dah almost 10 years, and we have been married for 2 years now. so am i the right person to talk about kesetiaan?? i guess i am. ah kalau korang tak setuju pun i don't care. kang i tak tau nak cerita apa. so let's proceed!hahaha

1. bila kena setia??
ha meh i nak cakap. setia itu bermula bukan the moment kite cakap kita couple, or masa merisik, bertunang, or masa menikah. kesetiaan itu bermula dari mula-mula kita kenal dia. sebab kalau dari mula kita dah ada rasa sangsi, dah ada pilihan lain, macam mana nak kira kesetiaan tu kan. "i suka ahmad, tapi belum tentu ahmad suka kita, so takpe kita ada ali." ha nampak? kita tak boleh buat macam tu, tu tak jujur namenye yer. go for it kalau kita rasa he's the one.doa banyak2 moga Allah bukakan hati dia dan kita.

2. dengan siapa kita nak setia?
dengan orang yang kita rasa nak buat dia jadi suami kita. dan orang itu haruslah menunjukkan komitmen yan sama untuk berumah tangga dengan kita. kalau cara dia tak meyakinkan, doa banyak2 dan tanya la kalau dia ni nak main2 je ke or what. don't be afraid with rejection. kalau nak cerita pasal rejection, i had been in my worst condition due to he rejection. whoahh patah hati tiada galang ganti. sampai sekarang masih berbekas dan kita masih cuba untuk turap bekas-bekas itu. tapi kalau kita not overthink about rejection and paling penting jangan letak too much of expectation, insyallah things will be great. lebih baik tahu sekarang, dan bukan lagi 2 jam nak akad nikah. right?

3. sampai bila nak setia?
oh, sampai masa yang allah izinkan. ingat, perasaan sayang, bf, suami ni semua pinjaman allah. sampai satu masa kita kena pulangkan, whether we like it or not. masa jadi bf, mungkin banyak alasan bf bagi kalau ajak kahwin, tak cukup duit lah, nantilah, etc etc. give him time. lelaki ni memang betul needs time untk adapt. diorang tak hebat macam kita perempuan. sebab tu kita boleh lahirkan anak. sebab kita kuat. tai kalau dia bagi banyak alasan, tapi bab pegang2 lebih2 nak, haruslah distopkan dengan kadar segera. what the heck kan? and tanya pada diri sendiri, ikhlas ke tak lelaki tu dengan kita. untuk yang dah berkahwin, tiada lagi istilah diri sendiri. anak, kaum keluarga, semua kena fikir. sekali bole tahan, telan. doa dan mintak petunjuk. but at the same time kita sendiri usaha untk perbaiki kelemahan kita.

kahwin ni bukan untuk seronok-seronok. walapun i is the rasa seronok sangat lepas dah kahwin ni, hahahaha.....tak boleh nak digambarkan. i rasa sebab kita kahwin sebab Allah, cinta sebab Allah, lain rasanya dari zaman bercinta. it was so peaceful but at he same time lovely and kadang-kadang rasa tak percaya je. and it is a bonus for me dapat husband yang sangat baik lillahita'ala. i tak tau la kenapa Alla kurniakan suami sebaik dia. mashaallah.

so anyway, kahwin ni lebih kepada tanggungjawab. i suka sebab i suka please my husband, try to prove to him that i can be what he wants. it's a challenge for myself to be a better wife. siapa cakap dah kahwin takde challenge? everyday is a challenge to be a better me...hehehe

mana nak jadi wife, mommy, a teacher, tutor, companion, a cook, a cleaner etc.

yang paling penting sabar. maybe because i know him long before i married him, so banyak perangai dia i dah tau. so add on untuk perangai dia yang baru menjelma lepas kahwin. hahaha.... so bagi yang baru kenal hari akad nikah tu, the only thing that i can say is sabar. jadi wife ni kena banyak sabar. tak salah pun. and kita bukan mengalah. don't ever think it that way. it's just that we are mature enough to handle things profesionally.

eh banyaknye type...hahahaha...

and...mesti ada CINTA!! and cinta tu mesti hadir setiap masa. like me, whenever i look at my husband, i always had this mix feeling inside, rasa annoyed, suka, excited, rasa nak peluk, kadang-kadang rasa nak slap dia pun ade.hahaha but it stays in my heart. cuma kadang-kadang i go and hug him and tells him how much i love him and that i need him so much in my life.

everyone needs that right??it is just i'm the more expressive type, and he is not. he don't even care. sobs kikikiki ~

Crash!!

fuhhh...lama gila tak update blog. occasionally, i read some common blogs that i love, tapi for my blog to be updated, adalah mustahil. but things change, so do i.hahahaha.

masa adalah lebih banyak dihabiskan dengan scrolling up and down the instagram. man, they are 'the' new addiction!! so bila nak update blog kan? there were a couple of times me and encik husband had a fight over this matter, and we concluded that having a smartphone is just not so smart, and can ruin one's relationship. ha yela, tengah makan duk sebok scrolling, ape jadahnya kan? so kitorang decided not to have our phone at home, during eat out (except for picure's taking...prfttt), and during le sexy time. hahaha....the last one i added.

selalunya i la paling banyak guna phone. but i guess becaue of me, encik husband pun doing the same thing. ended up we were not talking to each other. which is not good kan?? luckily i realized that sooner, so now, i can actually see and feel that we actually enjoyed our le family time together without the phone.

see???kalau kita nak berubah, we have to choose that WE want to berubah. life is a option dude. just dont make excuses.

oh apa khabaq semua??? *heard echos because no one in here..hahaha*

eh nak buat next entri la. cerita pasal kesetiaan!! me likey!!

Alhamdulilah.

Dah dapat first gaji!! Happy kemain.

Lagi happy sebab dah bernazar kalau dapat kerja ni im going to bring my both families pergi makan.

I rasa gaji yang I dapat ni lebih berkat dan of course lebih banyak. Im just happy because they pay me good and tempat kerja sangat dekat dengan rumah. It was like 5 minutes journey.

Alhamdulilah sangat.

Thanks encik husband kerana banyak bersabar dengan kerenah and ngomelan I. And terima kasih sebab selalu doakan yang terbaik untuk I.i guess this is for us kan? To have a better life. Insyaallah.

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Baby's Dilemma

i was thinking that since i (now) get back from work around 2p,, i should have pick up baby sophea kan instead of leaving her with nyai for two days straight. i mean, it is nyai who takes care of her so i tak rasa pape la to be worried . it is just that i feel like i missed my baby even more now. i missed her every second of the day.

kata anak, kan?

at 10months, she's not a baby anymore. sangat suka gelak, especially bila me and her daddy sing it out loud the incy wincy spider song, and the qasidah burdah ya-hanana. she would shake her bum bum back and forward vigourously , and when she's at her back (baring) -_____________-. but we love teasing her like that. nyayi sikit shake lebih. hahaha...

so i just told my husband that i want to pick sophea everyday starting next week. he said okay. im not sure how much we should put aside for the petrol and toll, but i guess we can make it happen. kan sayang?? ahhh having that cheeky little girl everyday at home would be something.

eh dah kul 7 la. nak get ready encik husband balik.

takla rutin kite tapi im trying to make it as a routine:
1. bukak gate utk husband.
2. salam, ciom, peluk sebelum masuk rumah.
3. amikkan air.
4. sediakan makan

ha senang kan? nampak senang tapi penat jugak, sebab lepas tu nak get ready gi jog plak. hihihi....

Quick update!

oh well. hello there!! *lap2laptopyangberhabuk*.

its been a long time yea since i last wrote here?? well, my life couldn't be better than what i have today. mashaallah alhamdulillah. walaupun i found it difficult to be ready by 7, and by 7.10am i should have reach my working place instead of golek2 with my husband cause he-starts-working-at-8.30-and-he-can-continue-his-other-1-hour-sleep is just annoyed me much.hehehe.

but, leaving the working place at 2pm is definitely a heaven. ahh, now you're telling me that i dont have a challenging working environment. tell me, what is the definition of challenging to you? by having some fist fight between the coworkers or clients? yup, i do have that just now. hahahaha....so which part of challenging u dont understand? hikhik...

kay, nanti kite sambung citer best2 lagi k. lapar sangat ni, nak g masak jap. daa!!

Working

Alhamdulilah.
rezeki Allah ada di mana2. luckily when i was told to resigned as i was promised to secure a place at 'the' company, 'the' company rejected me and said that he didn't promised me anyting. what a f*cker. memang i takkan maafkan dia dan keturunan dia sampai bila2 sampai dia mintak maaf kat i and mengaku salah dia. and alhamdulilah. tak sampai sebulan i tak bekerja, i secured another job. well, being a person that is responsible to deliver knowledge, i get it again.

alhamdulilah. alhamdulilah. alhamdulilah. i dah bernazar if i get this job at this salary, i nak belanja makan both my families.

so, what's new with my working place? it is an international institution, with more than half of the workers are foreigners, i think not more than 10 are malaysians, some are chinese, indian and malay. so it is not only one malaysia, but it is one world. hahaha... the best thing is, i work until 2.05pm but my salary is more than what i earn at 'the previous' company.

so again. alhamdulilah. i just cant wait for my first salary!

Lelaki Sempurna

Lelaki yang sempurna di mata saya haruslah encik husband. duhh...kalau orang selain selain encik husband yang sempurna, itu dah jadi lain. hikhikhik.... so sebenarnye entry ni untuk saya. tapi yelah, yang baca blog ni pun diri sendiri...haha so tak kisahlah nak cerita apa pun kan.

entry ni memang berkisar pasal kebaikan lelaki yang bernama encik husband saya. dari mula bercinta sampailah dah kahwin and dah ade sophea, he is still the perfect man i could ever had. pernah jugak terdetik kat hati sendiri, "what did i do to be deserve such a great man to be my husband?".

so ingat yer puan farah, kalau rasa2 sakit hati dengan suami sendiri, sila la baca balik entry ni, and kenapa sebab satu je salah dia buat, u decided to hate him forever. bawak-bawak lah bertenang and recape back all the good things he had done for you, for sophea, your family and everything else.

1. dari zaman bercinta sampai sekarang, tak pernah penat encik husband melayan kerenah i yang sukaaaaa sangat tanya, "do you love me syg?". out of nowhere and out of bloe, when the question popped in my head, terus tanya. kadang-kadang tengah bayar food dekat cashier pun boleh tanya. nonsense kan?? tapi benda yang random ni la i suka tanya. kang kat opis tersenyum sendiri bila lalu depan toilet encik husband pun i boleh jerit dari luar tanya, "daddyy...u sayang i ke tak?". heee

2. i tak suka sangat kalau encik husband bukak kan pintu kereta or tarikkan kerusi nak duduk. once in a while kalau pergi fine dining tu boleh la, tapi selalunya i tak kisah pun. lambat la nak tunggu dia tarikkan kerusi, penat nak duduk cepat. hahaha...tapi i suka sangat kalau pergi jalan-jalan dia bawak all the plastic and paper bags. hahaha... and selalu dia buat la. especially lepas bersalin ni tangan i ada something wrong skit dekat wrist. so selalu dia jela bawak. i lenggang kangkung.

3. masa dah kahwin ni encik husband suka kiss i. i pun sama la jugak. kadang2 kat depan pintu grill, dalam lift, dalam kereta, tak kira masa nak kiss jer. bukan french kiss ok..kiss pipi ke. entah. bau sedap pun yer jugak...hahaha... i rasa rindu jer tiap masa. and dia pun okay je, takde plak bagi pelempang satu das sebab ciom die kan. selalu lepas solat i doa semoga jodoh kekal sampai syurga.

4. encik husband sangat rajin. and details dan particular orangnya. lagi pembersih dari i. and dia tak berkira pun nak kemas pape dengan i. i yang berkira. nanti cakap penat la. i dah buat tu la. dah buat ni la. hahaha...so selalu dia la kene buli. kadang2 kesian jugak sebab dia mesti penat, tapi takpe lah. bukak selalu pun.

5. dia selalu ingatkan i pasal solat. hahaha....i ni suka ngelat sikit. i rasa lepas i kahwin graf solat i ni meningkat dengan jayanya. lagipun, lepas dapat apa yang kita hajat (macam happy married, kids and work), wajib la rasa bersyukur. bawak-bawak la ber-insaf sikit. hihihi...well it's a good thing kan??

6. tak berkira pasal duit. and i pun takde la amik kesempatan mintak bagai. walaupun haritu i mintak die beli pandora, tiba2 i kena saman (mcm tau2 je PDRM ni la), encik husband kata bye2 pandora. i is the very sedih. eh melalut lak citer. i rasa lelaki zaman sekarang susah nak cari yang macam ni. ada duit tapi berkira, takde duit tapi berkira takpela jugak. dah jadi tanggungjawab kot suami. tapi isteri pun berpada-pada la kan. so far barang2 i, barang sophea especially, he's quite alright. i hope dia akan ingat tanggungjawab dia sampai bila2.

7. sangat manja. he can't sleep when im not beside him. rasa suami yang dah kahwin macam tu. gaduh macam mana tetaplah nak peluk time tidur. well, kita perempuan haruslah suka, rasa nak menggedik time tu, and rasa di sayang-sayang jer. hahaha...

8. kalau i ada masalah, dia selalu jadi tukang dengar. and dia suka bagi komen. but thank god komen dia selalu sekepala dengan i. yelah kan, kita ada masalah kang dia bagi komen lain macam tak ke buat gaduh. but he's alright.

9. always there when im in need (read: sms/whatsapp). i memang takleh dia tinggal senyap barang sejam sekalipun. menggugup i cari dia. and kalau dia lambat reply, or whatasapp ada record bila last dia online kan, ha bukak watsapp pastu tak reply, memang hangin. dia pun dah masak dengan perangai i. tak perlu panjang, just to make sure that he still there and alive, it would be more than enough.

10. banyak lagi tapi last point, the love he showered for both me and sophea is just perfect. he loves his daughter so much and i can see that. masa pregnant dia macam endah tak endah jer, tapi once she's out, yup.... daddy's here!! lagi2 masa i pantang, seboleh2 nak sediakan yang terbaik untuk i and sophea. i will always remember that. takkan lupa sampai bila2.

10 jela dulu k...kang lebih2 muntah sendiri. hihi..... but yeah, semua orang ada pasangan perfect dia sendiri. but my prince charming, perfect in his own way. takkan i jumpa lelaki sebaik dia, yang can take a very good care of me and sophea, and respect my family and for everything i have. intelligent and smart, and got his own aura.

kalau setiap pagi tengok dia siap pergi kerja pastu i bebel2 sebab hensem sangat tu aura apa tu?? bukan aura dia, itu aura sendiri yang mengada. hahaha....

ps: so farah, always remember, manusia can never be perfect. but u already found your perfect prince charming. and why don't you be thankful and try to be the best for him?

Resepi Pavlova Senang Mudah Cepat Tepat!

yaAllah...sebenarnye senang gila buat pavlova ni weh. dalam satu minggu je, i baked 2 of these lovely pavlovas. gila ahh... bak kata encik husband "potong kaki wehh..". sebab manis sangat. sebenarnye manis boleh dikurangkan, saje je kan kate dessert apehal nak tawar2.

tapi haritu i buat air sirap tawar sebab rasanye dlm minggu tu banyak sangat minum air manis, sekali encik husband cakap masa makan pavlova tu, "air sirap kalau tawar tak jadi la air sirap...". wahhh...mengader sangat tau encik husband ni. cakap nak buat gaduh jer...nasib baik kita sayang dia...hahaha

ok. so korang dah ready dengan pen dan kertas?? macam kak ton, kalau ade resepi berkenan kat internet, snap je pakai phone. nanti kat dapur drag la screen bagi besar...hahaha....

so lets! tapi before that, lagi sekali i want to stress out, BUAT PAVLOVA SANGAT MUDAH!! sampai kene bayar rm12 untuk satu slice pavlova sedangkan kos buat dia tak sampai rm12 pun....

Panaskan oven dulu dalam 120 celcius

Bahan-bahan
6 biji telur putih (sila asing telur kuning tu, nak telur putih saja. makesure takde telur kuning walau setitik pun. kalau tak pandai asingkan, belajar2 la dulu...hihi)
160g castor sugar (kalau takde selalu i guna gula pasir biasa kisar sekejap dengan blender kecik tu)
1 sudu kecil cuka masakan (ala cuka dalam botol putih tu)
1 sudu kecil vanila esen
1 sudu kecil tepung jagung

Bahan Untuk Hiasan
250ml whip cream
buah-buahan masam macam strawberi, kiwi, blueberries etc etc tempyak tak boleh yer walaupun dia masam dan dari buah-buahan. hahaha

Bahan Bakar
120 degree celcius oven yand dah di pre-heat awal2
baking paper
baking tray

Cara-cara
1. pukul putih telur sehingga jadi berbuih.
2. masukkan castor sugar sedikit demi sedikit selang seli dengan pukulan. masukkan vanila esen.
3. teruskan memukul putih telur dan sugar sampai putih, shiny, dan bila terbalikkan mangkuk mixer tu, dia tak jatuh atas kepala kita.
(i have done these three times just to make sure it was a perfect batter. kalau meleleh ke ape, salah. sila pukul lagi)
4. stop mixer. masukkan cuka dan tepung jagung dan gaul guna spatula / sudip. jangan mix dengan mixer lagi. gaul sudahhh. masa ni da jadi meringue la
5.spread meringue tadi atas baking paper yang dah di letak dalam baking tray. rata kan sedikit. kalau nak buat tinggi, tak payah ratakan sangat. make sure buat macam 'wall' sekeliling meringue tu.
6. bakar selama 1 jam 30 minit pada suhu 120 degree celcius.
7. nak elak meringue patah teruk, bukakn pintu oven dan biarkan sampai room temperature.
8. hiaskan dengan whip cream dan buah-buahan.

makan sejuk2 sedap wehhh...sebab whi cream tu dah keras skit kan. hihihi.... selamat mencuba!

Macam mana nak kurus lepas bersalin?

oh wow. topik hangat dan taboo dalam kehidupan ibu-ibu sekalian. hahaha...but, since we are already here, apa kata kita continue je la penceritaan kita pada hari ni. oh, so sorry sangat2 sebab lama tak update, because surely im struggling with my life and juggling things. a part of me was so broken that i consider it was a test from God, but somehow Allah can't never be wrong and sayang nye Allah ke kita tu dalam macam-macam bentuk. but for right now, i just bersyukur for everything i have, especially husband and my daughter. two precious thing in my life that money can't buy.

so anyway, dah jadi mak-mak ni, lemak pun sangat la tepu. sangat susah nak hilang. tak macam zaman kita muda remaja belia khairy jamaluddin wahahaah tetiba nak masuk kan YB dah kenapa...sebab dia hot! dia menteri yang paling hot di ikuti datuk hishamuddin dan ketiga masih belum follow up. so betul ke tak?? betul kan yang our metabolism is the one actually yang menurun. therefore, kalau kita exercise dengan kadar yang rendah, maka it takes a whole year to remove the fats.

so people, here i am, trying to help you guys on how to reduce weight, and macam mana nak kurus dengan cepat. sangat mudah, simple, dan tips yang boleh diguna pakai oleh sesiapa sahaja, but i fokus untuk ibu-ibu lepas bersalin. sebab i gave birth 8months ago, and yes, i didn't get (yet) my desire weight.

1. orang kata menyusukan anak boleh kurus. for me, it's a no. tapi kakak ipaq i, kurus and perut reduce (she opt for c-sec). i yang normal birth ni, menyusukan sophea for a few months, tak reduce weight and i tend to eat a lot. so ikot orang yer. siapa yang reduce weight masa bagi susu, sila teruskan. jangan stop. biaq pi la orang nak cakap apa, anak kita, susu kita. so teruskan.

2. jangan makan nasi. actually i makan jugak sesenduk, tapi lepas i follow encik husband yang (tetibe) taknak makan nasi (yeahh right!), i nampak la jugak significant penurunan berat badan especially tang perut. so i suggest makan nasi sekali seminggu, dan hanya sesenduk. kalau ikot term kevin zahri, segenggam nasi. makan lauk2 sume okay, tapi makan jela sekali or dua kali seminggu benda goreng. yang lain rebus2 ke bakar2 ke.

3. jangan minum air manis. minum air masak SAHAJA, twister ke, f&n ke, teh tarik ke tak payah. bukan tak payah, tunggu la dah dapat ideal weight, belasah la makan apa pun. korang fikir macam ni jela, mati ke tak minum air manis2 tu?kalau aku tak minum dalam a few months jer, banyak dah boleh turun. ha boleh kan fikir macam tu? kalau tak minum air masak, buat la air limau ke, air lemon ke, tapi jangan buh gula. sedaaaaap lagi2 minum sejup2.

4. berjalan selama 30minit setiap kali. nak buat hari2 lagi bagus, nak buat 2 ke 3 kali sehari pun okay jugak. janji you all jalan 30 minit. kalau yang malu nak keluar rumah, malas nak pakai baju cantik (aje ler la alasan korang kan), jalan dalam rumah non-stop 30minit jer. kalau rumah bertingkek2 tu, cubalah turun naik tangga tu.

so, itu je la tips dari i yang tak kurus tapi nak suruh korang pun jadi kurus sama-sama. baik sangat hati i tau..hahaha...

3 jer tips dia. kalau 3 ni pun korang tak boleh follow, pengsan bertahun2 i okay. no rice, minum air masak, jalan 30minit sehari. cuba korang try sebulan. kurus nak mati okay. hahaha.... kalau korang mampu buat tiga benda ni, memang awesome la korang!!!

Tired

It is very tiring, trying to prove to people how much we love them, and how much they meant in our lives and that we care for them so much.

It is just tiring when none of the above have been appreciated. 

Maybe, just maybe we shouldn't being in love too much.

But how much is too much?

Sent from Samsung Mobile

Siapa yang tak beradab sekarang?

ha, rasa macam besat sangat sebab semua kerja dah settle.

1. exam question paper semua dah siap. dah siap print, dah siap compile. tunggu student datang attend exam jer. hahahaha....
2. hadiah untuk birthday nephew dah siap beli. beli 3 barang sekali, ada lori, topeng, dengan action figure. beli banyak sebab murah. pastu sambil2 tu beli sekali toys sophea. heee.
3. next week start tempat kerja baru. insyaAllah, dapat kerja ni pun sebab bos lama recommendkan. betul la orang cakap, kalau kita sabar dan jujur bekerja, pulangan dia Allah akan balas. alhamdulilah.
4. weekend ni cuti empat hari. sangat terbaik.

***

you know, every time we celebrated hari raya aildilfitri, my mom will always invited over her chinese, indian, and the rest of her friends to join us for the celebration. usually on the second day raya itself, most of them will come from early morning around 11am and will stay around up until 4.00pm. so malam 1st daya raya tu, all of my family members will be busy cleaning the house and also preparing some meals like rendang ayang, rendang daging, ayam masak merah. and macam masak lodeh tu kita masak early morning la, so that tak basi cepat.

as what i learned from their visit, setiap kali diorang datang tu, each and everyone of them akan bawak gifts or buah tangan kita panggil. i mean, we never even once ask them to bring stuff / potluck but every year diorang akan datang bawak gift.

sometimes diorang akan bawak macam souvenier kalau diorang balik from vacation (diorang selalu go overseas for vacation..niceee!), and selalunya diorang akan bawak food stuff. kadang hamper, kadang boxes of chocolate, cake, biscuits, kuih raya, even cordial for drinks pun ada. bukan yang murah2 tu k, ni cordial from other country ataupun yang brand amway ke apa.

lepas diorang datang tu penuh la rumah kitorang dengan jajan. and all of us (basically me and my sister jela) akan excited to see what they brought for us.

so after a while, i beginning to wonder around, this is a very good habit and attitude for us me to grasps on. once i heard, " treat other people the way you wanted to be treated like". something like that. so kalau i suka bila dapat jajan orang datang rumah i, why can't i do the same thing? tak perlu hadiah mahal-mahal, kadang2 kuih tepi jalan beli la 2 3 jenis bawak datang kat umah orang. kira jangan datang kat rumah orang tangan kosong.

kalau you suka orang belanja you makan, kita pun kena suka belanja orang makan.
kalau kita suka orang cakap sopan santun dengan kita, kita pun kena cakap sopan santun dengan orang.
respect others, and others will respect you.

senang macam tu kan?

tapi kadang2 tak nafikan, on the way nak gi umah kawan kita tu, tak semua senang nak access kedai makan ke, kedai buah ke, supermarket ke. tapi mana yang sempat tu beli lah. kalau dah takde cash sangat pun, kalau tau rumah yang dituju tu ada budak kecik, beli la ais krim ke ape.

kita tak tahu ganjaran apa yang menunggu kita sebab menggembirakan orang lain. :)

bila kita jadi orang islam ni, patut kita ada sifat terpuji tu lebih sikit. tapi tengok gayanya....haihhh. susah nak cakap sekarang. kita tak perlu pergi ke Afghanistan sana untuk berjihad bagai, tengok diri kita, sekeliling kita, apa kita boleh buat untuk improve life orang2 Islam kita, tanamkan sifat terpuji dalam diri anak2 islam kita.

budak2 sekarang lebih kurang beradab dari orang dewasa. memang patut sebab budak2 baru nak belajar. tapi please la, sama2 kita usaha untuk jadikan anak2 kita lebih baik. kita jadi orang dewasa ni, tengok2 sikit anak kita supaya bila nak bercakap tu fikir dulu, ajar diorang adab.

tapi tu la, tengok orang malaysia ni dah tau perangai macam mana. tengok jela kalau bercakap bab politik.

sekian.

Breakfast Out : La Bodega, Bangsar Shopping centre

so after so long tak lepak dengan my other group friends (you know, we have childhood friends, high school friends, uni friends, working friends, husband's friends etc etc you name it), with prompt decision making, we decided to meet up at La Bodega BSC. of course, sebelum pergi haruslah i survey food apa yang sedap untuk dimakan. nyum nyum!!

i thought i'm going alone, you know because breakfast will start at 9am as what we planned so i dont think i have enough time to wait for encik husband and sophea siap,kan? oh well, he wanted to follow me jugakkk... baru nak fefeeling single ngurat abang barista but it's good though. yela kan.....nampak la die sudi jadi peneman hidup i kemana saja arah hidup kita ewahh....hahaha! i was quite suprised actually yang dia nak ikot despite that he knew yang all girls punye gossip session.

tapi nampak sangat lelaki ni tak suka gossip kan. what he did? reading newspaper and taking care of sophea yang campak bib and all that she can hold on to the floor while mommy was busy gossiping with hands on air...hehehe....

we arrived at 10.30, the girls ada yang sampai awal and ada yang sampai sangaaattt lambat. apeda....we stayed there until 12.30pm. we thought of going to the Mid Valley to catch up on the baby expo tapi tak boleh sebab packed macam sardin. hahaha...nasib kat BSC ade Krispy Creme (encik husband taknak makan Jco or Big Apple sebab dia kata Krispy kreme terbaik!). i would heavily advise to take only the glaze one. sedap nak mampuihh...

anyway, what did we ate on that breakfast day? ermm...ingat nak makan english breakfast, sekali teringat yang im on a not so strict diet program, i decided to dug into pancake and caffe latte. while encik husband took french toast and orange juice.

Big Breakfast , RM33++

French Toast , RM11++

Pancake, RM11++

as for review:
1. pancake cost us rm11. rm3 additional for extra flavour. i took the original flavour butter and honey. sedappppppppppp..... pancake besar muka dia bagi dua keping. nyum nyum!!!
2. caffe latte dia too strong to my likings as im not a coffee drinker. i added two packets of sugar to break the thick coffee cream taste. rm17.
3. i didnt taste the french toast. rm 11.
4. orange juice was okay. rm17
5. tasted big english breakfast. baked beans sangat sedap, and the mushroom....GOD! sedap nak mampuih... fully recommended. rm33.
6. yang lain tak ingat.

tempat sangat selesa dan sangat bersih dan sangat cantik. i even said this to encik husband, "sayang...maybe once in a while we can have our own sweet time lepak and having breakfast macam ni...". he just said that makan kuy teow goreng ke nasi lemak sotong kat rumah u masak lagi sedap smiled.

plenty of parking bays at BSC (if u'r early). on the breakfast date, my friend will be leaving for Japan soon, and my other friend is getting married. tu la sebabnya jumpe..nak pass kad kahwin. wehuuu!! congrats to both of you!

The Fat Tips

kadang-kadang ada satu masa dalam hidup kita, kita akan rasa 'down' sangat. semua benda macam not fall and fit into the right places, and kita rasa hidup kita ni susah sangat. tapi kan, just take a moment to look around, sebenarnye banyaaakkkkkk lagi benda untuk kita rasa bersyukur and also ramaaaiiii lagi manusia yang lebih teruk hidup dia dari kita.

selain berusaha untuk menjadi yang lebih baik, dan nak hidup kita lebih baik, kita kena jugak berdoa semoga segalanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah.memang tak salah kalau kita compare hidup kita dengan orang lain, tapi kalau you keep on comparing your life dengan orang lain , and that will make you feeling down, apakah gunanya?? kalau you compare yourself to others untuk memajukan diri tak pe la jugak.

especially me. hahaha......sebok tengok orang lain kurus, kau pun nak jugak....tapi sambil compare sambil makan coklat. apakah? hahaha....tu encik husband cakap masa kitorang on the way nak balik rumah, "tak payah la compare2 dengan orang lain. orang yang compare2 and sebok amik tau hal orang lain ni loser, takde motif dalam hidup....". haha....kuang ajaq sangat tau. tapi pastu dia cakap, "tapi kalau u compare yourself and be positive about it...itu bagus lah..".

terus malam tu jogging 3km sekali harung. tapi memang terbaik lah. now we are planning to jog right after he pick me at the train. kira semua dah siap pakai baju sukan la nak run. satu jam je wak. ape la sangat...wahhh berlagak statement. anyway, post-natal weight ni memang liat giler (memang la liat tak workout ape kau ingat dia bertaburan lari lepas beranak??). so lagi 8kg je nak turun. bukan susah pun. -_____________-

anyway, comparing my life not mainly sebab weight, afterall sebelum ii , i weighted more than what i am now gulp? , but on something else. life; life without a problem bukanlah hidup nama dia. selalunya masalah yang datang ni, akan buat kita lebih hargai hidup kita.

tak percaya??

well, i am the living proof. so many things had happened in my life. i passed through it, and most importantly i learned through it. there are a few things that i wanted to share with you:

1. tak semua yang kita nak kita akan dapat.
2. ramai orang jahat dalam dunia ni.
3. but we can start one from our own self ; by being nice to other people.
4. percaya dengan ketentuan Allah.

tapi nasihat i yang paling utama sekali, when it comes to making choices, think carefully and wisely. kalau dua-dua sama berat, pilih yang ada extra point. don't worry, there is no wrong or right when making choices for our lives. it is just either we are following the short way or long way to happiness and success.

so anyway, pilihan i untuk work out lepas balik kerja tu, tak tahulah pilihan yang bijak ke tak. bahahaha.....you know, at one point im afraid i will be soooo tired that i can't cook for encik husband bila balik (but i would be so happy if he can eat only nasik and telur goreng with kicap) , and if i dont go, my trans-fat would be happy living around my waist and tummy.

but, read notes no 3: ".....being nice to other people".

let just stick to - making other people (fat and husband) happy, shall we?

running man

when sophea is not around (read: following her nenek jalan etc), basically husband and i will use all the time to...erm...you know, cherish each other as much as we could. in our own way of course. meaning, doing crazy things and trying to hurt each other (physically).

encik husband selalu je cakap, "hello sayang...awak tu mak orang tau....anak dah satu...cuba behave sikit..". well, that doesn't turn me down on doing things i like the most ;  teasing him. but by the time i want to write these down, i came to the end of the road. maaf lah yer...bahahaha!

but semalam, i balik office a bit lambat , because i met my friend halfway back, so we were basically chirping and gossiping updating each other. i tell that sad story later. so anyway, by the time we reached home, it was already 8.30 pm. luckily we were on diet starvation mode so encik husband nak makan burger jer. diet apakah makan burger. burger la lagi banyak calorie count dia. #dietfreaktapibukandietpunsebenarnye

so while waiting for the burger to defrost a bit, encik husband help me around the kitchen asah pisau. ye ye, im lazy like that , that my own pisau pun i tak asah until i have to do it jugak la. entah la, dah macam terbiasa plak encik husband tukang asah pisau and haaa, lagi satu, isi air dalam ice cube tray tu....hahaha...i punya tahap kemalasan yang amat melampu, dua benda tu je ha. oh lagi satu bab basuh toilet but we girls dont mention that isn't it?

lepas makan, take a rest for awhile, then we went for a jog. it's been a while since our last jog together. i do a bit of circuit training and on treadmill tapi encik husband tu biasalah dia. so we all decided to have our jogging session. siap-siap and off we go.

sampai je i terus cakap dengan ecik husband, "b, i nak run for 1 hour tau. u jangan stop...". dia jeling i dengan pandangan yang tajam. cis, dia ingat i tak mampu. fine! we'll see siapa yang tertinggal jauh kat belakang. i ran and ran and ran until im out of breath. masa tu dah halfway, lebih kurang 1.5KM. so i had another 1.5KM to go. dammit. mana boleh i mengaku kalah.

tapiii...masa tu muscle i dah senak. eh ade ke muscle senak?  but i just continued until dalam 300m nak sampai kat parking bay, i stopped. i had to stopped. hehehe....not because im tired but i stopped because i want to look around the scenery and the night view was just mesmerizing. you know what i mean right??

heee.....anyway, it was definitely a fun run. did a lil bit of cool down then balik. on the way back, we listened to a couple of my selection of songs our favourite songs, happily and energetic of we were that time. i guess when we really put our mind into it, things will eventually happen.

actually we were supposed to have our night run on monday, tapi monday tu encik husbank balik lambat so terpaksa cancel sebab by the time we finished our home cook dinner, dah nak pukul 10.20pm. abistu, kul bape nak habis jog , kan?? i know we were supposed to go, sekejap je pun dalam one hour, tapi sebab kitorang kan first timer after so long rehat, takut jugak tengah-tengah lari tu terpejam terus tido kat situ. hahahaha..... dah tua-tua ni banyak kemungkinan...gitewwww.....

balik je, cuba teka kitorang buat apa??haa......basuh toilet. boleh??? *hentak dahi kat dinding* penat wehhhhh....kena buli plak basuh toilet. i pun apa lagi, purposely buat-buat lambat, angkat kain dulu la...buat exercise perut la kat depan tv, hahaha.... last-last kena jugak. but alhamdulilah apparently tangan i luka sebab kena paper cut #perghhgediktakhengatminahnie so i ambil alih tugas sembur air je. but last night was damn cold, pergh diri kaku jela i sembur air. encik husband tukang sental-sental.

rasa kalau ada yang read dah tau sangat perangai tahap kebersihan encik husband dah macam OCD dah. i rasa toilet tu biasa je, takdelah kotor sangat. ntah apa dia dengki sangat tengok bathroom i. sebok nak sental malam-malam tu jugak pukul 12 am apakah nasib i seorang isteri .

tau-tau in between i dah cranky. hahahaha i ni memang tak boleh. if i feel a bit tired, mulah la i diam seribu bahasa pastu cranky macam dah taknak gurau la. dia kacau i ape ntah pastu i jawab, "ha jangann lahh....kita penat ni....". pastu dia jawab... "haaa cranky la tu...dah penat kan...". ehh la tauuu....dok kacau ceq wat pa....hahaha.

tapi lepas mandi terus segar bugar. hahahaha....siap pasang a chance of a cloudy meatballs 2 lagi siap makan kerepek. entah bila i tertido pun i tak tau. tau-tau encik husband kejut suh masuk bilik. ada patut kejut sesekali dukung la bawak masuk .

but we really do had a great day and it was fun. sometimes being just the two of us is good. but if sophea is around, it will just be great. great is better than good. oh i miss that cheeky little girl!

Sophea's Update

die kan, bila nak update jer niat tu kuat betul. but by the time nak update tu memang ke laut. nasib la ade orang tu suka sangat suruh i update. tak putus2 request suh update blog. tapi i syak la dia sebenarnye perli i, i je buat2 jujur, yang dia memang nak baca blog i. kita sebagai orang islam kan tak baik buruk sangka. wahahaha....padahal memang dah takde orang nak baca kak. tutup jela blog ni.

tapi....tak kisahla. sebenanrnya, in real life pun i memang jenis talkative. mak mertua pun kadang2 dia cakap "sophea macam mommy banyak cakap...". i rasa dia perli tu,suh  bawak2 berkurang kan bercakap, tapi.... he he he...that's not me...not me at all... *flip hair*

tapi i ni kalau diam seribu bahasa, maksudnya adalah yang tak kena. adalah orang yang i tak suka berada dalam radius 10 meter dari i, atau i simply dont want to talk. ada sekali tu i balik rumah mertua, nampak newspaper. i opened it and read it through. seronok la baca paper sebab dah lama sangat tak baca. sekali encik husband datang "sayang...tutup dulu paper tu. nanti mama kata menantu sombong taknak bercakap plak..". terkedu i. terus tutup and chirp around happily. hahaha.... kuang asam punya suami.

so nak update ape kita sebenarnye. update pasal sophea jom!

sophea 31 january ni genap dia 8 bulan. setakat 8 bulan ni apa yang dia dah pandai:

1. she talks a lot! i mean like a lot for baby her age. haha....i wonder dia ikot siapa. ada sekali tu nak dekat 15 minutes dia cakap non stop. well, not literally cakap, but yeah..she talked in her own language.. but me and encik husband sekalu jer terhibur with what she's trying to say. we love it and cherished them so much!

2. she knows how to clap her hands. ni rasanya kena ucap terima kasih kat mak mertua sebab dia yang ajar sophea tepuk amai-amai. mommy biasalah bawak balik rumah terus "sophea...clap your hands!!". hahaha...tapi paham plak anak aku ni. and she will clap her hand repetitively. tapi ikut mood dia la. kalau dia rajin dia buat.

3. she knows when i asked her to kiss me. for example macam, "sophea...kiss mommy...kiss mommy sayang..". pastu dia bagi dahi dia kat i. -_______-. tapi kita macam happy la kan sebab baby kita dah pandai response. so actually, our babies ni listen but they couldn't response (yet). so keep talking and show her things, nanti dia akan buat jugak.

4. she responses to my instruction. ni i baru buat experiment sekali jer. she picked a towel, so i asked her to put it back. and yup! she put it back...awwww....i tiap kali cakap ke suruh sophea buat ke, bila dia respon tu i macam melt-melt jer. she's just adorable..... haihhh

5. she still need to be put to sleep. ehh...macam kejam jer bunyik. i mean, i need to carry her, and hug her sampai dia tidur. kalau dia dah half tidur pun i dah boleh letak dia on her bad. dulu masa kecik-kecik tak boleh. letak je nangis. now she big girl already. sobs sobs...

6. she exciteds more when she sees her daddy. entah kenapa...kalau dengan daddy senang je nak senyum gelak borak2. kalau dengan mommy dia buat sukati dia jer. i know she loves me but she loves her daddy more??bzzzzzz..... mommy yang mengandungkan awak tau sophea!

alhamdulilah, i really can't describe how happy and calm i am now. dah takde apa untuk i fikir lagi especially lepas kahwin haritu (haritu ape...dah nak masuk 2 tahun okay...hahah). sekarang my life memang fully untuk husband and anak i. i just wanted to make them happy, and that they are happy with me around. banyak plan i nak buat dengan encik husband. on how to improve life, our lifestyle, our health, making money, take care of kids and stuff. rasa semua macam tu kot?

maybe our life is not perfect for you, but seriously i couldnt ask for more. it is just too perfect that at some moment i jadi takut, kalau Allah amik balik pinjaman Dia. we all know that this is only a loan from God right? i know...

but always remember things happen for a reason... just be happy :)

Penggoda

i really dont know about other people who already married. did you guys play around a lot with your spouse?? i mean like really fool around the house (err...not in a kinky way of course...i wouldnt dare to know...hahaha) with your husband? coz mannn....i really did get teased around pretty much.

especially time tengah mandi. tak kira la subuh ke, malam ke, pukul 2 3 pagi ke, encik husband tersangatlah 'rajinnnnnnnye' nak jugakkk tutup lampu bathroom i bila i'm taking my shower.. i mean, guys...did you really 'enjoy' that moment huh? listening to your wife's screaming in a middle of a night?? ishh...tak paham.

pastu if i were doin my thing, seboklah jerit dari luar, "baby....buat ape tewww...??". rasa nak jawab je, "masak sayang..." tapi kang dia kata i isteri derhaka plak. hehehe....selalu i jawab "adelah....sebok jer...". pastu i senyum-senyum sebab terfikir apelah husband i ni, sebok nak tau...ke tak boleh berjauhan ke ape... hehehe...

tu okay lagi. masa awal-awal kahwin dulu, tangan i memang dah standby je nak tapek die sekali. apekan tidak, i keluar bilik, dia tengah cangkung depan bathroom. dah kenapa?? memang niat hati dia tu nak terkejutkan i la tu. sah-sah la memang kita terkejut sebab lepas mandi, would you ever once concern on what is happening outside of your bedroom?? tak la kan...mesti la kite fikir takde orang and aman damai je. sekali ada orang duk mencangkung depan bathroom u, haruslahh rasa nak tapek... nasib i tak sepak je. hahaha.... tapi kalau niat memang nak sepak ngaku la nanti ter-sepak. hahaha...puas hati.

tapiiiiiiiiii................

itu kalau kat rumah, kalau dalam kereta jangan harap la. it's my turn bebeh. yela kan, encik husband kan driving, makanya, bermewah-mewahan la i dalam kereta. cocok pinggang dia kan (please don't do this, bahaya actually), joget2 depan dia ke. nyanyi2 sekuat hati ke.

selalu encik husband buat muka sardin jer. malu agaknya dapat wife tak berapa nak matang. atau pun dia geleng-geleng kepala. tak pun dia cakap, "b...orang sebelah nampak la..". merujuk kepada kereta sebelah.

bukan tak matang, it just that, i am being me, and i love to tease him as much he likes to tease me. so same-same la kan? hehehe...

ohh i remember, masa mula-mula kahwin banyaklah adegan panas dalam kereta, hahaha....well, dah halal kan. dulu masa tak halal jauh2 je la. tapi takde la panas mana pun. saje gurau-gurau. sekali kereta sebelah tu ternampak ke skodeng kitorang ke entah la. bila stop kat traffic light, dua-dua orang kat dalam kereta tu pandang kitorang. sekali tahu encik husband buat apa. dia pandang balik kereta sebelah tu, pastu gerak kan kepala dia macam, "ha, apsal? ada hutang?" sambil senyum kat orang sebelah tu. hahaha...orang sebelah tu senyum balik pastu tak pandang dah.

hahahaha.....gila taiko. dahla kau yang buat adegan panas mengundang, pastu kau nak sound dia balik. ha ha ha bagus perangai. but we had a good laugh about it. sampai sekarang kalau teringat balik mesti nak tergelak. ha ha ha.... kitorang ni memang...perangai dah macam ape ntah.

and selalu jugak i tanya dia soalan bonus. ala....perempuan kan suka tanya, "u sayang i tak?". rasa dalam sehari paling tak pun sekali mesti tanya. agaknya kalau sophea tu boleh jawab , dia jawab camni kot, " mommy....agak-agak la. dah la daddy dengan mommy dah 9 tahun, dah dapat sophea pun boleh tanya lagi...". hahaha....tak kiwe.... sukati mommy la.

ada once tu i tanya dia, "despite what had happened, u rasa menyesal tak kahwin dengan i...".

pastu encik husband jawab sambil pandang muka i, "not even once i.......". pastu i tak dengar dah la seterusnya sebab i dah busy angkat barang2 from boot kereta. dah jadi mak-mak ni, nak romantic pun halfway jer. banyak lagi kerja nak selesaikan.

ha ha ha.

Rindu Sangat

semalam pergi makan kat bumbu desa alamanda tu. tak ramai orang pun. baguslah. bukan bagus sebab apa, tapi sebab i buruk selekeh paling tak hengat punyer, so takde la nampak ke-buruk-kan i tu. berbeza dengan encik husband yang head to toe sangatlah handsome. dia dahlah pakai baju baru yang i awesome-ly iron untuk dia. i wonder dia tak rasa ke macam "selekeh gila wife aku!". dahla semalam i buruk, life plak rasa miserable sangat, dengan tak bawak handbag. tau tak ape je yang ada kat tangan i? handphone dengan powerbank. tak ke buruk rupenye? encik husband always look awesomely handsome and tough through my eyes. entahlah, sebab kita cintakan dia kot, tu yang nampak hensem semedang jer.

cuba kalau benci, bayang2 dia pun nampak hodoh. kan?hahaha....

somehow, spending the night just the two us, it helps to put my worries at ease. betul lah orang cakap, dah kahwin ni, gunakanlah suami sebaik mungkin. bukan sebagai account banker sahaja, tapi sebagai kaunselor kita jugak. walaupun..... ha walaupun actually they dont help much hahaha, but the fact kite dah luahkan everything, permasalahan kita, is good enough. that's the beauty of marriage. and that's the benefit of having someone cares for you.

we don't get worried too much sebab dia seorang saja yang nampak buruk baiknya kita. dah nama pun isteri dia.

the fact that makan dua orang jer almost rm130++, i rasa better la makan nasi padang kat kedai indon biasa-biasa. melampau sangat. sebenarnye this was his first time makan situ. i dah banyak kali before ni, tapi i makan masa i pergi bandung. makan 5 orang tak sampai Rp300,000 which equals to RM100++ kita. murah kan? sekali kat franchise malaysia ni mahal sangat.

i is not kaya you know.

***

anyway malam tu kitorang tido rumah my MIL. dah 3 hari tak jumpa sophea, so this is the time la nak jumpa. sophea balik kampung jumpa buyut (moyang) dia.

when i was still in the car i cakap kat encik husband, "sayang....sampai je rumah mama i nak terus masuk tau. nanti you angkatkan beg k sayang?". hahaha.... tahap kedengkian taknak bagi anak kat encik husband dulu, terus bagi order awal-awal walaupun selama ni memang die je pun angkat beg. hahaha...siapa lagi nak harapkan melainkan suami kita yang handsome lagi gagah.

kete stop je meluru i masuk. dari depan gate i nampak sophea tengah minum susu dalam stroller dia. dia sangat manja dan dimanjakan sangat oleh nyai dia. minum susu pun nak dalam stroller. so i called by her name, "sophea.....sophea!". so dia terus stop susu and look around for the voice. i kow she knows that it's her mom's voice.

i bukak je grill tu, dia terus nampak i, and she was like excitedly screaming uuu ahhh uuuu in a very high pitch, waving her hands, dengan kaki dah kelam kabut. omgg....i masa tu nak nangis okay sebab i missed her so much, and yet dia bagi respons macam tu....luluh2 jantung i. but tak boleh challenge when daddy came in, lagi excited dia jerit-jerit. macam, "my parents is here!!!".

i dokong dia, and she was like kaki dia panjat2 i, and she hugged me tightly. mind you, she's still small and i might exaggerate a lil bit, but if you ever have the same experience macam i, you tau la yang anak you was so happy to see us, the parents.

so lama la i dokong dia, ciom2 dia before i took my shower.

by 11pm macam tu she's sleepy. dokong2 dia sambil borak dengan both MIL and FIL, tiba2 sophea's sleeping on my chest. just like she used to when she was a baby. the feelings were great. truly said, i am happy to be a mother and i am so a proud mommy.

malam tu sophea tido je. dua kali bangun for her regular time for milk, sampai pagi tadi i nak pergi kerja pun dia tak bangun lagi. rasa secure maybe having mommy and daddy tidur sekali.

fyi, i have been with sophea for almost one month, kan sebab i habiskan my leaves so lama gila i dengan dia kat umah. so bila dah start 2014 ni, and dah start jumpa dia alternate days, rindu sangat dengan budak bolat tu.

haihhh...only a mother can understand.

anyway, esok malam dah amik dia balik pun. tak sabar nak spend the weekend with my babies. the best moment so far ialah bila kita dibangunkan oleh suara anak kita yang awal-awal dah bangun dulu dari kita. and bila kita celik mata je, i nampak my husband and sophea by myside. *senyum*

the feelings is just bliss. i feel so complete. *lap air mata*

Negative Vibes

tadi tengah kemas-kemas pendrive. ha ha ha pendrive pun nak kemas. panggggg sekali! yela...dah document semua berterabur dalam tu, haruslah kan kemas masuk susun dalam folder cantik-cantik. then masa kemas-kemas tu terjumpe la satu document. document tu la puncanya ada titik hitam dalam hati i ni. hurmm... titik hitam tu bukan sebab perasaan dendam ke ape. titik hitam tu macam satu benda paling buruk pernah berlaku dalam hidup i. kira macam, sepanjang i hidup, itulah 'benda' yang paling mengecewakan. and it hurts so bad that i decided to leave malaysia for good. and truly said, i'm not over it totally. i tau kita patut let go for good things to come our way, but i just cant. lagi2 especially when im all alone atau dengar lagu sedih, kata-kata yang menghancurkan hati i lingering in my mind. and yes, setiap kali teringat bulu roma i akan berdiri, thinking it 'that' thing happen again, what else would i do?

leave malaysia for good? maybe i will. and i bring sophea sekali. that would be nice eh growing up in suburbs of wales, or london. ehehehe.... can go shopping what. he he he... i just hope and pray that people will always keep their promises.

***

oh semalam encik husband konvo. being a wife, i always been proud with him. entahlah, knowing that he is always passionate for the job, and do things accordingly, i just hope in 10 years time dia dapat gelaran datuk. wahh...tinggi kan angan-angan. yela, if he become datuk, i go shopping. hahahah.... nampak tak permainan dia kat situ? haahaha....

i always proud to be his wife, always proud whenever he touches my hand and hold it tight. siapa yang tak suka bila dia rasa disayangi. siapa? semua suka. me too.... macam pagi tadi, dahla bangun lambat, but he kept holding my hand, hugged me tightly, padahal mata i laju je tengok jam pukul berapa dia nak bangun dari katil. but still i dont want to paksa him bangun, sebab helloooo...siapa plak suka tengah tidur kena kejut kan?? slow slow la. pastu nak golek-golek peluk2 kat katil. pastu nanti bising2 lambat...hahaha...cute tapi annoying. padahal dia yang buat lambat tu... hahaha...

i tak tau la perasaan dia kat i camne setelah nak masuk 2 tahun kahwin ni.but for me, my feelings for him still going strong. in fact, it getting stronger when sophea came into the picture. i see him, my beloved husband more like our life's line, as our protector. he, has the biggest influence in our lives. i just feel safe whenever im with him.

i'm sure sophea feel the same way too. *senyum*

hahaha...tetiba nak feeling cinta plak. ni mesti kes tertengok document yang penuh sejarah hitam tu. whenever i picture.............. ok im tired with all these. why la benda ni jadi kat aku??? kalau la boleh basuh brain kite nie so that i cannot remember any of these bullshit kan bagus. sakit otak jugakla sebenarnye.. orang maybe cakap, "ala kau je selalu pikir2...teringat2..memang la sakit hati..". memang la, but hello...it's there. in my BRAIN! that is what we called MEMORY. we can't delete the memories.

mood dah ke laut ni. haihhh.... baru nak stay positive. half day je dapat?? hahaha...

***

dah la. i just want to have a happy life. i dont need people who dont stay the same path with me. they can go if they dont like to stay in my route, the route to happiness. i want. i do really want. having loving husband who loves me and the babies. i really2 want it.

so ya Allah, sentiasa kurniakan kebahagiaan buat aku dan suami serta anak2. panjangkan jodoh kami sehingga ke syurga. permudahakn segala urusan kami di dunia dan juga akhirat. amin. insyaallah.

Putus Cinta

kalau you all tengok meja i sekarang ni, mesti ada rasa nak bagi pelempang 2 3 das ke sebab haru birunya meja i ni tak dapat disangkal lagi. haha...maaflah, bukan sengaja i bagi sepah. minggu ni exam week. pastu ada department yang itu (malas nak sebut) boleh pass2 kerja. i is very the malas nak gaduh. Allah itu kan ada. jadinya, kita biarlah Allah yang balas setiap perbuatan buruk baik kita. senang cerita. so, meja agak kucar kacir dengan exam papers yang belum marking lagi. haihh....

so anyway, tadi tengah hari pass barang kat my parents. well, kitorang kan nomad, jadinya kunci rumah orang pun kitorang boleh bawak balik. ha ha ha.... perasan sangat rumah sendiri ada auto-gated. ermm....maybe ini hint nak bagitau suh kitorang beli rumah ada auto-gated. hikhik...

masa tengah lunch-lunch tu, eh jap....kitorang makan kat kedai ikan bakar kampung bahru. perghh...sedap giler. rm8.70 seekor ikan cencaru tapi bapak besar. okay lah kan. lagipun mama belanje, takde hal lah. ha ha ha. jahat sangat perangai macam ni yer. so mama pun bukak cerita pasal ada saudara jauh kitorang ni nak putus tunang.

selalu dengar lelaki yang nak putus kan tunang kan? tapi ni terbalik, perempuan ni yang nak putuskan tunang. the problem is, we dont mind kalau the girl nak putuskan tunang, tapi the girl is changing totally in and out. dari seorang yang sangat sopan santun (she's like a model, fair, tall, bright), jadi orang yang sangat kurang ajar. she even call names to the tunang. terbeliak bijik mata i, because i know she is not like that.

her fiancee and parents datang rumah pujuk2 sambil nangis because he loves her so much. 8 years of relationship, ingat senang nak lupe and fall for another girl, just like that?? ermm...i know someone will have the heart to do things like that, but for that moment, why can't you think of the other person who loves you?lelaki tu even cakap to let him marry the girl for one day, in hope to change her.

kesian kan? i dengar ni macam lemah-lemah jantung sebab i kan hopelessly devoted. ha ha ha... so bila ada lelaki yang begitu cintakan girlfriend dia, i macam, "awwwww......i want! i want! ".

apparently, lelaki baru yang hadir dalam hidup my relative tu adalah seorang tua berumur 30. i was like, "what that old man do to u??". ha ha ha... officemate yang baru dia kenal within 6 months. agaknya lelaki tua and lelaki muda ni lain kot cara dia.

maybe:
lelaki tua ; "abang sanggup renangi lautan api untuk mendapatkan cinta mu sayang..."
lelaki muda ; "baby, i love you..."

nampak beza dia? ha ha ha. sukati aku je kan. kalau encik husband tetiba cakap macam lelaki tua tu, you know what will i do? *tarik swimpool besar, isi minyak tanah and sets on fire * "ok sayang....prove to me that you love me...cepatt! cepattt!". tengok mampu ke tak lautan api kau tu. haha...

so now tak tau la camne nak settle benda tu. i dengar di tepian jela. the rest biarlah orang tua yang settle. kite ni?kenalah belajar dari pengalaman. tapi ni ahkak (terus rasa tua) nak share a few things la:

1. memang seronok bila berkawan dengan 'orang baru' when you were already in 8 years of relationship. the love spark between you and your forever boyfriend dah tak macam you kenal 8 tahun dulu, sebab tu you rasa excited bila ada love spark baru (dengan orang baru). but if you could only spare a moment untuk ingat kan balik your-love-spark yang dulu, and the feeling you had when you first learned that you dah jatuh cinta dengan your fiance tu, it was the greatest.

2. orang baru. ragam baru. attitude baru. cara bercakap baru. semua baru. of course takkan sama dengan fiance yang kita dah kenal lama tu. your fiance mungkin kedengaran monotone sahaja bila dah kawan dengan orang baru ni. but trust me, orang baru tu pun akan rasa benda yang sama after 8 years of relationship. prfttt!!

3. rasa jatuh cinta tu adalah perasaan yang sangat sukar digambarkan dengan kata-kata. the only thing yang you nak masa tu is him. nak dia ada dengan kita jer. kita boleh jatuh cinta (suka) banyak kali dengan orang yang berlainan. TAPI. in terms of marriage, diantara semua tu siapa yang boleh standby jaga kita masa sakit, yang akan ada dengan kita despite masa susah dan masa senang. haaa....itulah yang kita kena cari. tak semua orang sanggup berkorban untuk cinta dek. trust me. orang yang betul2 komited dengan cinta dia dan taat dengan suami je boleh buat macam tu. so i rasa fiance you yang dah 8 tahun still dengan you tu, mungkin ada ciri2 tersebut.

4. orang baru lebih hensem, lebih cantik, lebih kurus, lebih hot? beauty will fade. tapi kecantikan dalam macam sopan santun, rajin, hormat orang tua, cakap penuh beradab, disukai ramai, funny, itu semua ciri-ciri yang tak akan hilang, but only to get better through out times.

i, once, was falling in love so hard, that when Allah give His test, that i was supposed to love Him more than i love His creation, that was the moment. tiada apa yang lebih berkuasa dari Dia. jangan sekali2 kita melebih benda lain dari Dia.

scary enough? think wise k sayang?

The Big Bad Wolf

semalam cakap dengan encik husband nak pergi big bad wolf kat the mines dalam kul 4am hari jumaat. sebab yelah kan, kate jumaat tu kerja, so alang2 nak bangun pagi siap tu, teruslah siap nak pergi kerja. then lepas shopping kat mines tu boleh la pergi breakfast same2 n terus pergi kerja.

tapi, macam biasalah, encik husband kan suka macam buat turning point. balik daripada kerja semalam dengan baju batik dia, dengan baju kurung moden berlengas 18 jam pakai, terus dia bawak i pergi big bad wolf. i is suka. sangat. hihi.

alhamdulilah jalan tak jam. eh jam jugak sebab ada accident rupanya kat depan UCSI. katenya lori langgar motorcyclist tengok kat waze. nasib kitorang tak ke cheras, kalau tak memang itu jelah laluan yang ada pun. heee...amek kiri lalu jalan heading to UPM tu. sekejap je dah sampai.

ramai gila orang kat mines. kitorang parking kat sana sebab L1A ade 84 parking lagi. lagi pun nak dinner dulu. ha, citer pasal dinner dah satu hal. sekejap nak makan sushi king, sekejap nak makan mcd, sekejap nak makan kfc. ha pening kan? last2 makan mcd, prosperity dengan mcchicken. dap dap. citer pasal sushi king, dari seorang yang tekak melayu tak makan sushi, i dah jadi penggemar sushi. i is to blame encik husband. he's the one who changed me and he is the one to blame. now, nak dekat 2 kali sebulan makan sushi king. padahal dulu, setahun sekali pun belum tentu i nak jamah. dulu euww euww okay nak makan sushi, and will never be my first or even the 10th choice to be the place for dine in.

even now pun takla makan sangat, lagi2 yang sushi pelik pelik. i makan yang tekak melayu je la. eel2 or salmon tu pikir 10 kali baru la nak jamah. now im a (proud) sushi king member. bayar rm20 dapat cash voucher rm20. sebenarnye free la pun yer registration tu. hihi...valid sampai dec 2014. makan sampai muka jadi cam sushi k. hahahaha...

lepas makan so terus lah pergi big bad wolf plak.

one thing i can say. BEST GILA! untuk kali kedua yang dah perg nii, this second experience yang dah pergi sangat best. rasa choices of book lagi banyak, lebih cheaper, and since this time i nak cari buku baby sophea, sangatlah best pergi children department. hihihi....mula-mula amik buku sampai nak dekat rm200, last-last bila sorting, jadi not more than rm50. hua huahua...

encik husband cakap jangan beli yang susah2 untuk sophea , dia kecik lagi. salah ke i beli math untuk kindergarten? beli flash card yang ada multiply dengan division? salah ke? one could never have enough with just one of set flash card, right? and as mommy , we can never wrong for being cautious and start early, right?

hahaha...

sambil jalan dengan encik husband, sambil pegang-pegang tangan. pastu tertiba nak malu. hahaha....malu okay jalan pegang tangan. padahal dulu masa zaman bercinta (adik-adik jangan ikot please), bukan main. pastu terasa la loving-loving. encik husband pun macam nak mengendeng2 je dengan i. okay perasan sangat ni. hahaha...

lately ni i rasa macam grateful and thankful sangat sebab Allah pertemukan dengan encik husband. sebab entah la. rasa sayang sangat kat dia. i mean, it's very difficult nowadays to find a man who can take care of u nicely. who loves you and your daughter so much.

around 12am camtu baru kitorang heading home.

so now tak sabar nak ajar sophea. hihihi...

Tips Rambut Gugur Lepas Bersalin

haha.

sampai juga kita kat topik nie. yes yes girls. are you having and facing this problem after you gave birth?? fret not, we were in the same boat!! ha baca tak 'were' di situ?? yer, i guess i already found the solution in reducing the hair loss after giving birth. baca lagi...i'll help you with this issue, insyaAllah.

tak tau la korang perasan ke tak, tapi during pregnancy, rambut kite jadi lion king dan tebal semacam. lepas tu bersinar2 plak. okay, tipu la bersinar2, tu dah macam emas ke diamond ke ape, tapi glowing and flowy sangat. so i is suka. haha.... lepas je bersalin okay lagi. masuk bulan ke empat, mak aih, i am starting to imagine that i have cancer and going to die soon.

encik husband macam tak suka la rambut i sepah2 kat rumah dia. so i cakap, "u ni marah2, ntah2 i ade kanser ke dah nak mati. u jangan, nanti u yang menyesal sebab bising2 kat i...". ha, dramatic enough?? well, encik husband had to go through with me (and my imagination of course) every single day. tahniah. i think he become stronger every day. ha ha ha.

Case Study
Patient : Women / Age 27 / First Time Mother / Gave birth the last 6 months
Hair : Long / Wavy

orait. so, berikutan masalah rambut yang semakin berleluasa, dengan sifat malas nak letak santan ke ape ke kat kulit kepala, i know the only thing yang cause the hair loss is hormon. korang tau kan, hormon masa mengandung dan selepas mengandung adalah berbeza sama sekali?

tengok gambar di bawah:

 

so anyway, masa kita pregnant and lepas kita gave birth, banyak la vitamin and nutrients yang diguna pakai termasuk lah hormon. kesimpulanya lepas bersalin, we need to eat to gain back that nutrients and also to build and add on all the lost nutrients with good diet.

so, itu je salah satu cara saya untuk regain my lost nutrients, vitamins and hormones. sekarang i still have the hair loss issue, tapi dah kurang, and i can see my baby hair is growing back. well, shouldn't i be happy?

sebenarnye saya main redah and experiment with my own self to know what my body needs. so saya go back to the root; hair loss sebab kurang vitamin untuk rambut hidup balik and untuk kuatkan rambu.

okay, what did i do to have back all my hair?

1. kite kurang hormon kan? sebelum pregnant, memang i makan EPO (evening primrose oil). ni cari jer kat mane2 pharmacy or supermarket, banyak nye ada. dulu i makan sebab terpengaruh dengan akak office, die cakap, kawan dia makan dari zaman 20an, umur dah 35++ pun still nampak 20++. sekali rupenye banyak benefit dia. lagipon EPO ni increase hormon dalam badan perempuan (orang kata EPO tak sesuai untuk pregnant women sebab dia promote hormon anak dara...hormon orang nandong kan lain kan).

2. i minum banyak susu. since kita tau susu ada banyak calcium and magnesium untuk tulang, gigi, kuku semua. sama la macam rambut juga. so minum lah susu banyak2 k.

3. i makan habbatus sauda. well, apa saja makanan yang Rasulullah saw makan, haruslah terbaik untuk umat islam. so, makan lah yer.

4. i basuh rambut dua hari sekali, tapi tengoklah. kalau i exercise haruslah basuh setiap hari. busuk kot.hahaha...

5. ni yang paling penting. sila beli shampu ni. i rasa shampoo dengan tonic dialah yang paling banyak membantu penghasilan baby hair i, and kurangkan hair loss i. tak mahal dalam rm50- rm100 jer.

yer, sila lah beli shampoo ni sebab sangat lah berkesan kat kepala i. hahaha...mula2 i tak perasan sangat baby hair tu, it is just bila line forehead tu makin kurang, i dah puas hati dah. so one day masa i nak sikat2 rambut tu terus macam, "whoahhh....banyak gila baby hair!!!!".

terus menari kegembiraan dalam toilet. tihiii....

i baru pakai satu botol jer, belum habis lagi pun. i pakai tonic 2 kali sehari, itupun kalau ingat.... so far looking so good.

so para mommies out there, jangan risau and stress sangat. setiap masalah ada jalan penyelesaian. yang penting, know your body, jangan stress2 (walaupun husband tu macam menstresskan kita tapi buat tak tau je la k), and try and error.

ok? all the best!!